Alcohol and Hormones Are Not a Good Combination
FlorMorada and Trypophobica
Disclaimer: We own nothing.
Me and my friend/Beta/therapist/slave/dog, Trypophobica, decided to write a short story. She came up with this plot, I said it was cool, so we wrote it. It's Jori. This chapter's in Jade's point of view. Enjoy.
Jade
"So, when's Vega's party?" I ask Beck, my boyfriend(Yes, he's taken. Back off.), with a raised eyebrow. I would never in one million years admit that I wanted to see Tori, but after recent.. issues, I kind of have to. Plus, Beck's dragging me with him, and I kind of enjoy it when he makes me do stuff. It's a weird turn-on that I would deny if you accused me of it, but I like being 'on the bottom'. It's nice for someone to do the thinking for me, I guess.
"It's at 5:30, for the fifth time." He snaps at me, almost automatically. That makes me smirk, 'cause that's another thing I love about him. He's usually so lax and laid back, but when you piss him off, he won't take shit from you- even when you're his girlfriend. I snuggle into the crook of his neck and a sound comes out of the back of my throat that I did not make voluntarily, but it sounds like a mix between a squeak and a purr.
"Aww, Jadey." Beck says, wrapping one arm over my shoulder and pulling me closer to him. "Do you wike snuggling Becky-wecky?" I make the sound again and forcefully nuzzle into him. I hear an 'oomph' from above my head and smirk in satisfaction. We're sitting on his bed, in his RV, and leaning against the wall. It's a tiny RV, but it's really convenient and it's kind of like a car. Not because it technically IS one, but because it looks really tiny on the outside, but when you go inside it's pretty damn big.
Becks hand is rubbing up and down my back and I close my eyes to relish the euphoria. I mumble something to him about how good that feels and not to stop, when I hear a voice right by my ear.
"I know something that feels even better than that," Beck whispers, and I feel a hand riding up my shirt, the warm heat makes me shiver. I shove his face away in irritation, not even bothering to open my eyes. He'd been like this all day, and I had no idea why. He was probably on his man-period or something, because all he wanted was in my pants.
"Beck, control your urges." I say with a joking tone, but with a firm message behind it. "You're not getting in my pants until I'm ready." He made a grunting sound that I assumed was directed at me, but I didn't bother responding. Instead, I said, "Why are we even together?" He tenses up beside me and I try not to laugh- he's obviously scared that we're going to fight or something. Even if we did, it's not like he would lose. Jeez, this boy needs to grow a pair. "I mean, the emo, goth playwright and the school bachelor? Isn't that unlikely, or is it just me?" I cover up my verbal fumble before Beck can get offended.
"Why not?" He responds simply, like we're soulmates and meant to be together forever.
I just shrug and rest my head on his shoulder, leaning up to place a kiss on the bottom of his chin. His arms close around me and I feel so secure, so safe in his arms. He isn't one of those neglectful boyfriends who treat you like total shit just to impress his douche bag friends, and I'm grateful for it. But if he was, he doesn't have any douche bag friends(besides Robbie) to impress, anyway. I'm zoned out, my vision did that weird thing that it does where when I'm not trying to see, everything gets unfocused and a little bit blurry, so I don't see it coming when Beck starts to tickle me. I'm giggling and laughing and writhing around in his grasp and even though it probably looks like he's torturing me, we both know that I'm enjoying it way too much. I laugh until I'm crying, and then he stops. Wiping my tears from my eyes, I can't help but let out another giggle, then a contented sigh.
If Beck was an animal, he'd be a puppy. Not just because they're insanely adorable, even when they get older, but because they're immensely loyal and he just acts like one, I guess. He's kind of playful but not in an 'annoying bastard' kind of way, you know? I run my hand through his hair, imagining that he's a labrador. I could totally see that, and I chuckle at the thought. Seriously, imagine it! Picture a golden retriever with Beck's hair. Do it, you'll crack up, too.
If I was an animal, I'd probably be a kitten or something. I know, 'Jade West? As a kitten?'. It's not that hard to believe, actually. Think about it: Cats are very volatile animals. I'm a volatile person. Cats are suspicious and pretty much total ganks to anything that threatens their territory. I'm a total gank to anything that threatens my territory, and my territory is Beck.
I honestly don't know if I love Beck anymore.
Since last year it seems like we've just been dating to satisfy the populace of the school and although our friendship never died, I really can't see myself marrying him, or.. settling down, and definitely not having kids with him anytime soon- although that just might happen against my will, the way he's been acting lately. I've kept up with the whole 'overly protective girlfriend' thing since we'd started dating, but I don't think that it's because I'm afraid of losing him.. I'm just afraid of losing the only person who actually loves me. (Although, someone else may, but- Ugh, never mind. I'm no good at this foreshadowing thing- you'll find out later.) Let's face it, when you're by yourself and no one likes you, things start to get to you- even if you're me. So I really don't want that to happen.
I snuggle closer to him, and I can feel his breath on the top of my head. Reassuring.
But I love this, even if I'm starting not to love him as much anymore. I love snuggling, although I'd say snuggling was for the weak to anyone but Beck. Yeah, I'm insincere about a lot of stuff. What do you expect? I'm Jade August West, not a fucking daffodil.
A cool thing about my name is that my initials are JAW, and I find that amusing because I've always loved the movie Jaws. It's so morbid and twisted that you just can't help but grin a dark smile while watching it, and my initials obviously prove that me and suspense movies were meant to be together, and I was destined from birth to do so. Believe it or not, my deepest, darkest secret that only Beck knew was that horror movies scare me. A lot. I make them to give off the impression that they satisfy me, but I'm.. I easily get nightmares, let's just say, and I talk-well, scream- in my sleep. It's unpleasant for both me and Beck, so we try not to watch any, even though he likes them.
We've been laying like this and my thoughts have just been wandering like a herd of lost cattle for a couple hours now, but I like it. I like how Beck and I can sit in a comfortable silence without it being awkward, and just let each other think about things. But of course, Beck has to ruin the silence as if he's reading my mind.
"Do you love me?"
Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Very un-Beck-ish. I spin around from where I am on his lap and look him in the eyes, to see if he's just saying that or if he wants some deep Dr. Phil answer from me. His brown eyes tell me nothing and I respond, almost automatically, "Yes." Almost instantaneously I feel this emotion in the pit of my stomach. I believe it's called guilt, but I don't feel it all that often so I'm not sure. I hate it, though. It's like I have an ulcer inside me and the acid in my stomach is eating away at it. My whole body burns with this foreign emotion and I turn around before Beck can ask me what's wrong.
I decide right there that we have time to kill before Vega's party, so I leap up from my seat, startling Beck, and dart over to his adorable little analogue TV. I swear, this thing is a dinosaur. It's literally a cube and it actually has antennae. The only things that should have antennae these days are cockroaches, which kind of makes me wonder why Tori doesn't have any. I open the drawer under the TV, the one Beck keeps his movies in, and I dig through them until I find the one I want. Through all this, Beck's asking me what I'm doing and repeating it over and over when I don't answer. If I was being normal Jade West, I would have shot him a snide response or a 'shut up'. But since I'm guilty, trying-to-change-the-subject Jade West, I ignore him. I pull the DVD I was looking for out and I wordlessly toss it over to Beck, who reads the title and looks at me like I've gone insane.
"Jade, really?"
I nod before I can give it a second thought, and Beck shrugs- he's probably thinking about ways to slip me a roofie or jump me with a tranquilizer so that he can take me to a specialist – but he doesn't question me. Instead, he just pulls the 'Little Mermaid' disc out of its case and pops it into the DVD player.
I sit myself down next to him and flinch away when he tries to put his arm around me. I'm still feeling really guilty about telling him I love him, and I honestly don't know why- I say it almost everyday like clockwork and here I am, flipping my chiz about it because I thought too hard. He gives me a look but doesn't ask, pleasantly surprising me. I don't know if I should put my arms on my lap or on his lap or if I should sit on them or if I should put them above my head, so I awkwardly just let them drop to my side. It's uncomfortable, but then again, so is this situation.
The movie has a good enough start to it that I don't puke at the beginning, and I'm actually enjoying this. The spacey little redhead that I'm seeing on the TV reminds me so much of Cat that I can't help but smile towards it. Beck sneaks a glance at me and smirks. I notice him looking at me and I snort, trying to look displeased. As usual, we both know I'm enjoying it.
The movie goes on and I realize I actually like it a lot, and that I'll probably 'borrow it forever' from Beck the next time I come here. I'm so distracted by the movie that I don't notice Beck's sneaky hand trail its way to over my shoulder, then slowly pivot until it was on my hip. But I do notice when his hand goes up my shirt, and I leap to my feet to glare at him.
"Beckett James Oliver!" I use his full name and my voice is unusually loud. "I told you not until I'm ready, so why can't you keep your hormonal little perv hands off me?" That was also a bit harsh.. even for my standards. I see him leap to his feet in turn.
"Jadelyn August West." He mocks me before assuming the tone that I had. "Why can't you control your stupid temper? You don't even have limits, do you?" I realize he's right but I still have my pride and I'm not going down without a fight.
Throughout all this, 'Part of your word' is being sung by the obviously retarded fish-lady who's wearing a sea shellbra. How inappropriate.
"I do have limits." I say, icy calm. "My limits are to abstain from letting you justhave your way with meand dump me like a- Like a piece of trash!" The sentence isn't true or well thought through, and I think that Beck wouldn't do that, but every other guy on earth would, so.. maybehe would, too. I'm not the best at thinking and arguing at the same time, okay? His expression is surprised. Wow, maybe I struck gold with that one, because he hasn't said anything for a whole five seconds! He just looks all concerned and suddenly that feeling that I hate is back, and this time it's like ice, freezing me stone cold. My muscles just lock when he softly says, "Is that really what you think I'd do?"
I don't respond, but I think that the floor is a very interesting thing to look at. I'm going to do that now.
"..whatever. It's 5:20 anyway, we should get going."
I reluctantly follow him to his pickup truck and he doesn't even open the passenger door for me like he normally does. Realizing I must have pissed him off, I stay silent while we drive to Tori's house. I want him to at least look like a normal person and not an angry, red-faced ogre when we get there. Not that I want to make Tori jealous or anything.. 'Cause I don't.
That would be stupid.
While we're driving, I look over at him in the rear-view mirror, and I see. I see the wavy, long black hair that I used to find so attractive, but now it just reminds me of labrador. The dark, olive-tanned skin that every girl loves, but now he just looks like he's about to puke in an eternal nausea. I see his crisp brown eyes, normally filled with calm emotions, but now brimming with anger and concern. My fault, clearly.
I can't remember the last time I looked at Beck and found him aesthetically appealing. I remember when we started dating, all I wanted to do was rip his shirt off and kiss him, but as time went by, I started to pay less and less attention tohimand how he looked, and more on those skanks that were oh-so-clearly having the hots for him and trying to take him away from me. I kick myself for those stupid fits of jealousy that were completely meaningless, and sneak another glance at him. He just looks sad. He always looks like that, though. I remember when I used to.
..This would be a great time for a flashback, but I'm not bothered. Long story short, Jadeyused to cut herself becausedaddyand mommyliked to hit her, and Beckyhelped Jadey get over it.
True chiz, though. Beck helped me get out of a grave that I had basically dug myself into. I hate talking about my emotions, it makes me feel like an attention whore. Like Tori. Who I hate. Hate with a passion, in fact. Glad it's over with, anyway. I feel a wave of appreciation take over me as I remembered that, but it's soon gone when I remember he just tried to have sex with me, after I said no for the thousandth time. It was annoying, you know? And scary, a bit scary. I get paranoid sometimes that he's just gonna get tired of being told no and do it anyways.. and that's a fight I know I wouldn't win.
"We're here." The car stops suddenly and I don't hesitate to jump out of the seat and dart over to the door, my black hair waving behind me like a flag. There's really loud pop music playing inside, I recognise Ginger Fox singing, but I'm not bothered to figure out the title of the song. I ring the doorbell and I hear the dandelion-ass dingdongsound that the stupid button makes. I also hear Beck's truck go honk After he locks it. He jogs over to me and he catches up just as the door opens to reveal a face that I could have gone all day without seeing. Her brown eyes look into my ocean teal ones and I almost freeze. I don't, though, but that stupid guilt is back again and it comes whenever I see her.
"Beck! ..Jade! Hi!" I wordlessly walk past Tori and into the house without another thought. I hear Beck apologising for my behaviour and I just laugh to myself. Like I said, he needs to grow a pair. I walk over to the kitchen counter where I know Tori put some food, and I shove a handful of chips in my mouth. Mm, salt n' vinegar. My favourite- If I were a chip, I'd be salt n' vinegar. I look at the other end of the counter and see two things that surprise me:
Two six packs of heavy beer, and
One bottle of cherry vodka.
I almost find it funny that 'little-miss-perfect' Tori Vega has beer in her house- and not the kind that pansies drink. This stuff is the real deal, alcoholic beyond belief and I can't wait to get my hands on it. I feel like I have a sweet tooth today, so I pick up the vodka bottle and look around the room. Tori had set up a bunch of tacky disco lights around the room, and one of those damn disco balls was revolving from the celling. Cat was standing directly under it, dancing like some kind of crazy stripper and the light was hitting her really cool, she kind of looked like she was sparkling. But to the main point: Cat was dancing like a stripper? Cat Valentine doesn't dance! And she doesn't dance sexually, either! Robbie and André are nearby and dancing like normal human beings, but now that I think about it, all three look pretty wasted.
I trudge on over to Cat like a responsible adult and yell over the music,
"Cat! Why are you dancing like a whore?" I don't even care if I just used bad language with the most innocent and ignorant person I know; she's so drunk she's probably not going to remember this by the morning, anyway.
"It's fun! Aaaahh!" She screams like a little kid, but at the same time she's not screaming- she's squealing.
"Cat, are you drunk?" I ask disapprovingly, preparing myself to drag her back home if she says yes.
"No!" No? She dances off, probably to go bother André and Robbie. Well, okay.. Cat's just being Cat, then. I look over and see Vega talking to Beck and my heart stops.
If that stupid loudmouth is bragging to him about how I kissed her at the last party she had, I'll beat the stupid out of her! I know what you're thinking. Shut up. I was drunk. I'm not gay, I love Beck.
I think.
I'm making my journey across the room now and as I'm going, Tori's eyes lock with mine and I'm distracted, hell, I almost trip on those stupid stairs that don't even belong in a living room. But I don't, and Beck walks away just as I get there. I shoot him an angry, suspicious glance before asking Tori:
"If you ever open your pie-hole about what happened to Beck, I will personally ruin you." Wait, when had I grabbed Tori by the collar? When had I pinned her to the wall? Well.. whatever. I got the message across, judging by the look on her face. I drop her in an uncaring fashion, and swagger my way over to Beck. Maybe a good make-out wouldget my mind off her.. I tap Beck's shoulder and he's not even done turning to face me before I smash my lips against his. He happily obliges, and I feel one of his hands cupping my face and the other one on the lower part of my hip. His tongue runs along the outside of my lips and I decide to tease a bit, biting his own lips instead of granting access. They taste like beer, and from the taste of it, it's the really heavy stuff. I can only imagine how hammered Beck is right now. We're up against the wall now with him pinning me and I honestly am enjoying this. I'm picturing Tori's face throughout this whole make out session and that's only making it even more heated. Beck's tongue has long ago forced its way into our mouth, I didn't complain. I imagine Tori's the one kissing me, Tori's lips, Tori's hair.. But I know it's Beck. It shouldbe Beck, because Beck is best. Though every time I open my eyes, I want to, expectto see her face, with her tanned skin and her brown eyes and her model-like, salon curls, but I don't. I see Becks boring black hair and his gross olive tinted skin and his cracked lips that kiss too hard and his rough hands that were now moving to pull off my bra, which had been unclasped long ago.
...Wait, what?
I shove him off of me and he lands on his butt with a painful-sounding thud. The music is blaring so loudly my ears hurt, but nothing is louder than Jade West's angry shout.
"We're over, you hormonal pig! Go find someone else to be your sex toy!" I scream at him, flinging my bra at his face(I didn't think that through) and grabbing my vodka, trudging off.
I walk into the Vega's guest bathroom and shut the door behind me, not bothered to turn on the light. It's a pretty small bathroom and everything's close together, but I can't care enough to feel claustrophobic right now. I sit down, straddling the edge of the bathtub, and pop the cork to the vodka. It goes flying with a satisfying sucking sound, hitting against something.
"Ow!" I hear, and only then do I decide that turning the light on is a good idea. I'm not sure if I was glad I did in the end, or if I regretted it. I flicked on the switch and looked at my roommate.
Tori Vega, sitting in a pool of her own blood. My eyes follow the trail from the floor to her thighs, where the blood is obviously pouring from and ohmygod she's not wearing pants. That's even more distracting then the fact that she's holding a razor blade in her hands.
"J-jade.." She fumbles, struggling to stop the bleeding in her legs before I jump up and eat her, which she obviously thinks that I'm going to do. I look at her eyes and realise that they're not looking at me, but.. Oh, I just remembered I'm still not wearing a bra.
"Like what you see, Vega?" She turns bright red and looks away, and it takes all I have within me not to laugh at her. I roll my eyes and just turn around the other way, facing the wall instead of a pantless brunette. She begins to speak again, because I obviously would love to hear her voice and didn't come into this bathroom to be alone. Nope.
"Jade, please don't.. I'm.." She's stumbling over her words worse than that guy in QWOP(that's a fun game, you should play it) and I can't help but chuckle half-heartedly at her awkward display.
"Save it, Tori. I don't really want to know. Besides, been there, done that." But in reality, my mind was reeling. Why would Tori cut herself? Did she have abusive parents, like me? Doubt it, her dad isa cop. Wait.. Beck told me that André told him that Tori told him that her dad had died a while ago- he had gotten hit by a train while chasing down some criminal guy.
Well, that makes sense then.
I hear a grunt in response, and I slowly turn around again to see Tori struggling to put her pants on. Amused, I take a swig of Vodka and the sweet substance rolls down my throat, but I keep my eyes on Tori.
"Jade," She starts, as if I totally just didn't walk in on her cutting gashes into her own thighs, "We need to talk about the kiss." Ugh, 'the kiss'? Why does the event have a name now?
"I don't even remember it, Vega. I was drunk." I spat, but I remembered everything- from smashing my lips to her own, to laying down in her bed with her and spending the night, spooned together. I also remembered not telling Beck, which was fun. Not. I realise all of a sudden that she's rambling about something or other, but all I can focus on is those lips moving, I want them moving against mine.. Ugh, I'm so perverted! But really, don't even get me started on her figure, her hair, her personality.. God, why was she so perfect? I looked at the ground, where her own blood was drying, and instantly thought different.
She was broken.
Well, I could help her. I could fix her, just like Beck fixed me. I know I can- but.. wait. What about Beck? I'm supposed to love him. We're the Hollywood Art's power couple, we can't just.. notbethat anymore? I have a reputation that has literally taken years to stack up, and I needed to take that seriously. If anything bad happened tonight, it would mark itself on my name forever. I wasn't sure if I wanted to take that risk, especially because Beck was still a possibility. I had no idea what kind of ground I stood on with him, though, and as I looked over at Tori, I realised that she's stopped talking. I also realised that I had been replying to her, because I caught myself as the word "No" came out of my mouth. It was long and drawn out and it took me about half a second to realise that Tori had just asked me weather I was drunk or not
Well, I sure sounded drunk. My conscience was telling me to Just fuck it, Beck only wanted you to get in your pants and she's no different. Get out of here.I get up, and I'm halfway to the door when I stop.
I look over into her deep brown eyes and decide right then and there that I'd already lost it all so now, I have nothing to lose anyway.
Next chapter will be in Tori's POV. Review or Trypophobica will become a child psychologist. (Read her stories… She's not fit to be around children.)
FlorMorada.