Here's my contribution for Loliver Day!

This story is one of those 'what can rise out of the ashes' stories.

It's dedicated to Andrew Allegrina, a junior at my school who died in a car accident on Christmas Eve. He was sixteen. I didn't really know him that well, but it hit some of my friends really hard. This is for Andrew.

P.S. I advise you listen to the song, because I'm not giving you all of the lyrics. Enjoy.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

A Loliver Oneshot

Based on the song by Garth Brooks

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one
If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

"If Tomorrow Never Comes" – Garth Brooks

The moonlight shone on the floor of my room, the desk light the only other light. Raindrops were hitting my windowpane. They were doing a good job of drowning out my thoughts. Nature's little sedative.

I sat on my bed, strumming my guitar, when my phone went off. I almost ignored it, but I read the name. It was Lilly. I could never ignore a call from her. It was just one of those things.

I set my guitar against the side of my bed and answered the call.

"Hey Lillz, what's up?"

"Ollie…" her voice was shaky, she had been crying.

"Lilly, what's wrong? You're crying. Are you okay?" I sat up on the bed, she was worrying me.

"It's bad…Matt…he…" she started to cry again.

"Lilly, did he do something to you?" I was ready to kill Matt if he had done anything to Lilly…

"No," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "It's Matt, he's…dead"

"Oh Lilly…"

Matt and Lilly hadn't dated for a while, but they were still really good friends. She was probably a mess right now.

"Ollie I need you"

Her call for help almost broke my heart. She needs to be here, in my arms. Now.

"I'll be right over hun, just give me a—"

"Oliver, I'm at your front door. Just let me in, please."

It took a second for her statement to register in my mind. Within seconds I was off the bed and running down the stairs, hitting the front door and opening it as fast as I could. What I saw broke my heart.

Lilly was standing awkwardly on his front porch. She was soaked, but I couldn't tell if it was from the rain or from her own tears. She just looked at me. I could see in her eyes that she was about to fall apart.

"Oh Lills," I said before rushing to her and wrapping my arms around her. She started sobbing into my shoulder.

I looked up at the sky, scorning the bitter rain that fell upon us. I didn't need her catching a cold on top of this. Slowly, I picked her up bridal style to bring her inside. She didn't fight me. She clung to my neck with her arms and continued to weep into my shirt.

I made my way up the stairs, Lilly in my arms, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I'm horrible in these situations. I'm one of those people who padlock their feelings away, concealing them from the world.

Exhibit A. Lilly Truscott

I couldn't live without the girl. Most guys my age are dating around then bragging to other guys about their achievements. I used to be like that, but, well, things change. I changed, Lilly changed, and now, well now I'm falling for my best friend.

No-one knows. Like I said, I'm good at concealing my feelings. I don't want to ruin what we already have for my own selfish needs. I love her too much to risk losing her.

So here I am, gently pushing her into the bathroom with a Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of penguin boxers, leaning against the wall to be here for her when she gets out.

She came out wearing my clothes. Her eyes were still red, but she had stopped crying. I think she was going numb.

"Thanks Ollie, I really appreciate this," she said genuinely.

"No worries, you'd do the same. You wanna sleep over?"

She nodded and I led her to my bed to tuck her in. She looked at me questioningly as I grabbed a pillow and threw it on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not about to make you sleep on the floor," I said simply.

"Oliver, if I wanted to sleep alone, I would be at my own house. Please."

I smiled at her and nodded. I simply couldn't say no to her. She turned and I had to take a deep breath. The padlock on my feelings was being sawed off, slowly but surely.

I went to crawl into the bed and realized for the first time in my life how small a twin-size bed was. I was almost on top of her, which was hard for me, but she seemed okay with it, so I put my arms around her. It seemed that she needed someone near her right now.

"So, what happened?" I said softly, not really wanting to push the subject. She turned around to face me, putting our faces so close together that I could feel every breath she took on my face. It was nerve-wracking.

"Well, I guess Matt and Anna were out together when some drunken idiot ran a red light. Matt died at the scene and Anna is paralyzed from the waist down."

"Oh god," I said, letting out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"I feel so bad for Anna. Matt told me that he loved her; I'm sure she felt the same way. And now, she's lost him and her ability to walk. Sometimes life just isn't fair."

"No, it's not. How old was he?"

"He was going to turn seventeen in a month. He was way too young to be taken like that."

"Are his parents okay?" I asked, knowing from my mom, whose sister died when she was eleven, that this kind of thing could destroy families.

"I guess. Sean is coming home from college, and I don't think Amy knows what's happening. I think his parents are just numb."

"Parents should never bury their kids. It's just not supposed to happen like that."

"It just makes you think, doesn't it?" Lilly turned around. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Slowly, her breathing became shallow and I knew she had fallen asleep.

She was right though. Matt was only a few months older than I am. If something like this could happen to Matt, what kept it from happening to me?

Maybe there isn't anything keeping me here. Maybe my days are numbered. What if I never live to see graduation? Get married? Have kids? Grow old?

All the things I take for granted could be taken away in a moment. Moments like this. Everyday moments. Simply laughing. What would it be like never to laugh again? What would it be like if I could never see Lilly again?

That thought stopped me in my tracks. Lilly. I moved closer to her, now needing her to be near me, needing to feel her warmth, her breathing. What if I died and she didn't know how I really feel? What if she felt the same? Would she regret it for the rest of her life?

I pulled her closer to me and buried my face in her hair. She barely stirred, which I was glad for. I didn't want to explain this feeling to her right now. This horrible feeling of what I would do if I lost her.

If tomorrow never comes, would she know how much I love her?

I got out of bed, this old song stuck in my head. I sat down with my guitar and started strumming the chords.

"If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one
If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes"

"Ollie?"

In the darkness, I could see the shadow of her thin figure move toward me and sit down next to me. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I smiled slightly.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked, sort of ashamed that I couldn't keep the song stuck in my head until morning,

"You shouldn't have let me sleep at all. I'm glad you woke me up."

"Why? You seemed to need the rest."

"No, being awake kept me from nightmares. Sometimes they're worse than this horrible reality."

"Oh sweetie, are you okay?" I said, putting down the guitar and wrapping my arms around her.

"It was just a nightmare. I'm okay now though" she said, I felt her gently rubbing her finger along my arm. I was finding it hard to breathe, and I was hoping to god she didn't notice.

"What was the nightmare?"

"It was you. You were…" She didn't need to finish. She had dreamed that I was Matt; that I was the one who had died at the side of the road.

"Oliver, for those few moments before I knew it was a dream, I didn't know what do. Then I woke up and you weren't next to me. Ollie, I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Living without you. Thinking that maybe you'd never know—"

"Know what?" I asked, pulling her closer.

She looked up at me; I could still see her eyes in the dark, the blue and green mixing together in the depths. They shone with tears, but these tears were for me, not for Matt's life cut short. I wiped a single tear from her cheek with the side of my thumb. Her lips parted and it took everything I had not to lean in and kiss her.

"Oliver, if I died tonight, you need to know…" she seemed nervous to complete her sentence "…I love you. I know it may come as a shock, and you may not feel the same way, and, hell, I may regret it in the morning, but right now, I just can't hold it in anymore. I just—I love you."

All at once, my heart stopped beating and I couldn't breathe. Like, I actually couldn't breathe. She had a worried look on her face as she stroked my cheek, trying to get my attention. That was the last thing I need it, because it was making it even harder to breathe.

I choked out the only thing I could manage.

"Don't touch me"

She looked at me, ashamed, before she started to cry. Horrible choice of words on my part.

I took a ragged breath, and another, before I was back to normal. She was still crying.

Slowly I pulled her onto my lap, "Lils, you know that's not what I meant. You were taking my breath away…"

She still refused to look at me, "Oliver, if you're trying to use one of your stupid pick-up lines, I—oh…"

She looked into my eyes and realized that I wasn't kidding. She took my breath away.

I nestled my face in her neck and whispered, "The truth is, if anything happened to you, I couldn't survive. I love you, Lils."

I pressed a kiss against her temple and I heard her breath catch in her throat. It seems that I have the same affect on her as she does on me. I smiled and did it again.

"Ollie…" she whispered. There was a hint of hunger to her tone.

"Its okay Lils. Everything is going to fine. Just go to sleep and in the morning you can have a fresh start."

"With you?" she said expectantly.

"With everything, you can have whatever you want, just get some sleep. 'Kay?"

"Alright", she slowly stood up, making my lap feel horribly empty. I smiled into the shadows as I watched her cross the room and lay on my bed, facing me.

"Are you coming?" she prodded gently.

"Actually, I'm perfectly content watching you sleep from here," I joked. In actuality it was taking all the self-control I possessed not to run over and hold her in my arms.

"I'm not. I'm gonna have nightmares if you leave me here all alone," she rebuked matter-of-factly.

"Then what are you going to do tomorrow?" I said as I crawled in beside her. As soon as I was in the bed, she wrapped her arms around me and I did the same.

"I don't know, we have to live for today, because tomorrow may never come."

"Don't say that…" I said, not wanting to leave her, ever.

"No, its okay. I love you, and you know that now, and you love me too. That's all I've ever wanted", I kissed her forehead and smiled.

"Oh god, you'll never know how much I love you," I said as I gently pressed my lips against hers. I felt my lips tingling from the sparks and I couldn't stop myself. I pressed harder and I felt her responding as strongly as I was. She slowly pulled away to breathe and I smiled, unable to contain myself.

I guess something good can always come out of the ashes. Even though Matt was gone, and Anna was alone, it helped the rest of us understand what the real meaning of life was.

This thought still put a damper on my thoughts of a make-out session, so I simply decided to hold her in my arms, grateful that she was still there.

xoxoLOoxox

When I woke up the next morning, the sunlight came flooding through my window and lit every corner of my room. Memories of the night before came flooding back.

Without opening my eyes, I felt for Lilly on the other side of my bed, but I simply felt the shallow groove where she had slept the night before.

I shot up in my bed and looked around the room. It only took me a few seconds to realize where she was. Her petite silhouette was obvious against the sunlight pouring in.

I crept over to where she stood wrapped my arms around her. She leaned into my chest. She must have been thinking about Matt.

"He wouldn't want us to stop living for him," I whispered gently into her ear.

"I know. I was actually thinking the opposite. This is a day he'll never live to see, maybe we should live it for him."

"Yeah, live every day like it was your last huh?"

"Yeah"

"I want to live them all with you," for a moment I couldn't believe I had said it, but then she turned around to face me. Our faces were almost touching, but I couldn't force myself to let go of her.

"Ollie, do you really mean that?" she asked in a barely audible whisper. Her eyes held so much hope that I couldn't contain my answer for long.

"Every single moment of every day, Lills. I'm yours."

"I sort of like that. As long as I'm yours too."

"You don't have much of a choice, my heart kind of decided that one," I smirked and her eyes lit up for the first time since she had arrived.

Slowly she reached for my hand and placed it over her heart. I felt the slow beats speeding up as my hand hovered there and I couldn't tear my eyes away from my hand.

"I think my heart agrees," she said, almost shyly.

My eyes moved from my hand to her eyes. I felt my hand move from her chest up to her cheek. I poured all of the feeling I had at the moment into the most mind-blowing kiss I had ever had. I could feel my knees shaking, and I was pretty sure my arms were the only thing keeping her standing. I pulled back to catch my breath.

So this is what love feels like.