Warning: Shameless self-insert, first person point of view, and obviously non-canon.

Why? Well to be honest, I've been dying to do a self-insert OC for the longest time now, but I never did it because I didn't have confidence in my writing skills.

Oh right, there is no outline (I do have notes) and no beta reader (unless one wants to volunteer) in this fanfiction. There is nothing wrong with me not having a beta reader; I just want to challenge myself. Unlike my previous and current works, I'm going in blind and everything is thought up on the spot whenever I have a breather from school or work. Like always, Chapter 1 sets the story in with the OC and a certain gap youkai.

Oh right, having no outline also means I'm still going to continue the story "Gensokyo Odyssey" since that's been outlined from start to finish. So this is also my first time doing two stories at once.

If you guys or gals remember me from "The Rise of the Tank" and wonder why did I stopped, then here's my reason: My old laptop's hard drive failed a long time ago (I forgot when, probably around a week or so after I uploaded chapter 10 of that tank fanfic) and it left me in such a shock that I completely stopped writing fanfic. I only got back in because one of my friends in the university who is a touhou fan was talking this one touhou fanfic about an M1 Abrams and how good it was (I didn't tell her that I was the one who wrote it). I was able to get out of my writer's block because of that. However, I will not continue "The Rise of the Tank" because I fear that the fanfic will never be the same if I just continue it without the original outline.

Moral of that small story above? Always invest in a external hard drive to keep your data safe. I'm sure that somewhere in an alternative universe, an alternative me is probably still writing that story.

Chapter 1

The library of the University I attend to is the tallest building in this city; there are 10 floors jammed pack with books dating back to the 1500s. This city itself isn't exactly a city, it can be called America's largest suburbs because there are nearly no tall buildings, just a lot of houses. It is a very fitting place for the song "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds because each house look all the same but with different colors. The second tallest building is actually a 7 story hotel that's connected to a convention center. The city itself is surrounded by a chain of mountains, it was as if the mountains were a giant snake wrapping itself around the city like it was her eggs. If you go over the mountains to the east, you would reach a lot of farmland, wineries, and ranches aka the middle of nowhere. If you go over the mountains to the northwest, you wound up in another big city next to the Pacific ocean. That other city is well known for having a large iconic orange suspension bridge where many people would jump off to commit suicide.

I sat at my study table in the 10th floor, doing what every sane college student would do; procrastinate because essays are boring. The Westminster Quarters aka the typical anime school bell song was heard playing from the university's church bells, it was finished off with 9 huge "dongs". The library's PA speakers went off, "Good evening students, it is now 9PM, the library will close for the public in 30 minutes. Students, please show your student ID cards to the campus police when they walk by you for extended study hours. Extended study hours will end by 1AM."

I got up from my seat and put my laptop and books in my backpack. I looked around, the tenth floor was nearly empty, except for a few perverts watching porn and hentai in the far corners, a librarian putting books away, two people playing an MMORPG, and four people studying.

I waited for the elevator, a cop tapped me from behind and asked, "Student ID?" Being the good guy I am, I showed him my ID: Nelson Tristan Ryugu, Student ID: 007XXXX, my mugshot showed a very dark brown, almost black haired 24 year old Japanese man with glasses. The cop nodded and grinned, "Stay safe, by the way, I love your initials!" the cop walked away laughing.

"Ha ha ha, very funny!" I yelled back.

"Shhh!"

My ancestors immigrated to America in the late 1800s due to family feuds and fought in Europe during World War Two. I am 100% Japanese, but I do not know any Japanese. In fact I probably know more Spanish than Japanese and that only includes counting 1-30 and "Hola, como esta?". I can proudly say that I am as Japanese as a California roll. My parents died in a terrorist attack in the east coast when I was in elementary school, so I moved to California to live with my grandparents from my mom's side, and when they died after my high school graduation, I inherited their house.

The parking garage is a 10 minute walk, walking outside of campus at this time isn't safe because there were reports of robbery, but walking inside campus grounds is safe thanks to the campus police. I stepped outside into the warm night, the path leading to the parking garage is actually surrounded by trees, in the daytime it looks very pretty because you feel like you're walking in a tunnel made out of trees, but at night? It's just scary.

Rustle rustle

The trees behind were rustling and there was no wind, I instantly look back and saw nothing. I started speed walking towards the garage, took the elevator to the 2nd floor and got into my silver 2001 Honda CR-V; it's a 39 year old SUV, in one more year it'll be illegal to have a gasoline car in America as everyone is making the move to jump to hydrogen and electric manual-driven and self-driving cars. Frankly it's annoying because I have to buy a new car soon when this one was doing it's duty for my family since new, plus I'm attached to this car just like any other American guy is attached to his car. By now it's fairly safe to said that I'm one of the 2000 people still driving a car with an combustion engine as a daily driver in the entire continent.

There was a piece of paper on the windshield, I grabbed it and read it, "Buy a electric car, you damn tree killer!". I shrug, added the university's phone number to the message, walked over to a police car, placed that paper on the car, and walked away with a smug smile.

I got back in my car, started her up, and the RPM jumps up to the high 8000s, I guess I have to wait til it drops to below 3000 before moving. The aftermarket navigation system started up, automatically connected to my smartphone via bluetooth 5.0, and said, "Welcome back NTR! It is 9:20PM and it's 82 degrees Fahrenheit."

There was a knock on the window, I looked and saw two girls, one in a brown dress and black hat, and another in a purple dress and white mob cap. The girl in the black spoke in Japanese, "Hi, we're studying abroad from Japan. I'm Renko Usami, and this is Maribel Hearn. We're looking for the library."

"English?" I asked. I only understood their names because Renko was pointing at herself and Maribel while talking, but it was clear that they are students.

Renko's eyes widen. Maribel placed her hand on Renko's shoulders and said in English, "library," she showed her student ID card.

I pointed at the tallest building in campus, they bowed and left.

Renko said in an embarrassed voice, "Ahaha, sorry about that Mary. I thought he was Japanese for a second."

Mary replied back, "He is, but he doesn't know any Japanese."

Renko's eyes were wide open, "Ehhh?!"

I watched them walk off and wished I knew what they were staying. By now the rpm dropped below 3000, so it's time to leave. Most students would take the light rail or bus because the student ID gave them free light rail and bus passes until graduation, but I was in a lazy mood today and paid 10 dollars to park my car in the parking garage. It was a 20 minute drive to get home, I parked the SUV in the driveway, got inside the house, took off my shoes and socks to walk around in my rubber slippers.

"Ara, ara~ good evening." A elegant voice said.

I said back, "Good evening stranger."

I walked into my bathroom, took off my glasses to wash my face, looked in the mirror and saw my lifeless brown eyes. I put on my glasses and my eyes were brimming with life again. Then my face paled, "Wait was there someone in house?" I thought to myself.

The bathroom door opened slowly as I peaked my head out into the living room. There were two ladies and a girl... dress in cosplay sitting on the couch watching the news. The lady in a pale pink dress saw me and waved. I waved back and shut the bathroom door.

"Dafuq?" I muttered to myself, I opened the door and stuck my head out into the living room. There were two ladies and a girl... dress in cosplay sitting on the couch watching the news. The lady with fox tails saw me and waved. I waved back and shut the bathroom door.

"Are my eyes, deceiving me?" I thought to myself, I opened the door and peaked my head out into the living room. There are STILL two ladies and a girl, dress in cosplay sitting on the couch watching the news. The adorable girl saw me and waved. I waved back and shut the bathroom door.

I instantly opened the door, walked out and said, "Who are you people?!"

The trio looked at me, there was something very odd about them and it wasn't the cosplay stuff; they looked otherworldly, more colorful than the average person, and they have a pointy chin like in those Japanese cartoons.

The blonde haired woman in the pale pink dress spoke up, "I'm Yukari Yakumo."

The woman with foxtails said, "Ran Yakumo."

The little girl raised her hand, "Chen!"

"My name is Nelson Ryugu, now why are you guys here?"

"I'm not a guy." Chen said with a confused look.

Yukari took out a fan from god knows where, used said fan to cover her mouth, her eyes narrowed, there was a tiny glint of light from one of her eyes as if she was scheming something, and said, "We're your father's illegitimate harem."

The last thing I saw before blacking out was Chen's confused look, Ran's paled faced, and Yukari folding her fan and revealing a shameless smug.

"Yukari, you can't say that!"

"Ara, ara~ Why so serious?"

"You're giving people the wrong ideas!"

"But I always wanted to say to a random outsider. fufufu~"

"God damn it Yukari!"

I heard voices and woke up, looked around, saw that I'm on my bed and those three people are still here. Ran's tail perk up and she turned around to face me, "I'm sorry for you to witness that, Yukari likes to put people in weird situations."

Yukari covered her mouth to hide her laughter, "I'm sorry for that, I'm actually here for a proposition."

I waved both my hands out, "Wait, before you start bombarding me with this, why are you here and how did you got in?"

"I'm here to make a proposition and your parents let me in."

"They're dead." I deadpanned.

"They're ghosts, watching your every move for the sake of your safety." Yukari looked at a empty space, "Isn't that right, Mr. and Mrs. Ryugu?"

Silence.

"Riiiggghhttt..." I said while rolling my eyes, I took my smartphone and was about to dial 911, until it turn off. I looked at the phone and noticed a finger sticking out of a small creepy purple portal thingy. I look at Yukari and noticed the same portal on where her right pointer finger would be. In less than five seconds I ran out the bedroom and into the living room, I look at the exit and saw another portal with Yukari leaning out. She looked me and smiled, "Hola~"

I started feeling dizzy and fell back, but someone caught me from behind and I instantly woke back up. "Yukari, don't do that! At this rate, you might give him a heart attack and we might end up in prison for murder." Judging from that voice, it was Ran.

Yukari stepped out of the portal and pouted, "Way to be a buzzkill." She looked at me, "Would you let us stay at your house while we travel around America? I'll reward you handsomely, enough money to pay off your tuition and then some!" She opened a portal next to me, "I'll also send you away to Gensokyo, to help you relax from all that stress from university life. Gensokyo is..." there was a brief pause, "a paradise for youkai."

Whatever rational thought I had was lost, all I could picture was BENJAMINS (Note: Slang for 100 USD because Benjamin Franklin's face is on the 100 dollar bills). The Benjamins instantly disappeared from my mind and I spoke up, "Wait that means I'll fail all my classes at the university!"

Yukari's portal that was next me to closed and she said, "No you won't."

"Yes I will." I replied back.

A portal opened underneath and above her, she fell through the bottom portal and it closed. A carbon copy of me fell from the top portal. The "me" in front of me pulled out a fan and covered "his" mouth, "No you won't~"

I choked on my own spit, the way this version of me is hold that fan and acting Yukari-like is disgusting.

Ran faced-palmed and shook her head, "Yukari..."

"Nelson" just smiled, then "he" fell through a portal and became Yukari again.

I took a deep breath, "Okay, okay, there are so many things I want to ask... I'll just start with one, why me?"

"Because you're a nobody, if I send you into Gensokyo and you get eaten by a youkai, I can keep this house!" Yukari said that with a smug look.

"Huh?!"

The room instantly grew colder as if a ghost got angry and Yukari just smiled, "I'm kidding, well about that getting eaten part." The room temperature returned back to normal.

"Well that's actually the truth" she thought to herself.

I asked again, "Other than the fact that I'm a nobody, why me?"

Yukari snatched my glasses off my face, "Your eyes are interesting, I never seen such lifeless eyes before, it's like looking at a dead fish at the supermarket." I can't see her clearly, but by judging her voice, she sounds sad, "Your parents and I feel sorry for you, at this rate, you'll go blind and at such a young age."

"I need those back, I can't see an inch in front of me!" I waved my hands around and felt something soft. I instantly know what that is, it's someone's chest, but it's not Yukari's since they felt much smaller.

I felt two hands putting my glasses back on, I look and clearly see that my arms were aiming at Yukari's chest, but it was in a portal. I quickly pulled my hands out of the portal and heard a voices, "Ayayayaya! A scoop!" The sounds of a camera was heard.

A very pissed off voice was heard, "GOD DAMN IT YUKARI! Spirit Sign: Fantasy Seal!"

"Thanks Yukari, this is a scoop of a lifetime!"

The same pissed off voice is heard, except it sounded like she was on the verge of crying, "AYA!"

The portal quickly disappeared before anything happened, Yukari burst into laughter and gave a thumbs up, "Good job, I'm proud of you."

She placed her arm around my shoulders, "Tell you what, that move you did was amazing, I'll let you take any one thing with you to Gensokyo."

"Anything?"

"Except for the house."

I pointed at Yukari, she had a brief expression of shock as if she was outsmarted, she covered her mouth with her hand, and let out a small chuckle, "And other people."

Well that ruined my plan. Then a light bulb popped up, I walked into the kitchen grabbed 10 packs of granilla bars, walked out. Yukari saw me and said, "I said one thing."

I just smiled, "Just watch this." I got my footwear on, walked out of the house and put the packs of granilla bars into my silver 2001 Honda CR-V, I ran back in and carried 4 packs of 35 water bottles, pillows, a bathrobe, a sleeping bag and placed those into the SUV. I walked into my bedroom, threw everything in my backpack out and stuff it with my laptop, smartphone, chargers, a flashlight, AA batteries, and a first aid kit. I proceeded to put those in my SUV. After awhile, the SUV was filled with the basic comforts.

I heard the sound of clapping, turned around and it was Yukari, "Smart boy, I didn't expect that." She snapped her fingers, my beloved SUV was the first to sink into the portal.

She looked at me, opened a portal next to me, and said, "Time for you to step in the gap, I hope your eyes heal in Gensokyo."

I walked into the gap and was surrounded by weird eyes everywhere, I felt myself going faster and faster, there was light at the end. I fell through the light and into the water. I flailed like an idiot in the lake, I couldn't swim, the last thing I saw on the surface was my SUV waiting for me on the shore. As I sank deeper into the lake, my vision started to darken, but there was something that look like a mermaid coming towards me; I blacked out.

To Be Continued

Notes:

Can you guess which touhou character is that at the very end? Before you start feeling sorry for me, just know that all of this is make-believe and I'm actually a normal nobody, none of this represents my life in any way or form except for the way the OC acts. I can only wish my name is Nelson Tristan Ryugu because having the initials "NTR" sounds gloriously scary.

Is the location I'm using for chapter 1 is real life location? No it's not, I actually just combined two cities together (more like 90% of city A and 10% of city B).