This fiction was first published for the Black Butler forums for Thursday Crack Ficlets: Kuroshitsuji characters at a carnival! WARNING: this ficlet is FULL of crack! XD – CaladriaHaru
"The Duel"
"So, it's a duel then?"
"A duel."
Ciel Phantomhive's sapphire eye glared across the short expanse to the amused gaze of Alois Trancy. Hanging on their every word was a small crowd of carnival visitors that had been captured moments before by the sight of the two well-dressed earls and their black-clad butlers engaged in a verbal confrontation. That is, the lordlings were engaged; the butlers stood mutely behind them.
Sebastian Michaelis smiled at his counterpart. Claude Faustus was completely without expression, although if pressed, one might have suggested he was slightly annoyed by the smiling Sebastian.
Ciel lifted his chin, "30 seconds."
Alois' eyebrows raised, "20!"
The Earl of Phantomhive smirked, "So, our butlers have 20 seconds to acquire as many Peter Rabbit prizes from the game booths and return. The butler with the most trophies will be the victor."
"And the loser's master gets a pie to the face!" Alois' completed with a laugh. "Oh, Ciel, I'd love to see your face covered in cream," the blonde boy taunted as he drew his index finger through the air, scraping an imaginary dollop of the sweetness, before putting the digit into his mouth for a slow lick.
Ciel appeared visibly repulsed. He turned halfway to his butler and barked, "Sebastian, this is a simple task. I expect you to win."
Sebastian inclined his head because there was no room with the random observers to get to one knee, "Yes, my lord."
Alois tugged on Claude's arm. "Sebastian looks super confident, Claude. Can you beat him?"
Claude actually did appear to be somewhat…determined.
"Yes, your highness."
Ciel touched his eye patch and Alois licked his lips.
"Sebastian!"
"Claude!"
"You will not lose!" both boys exclaimed.
And the butlers were gone. Like that. In an instant and a rush of a late summertime breeze, the combatants appeared at game tables hurling axes, darts, balls, shooting arrows, rifles, and slingshots. Fairgoers were stopped in their tracks by bullets in black and whizzing implements of destruction as paper targets, clown pins, and innocent wooden boards were annihilated. Peter Rabbits were plucked from the astonished hands of the game tenders or simply snatched from the walls where they sat after each successful attempt.
The general murmur of the crowd rose in a crescendo as the butler's efforts grew fiercer, and as the final seconds ticked down, a uniform hush settled over it all.
3.
2.
1.
Sebastian and Claude were simply there again. Or, at least, it was expected that the butlers had reappeared, though it was difficult to find them between flopping rabbit ears.
The final tally was as follows:
Sebastian: 73
Claude: 73
Ciel turned on Sebastian, his frigid glare a measure of his dissatisfaction even though, technically, his order hadn't been disobeyed.
Alois stomped his heel, cocked his head and fussed, "This won't do, Claude! There cannot be a tie! There must be pie…PIE!" Alois stopped short and then broke into peals of laughter, "Tie and pie! No Pie for a Tie, Claude!"
Sebastian smiled knowingly at Claude who was now clearly frowning. From an observer's perspective it almost appeared as if the Phantomhive butler had been keeping pace for a tie simply to vex his young master and his opponent at the same time.
"He is right, there cannot be a tie, Sebastian." Ciel was furious.
"Another duel. Another!" Alois demanded, "But what shall it be this time?"
Just then the timely voice of a Master of Ceremonies broke in:
"We're now accepting last-minute contestants for the tap-dancing competition to be held in 15 minutes. Once again, the tap-dancing competition will begin in 15 minutes, so complete your registration immediately."
Alois blinked.
Ciel blinked.
Sebastian frowned.
Claude's yellow eyes gleamed predatorily….
…and he smiled.
FIN
(accept the crack, just accept it. XD)
(Edit: read "blank space" XD)