Authors Note:
Inspiration taken from a wonderful liitle fic called "so put another dime in the jukebox, baby" formed by strangesmallbard (previously Merida's-Hair) which you can read here u/2040967/ (which I highly encourage everyone to do, it's amazing!)
Soooo… Hello one and all! This is my first EVER fanfiction (scary stuff) so please be nice!
Although criticism is of course welcomed as long as it is of the constructive kind. Let me know if you love it, hate it, whatever, but don't be a stranger, your opinions can only make me a better writer and therefore this a better fanfiction!
Also, this first chapter is pretty grim in tone/subject matter. I swear it won't all be like this! I'll try to update as often as possible but with University starting back soon I make no promises. I really have picked a wonderful time to start writing…
Ahh well!
Enjoy!
"Stop, Stop STOP!"
Aurora winced slightly at the piercing voice that managed to cut through the sound of Phillip's latest attempt at a guitar solo that currently wailied through the amp.
"God damn it people, you really think that sounded good enough? Anywhere NEAR good enough?! We have two months. That's it!"
She massaged her temple lightly, her head beginning to pound softly from her fathers relentless yelling combined with the ringing that often accompanied her head during practice. Why did she forget to bring aspirin. Again.
"I thought we sounded tight!"
Her bright blue eyes opened slowly upon hearing Phillip's voice. His enthusiasm, usually a source of great encouragement and one of the few things that could improve her mood when she felt like this, was grating on her today.
Stephan was pacing the garage, his anger rolling off him in waves effectively crippling any enthusiasm Aurora may have been able to muster. He was always angry nowadays.
"As much as I appreciate the optimism Phillip," Stephan began to snarl, "If you think that monstrosity of a solo you just attempted could pass as 'tight' then we have a bigger problem than I first thought!"
Aurora couldn't help but feel bad as she saw Phillip deflate before her father, his entire demeanour slumping with his shoulders. Clearly she wasn't the only one feeling the strain today.
She sighed audibly and bent to pick up a bottle of water she'd placed beside the microphone stand earlier, her long blonde waves following the curves of her body as she moved.
Swigging deeply from the bottle, the liquid ran down her throat, soothing the burn that only several hours of singing could give you.
"Father please, we've been out here for hours, we're all tired, can't we rest for five minutes?"
Stephan stopped his pacing and snapped his head towards his daughter. His eyes drilled into hers and she flinched slightly at the rage apparent beneath them, but refused to break his gaze. Years of perfecting the doe eyed damsel face must've paid off as he broke first, squeezing his eyes tight shut and grinding his palms into his sockets in frustration.
"Fine. Five minutes."
With that he retreated back into the house via the side door, slamming it for good measure behind him, the glass panes reverberating with the force.
Warm hands grazed Aurora's as she turned back towards the rest of the band. Deep chocolate brown eyes met her ocean blue ones as she allowed Phillip's fingers to interlace with her own.
"Hey, it'll be fine, you'll see. He's just had a rough day, we all have."
A limp smile graced her lips momentarily before she leaned her head against Phillip's shoulder.
"What if he's right? What if two months isn't long enough? We've been waiting for this for so long and…what if we're not good enough? What if I blow it.?"
She tried to nuzzle closer into the crook of Phillip's neck, struggling to hide her gloomy expression and the few tears that had sprang to her eyes from him. Phillip released her from his embrace, cupping her chin, forcing her to meet his soft gaze.
"We need some work, that much is true, but we've got this."
The pounding in her head returned, more urgent this time, but somehow holding Phillip's hand and with his words flowing over her, she began to believe him and allowed his words to soothe her.
"You sounded amazing tonight, any label in town would be lucky to have you. To have us."
With his hand still cupping her chin, he pulled her face closer to his, allowing his lips to meet hers briefly, lingering slightly before he shot her a charming smile, waltzing back off to retune his guitar.
As soon as he was gone, Aurora allowed herself to retreat inside her head, her fears creeping slowly back to the forefront of her mind without Phillip's presence to ward them off.
Her father had such high expectations of her. She knew she could sing, her father always claimed she'd been blessed at birth and that he always knew she'd make it. But as the countdown to the new talent showcase loomed, she couldn't help but doubt herself. Her whole life felt like it had been leading up to this moment and now she wondered if she was good enough. Was the band good enough to get signed.
And what if they weren't? This was everything she'd ever dreamed of, the only thing she'd ever really wanted in life. She had to prove to herself that they could do it, but based on the sketchy practice she couldn't help but wonder if her father was right after all.
Taking a few more sips of water, she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the nagging thoughts that haunted her and observed her fellow band mates.
Phillip was leant over his guitar, head bowed low allowing his brown hair to flop over his face slightly. Every now and then he would sweep a hand up in a hopeless attempt to keep it out of his eyes, only to have a lock flop back down again.
Despite his blindly optimistic outlook of their situation, she could sense the tension in his muscular shoulders and see the worry set into his face as his fingers lithely turned the tuning pegs, interspersed only by the occasional strum of a string. He was trying to be strong for her and she admired him for it, was grateful beyond belief.
Grateful.
It was one of the only things she felt towards Phillip nowadays, a fact that was also a cause for concern
It wasn't that she didn't adore him, because she did. He was her first love, he'd been there when she lost her mother, always willing to help ease the load at home, often coming over to do menial tasks, anything to help her and her father. She could recall occasions where Phillip would arrive at her house, cleaning products in hand and help her clean up the mess her father had left around the house. Beer bottles had littered the floor, interrupted only by the occasional pizza box, yet Phillip never commented, never once gazed upon her with pity or judgment. His loyalty as a friend was unswerving and Aurora knew she could never repay him for his kindness and support towards her and her father. She really couldn't have gone through it without him, couldn't imagine what she would've done if he hadn't had been there to help her, to love her.
Phillip had always been the most obvious choice for a boyfriend, and perhaps that wasn't a bad thing. His and her father were close friends when they were younger and their friendship maintained throughout their older years, bringing Aurora and Phillip close together naturally. And he was good to her, made her feel safe, began to fill the ever present void her mothers death had left in her heart, so why did she still feel empty? Why did she feel like she was waiting for something bigger, something more?
Aurora wanted passion. She wanted to be with someone who made her burn, who challenged her and pushed her to be more than she was. A love so deep that it didn't just trickle into the cracks in her heart, but filled them so completely that it spilled over and returned the light that she had once possessed and knew was still in her somewhere.
Running her fingers through her hair, still slightly damp with sweat she began to braid the blonde mess swiftly, hoping that removing her hair from her face might help clear her mind, help her re-focus and ignore the doubts gnawing at her mind.
Phillip must've sensed her looking at him. Not hard considering she'd practically bored a hole in the side of his head whilst pondering her feelings. His face lit up as he looked upon her, his entire expression softening as he waited for her to return his smile. She obliged before turning quickly back to her water, ashamed at herself for thinking badly of him.
She closed her eyes again, turning her thoughts instead to her father who she could hear slamming more doors in the house, clearly on another one of his rampages.
Remembering a time when he wasn't angry was a near impossible task now, she couldn't picture the last time she'd seen him smile, could no longer see the way his eyes crinkled at the corners as he laughed at one of her silly jokes or how his mouth tilted slightly to the side as he smiled, slightly off kilter but infectious. Now the only expression he wore was one of anger or pain.
When her mother had died, a piece of her father did too. She could see it in the glances he shot at Aurora sometimes, the agony of seeing his lost love reflected so greatly in Aurora's innocent blue eyes, her mother mocking him from beyond.
He'd been kind once, his happiness spread to those around him and shone blindingly. He had patience beyond that of a saint. Endless hours had been spent with Aurora, passing on his extensive knowledge of music, slaving willingly over the piano, smiling at all of Aurora's blunders, encouraging her to follow her dreams and to never give up on anything worth having, to be in a band just like he once was. It was hard to believe looking at him now that music had ever made him happy, that anything had, but it was true. The band had taken a hiatus when Aurora was born, her father wanting to be there for her, watch her grow and care for her. Be a real father.
He had thrived as a father in a way that he never had as a band member, and that was okay by him, the light inside of him merely changing colour from a startling golden, pure and innocent, to that of a deep blue, one that matched Aurora's eyes.
That light went out the day her mother died and left this shadow of a man in her fathers place.
It still pained Aurora to think of her mother. The passage of time had not yet healed her wounds, they wept and oozed openly every time she looked in the mirror, seeing only her mother in herself, every time she saw her father blanch at her eyes meeting his, every time she saw Phillip look at her filled with a gentle concern when she had her pensive moments. If she was being honest with herself, Aurora knew that a piece of her father wasn't the only thing her mother had taken with her. The emptiness threatened to swallow her where she sat, surrounded by those dearest to her, who had brought her the closest thing to a glimmer of happiness. The closest thing, but she knew, nowhere near close enough.
Phillip had returned his focus to his guitar, unaware of the depth of Aurora's pain, unaware of what she really needed.
"Do you think I should use the reverb in the chorus or leave it clean babe?"
Aurora's head shot towards Phillip's voice, surprised at how close he now sat. When did he move?
"Huh?"
There was that look again, the one that made her boil inside. A mixture of adoration and patronizing concern. It reminded her of the way her aunts used to look at her when she asked a question that she apparently didn't need to know the answer to, like the time she asked them why her father had a strange almost medicinal lingering smell after drinking the funny water in the glass bottle. And why this water made him sick and his head pound and his mood bleak the following day.
Vodka. She could use a shot or two right about now.
"Babe?"
"Whatever you think. Whatever you choose will be fine."
Phillip's brow creased slightly at her answer.
"You okay? You seem kind of distracted?"
Aurora tried her best to smile earnestly. What she probably produced was a deformed version of her usually glorious smile.
"I'm fine honestly, just…tired you know?"
Phillip seemed not to notice the mangled half smile and simply nodded, allowing his hand to rest upon her cheek.
"We'll wrap it up here soon, we'll nail the next one I promise you, and your father will have to let us go."
Aurora snorted, completely unconvinced, but too exhausted to argue back. She'd learnt long ago that sometimes with Phillip, it was best to allow him to try his best to comfort her and accept his outlook.
As if he could hear her internal monologue, Stephan barged back through the side garage door.
"Five minutes is up, back to it!"
Taking one last deep swig and placing the bottle back on the floor, Aurora heaved herself up from her perch on the amp, scurrying back into place in front of the microphone stand.
Phillip's hand dropped from her cheek and he too hauled himself up, strapping his guitar back over his shoulder, strumming lightly and memorizing the chord patterns.
"From the top. Oh and Phillip…None of that solo bullshit this time, understood?"
Phillip nodded obediently and Aurora's heart sank slightly. No one dared stand up to her father, not even her supposed prince.
"Alright, 5, 6, 7, 8!"
Phillip had been wrong. Not that this particularly surprised Aurora, but usually his naturally optimistic disposition rubbed off on her and she'd begun to hope that her father would let them finish early.
It was another hour before they had sounded up to Stephan's standards. Another hour of repeating the same song over and over until the lyrics became meaningless to her, the words starting to swirl inside Aurora's head echoing without feeling.
Even after all their hard work, Stephan had only graced them with calling it "Acceptable" before retreating to the house again.
He had paused as he reached the door and spoken to Aurora, a feat that startled her slightly. He usually avoided any direct form of contact with her.
"You might want to stay at Phillip's tonight, I'm moving more stuff out."
This had made Aurora stop her usual post practice ritual of helping the others tidy away their equipment ready to begin again tomorrow. She sought his eyes with her own, but found his fixed dejectedly upon the floor as always, although this time she understood why.
Once a fortnight her father tried to bring himself to clear out her mother's belongings. And once a fortnight her father broke down into uncontrollable sobs or later passed out from the excessive amounts of alcohol he consumed to numb the pain, or at least make him forget why he was sad for a while. Either way Aurora couldn't stand to see a grown man lay bare his torment and had fled to her aunts house the first time it had happened. Two years later and the only change in this ritual had been whose house she now fled to.
Trying to keep the wounds on her heart sewn together and bite back the salty sting that had risen up to the bridge of her nose and the back of her eyes, Aurora replied softly that she would stay at Phillip's.
"If that's okay with you?" She added, directing her question at Phillip.
Her beautiful features were twisted with sorrow that she tried in vain to keep hidden. Her blue orbs swam beneath the tears that were poised ready to fall and reveal her sadness.
Phillip gazed upon his girlfriend and kissed the blonde crown of hair upon her head, wishing more than anything that he could take the pain away.
"Of course babe, you don't even have to ask."
Aurora allowed herself to be tucked under Phillip's arm, which was swung lightly over her shoulder. Her sadness now tinged with guilt as she felt Phillip's genuine love and care for her radiate over her from his tight embrace.
"Thank you."
She smiled a watery smile at him, allowing the tears to creep silently down her face as she heard the click of the garage door closing and the first strangled sob emitted by her father from behind it.
The cool night air sobered Aurora of her sadness marginally and she fought to regain composure. The star filled sky lit up the darkness, illuminating Eric and Henry's faces as she said goodbye to them and started walking towards Phillip's car, feeding off his warmth beside her.
The drive was silent, but comfortably so, the only interruption being Phillip reaching over to touch Aurora's cheek or arm, trying to comfort her. Aurora ignored his attempts and allowed her eyes to watch the streets fly by, soothing her far more than a touch could.
As her blue eyes flitted backwards and forwards, trying to focus on the sky above, she felt her eyelids become weighted with sleep, the day finally catching up with her. She could feel a tickle in the back of her throat too. Great, she thought, another sore throat, just what I needed right now.
When Phillip pulled into his driveway, Aurora was already out for the count, her face the picture of peace, all sorrow gone from her features, smoothed out in the escape that sleep brings.
He stopped to brush a stray strand of golden hair away from her face and admire her for a minute before lifting her from the car.
"C'mon sleeping beauty, let's get you to bed."
He picked her up with relative ease, trying his best not to wake her as he closed the car door behind him and fumbled with the lock at his front door. As the front door closed behind them, Aurora mumbled softly.
"Hush, it's okay, we're here now."
Ascending the stairs, Phillip pressed his lips against her forehead and smiled sweetly as her expression returned once again to that of peace. He tucked her beneath his duvet once inside his room and climbed in beside her as he had done several times before.
Once the duvet was pulling over the pair of them, he turned to pull her closer to him, but with slight disappointment found that Aurora's back was turned towards him, her arms and legs spread out making it near impossible to reach her.
Sighing, Phillip also turned his back, trying to calm his thoughts and rid himself of the doubts that had plagued his mind for the past year, and focus on the beautiful girl that he adored sleeping deeply next to him.
When slumber arrived for him it was hard to say who slept with more tranquility; Aurora, who in sleep was free from the empty void in her chest, or Phillip who in his dreams could recall the angelic being who once loved him with all of her heart.