A/N: This is my return to the world of fanfic after a long hiatus, so I might be a little rusty. Please and thank you for any constructive criticism!

A/N: This is quite possibly one of the weirdest fics I've ever written, one of those you write just to get it out of your head! You all know what I'm talking about!

Standard Disclaimer: All Kim Possible characters are the intellectual property of the Walt Disney Company. All characters from The Office are the intellectual property of NBC Universal.

Without Further Ado:

Kim Possible and the Rise of Beetroot

By

James Doyle

Chapter One: The Heist

"We're being watched," said Dwight Schrute, flatly.

"You're being paranoid," replied Jim Halpert, not looking up from his work.

"I'm not being paranoid, I'm keeping my guard up. There's a difference."

Jim looked up at Dwight and scowled. "Yes, Dwight, there is a difference. Noticing when someone is about to take out the entire office with an AK-47 is having your guard up. Assuming some random car sitting out on the street has any interest in a small-time office supply company is being paranoid."

"You mock me, but that car has been sitting there for the past six hours."

Jim leaned forward and looked Dwight in the eye. "Maybe he's waiting for someone. Maybe he's an undercover cop. Maybe he just got kicked out of his apartment and doesn't have anywhere else to go. Maybe he's trying to pick up a hooker, in which case, he's in the wrong part of town. I don't know, and I really don't care. What I do know is, it's been a really long night, and I just want to get my work done so I can go home and go to bed. Understood?"

"Fine," growled Dwight. "But if something terrible happens here tonight, you'll be to blame."

Meanwhile, the occupant of the vehicle in question observed the Dunder Mifflin offices with binoculars. She detected movement, which dashed any hope that the occupants had merely left the lights on. The presence of several cars in the parking lot reinforced this conclusion. She looked at the clock on the dashboard. Twenty minutes to midnight, and the occupants showed no signs of leaving.

"Dammit," the mysterious woman growled to herself. "He said for sure they'd be out of there by ten. Screw it, I'm going in!"

"Jim," whispered Dwight, poking his head out of the conference room. "Whoever's in that car just got out. I think he's headed around the back. And I think his hands are glowing,"

"Dwight," said Jim flatly, looking up from his work at Dwight.

"Yes, Jim."

"You've had enough coffee for the evening. Go make a preemptive visit to the men's room, sit down at your desk, and do not get up again until your work is finished. We've still got a lot to do."

"Yes, sir," grumbled Dwight.

The mysterious woman skillfully scaled the brick facade of the building, lest climbing the fire escape attract unwanted attention. Once upon the roof, she crawled on her belly, examining the interior of the building with an X-Ray scanner. She carved a piece of out of the roof with a laser pen. She then carefully removed the suspended ceiling panel below it, and dropped quickly but silently to the floor below, having already deactivated the motion sensors remotely.

The woman crept silently through the empty offices of Vance Refrigeration. After a few minutes of searching, she found the only place in the suite secure enough to hold something as valuable as the McGuffin Element: A secure walk-in refrigeration unit, designed for temperature-controlled experiments.

She scanned entered the code she'd been given, and donned the goggles that allowed her to fake the retinal eye scan. She slid the door open, only to find that her plan had been foiled yet again.

"Hi there, Shego. We've been expecting you," said a parka-clad Kim Possible, accompanied by a shivering Ron Stoppable, clad in his normal mission attire.

"It's a little chilly in here," commented Shego, with her trademark sly half-smile.

"Ya think?" barked Ron, his teeth chattering.

"But I'd be happy to heat things up," growled Shego as she ignited her green flames.

Kim delivered a roundhouse kick which sent Shego flying clear across the room. She tossed the McGuffin Element to Ron, who dropped down to the floor and began crawling toward the exit. He was about ten feet from the door when Shego picked him up by the back of his shirt.

"Going somewhere?" she quipped sarcastically.

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty cold. I was gonna go next door and get some coffee," replied Ron with his normal fake nonchalance.

Before Shego could snatch the element, Kim knocked Ron out of her grasp with a flying tackle. Shego and Kim began doing somersaults over one another to get the upper hand, until they tumbled right through the weak plaster that comprised Scranton Business Park's non-load-bearing walls.

Kim and Shego found themselves in the office next door, behind the secretary's desk, where a confused and scared Pam Beasly looked down upon them. Shego heard a door opening out in the hallway, and instinctively jumped over the desk, flung the door open, and seized Ron Stoppable. She seized the McGuffin Element from his bag, and shoved him aside. Kim tried to attack from behind, but Shego detected her, and came about. A trading of blows ensued.

"What the hell is going on out here?" demanded Michael Scott as he emerged from his office. "Wow, and who are the babes?" he added as he eyes widened like those of a deer in the headlights.

"I'm Kim Possible," grunted Kim, not letting up from her attack. "And this is Shego."

"Shego?" asked Michael. "Do you have a brother named Hego?"

"Yeah, I do. What of it?" replied Shego, still trading blows with Kim.

"And maybe a couple of twins named Wego?" added Michael.

"Okay, dude, you're starting to creep me out."

"Of course, if you were Italian, you'd be Dago!" chuckled Michael, particularly proud of that last pun.

Shego got the upper hand, and tossed Kim across the room, where she landed at the feet of Kelly Kapoor.

Shego turned to face Michael. "That sounded suspiciously like a racial slur!" growled Shego as her hands took on a blinding glow.

Talking Head Interview: Shego:

"Bigotry has nothing to do with villainy, okay? It's just stupid! It serves no constructive purpose, and it has no place in an evil regime. A true villain oppresses all people equally, regardless of race, creed, color, gender, or sexual orientation. When I rule the world, you can damn-well bet the bigots will be the first to go."

Shego was just about to vaporize Michael when Dwight dove in front of him, absorbing the energy blast. All of the office workers stood up and gazed catatonically at the spot where Dwight had stood a moment ago (all except Stanley, who had not once looked up from his work throughout the whole ordeal.) To their greater shock, Dwight stood up, apparently unharmed.

"Ooh! I'm a hottie, and you can take heat!" said Shego with a grin more naughty than evil. "What's your handle, babe?"

"The name's Dwight Schrute, and you've chosen the wrong office to beseige!" replied Dwight, as he breathed heavily and gritted his teeth.

Shego rolled her eyes. "I see you've got the corny hero dialog down already."

"Enough," shouted Dwight. "Let's end this once and for all!"

With that, Dwight lunged forward into Shego. He attempted this several times. The first few times, she easily dispatched him with an energy blast. The final blast, however, did not faze him at all, and he was able to take hold of her hands. They wrestled for a spell atop Jim and Dwight's desk, before Dwight sent Shego flying through the ceiling with a swift kick to the solar plexis.

Dwight jumped up through the ceiling and landed on his feet. There, Shego attempted to dispatch him with a larger energy blast. He lost his footing for a moment, then regained it and charged at Shego, with whom he met and began to trade blows. He finally managed to grab hold of her bag, which he tossed into the hole in the roof he made.

"I believe your mission is a failure. Good day to you, Miss Shego," said Dwight coldly as he delivered the Coupe de Grace in the form of a roundhouse kick, sending Shego flying off the edge of the roof.

Dwight returned to the office to find Kim and Ron standing guard over a crowd of frightened office workers (all except Stanley, who had never left his desk or looked up from his work.) Dwight picked up Shego's bag and handed it to Kim.

"I can't thank enough for your help, Mr. Schrute," said Kim.

"I consider it my duty, Miss Possible. Now I would suggest you transport this item to a more secure location. It's obviously too valuable to be held at Vance Refrigeration."

"Agreed," replied Kim as she and Ron made for the fire escape.

After the police had taken statements, Michael Scott decided to conclude the night's business. Jim and Pam brought up the rear as they escorted one another to their cars."

"That has got to be the most intense thing I've ever seen," said Pam.

"Tell me about it," replied Jim. "And just what was up with Dwight?"

"Hmm. He's always bragging about what a skilled fighter he is. I guess it's actually true."

"Yeah, but there was something more than that going on. Did you notice that red glow in his eyes?"

Pam stopped and pondered for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I did notice that. I thought I was hallucinating or something."

"No way. That was as real as it gets. There's something more than meets the eye going on with our Dwight."

End of Chapter One. More to come soon!