Hi, people! This is my first xxxHolic fic, and I must say I'm rather proud of it. Sniffle, it's time for my baby to go out and see the world! (breaks down into tears) Any way, I used to be Thief of Black Winged Hearts, but someone found out my username who I kinda didn't want to, so I changed it. Because I'm evil, and it will throw him off my trail. Plus, I kind of get a little flak about how long my name is, so now it's shorter and you can leave me alone, people! God!
Anyway, don't own any of this, Clamp does, yadda yadda yadda. This one's for you, rukiachan15! Cause you are the only one who betas my insufferable ideas. And I yours, though yours are generally better than mine. Have fun with this fic, people!
The Butterfly Effect
Watanuki sighed, looking up at the night sky from the room's window. The stars were bright tonight, and the almost full moon was rising slowly above the tree tops. The moon sure was bright tonight. The stars were shining with unusual splendor, and seemed to wink gently at him to Watanuki's half-lidded mismatched eyes. Moving his hair aside, Watanuki gently touched the skin just above his brown eye, recalling the reason it was there. Stupid Domeki had to go and do something stupid, as per usual. Argh, that baka made him so mad! Still, a small part of Watanuki was touched that Domeki had made the sacrifice of half his eye so he could see again. Not that he liked him or anything, but he didn't begrudge the fact that Domeki had sacrificed something for him.
Watanuki lay back in the bed that was not his, his bandages rubbing against the softness of the sheets, thinking about all the people who had sacrificed something for his today. When he had awoken in Yuko's bed after falling from the building, he had been disoriented and confused about why he was still alive. For some reason, the fact of his current existence gave him a feeling of discontent, like something had been attempted and had failed. Watanuki had scoffed at himself, it wasn't like he had tried to fall through a window. He wasn't suicidal. But it had taken him a full minute to come to his senses and dispel that small feeling of unforefillment. Upon asking Yuko why the heck he was still alive, she had smirked at him and told him that three special people had paid the price to save his life. At that point he had gotten exceptionally angry and demanded to know who they were and what they paid. Yuko said that Himawari and Domeki had paid, but she did not tell him who the third person what or what had been paid by any of them. She then spouted something about customer confidentiality, and he had almost gone into a murderous rampage at the thought of Himawari being caught in Yuko's "evil clutches".
Now, Watanuki was lying in Yuko's bed, thinking about his life and how currently messed up it was. Oh, but Watanuki could trace his life back to the moment his life took a turn for the worse. Or better, or crazy, depending on how you looked at it. It was the moment Watanuki had stepped into Yuko's shop. From that moment on, Watanuki had been swept into a fate he had never asked for, but Yuko claimed to be predestined. To be hitzusen. Not that he was complaining. Just that day he had caught himself wishing (for what seemed the thousandth time) that he didn't have to see spirits. Watanuki wanted, above all other things, to be normal. But now, he found himself thinking about what it would be like without Yuko and the shop in his life. And the more he thought about it, the more he wondered what his life would be without it. When the time came, would he even be able to take his wish and go? Spirits weren't so bad if he had Yuko and the rest to help him deal with them.
So the question remained. What did he really want? Not so long ago, the answer would have come to him without a second of thought. What was making him doubt his choice now? Was it the fact that he had almost died yesterday. Was it because he had finally met people he wanted to be with? Watanuki owed all his friendships to Yuko and his ability to see spirits. Watanuki groaned, laying a hand in front of his eyes and pressing it to his forehead. Why was he being so indecisive? This was what he wanted, wasn't it? Or did he want something different after all? Watanuki gritted his teeth, feeling unsure of himself.
"Is there something on your mind, my dear Watanuki?" a voice purred. Watanuki groaned. Sultry, yet sarcastic and dry. It could only mean one person.
"Nothing's wrong, Yuko," Watanuki replied, removing the hand from his face and opening his eyes to find Yuko right in his face, staring at him. How she got there without him hearing, Watanuki didn't know. He jumped back a little, scrambling against the headboard as Yuko sat delicately on the edge of her enormous bed. She was dressed in a simple night gown, which flowed around her like rippling water. Watanuki was surprised to find himself thinking it suited her. Which it did, but he'd never really noticed Yuko's outfit like that before. Of course Yuko, completely at ease leaned back to rest on her side, with one hand propping up her head. Her half-closed eyes looked at him, and a smirk graced her lips. Watanuki winced, knowing that look. It was Yuko's "Watanuki you are so stupid" look.
"Oh my dear, slow, thoughtless Watanuki," said Yuko languidly, stretching out to laze across the bed, apparently thinking that propping up her head was too much effort. "I never asked if something was troubling you. I merely enquired if there was something on your mind." Watanuki gritted his teeth again when he realized that this was indeed true. Yuko was just like that to box him in with words that way. It fit her style exactly. As if hearing his thoughts, Yuko smirked condescendingly, looking at him with seemingly uncaring eyes. "So, what's wrong?"
Watanuki blinked, not expecting such a blunt appeal from the shopkeeper. Usually some form of witticism would be attached to a question like that, usually about Domeki and Himawari. Then, he actually thought about how he would answer. "I guess," he replied hesitantly, looking almost shyly into Yuko's eyes, "I'm feeling unsure about a lot of things right now. Especially my reason for being here," he said, waving a bandaged hand in a gesture indicating that by "here", he meant the shop.
Yuko was silent for a moment, her gaze wandering until her eyes found the moon and the sky around it, as seen through the window. "The moon is pretty tonight, don't you think, Watanuki?"
"What does that have to do with anything I just said?" Watanuki yelled, exasperated. Moving with a speed that belied her usual rate of movement, Yuko was suddenly sitting next to Watanuki, leaning over him with a single long finger pressed against his lips. This effectively silenced Watanuki, and in a moment suddenly filled with electricity a dusting of blush colored the boy's cheeks. Then Yuko turned away, moving to sit beside him and removing her finger from Watanuki's lips. She returned to gazing at the moon, seeming to contemplate something. Watanuki, having taken a clue from her earlier display kept his silence. Yuko always got to things in her own time anyway.
"There is a theory, in the world of humans," she began slowly, absentmindedly twirling her hair with one finger, "That all things are interconnected. That one thing that happens someplace can start a chain reaction that affects something elsewhere, indirectly."
Watanuki nodded. "Yes, the Butterfly Effect. We learned about that in school," he told her, but had a funny feeling that she had already known. Yuko had a knack for knowing thins about him before he even told her.
"Yes, the Butterfly Effect. Exactly," she confirmed his statement, looking down from the moon to gaze into Watanuki's eyes directly. Yuko's eyes were distant, remote, unchanging…and yet somehow mesmerizing. She continued, "The belief that every action, no matter how small, affects something somewhere else. That a single stone creates ripples in an ocean that can cause a tsunami across the globe. That the beat of a butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane." She paused, leaning close so that her lips almost touched Watanuki's ear. For reason's unknown Watanuki fought back a shiver, suddenly feeling as though someone had trailed warm fingers downs his spine. Exhaling slightly, Yuko closed her eyes and said softly, "You, Watanuki, are my butterfly." There was a silence where Watanuki froze, not even breathing as he tried to figure out what Yuko meant. Yuko exhaled in a little sigh, tickling Watanuki's ear, then pulled back and simply looked on as Watanuki puzzled his way through her statement. Still thinking, Watanuki met Yuko's gaze.
"Can you tell me what that means?" he asked, knowing that she probably wouldn't tell him. Yuko rarely divulged information once she made a statement such as this, instead opting to have Watanuki puzzle it through himself. Yuko gave a low chuckle.
"I think you already know the answer to that, my dear Watanuki," she said still laughing, even if her eyes weren't laughing at all. The silence stretched as Watanuki thought, and Yuko waited for him to decipher her statement. Finally, he spoke.
"Do you mean," asked Watanuki hesitantly, unsure if he was right or wrong, "That I'm causing a change, somewhere? That I've started some sort of…chain reaction?" Yuko remained silent, so Watanuki plowed along with voicing his theory. "So my being here in the shop…is affecting someone, or something? Or are you my butterfly instead for sending me out to do all these things?" He waited, hoping for Yuko to at least tell him if he was right or wrong. As their eyes locked, the moment stretched, and Yuko's lips pulled into a sadistic smile.
"I can't tell you," she said simply, causing Watanuki to fall backwards, banging his head on the bed's headboard.
"Why ever not?" he yelled, almost yanking his hair out with frustration. Yuko watched him calmly as he yanked on his hair.
"Because if I did, I'd be going past my limits as a meddler," Yuko calmly stated, the smile fading unnoticed from her lips. Watanuki grumbled to himself, angry because he hadn't gotten a clear answer.
"What does happen when you pass your limits as a meddler?" Watanuki grumbled, muttering under his breath. What he least expected from Yuko was a straight answer.
"Why, I'd die, of course," Yuko said, as calmly as if she was telling him the weather. Watanuki's eyes widened, turning his head in surprise to look at Yuko. She was looking straight at him, speaking of her own death like it was the answer to a question in class. Thought no sound passed Watanuki's lips, his mouth formed a silent "what?". Yuko's gaze returned to the moon as she gave her explanation, one hand trailing idly across the bed covers. "We meddlers are bound, by the universe itself, to never do more than a person could achieve on their own. Sometimes, a thing might be rather difficult for a person to do, but if it is possible I am allowed to interfere and grant that person's wish."
"For a price," Watanuki interjected, thinking of all the people, including himself, who'd had to pay Yuko something to get what they wanted.
"For a price," Yuko agreed. "However, if it is something that is impossible for a person to do, then I am not allowed to interfere, and hitsuzen will not lead that person to my shop. That's why my customers are always able to some way pay their price. If they couldn't they wouldn't be there. It is likewise with information. If it is something not possible for a person to know, then I cannot say it. There are other, more finite rules that govern what I do, but that is the basic mechanics of it."
Watanuki paused. "So, if break those rules, you die?" he asked, unable to believe that the death of someone like Yuko could be caused so easily.
Yuko nodded. "Without exception," she said solemnly. Suddenly, her face lifted into a Cheshire cat-like grin. "And now, for your payment!" she exclaimed, doing a little shimmy of excitement.
"Aaaaaargh!" Watanuki groaned, smacking his head for falling into Yuko's trap. It was just another day with Yuko if you were being tricked into owing something to her. After all, she never did anything for free. And now, Watanuki could probably guess the reason why. He heaved a sigh, controlling his temper. "Fine, what do you want?" he asked, thinking she was just going to take it off his tab as usual. Instead, he felt something snuggle up beside him underneath the covers. "I'd like to spend the night here. You have no idea how un-comfy the futon is," she said, snuggling into the warmth as Watanuki stayed frozen in shock. And before he could make one sound of protest, she was fast asleep.
Watanuki breathed out the breath he had taken, letting himself relax into the covers with the sleeping woman at his side. It wasn't like he could go anywhere without waking her, and besides he…didn't want to. Gazing down at her, Watanuki thought about what kind of person would take on a profession where a wrong move meant death, all to try and help other people. It must take a lot of strength. And kindness. Maybe, Yuko wasn't as heartless as she pretended to be. Looking at her sleep, Watanuki realized how fragile she looked. As fragile and beautiful as a butterfly's wing. Watanuki chuckled softly, Yuko's personal symbol was more fitting than he ever realized. Perhaps the god of this shop was a human deep down after all. Yuko stirred, and Watanuki froze, fearing that he had woken her. Instead of waking, she snuggled him closer, and muttered with a breath that was almost a sigh, "Your butterfly…I like to hear you call me that, Watanuki." A murmur that came from the edge of dreams. Watanuki smiled softly at her sleeping form, realized that Yuko had answered his question after all. Gently laying an arm around her sleeping form, Watanuki realized his goddess was indeed quite human after all.
This is one of the best fics I've written in a long timw, besides Sniffles. Please review, I like to get feedback on the things I think are awesome, just in case they totally aren't, and no one wants to tell me.