Bow down to your master
(Master!Ludwig x Servant!Feliciano AU)
Dear Signore Ludwig,
I have finally found the courage to write to you. Hopefully I got the address correct!
Anyway, I have sent you this to let you know that I am here… I am still at home, waiting for you. I haven't changed one bit, really, and I am most certain that you are waiting for the opportunity to return. But I respect the fact that work is more important than that, so I will continue to wait until the time comes.
You want me to smile, so I follow your commands. You want me to keep being the same old me, the Feliciano that loves pasta and siestas and singing and painting. I will willingly follow your requests until it is impossible for me to do so. But ever since you have taken me under your wing as your servant, the things you ask of me are growing more confusing. I have become your servant expecting you to tie me up and whip me when all you treat me with is affection. But even so, I am still satisfied because you are pleased with my obedience.
I like the feeling knowing that I am doing something right. It makes me happy, knowing that I am worth something, even if it is only to you, master Ludwig. Because all the other masters who were thinking of purchasing me said I was a piece of trash. I was too weak to be beaten, to weak to be used for their pleasures. But you have given me hope, you are a master that actually wants me…
And so I await your return. I know it is rude for me to ask something of you, but I would like to truly see what you had purchased me for. Even if it means that you no longer give me the affection I have been getting used to, I will still be happy. I live to please my master. I have never imagined myself with a purpose other than the one I was given.
You don't need to go through such efforts to make me happy, I truly think I do not deserve such affections from you. But if it is truly what you think I deserve, then I will most certainly accept it with open arms…
Feliciano Vargas
Dear Feliciano,
Please do not think of me as your master. Think of me as your friend. I have told you that I purchased you to save you from the torture you would have had to endure, I only lie about what I do to you just so I can keep you safe…
Because in truth, I have examined my feelings over the past few days in my study. And I have uncovered emotions I have never experienced before.
Feliciano, I love you….
Maybe it wasn't at first sight, but the moment I saw you, I had an urge to protect you. Your body looked so weak during our first meeting, it was clear you had been poorly fed and clothed. I had to save you from the others who only wanted to fulfill their sadistic desires. Every time you call me "master" I feel a tiny stab in the chest, knowing that I hadn't been able to reach your heart just yet. I was never able to tell you this in person and I'm truly sorry for that, please forgive me… but somehow, it seems much easier for me to write it on paper.
I will be home in a few days. We can continue to write until then.
Even though I do not call you my servant, I still have a request of you…. to draw me something in your next message to me. Your art is beautiful, and I feel privileged to have witnessed your talent.
I eagerly await the day when I see your smile again.
Ludwig Beilschmidt
Dear Ludwig,
I don't know what to say. I can imagine your voice confessing all of this to me, but I am unsure whether to embrace it or push it away. I am a servant, and you are my master… is that not what our relationship should be? If we are the exception, aren't others bound to discover it?
Either way, I will draw something for you, since it is what you have asked me to do, of course…
I'm sorry if you are disappointed in me. I wanted to portray you in a more refined way but you are always like this around me. At least now, I know why.
Thank you for telling me, I hope to someday return your feelings… if only I could understand what you are truly saying to me. What does it feel like to be in love, Ludwig? What does it feel like to not be a servant?
If only you would return home sooner. Then, you would have the chance to show me.
Feliciano Vargas
Dear Feliciano,
To not be a servant… Feliciano, you were never a servant in the first place. I'm sorry I made it seem that way.
You are free, Feliciano. You don't have to clean the house. I'm the neat freak, admittedly. Think about what you would want to do instead of working for me. You could draw or paint more, you could cook and sing and dance all the time and take as many siestas as you want. I'd even take those siestas with you, if you really wanted.
You'll be so much happier now that you are free, I promise you. And I have good news- I'll be coming home tomorrow.
By the way, your drawing made me happy… I guess that really is how you see me, huh?
Ludwig Beilschmidt
Dear Ludwig,
You probably won't be receiving this message, since you're coming home. I'm looking forward to seeing you, I really want you to show me what it's like to be free-
"Feliciano!"
A voice rang out through the halls of the estate. He quickly rushed downstairs after hearing the voice- the same one he had heard every time Ludwig wanted him to perform a task. "Sì signore—!" Feliciano called back, obediently standing up straight before Ludwig. It was like a reflex.
"No. Stop it, Feliciano, remember what I told you, I am not your master…Relax your shoulders, please," Ludwig requested, gently patting Feliciano's back as he motioned him to come closer.
Feliciano obeyed, he was still under the mindset that he was the lesser one and Ludwig was his superior.
"Damn it, Feliciano, stop acting this way—-" Ludwig was immediately interrupted by a hug from Feliciano.
"Sì signore!" Feliciano shouted quickly, not knowing if this was what Ludwig meant by his words. Ludwig could only awkwardly hug back, Feliciano was only obeying. He had to show Feliciano that he was free!
"Feliciano, please calm down-"
"I will do anything you say, signore!"
"Remember my letter to you, Feliciano? Can you even recall a word I wrote to you?" Ludwig was getting desperate at this point. He held Feliciano close and gently petted his soft cheeks with the tips of his own fingers.
"You told me…. that I was free, signore. And that you would explain to me what it meant," Feliciano stated plainly.
"Ja," Ludwig nodded in affirmation as he took off Feliciano's servant cap. "You don't need this anymore, first off," he said with a soft smile. "And you don't need to clean up that mess in the kitchen." Ludwig seemed to smell a mess from a mile away.
"I don't? But then you will get mad at me if I don't…." Feliciano said ashamedly, hiding his face in Ludwig's coat.
"I won't get mad at you, Feliciano. If it makes you feel better, we can clean up the mess together," Ludwig offered, speaking in a soothing voice as he petted Feliciano's head. He still wondered what that curl did, he always thought it did something strange…. but he was very afraid to find out, so he avoided it as much as possible.
For the first time, Feliciano smiled genuinely. But Ludwig couldn't see it.
"When you're free, you can take as many siestas as you want," Ludwig explained, sliding his jacket off to show that Feliciano was allowed to do the same- make a mess without getting in trouble.
"But I—-"
"No buts, Feliciano. Tell me… have you been living in fear of me this whole time…?"
Feliciano's eyes widened with slight fear and worry, knowing it was true. But Ludwig could smell a lie from a mile away almost as well as he could with a mess.
"Sì, signo—- I mean, Ludwig."
"Danke. Now what would you like to do? I'm giving you the choice this time. Siesta, or clean up the mess?" Ludwig decided to let Feliciano decide, just to prove that he was free to make decisions.
"I would choose to clean, but you want me to be free, right?" Feliciano was confused at what Ludwig was asking.
"You can choose whatever you want, that's the point." Ludwig chuckled a little bit and looked into Feliciano's bright amber eyes.
"Okay, let's take a siesta then!" Feliciano exclaimed. Finally, he would discover what it was like to be free…
"Veh, Ludwig, you're so warm…." Feliciano remarked as he cuddled up closer to Ludwig in the giant, king-size bed. Ludwig was blushing heavily, he never knew the Italian actually slept naked…
"Uh… you are too, I suppose-" Ludwig's awkward compliment was interrupted by a giggle from Feliciano.
"Ah, Ludwig, I wanted to tell you something," Feliciano said, his voice suggesting determination. Ludwig knew Feliciano had finally discovered who he was truly supposed to be.
"I understand everything now… grazie…" he admitted shyly. "I think I finally realized who you are, Ludwig."
W-who I am…? Feliciano, what are you saying-
"I realized that… well I love you too…. I thought about it for a while and I wondered why I never accepted your affection… why I was afraid of you. I didn't understand what you truly meant to do, to protect me…. and I hope you can continue to do the same…"
Ludwig's heart began beating quickly as he heard those words. He gently, quietly pulled Feliciano into a warm embrace.
"For sure, Feliciano. I promise."
Feliciano smiled as he and Ludwig slowly drifted off to sleep.
OMAKE
Kiku slowly walked through the door, noticing the silence of the house. Something about the atmosphere seemed a little off. He could smell spices and such in the kitchen. Maybe Feliciano-kun forgot to clean it up? Kiku thought.
Ah, well… I guess it will be the butler's job this time… he sighed in annoyance as he leaned over to pick up pieces of onion on the ground. Just then, he heard some chuckling from the bedroom upstairs.
"Hahaha! Ludwig, stop, that tickles!"
M-maybe it's best I don't disturb them… Kiku went back to awkwardly cleaning the kitchen again, trying his hardest to ignore the laughter upstairs…
END