Antoine Malick loved his job. He was no flamboyant gay but a quietly confident one. When people asked him about what he did for a living he told them about Designer Duds with pride, the online store he co-founded with his former nemesis, one business savvy Serena Campbell. With a tiny team at hand, they sourced designer clothes and mended them to sell on at bargain prices, opening their space for highly valued customers to come and try reserved items. Italian designer shoes of all shapes and sizes were lovingly restored and sold at a sensible but not extravagant profit. Everybody loved 30% off. Scouring the racks and markets for vintage, they came across hoards of the good, the terrible and the downright fugly. No matter, there was enough room in the world for everyone's tastes to be accommodated.
They hired the first person that they interviewed. She admitted that she knew nothing about designer clothes but she knew how to set up a website (already done) and how to update it and keep up the maintenance (sorely needed). She was friendly enough, though reserved and mysterious and dressed mainly in sleek black and white ensembles (Malick coined the term arty chic) and she had little interest in the items themselves, although Serena caught her running her fingers among the fabrics a lot.
'It just feels so luxurious' she explained after Serena caught her with an inquisitive hand in a pile of velvet shawls.
'It's meant to. Why don't you try one on? You'd make a good model for some of these clothes.'
'I think I'd rather stick a fork in my eye. Sorry.'
They laughed about it and Serena told her that perhaps they would get more hits if they used her for scarves and hats at least. She had a long elegant neck they could put to good use. Or possibly shoes. Shoes needed legs attached and Bernie had a fine pair of them. Bernie blushed and hid behind that messy hair of hers.
'We'd give you a pay rise. You're getting one anyway for linking us up to social media.'
'You're the one sending out updates. I'm not good at catchy titles and witty captions.'
'Well I'd like us all to be featured on the Instagram page. It would be fun.'
Bernie promised to think about it. Serena had to be content with that.
But when Christmas started to approach, Serena doubled up on the request. 'I'm not going to make you pose in a Santa hat, I promise.'
Fleur bustled past with a mannequin that was nearly as tall as she was. For the petite range. They had mannequins in all shapes and sizes. Fleur Fanshawe was an expect photographer and shot people and animals doing all sorts of things. She had the most bizarre requests, she told the others. The latest was a boudoir photoshoot in the theme of the Playboy Mansion. They all cringed. Fleur ate the marshmallows off her stick suggestively. She was that kind of person. She was a vision of plus size pinup and always left lipstick marks on the coffee cups. Dominic Copeland, general dogsbody and expert parcel packer, always complained about it every time it was his turn to wash up.
'Shut up Doris' she said, slinging a packet of sweet chilli crisps at him. They crunched crisps together companionably as they all relaxed in the 'living room' they'd created. They brainstormed ideas and suggestions for themes and sales in there, social media pictures and captions, advertising strategies and audience. Bernie had never felt so much companionship in a job before.
'Welcome to the gay house' sang Dom as he opened the door to her the first time he met her.
'Dom! Hush yourself. Don't scare her off.'
Bernie noted the rainbow flag that her laptop was sat under and chuckled quietly. This lot were going to wheedle out her life story and she was equally dreading it and excited by it. She'd never been in an openly queer work space before and with once a month trips to the fun if not hipster gay club in the centre of town, this was certainly a novelty. It had taken half of her adult life to work out what was missing but she was still no closer to finding it. Her tentative foray into lesbian life had left her emotionally bruised but she hadn't given up quiet hope.
'I'm tough. It'll take a lot to scare me off.'
'The strong silent type, eh?' Fleur appraised her flirtatiously, flicked her hair.
'Down doggy. Behave' Serena reprimanded.
Fleur pouted. 'Well I've got to have some outlet seeing as you won't do me the favour of fancying me back.'
'Oh shut up you shameless lezza.'
'Shut it yourself, Doris.'
They carried on bickering while the more mature members of the group shook their heads in mock scolding. Bernie laughed, a delicious goose honk of a sound which stopped everyone in their tracks.
'My my. She speaks in tongues.'
Dom threw a packet of party rings at her head, caught her shoulder and before long, a flurry of sugar biscuit was in progress.
Bernie paid it little attention, trying to sneak a glance at Serena. She liked her short shaggy hair, the mischievous smile, hated those 80s print shirts but liked them on her. Todays was a red Chinese print. The other members of staff were clear cut but where did Serena stand in the rainbow? For a while now she'd been wanting to know. The woman was a flirt for sure. She flirted with the postman, the customers and their wives. The way she smoothed down collars and sleeves, adjusted hats and even helped someone roll her stockings on. Bernie observed it all from the sidelines, not realising that everyone had noticed too.
'Something tells me we've got a swooning sapphic on our hands' Malick noted. 'Serena's keeping her to heel.'
'Oh I can't wait for the next big gay night out' purred Fleur, trying on a feather boa. 'It's been such a long while since she's copped off with anyone. And my gaydar has been flaring with that one from the beginning.' She pointed to Bernie. 'She's been very reticent and restrained so far but I think we can tempt her with a hot date on Friday.' Dom agreed.
'A certified soft butch. Now, would Serena like that?'
'I don't see why not. You saw her ex-husband. Can't do worse than that.'
They all sniggered at the mention of Edward. Serena's biggest mistake.
'We'll get her going' promised Fleur.
'Which one?'
'Both of them.' She draped the boa over Malick and went off to finger some new silk shirts.
'Hurricane Fleur strikes again.' He raised an eyebrow.
Friday finally came round and off they trotted to the Sugar Lounge. Pussycat section on the left, Cockcrows section on the right and mingling in the middle. Serena was the only one who didn't stick to a side, hanging out wherever she wished. Bernie leaned back, tilted her head and watched her work the room, flirt her way round the population from the safety of her booth, not knowing that she was under Fleur's eagle eye.
'The butch is in the zone.'
Dom read the text and signalled across the room with his eyebrows. Fleur nodded. Bernie would later learn why Fleur always positioned herself at the back. She could survey everything and right now, she had direct confirmation that Bernie was secretly crushing on Serena. How Serena felt about it was a mystery.
The woman in question was currently a little tipsy and tapping the shoulder of a tall blonde woman. In the fog she had assumed it was Bernie. But she turned around and Serena felt stupid when she came face to face with someone who was definitely not Bernie.
'Sorry! I thought you were someone else.'
She didn't know how she'd mistaken her. This woman was of a completely different build and her eyes were blue. She got thrown by the blonde.
'Well I don't mind' the woman said. She'd looked startled at first but now she smiled.
'I'm somewhat flattered.'
They convened to the bar and after matching cocktails, established a rapport. Bernie covertly watched them, heart in her boots. She'd finished her drink and was resisting another. Forcing her gaze elsewhere, it alighted on the someone she wasn't prepared to see. She yelled and shot upright. Fleur's head whipped round and saw a rangy boyish brunette hovering on the edges scoping out the women in the middle. Fleur liked the look of her and leaned forward to tell Bernie to go get it or she would. Bernie turned to her in shock and told her that it was her ex. Fleur was delighted to have found a piece of Bernie's elusive past.
'Go and talk to her.'
Bernie shook her head but it was too late. Alex had spotted them and was walking over.
'Hi Bern.'
Bernie could feel the heat rising steadily up her collar and into her cheeks. She hated that this was her reaction to the woman who contributed to and witnessed the breakup of her marriage. It hadn't been Alex's fault that Bernie had fallen in love with her, she was even grateful to her for making her realise why marriage to Marcus didn't light her fire. But right now, she was mortified.
'Hi Alex.'
'I see you've found yourself a hottie' Alex said, winking at Fleur. Fleur half swooned.
'Well no actually she's my colleague.'
'You seem to have a habit of picking up colleagues.' Alex's tone was now edged with the tiniest amount of acid. Bernie was even more mortified because now she was certain that Fleur knew about Serena. Bernie knew it was fucked up to keep crushing on colleagues but she had no life and now everyone knew it.
'We are not together.' Her tone was colder than she'd meant it to be.
'Well you don't mind if I cop off with this one do you? Fleur Fanshawe, photographer and might I just say, you'd be a good subject to shoot.'
Bernie nodded goodbye to Alex and turned back. With no group to latch on to, she was feeling dangerously low again and didn't know what to do. While she sat there like a loner, she kept herself busy processing this strange feeling that had come over her. Seeing Alex again didn't fill her with yearning like it used to. Her heart had stopped aching over her. She would have celebrated but she was now mooning over someone else. Sometimes it was torture watching Serena flirt. She had a serious chance of pulling this one.
Serena already had, against the wall in the yard. She liked Caroline and the woman really knew how to snog someone's face off. That ex-husband of hers was a fool. But she wasn't a local and Serena was not up for a long distance relationship.
'You'll find someone great. You'll be a lady-killer, I promise you' Serena told her sincerely, fingering her shirt collar.
'If I lived around here I'd look you up. But I'm heading back to Harrogate tomorrow' explained Caroline regretfully.
Serena let go of her reluctantly. 'Go and snog as many women as you like while the night is young. Get a good introduction to your new lifestyle.'
Caroline smiled and walked back into the fray. Walking right past her and towards Serena was Bernie. Serena wished blondes would stop trying to fool her. Obviously, they were two different people. Not to be a granny but Serena found it difficult to see in this lighting. Which was part of the ambience. But not helpful this evening.
'Hi. Was I interrupting something?'
'Not at all. I just sent Caroline on her way to pick up as many women as she could. She needs a head start when she goes back home to ravish the women of Yorkshire.'
'I didn't realise you were such an educator' Bernie said, smiling a little. She wouldn't mind a lesson or five from Serena. As if reading her mind, Serena leaned forward and grabbed her collar. She was doing a lot of that today.
'Would you like a free starter session?'
Bernie whispered her assent. Serena looked too gorgeous to resist tonight and that low neckline was making her head spin. Serena leaned forward for a kiss and it was like the stars had realigned into perfect synchronicity. Bernie wrapped her arms around her and responded hungrily. It was heaven.
'You don't need a lesson do you?' Said Serena when they came up for air.
'I'd still like to get the most out of my free starter session' teased Bernie, eyes pleading for another kiss.
Serena gave her everything she had that night and didn't stop there. She questioned how she'd fallen so hard for such a woman as Bernie but only for a minute. Because every time Bernie looked at her, it erased the effects of every bad relationship, every less-than-satisfactory hook-up. The way they made each other feel invincible and desirable. Priceless. Bernie happily allowed herself to be featured on the site's Instagram after that.
The entire workforce at Designer Duds howled with laughter at their inevitable smushing together. Fleur chastised Serena for breaking her no workplace romance rule. Serena didn't care anymore, she felt so giddy she gave Caroline a big discount on a vintage jacket to celebrate her hooking up that night with a soft butch brunette by the name of Alex. Who had followed her up to Harrogate and was now playing happy families under her disapproving mother's eye. Serena knew that her own mother would have done the same so thank goodness she died long before her daughter's sapphic tastes had taken over.
'Next team outing, Pride!' Cheered Dom. He couldn't wait to get stuck into the electric blue glitter, he was going to flare with his sparkly cheekbones. Fleur was going to lose it down her cleavage to encourage all of the ogling, Malick was planning to smear it on his well-defined abs and Bernie and Serena thought that a dab on their collarbones was enough. They didn't need to wrap themselves in the rainbow flag to show their relationship. What they had was just right.
