Chapter One
I felt the sun warm my fur as light poured out of the opened car windows. I hugged my knees, and peered out of the window. I saw the sun and the blue sky—that was exactly the opposite of what I was going to see where I was going. I sighed, and thought about my destination. I was traveling to Sporks—the rainiest city in America. Well, you really couldn't call it a city. It was more of a small town.
I glanced at the man driving the car next to me. He was my boss—an old man who acted more like a teenager at times. I chuckled. I was going to miss him—Major Monogram. Monogram kept his eyes on the road, but said, "You know, Perry…you really don't have to do this." I shrugged and faked a smile. "Er—well…I really want to. No worries." I lied. Monogram blinked twice, not believing me, probably. I sucked at lying. I leaned against the car wall, and listened to the Major. "I guess that's fine. If you want to go, that's your decision to make. Not mine." I nodded. He kept a straight face. "And, well…make sure that Doofenshmirtz doesn't do anything too evil." He added.
Doofenshmirtz.
The reason I was moving to Sporks. The crazy mad scientist who schemed evil plans every day. He was a maniac. Why was I following him, you may ask? Well…as crazy as it may seem…he's my best friend.
Monogram pulled over, and after a few seconds, it dawned on me that I was already at the airport. I crawled out of the car very slowly, savoring every last moment of Danville. I shut the door to the car, and turned to Monogram. His eyes were sparkling with tears, and to my shock, I felt tears cascading down my cheeks as well. I quickly wiped them off with my arm…a good agent never cries. But it wasn't any use—the Major had seen.
"Don't cry now, Agent P…" he murmured. I blinked twice, then replied, "Okay, first of all, I'm not crying. My eyes are just sweating." I pitifully lied. Monogram shrugged. "Whatever you say…" he said to me. I crossed my arms and pouted at his response. I then concluded, "Second of all, you can just call me Perry, now. With the decision I'm making, I can't be part of the agency anymore." When I said that, Monogram quickly turned away, as if to hide his facial expression. I walked up to him and put my paw on his shoulder in a comforting kind of way. I would have put my paw on his shoulder, but my shortness got the best of me. Monogram smiled, and looked at the time on his watch.
Oh my gosh! Perry! Your flight leaves in exactly ten minutes!" I felt as though my jaw hit the floor. I shook my head in disbelief, and ran to my gate. I turned around for the first and final time to find that Monogram was already walking back to the car, slumping over as he walked. I blinked away my tears and saluted him for the final time—even though he didn't see. I remembered the time, and quickly let my legs take over.
When I got to the gate, I felt people staring at me. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Haven't they ever seen a platypus before? I threw my ticket on the desk in a rush, and without waiting for a confirmation, I picked up my luggage and zoomed into the plane. Well, right in front of the plane, actually.
I had totally forgotten about my phobia of flying until I was standing right in front of my worst nightmare—a bush plane. So tiny, so claustrophobic, so prone to crashing. I shuddered.
TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEI believe that a living creature belongs in two environments—water, and land. The sky is home for the clouds. The sky isn't for ANYONE.
I blinked in shock, and forced myself on the plane. I was sweating, and twitching, and wringing my hands. I WOULD be clutching onto the arm rests, but there wasn't any on this sorry excuse for transportation. This plane would be in the air for ten hours. I sighed. This was going to be a LONG flight.
Ten hours later, once the dreaded plane had landed, I grabbed my stuff and got the heck out of there. I was still panting from the flight, and decided I would never set my webbed feet inside a bush plane EVER AGAIN.
I ran outside the gate, wiping small drops of sweat off my forehead. That is, until I felt someone tapping of my hat. I looked around, but saw only human legs—and a lab coat. I grinned. I knew who was directly above me. I looked up to find that I was right. A smiling Doofenshmirtz was waving at me, looking as cheerful as ever. My tensed up muscles relaxed when I set my eyes on him. I felt as though I was floating alongside him until I got outside. My happy moment collapsed when I saw the gray skies and pouring rain. The weather in itself reminded me where I was. I sighed deeply. I'd forgotten to say my goodbyes to the sun. I climbed into the passenger's seat of Doofenshmirtz's car and felt the jerk of it moving forward.
Doofenshmirtz turned the radio softly. "It's good to see you, Perry the Platypus." He said cheerily. I closed my eyes. "You can just call me Perry now, you know." I reminded him. Doofenshmirtz hit the brake in shock, and my arms flailed around in fear of crashing. I took several deep breaths before turning to Doofenshmirtz angrily. "What was that all about, Heinz?" I screeched. Doofenshmirtz held his hand up to his forehead. "I'm not hyperventilating, are I?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes, and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Um, no?" I said, unsure…to be honest. His lips didn't quiver the slightest bit. "H-how can y-you talk?" he stammered. Whoops. Gosh, I'm an idiot. I should have not spoken to him, yet! "Err…yeah. About that…if I was going to come live with you, Monogram and Carl both told me that I had to be able to communicate with you. So they surgically transplanted a translating device into my vocal cords." I said, pointing to my throat. Doofenshmirtz blinked at me. "You would go into major surgery just to come be with me?" he questioned. I shrugged, and Doofenshmirtz started the car up again, acting as if nothing ever happened.
"Well…besides the fact you can talk now, you haven't changed much. I grinned. "You know that the last time you've seen me has been only two months ago, right?" I asked. Doofenshmirtz grinned back. "Well, yeah…but a couple of months can change someone, you know." When I didn't respond, Doofenshmirtz quickly changed the subject. "How's Monobrow?" he asked. "Monobrow?" I laughed. Doof laughed with me. "He has that one unibrow, I can't help but say it!" he defended himself, still laughing. "Monogram is fine." I said. Doofenshmirtz smiled even wider and said, "Guess what? I found a really great car for you! And it's REALLY cheap!" he said. I was speechless. He had gotten me a car? "Seriously? What kind?" I asked eagerly. When Doofenshmirtz didn't respond, I changed the question. "Where did you get it, exactly?" I asked. Doof looked as excited as I felt. "My good friend here, Teddy, is lending it to me. He doesn't need it anymore. He has some sort of a disease in his legs…so he can't drive. He's on crutches now, but he'll be in a wheelchair soon." I didn't respond. I didn't like to hear stuff like that. Doofenshmirtz saw my reaction quickly and changed the subject. "Um, Teddy has a cat…she's like you. She used to be an agent until Teddy found her during a mission. He lets her walk around on her hind legs now, and whatnot." I smiled, glad to know that I might already have a friend. "What's her name?" I asked, maybe too excited.
"Her name is Pigeonwing. Pigeonwing Black."
"Well…that's an odd name." I commented.
"Yes, it is. And to tell you the truth, her pelt is white. Her last name is the opposite of what she really is." He said. I shrugged. Last names don't mean anything. We did about an hour of talking until we pulled up into Doof's driveway.
"Wow…nice…house…" I commented. I'd only seen him live in an apartment building before. The fact he and I were going to be living in a house was a bit relieving to me. Doofenshmirtz shut the car door with a bang. "Yeah, I know. It's a whole lot better than that horrible apartment, don't you think?" he asked me. I nodded, giving him the thumbs up sign. Doofenshmirtz smiled, and continued, "Well, I'm glad you like it. I had a bigger budget this time." He chuckled.
I took my suitcase and walked into the house. Doof followed, and lead me to my room. "Er…your room is upstairs. Are you alright with that, Perry the Plat—I mean, Perry?" he asked cautiously. I didn't reply, I just faintly nodded. I dragged my suitcase up the stairs and walked around the single hall in the two story part of the house. I laughed to myself: at the very end of the hallway I saw a room with a large sign of the door that read: PERRY'S ROOM! DON'T USE IT FOR STORAGE!
I closed my eyes and smiled to myself. I would laugh out loud if I found he had accidentally made the mistake of using my room for storage, even with the reminder of the sign. I ripped the sign off and folded it up until it could fit in my hand. I would keep this as a memory of this moment. I was a little impressed, though, about his good handwriting. I shrugged, and opened the door. My mouth opened in despair.
My room was—drab. My bed sheets were gray, and my walls weren't painted. I had a window with see through curtains. The window was cracked open, letting a small breeze wisp in, allowing the curtains to wisp around, and also letting a crack of light crawl it's way in to illuminate an empty chair. My room, in one word, was horrible. It was like a SCARY MOVIE. And I was the victim. Sooner or later the villain would come out and get me—not an actual villain of course, but the villain of my life. The villain that sent me to this drab town. I threw my suitcase on my bed and opened it, unpacked my belongings. Soon, after sulking for a half hour, I heard Doofenshmirtz calling me.
"Perry! Come here!" he yelled excitedly. I sighed. I was just getting my sulk on. I trudged downstairs, a fake grin playing upon my face. "Perry, your car arrived!" Doofenshmirtz said to me, eagerly. When he said that, it seemed as though my whole body was energized once again. Yes! My car! I zoomed outside and saw a man on crutches…and a white pelted cat with a fedora. They were right next to…my amazing car! I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes turned into hearts that day. My car was a faded blue color. I ran into it, and realized with alarm that the cat was following me. I climbed into the driver's side and imagined myself driving it. I closed my eyes, and daydreamed about it—until I heard the door to the passenger's side slam.
I angrily looked at the cat, and she tipped her fedora at me. "Hello, there." She began. "I'm Pigeonwing. I used to be an agent here before I got fired by that sorry excuse of a boss." She scoffed. I relaxed my angry face and let a smile form instead on my face. So THIS was the cat Doofenshmirtz was telling me all about. "Hey. I'm Perry. I'm a former agent, too. I enjoyed my time as an agent, but my decision to come here left my opportunities impossible." I said, a mournful feeling leaving a fog in my chest. But Pigeonwing just shrugged. "I guess we're both on the same page then, huh?" was all she said before working on my car.
I looked at her curiously. "What are you doing?" I asked cautiously. Pigeonwing lifted her head, now blackened with soot from the car. "Oh, nothing. Just working on your car. You need to power a car up before you can drive it, you know." Pigeonwing mewed with a grin on her face. I scoffed."Well I knew THAT." I informed her. She just smirked at me before diving into the soot-covered engine once more.
Doofenshmirtz smiled, and grabbed my paw. I jumped, startled. Doof dragged me into the house. I put my paws on my hips. "Really, Doofenshmirtz? Right when I was having a conversation?" was all I said. Doofenshmirtz waved his hand around. "Oh well. You'll have other opportunities with women." He said. I gave him a disbelieving look. "Seriously? Because I don't think so." I replied. Doofenshmirtz did the same hand gesture that he did before. "Well, you will. Because…I enrolled you in Sporks High School!" he announced. I was speechless. I just let my jaw hang open. I quickly composed myself and said, "No no no no no…no. Just…no." I said, stunned. Doofenshmirtz's face fell. "Well…why not?" he interrogated. I groaned. "I'm an animal. And as an animal, I don't go to school." I said, proving my point. Doofenshmirtz gained composure. "Well, it's a high school for ANIMALS! You're seventeen, right?" he said. I closed my eyes. "Yes, I'm seventeen." I grumbled. Doofenshmirtz threw his arms in the air. "Well, ok then! Seventeen year olds go to school, whether you like it or not!" I balled my paws into fists and stomped my way upstairs to sleep. I didn't care if it was only 10:20; I was going to sleep to escape all this for now.
I didn't sleep well that night. I couldn't help but think about the quarrel with Doofenshmirtz, and replaying the scene over and over in my mind. I thought about my boring gray room, fitting enough to this boring gray town. But especially, I thought about high school, and how well it would go. I never really fit in with the other agents. Once Doofenshmirtz asked me, "Are you a beaver or a duck?" Ever since he asked me that, I would ask it to myself. I began to wonder why Phineas and Ferb even bought me. I blinked. Phineas and Ferb. How were they doing? The horrible memory came back to me once more. In order to leave to live in Sporks, I'd have to fake my death to my host family. I had to rummage through the sauce drawer to find ketchup. Then, I would have to prick myself ever so slightly in the side with a knife. That would leave a wound mark. With my own blood oozing out of my injury, I would pour ketchup onto my wound as well. I closed my eyes, and waited for the reaction. It was horrible. I—I don't even want to think about it. I ran my paw down my side until I hit the small dent in my side. I winced—not from the pain I felt in my body, but the pain I felt in my soul. Forever scathed.