"Drift"
Continuity- A generic G1 continuity, wherever you'd like.
I am many things.
I am a healer and I am a killer.
I am determined, wholly driven to do my job, fulfill my duty…and yet, I could honestly care less.
I want everyone to do better, I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them and tell them to stop giving half of themselves and just give their all.
No, that isn't true- I want them to tone it down, I want them to relax, to not worry about every little detail, I want…to…
I don't know what I want.
"DEFENSOR!" screamed Prowl. "What are you doing?"
"Stupid gestalt confused! Not need him anyway. Got DINOBOTS!"
Grimlock answered Prowl's question and charged forth with a battle cry. Predictably, his four subordinates emulated their commander's action with gusto and soon five bulky Autobots, all primarily gray in color, were leaping into the fray. Prowl sighed, a reaction so commonplace to him now that it felt almost like a cliché.
Across the field of battle, the Stunticons formed-up around Motormaster and a scant ten seconds later, the terrifying visage of Menasor loomed over the combat zone.
Normally Prowl would have felt reassured knowing Defensor was on the scene. But at the moment, the amalgamation of the five Protectobots seemed like a helpless human child- cowed, stymied, halted in his tracks by a reason or reasons unknown.
A bit of occasional sluggishness was common, certainly expected in most combiners, but Defensor usually didn't display the handicaps that plagued his fellow Autobot gestalt Superion and the Decepticons' Devastator, Bruticus, and Menasor.
No, something was definitely amiss today, and Prowl knew the true problem lie not in Defensor's physical components, but in the giant Protectobot's patchwork mindscape.
Prowl just hoped that whatever was wrong, Hotspot and the others could sort it out before it was too late…
Why are you doing this? Why now?
Because he can't take anymore. Because he needs to stop.
Needs to stop? We're in the middle of a battle- this is NOT the time to be a whiny little pacifist!
You don't understand. You never will.
What's to understand, you gutless wimp? And YOU, YOU'RE helping him! You're siding with him!
We aren't wrong to feel the way we do.
The timing could be a little better though.
Agreed. I know how you two feel, but I can't have this now. Not when the others are depending on us.
If not now, when? When will it end? It only ends when someone decides to make it end. And I'm deciding that now.
YOU GLITCH-RIDDEN SON OF A SCRAPLET!
Enough. Calm down. You aren't helping.
So to hold to your ideals, you'll condemn us to die? You'll condemn our friends and comrades to die?
I…just want it to-
I'm sorry, but they are right. My oath is to save lives. No matter my personal feelings, I'll have failed in that oath if we stop fighting now.
Please…I'm not strong enough to do this without you.
I'm your friend. I said I'd support you. But not like this.
Four-to-one, rust-brain. You can't drag us down alone.
Shut your mouth and focus.
I don't want to do this anymore. Please don't make me…
I am sincerely sorry, but this is the last word on the matter for the time being.
A thunderous blow to Menasor's chest plate signaled the return of Defensor to the battlefield. As the Dinobots began to rout the enemy anew, Prowl turned his gaze upward to Defensor's troubled countenance.
"Are you alright?"
"No. Part of me wants to die."