Title: "Just Once"
Author: Destiny's Creator a.k.a. Isabelle
Disclaimer: Not mine…I wish but it isn't! The song is by James Inagram and Quincy Adams… so I can't own it either, but it fits just so!
Rating: PG-13
Genre: er…I'd have to say… general, nods, leaves much left to be discovered that way…
Warnings: Slight swearing (they're teenagers, have to make it realistic right?) and the slimmest of slim to none traces of slash R/V (a.k.a. implied but no action, darn it all!)
Archive: the Static Slash yahoo group, my LJ, and anyone else who wants it too (just ask first please!)…
"I sometimes forget to tell you how much you mean to me… but my heart always remembers." -Larry Fanning
One-step
closer…
Then another…
And another…
Would he run this
time…?
"I did my best,
But
I guess my best wasn't good enough,
'Cause here we are back
where we were before…"
Stray branches ripped at his costume, tearing fabric but never quite reaching flesh as he tripped and stumbled on his way. The forested path in the outskirts of Dakota was slippery and overgrown, neglected and unused...
He wasn't entirely sure of what had drawn him here in his search. Of all places, surely their old hangouts -—the abandoned gas station, a remote part of the school, some basketball courts at the community center, heck a random alleyway somewhere—- any of these would be more probable as a chance destination for meeting than where he was now.
Yet it was here that he felt drawn to and it was here he expected to find his friend…
Inexplicably, of this he was certain.
It was a difficult hike though, and Virgil found himself bringing up old memories to pass the time. One in particular struck him as a favorite and everything about this place just served to further remind him of it . This is where it all happened, so long ago now, and he couldn't help a small smile as he reminisced about the day Ritchie began to fly.
"Seems nothing ever changes,
We're
back to being strangers…"
Learning to use those jet packs/rollerskates, not to mention becoming use to the sensation they caused, could not have been easy. Virgil certainly wouldn't go anywhere near the things but, as usual, Ritchie was eager to try, despite the risks…
"Oh, come on V! What's the worst that could happen?" Ritchie asked, making a few last minute preparations and a final check of the equipment.
"What's the worst? How about you blasting off and having those things give out on you… falling 100 feet through the air, landing, and cracking your skull open! How's that for worse?"
Ritchie noncommittally shrugged off his concerns, "I have a helmet, and besides, you'll be there."
Somehow this response of absolute trust made Virgil even more uneasy, if that was at all possible, and a sinking feeling formed in his gut…
He swallowed. He couldn't deny Ritchie anything, but…
"Yeah, for now… but I know you Rich, you'll be flying every chance you get and I won't always be there. And forgive me, but right now your landings are less than graceful… heck, it hurts just to watch!"
Ritchie had stiffened from where he stood hunched over his newest creation, and for a fleeting moment, Virgil considered whether or not he had gone too far… and quickly backtracked…
"I… I mean… not that you can't learn or anything but… but…you know my stops were none too pretty either when I was first starting out…and…um…" Virgil stuttered out.
Ritchie just shook his head, chuckling silently, and flashed a quick, broad smile over his shoulder in reassurance.
"Just relax V!" His tone turned to one of childlike mocking, "And if I promise to stay near the ground and not go without you mom, can we go out today? Please ma?" Virgil just never could resist that pleading look, the pout, those eyes, the very definition of a begging pup… he accepted defeat.
"Sure, why not..."
"Wondering if we oughta
stay
Or head on out the door…"
They covered the whole of Dakota in a day before Ritchie was satisfied that his newly acquired skills were adequate. Even then, they hadn't gone straight home…
They had felt the same compulsion as he did now, normal loathing of anything that remotely resembled the outdoors forgotten at once. Together they flew over miles and miles of green without consideration or care, losing track of both time and distance before finding what they must have been looking for from the very beginning.
It was a place outside of time and imagination, beyond fantasy, and with solitude they were sure everybody else could only dream of…
A lake -—a small, beautiful pond really-— crystalline and perfectly oval, awaited them. It was all their own too… virtually untouched, unseen by others except themselves, and secluded. God only knew how far out they were or how late it really was, but none of that seemed to matter at the moment.
Ritchie spotted the site first as he had
let out a full laugh, abruptly turning his frontal beeline into a
dive.
Virgil suffered a near heart attack.
"Ritchie! Ritchie what's wrong!" He didn't know that his friend was leading him on; he just thought there must be something malfunctioning with those fickle, confounded contraptions! Frozen, he lost his senses as all he saw was his friend hurtling faster and faster towards the ground…
"Hold on Rich! I'm coming!" He frantically began his own plummet then, knowing he would never make it in time, but he just needed to aim for the steel on his feet… However, Ritchie disappeared through the trees' foliage before he could act, wood rendering Virgil's powers useless.
"RITCHIE!" He called out in a frenzy; clumsily, frantically landing his disk in a heap. He ran out into the clearing, upsetting birds to the air as he went. "Ritchie! Ritchie, where are you? Dammit! I knew this was a bad idea… If anything happened to him… Rich…!" His yelling was cut short as he was tackled from behind.
He struggled, thrashing a bit, barrelrolling, before realizing just who it was atop of him. "Ritchie!" He couldn't quite contain the relief in his voice or his features lighting up at seeing him.
"Huh… and you say I'm less than graceful? What do you call that move back there… your 'Static Splat'?"
"You did that on purpose!" Good mood forgotten, Virgil scowled reproachfully, still underneneath but trying to push his friend off.
"Now you're catching on Einstein…" Ritchie moved away quickly to avoid any major blows, scrambling to his feet before helping Virgil up.
Ritchie then proceeded to look around the area purposefully, taking in the scenery and fresh air with a grin that made the sun jealous. "Just look at this place V!" His smile turned mischievous. "And since there's no one here but us… we may as well enjoy ourselves!" He started to remove his gear a safe distance from the water.
"What are you doing?" Virgil asked in annoyance, still peeved at Ritchie's earlier antics.
"What does it look like V? Or are you still worried someone will discover our identities here? Geez come on Virg, lighten up! There's paranoia and then there's you… sometimes I can't tell the difference!"
Finally stripped down to his undergarments, Ritchie took a running leap, "CANONBALL!" And poor Virgil never stood a chance. His glare roamed from his now soaking wet Static outfit to the blonde in the water nearly dying of hysterics.
"Oh, that is so it! This time you've gone too far!"
"Yeah, real scared over here!"
Wasn't long after an all out water war erupted between the two; the only war in history to be won by mirth alone…
"Just once,
Can we
figure out what we keep doing wrong?
Why we never last for very
long…
What are we doing wrong?"
God was he ever tired...
Virgil leaned against a rock briefly to catch his breath, but found himself sliding down to its base instead. Okay, so he was exhausted, but this wasn't a walk through the park by any means… even if if was Dakota National Park. He wiped off little bits of sweat and grime, rubbed at his eyes, before reaching down to pull a water bottle from his pack. He drank greedily, but mindful not to drain it completely... he didn't know whether or not Ritchie had brought any water with him.
Ritchie had run off so suddenly…
Virgil swatted at the gnats around him irritably.
Ritchie was the one who started this whole mess! He was the reason he was hiking up a frigging mountain! Yes, he could have always flown up but… he really needed the time to think some things through. When did it get this way between them? This… this complicated? It was all so confusing… and frustrating, having to go through poison ivy and nettle for God's sakes…
Nevertheless, that's why he was here.
For Ritchie…
Ritchie…
His best friend…
He hoped it was still true…
This long trek through the woods, taking up the better of his afternoon, had Virgil trying to figure things out in his head, straighten out his thoughts… do something with them! No, it was not for the beneficial exercise… every passing moment was spent summoning up each and every memory of him and Ritchie. Unsurprisingly there were still plenty left to go. The last memory in particular, the one of this place, just kept on repeating over and over again...
"Just once,
Can we find a way to
finally make it right?
Make the magic last for more than just one
night…
Lord knows how long they stayed there, swimming and playing in the lake together, but the sky was definitely getting dark, and it wasn't just from the approaching night…
"Oh man, where'd this come from?" Ritchie asked after he came up spouting water. Virgil looked equally perplexed and then worrisome as he sensed a familiar sensation… "Quick, out of the water Ritchie, it's a thunderstorm!" As soon as he said it, the first drop fell from the sky and the first thunderclap sounded in the distance.
They scrambled out, slipping on muddy banks as they rummaged for their clothing. Once grabbed, they heard another rumble then clash resonating in the heavens, closer this time… much closer…
"We gotta get out of the open!" Virgil shouted, more concerned for Ritchie's safety than his own… though he himself wasn't sure how a punch of that much electricity would affect him either. And he was not at all willing to find out…
"Well, we can't get under any trees," Ritchie ruled out matter-of-factly as he scanned the area for something. Then, triumphantly spotting whatever it was he was searching for, he shouted "this way!", grabbed his friend's wrist, and ran, dragging Virgil along with him.
"Wait a sec Rich, hold up, where…? Oh." Ritchie was leading them over to a gigantic stone formation, hoping that… but when they reached it they found the overhang wasn't quite steep enough to cover them.
Virgil was about to point out the obvious but stopped as Ritchie was still looking up at the rock intently. "There!" he indicated upwards, "Start climbing!"
"Are you nuts? There's nothing up there Ritchie! And the last thing we want to do is get any higher!"
"There's a cave up there, I saw it on the flight, I can see it still. Come on V, just trust me!"
"Okay…" What else could he say to that?
The scaling was certainly no picnic. Both of them sported plenty of scrapes and bruises from the rock's sharp ledges only halfway through the climb… but they were almost there…
At one point Virgil nearly fell…he seriously thought he was going to. Grip failing on crumbling rock, he slid down, felt himself loose balance, arms flailed… but Ritchie was faster, much faster. With one swift move -—as brave and foolhardy as any—- he swung himself over from his own shaky perch to wrap around Virgil, quickly finding makeshift handholds in the crevices, and pressed his weight against his friend with all his might, forcefully and effectively pinning them both to the wall, shaking with the effort.
Both were breathless after that unnerving feat, spent. They remained there for a few minutes more, frozen and panting, until Ritchie smiled cockily, though Virgil couldn't see it.
"You're not going anywhere," he declared smugly in his partner's ear, quite pleased with himself at the moment.
"You're right, I'm not… my legs won't work anymore."
"Oh, quit being such a baby, you've done this sort of thing hundreds of times from hundreds of stories high and besides," He glanced up expectantly, "yep, we're almost there! Okay big V, you first now, just take it easy and..."
"And since when have you gotten so good at this?" Virgil asked incredulously, uneasily trying to stall for time by keeping the conversation going.
"Since my dad used to take me rockclimbing," the account was given painfully, a gloomy demeanor weighing down his shoulders briefly with an unseen burden -—Virgil knew well it was that of a son forever trying to get in the good graces of a bigoted father—- but then Ritchie's voice changed deliberately to one of decision, "and no that tactic of diversion is not going to work on me, so get going already!" He leaned closer, encouraging, "I promise I won't let you fall..."
A deep sigh followed that pronoucement, "Alright, I trust you."
"If we could just get to it,
I
know we could breakthrough it…"
Virgil managed to climb up the rest of the way, noticably more at ease with Ritchie beneath him. He scrambled into the hole; immediately turning back towards the entrance and glanced down anxiously…
"Come on Ritchie, just a few more feet! You're almost there!" he cheered his friend on, laughing with relief. Ritchie smiled up at him shakily and gave a quick nod before returning his attentions to grappling with the rock face. He was balanced too precariously and getting tired, he'd have to change his grip if he wanted to…
Neither saw it coming, neither could have, the fact that Ritchie survived at all was purely instinct on Virgil's part.
Ritchie could only glimpse the flashing light heading his way; the next instant found him grasping his perch tightly enough to turn his knuckles white.
Slowly, cautiously, he opened one eye and squinted, unsure of whether he was dead or alive. What he saw was Virgil protecting him, shielding him, channeling the energy of the lightning away from him through the rock and into the ground.
Then, just as suddenly, it was gone…
He heard Virgil collapse somewhere above him.
Looking up, he worriedly met his friend's gaze in silent question; they were both badly shaken.
"Wha… what was that?"
"You have to ask?"
He didn't. It all seemed surreal, impossible…
Virgil swallowed. "It…it's alright! I'm alright!" He called down unsteadily, "I have your back Rich, but I can't use my power to drag you up… I might attract another one of those." He motioned vaguely up at the sky, knowing that he couldn't deflect another one, his eyes never leaving Ritchie who was terrified. Please don't let lightning strike in the same place twice! Something in him softened considerably, making him sound much braver than he really felt. "Don't be afraid Ritchie."
Ritchie nodded again, the ghost of a smile gracing his flushed and pale cheeks.
"Thanks V."
"You gonna make it?"
"Yeah, I think so…"
"Well you better!"
"It's a good thing we can save each other!" Ritchie's grin was back in place, full blast, as he struggled up the last stretch. "Okay, now give me a hand, would ya?"
Virgil did so gladly.
"I gave my all,
But I
think my all may have been too much,
'Cause Lord knows we're
not getting anywhere…"
Ritchie let out a deep sigh of relief as they clambered into the cave. Virgil started to make a ball of electricity for light but Ritchie motioned it wasn't necessary, using a thankfully waterproof Backpack -—'which had probably attracted the lightning in the first place,' Virgil realized with mild annoyance, Ritchie would never leave it behind—- to illuminate the cavern.
One good look at each other and they burst out laughing.
"Backpack survival kit, never leave home without it!" Ritchie chuckled proudly -—while Virgil snorted at the irony of 'survival'-— and he began to extract various supplies from a hidden compartment, including first aid. He looked his wet and bloodied friend over, cuts covering knees and elbows along with everything exposed, with a hint of amusement. "Oh yeah, this is real new," he joked grimly, retrieving compresses and bandages alike.
"And whose bright idea was this in the first place?" Virgil accused through gritted teeth as his fried worked. Even bent over, in the dim lighting, he could still see Ritchie's ears go red.
"Mine."
"Uhuh."
"I'm sorry okay! I was just trying to get us out of the rain, not kill us…"
"Hmm… Just try to go easy on the wrappings… not so tight man! And let me see your palms bro… that's got to kill…"
And so it was, slowly but surely, they patched each other up that night, softly joking and sniggering the entire time about the messes they always got into…together…
"Seems
we're always blowing,
Whatever we've got going…"
Virgil stood up again, shaking his head for clarity. This was getting him nowhere fast except more and more frustrated… which wasn't helping Ritchie at all. Dammit, why did things turn out like this? He hadn't meant to… Really, he swore it just happened!
Walking on, he thought of just that morning… when Ritchie had first run off.
She kissed him! She had the nerve -—the audacity!—- to just walk right up and kiss him!
Mind, it didn't happen exactly that way… and he hadn't minded it at the time…
He just never thought he'd come to regret it as much as he did.
He and Ritchie had been heading to school, taking the usual route for once, instead of hoping fences or going for a quick pre-class fly. They were talking about… something. -—He couldn't remember what it was exactly, but nothing important… comics, maybe? The latest Plantman addition? -— Then Daisy came up, and they started talking about something else -—an upcoming school function, a dance probably. -— She had asked him if he would come with her and he had agreed to it… how could he not? Why on earth wouldn't he? She was… fine.
They were right in front of the school and… and… she kissed him!
It was only meant as a thank you…
A quick peck on the lips, the kiss being… friendly, chaste… shy and sweet…
That was all!
It was nice, timid, and soft caresses…
Lasted two seconds!
It was the kind of cute, fluffy love… allowing people to walk on clouds and little bubbles to surround them.
It should have been a dream come true -—there were times before when he fantasized about such and more-— but when it did happen and he finally pulled away, dazedly looking around, vision swimming and then clearing… Ritchie wasn't there anymore…
He wasn't anywhere to be found.
Instantaneously he was gone, vanished into thin air, disappearing without word or trace…
And Virgil hadn't seen him since.
He really resented that kiss…
He just wasn't sure which one.
"And
it seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer"
It was cold, very cold… and their clothes were sopping wet, so it was no use putting those back on. The survival kit only had one blanket; no choice, they had to share… or freeze to death.
They'd done it before.
It simply wasn't that big a deal.
"Well this is… different."
"Say what you want, I'm not moving."
They snuggled closer together. At first, it didn't help matters much -—since neither had much body heat to contribute—- but then, slowly but surely, both of them were feeling a whole lot warmer… and quite content. As long as one didn't move, the other wouldn't budge an inch… at first.
"I take it back, this is nice." Ritchie sounded happily drunk on sleep.
"Yeah, but still… kinda weird I guess," Virgil on the other hand was wide awake and more than a little uncomfortable… from the weight or the closeness… he wasn't sure…
Ritchie cracked open an eye at his friend's tenseness.
"Want me to move?" he asked flatly.
"Yes… I mean no! I mean…," he stuttered out unintelligently, not actually sure himself anymore...
Ritchie sat up at all this, fully awake now.
"V-man what's up? If you want me to move I'll move, it's no problem; here, you can even have the whole blanket…"
This move also rather unfortunately brought them face-to-face and Virgil found himself becoming increasingly nervous, over what he didn't know.
He looked down.
"I'm not sure…"
"Not sure about what V?"
"I'm not sure if I want you to move…or…" He had no clue what he meant by any of that. He had no clue what the 'or' was…
A finger, slightly calloused from long work at inventions Virgil noticed apprehensively, landed under his chin and not ungently but rather roughly forced him to peer into curious, crystal light-blue depths.
Eyes that captivated… how was it possible they were so blue?
"Why not?"
He looked away again.
Ritchie frowned for a moment, thoroughly baffled, before coming to realize their close proximity with a start. He impulsively backed away…
They just sat there by Backpack's soft glow, memorized and greatly puzzled.
But by what?
"Just once,
Can we figure out what we keep doing wrong?
Why the good times
never last for long,
Where are we going wrong…?"
It was all just too awkward…
Awkward was Daisy kissing him in front of Ritchie…
Awkward was him picking his way through all these ruffage and needled branches, which he despised doing, just to reach his best friend…
Awkward was thinking about said person for nearly four straight hours…
And awkward was going to be between them when he finally did reach the clearing.
Just what was he going to say anyways?
Looks as though he'd find out soon enough… he had arrived.
"Just
once,
Can we find a way to finally make it right?
And make the
magic last for more than just one night?"
He was huffing and wheezing at the effort it took… unbelievable, that had to be at least a ten-mile hike, straight uphill! If it turned out that Ritchie actually wasn't here after all that strain -—sore muscles, aches, pains, bruises, blisters—- well, he couldn't exactly be held accountable for his actions when he actually did find him.
There it was… the lake, the rock, the trees. It was as though nothing had changed…that same day and time frozen in this place -—this one hallowed spot—-for their return alone. He hadn't dared come back before this, he just…couldn't. As though forbidden by some unseen force… or repressed memories… It was hard enough to deal with the present.
He walked to the lake's edge, looking into the reflective surface almost mechanically. There he was tired, sweaty, and dirty… dreadful, since his Static costume left no breathing room. He had worn it almost subconsciously, on impulse. How could a place hold such importance, such significance, and such power over him?
He removed his mask.
As he gazed into the pool, at first, all he saw was his own image mirrored, obviously -—and for but a moment he wondered who that really was, Static or Virgil? There was a line of thought he didn't want to go into…—- yet even that gradually changed as he began to daydream. Ritchie was his best friend, his partner… they had been through everything together…
Scenes flashed by:
Ritchie shot in the leg…
Ritchie rushing in as Gear to save his butt and the day…
He and Gear battling side by side…
He and Ritchie joking around—playing video games…
Going out to movies…
Comic book runs…
An innumerable amount of band-aids…
Laughing…
Flying…
Together…
…all of these dominating recollections were his and Ritchie's alone.
No one else.
No one else was included.
He hadn't once thought of his own problems -—although he sincerely hoped Dakota would still be in one piece when they returned.
He hadn't thought of his family or other friends…
He'd thought of Ritchie this entire time and his need to find him, see him --confront him—- grew ever more intense.
Finally looking up, his heart tightened and sank as he didn't see him anywhere…
"I know we could breakthrough
it,
If we could just get to it…
He'd been so certain…
"Ritchie!" Virgil called out desperately to his surroundings, "Ritchie, I know you're here!"
Did he?
"I just know it," he whispered, trying his best to remain calm, to believe in his intuition. He had too, because if he really wasn't here then…
Then where?
Then what?
"Ritchie come on, come out! We need to talk!" His voice raised an octave before he stopped yelling again. He scrutinized the area carefully, taking in every detail, every square inch, but if Ritchie had truly been here… well… the place honestly looked untouched, deserted.
A burning sensation started deep in his throat, but he gulped it down quickly, eyes settling on the cave.
He knew then and walked on, determined.
"Ritchie I know you're up there! Just come down already!" 'Please don't make me climb anymore,' he thought to himself with an inward groan, more than a little annoyed with his friend right now… who knew he could be so stubborn?
He had.
"Fine," Virgil declared, sighing as he measured up the actual height… well then, it was fine; he could be just as pig-headed when he wanted to! "I'm coming up and you had better not go anywhere, you hear me?" He growled half in warning, half in unease.
He walked up closer… and realized how tall the rock really was.
He'd swear it grew larger while he was gone.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to fly a little…?
Nope, things had to be done precisely the way they were the last time…
…well, close enough anyways. And stopped that thought right there.
He began the ascent.
Thankfully, most of the morning dew had already dried up so the rock face wasn't too slippery, but it still wasn't easy… hell, let's face it, it was never easy. Good thing he'd gotten rid of his fear of heights when flying. Of course, he didn't have his discus out so… if he did fall there wouldn't actually be anything to catch him, besides the ground.
'Almost…there…,' he gritted his teeth, an extra burst of strength, preparing to jump for the ledge.
Must…be…careful…
He grasped it -—thank God!—- but as he did, he realized his left grip was no good. He lost his footing next with a yell. Hanging on desperately with one hand, he closed his eyes in terror… and found out next, the hard way, that he was indeed still afraid of heights.
Even more so without Ritchie.
'Oh great…' he was so preoccupied in cursing his morose luck and soon-to-be-ceased-existence that he didn't immediately notice the strong, secure grip that enclosed around his forearm.
Blinking, he looked up in wonder… and like a prayer, there was Ritchie! Gear actually -—but he had removed his helmet too, and he really didn't want to go into the duality of alteregos—- managing to look grave and encouraging all at once, and Virgil was able to relax, just a bit as he knew that he wouldn't really fall...
And that his best friend really was here…
…to catch him.
"Just once,
I want to
understand,
Why it always comes back to goodbye…"
Once pulled to safety though, the guilt trip started all over again, with a more persistent itch than ever. Virgil was ready to use up his frequent flyer miles flying airFolley though if necessary. They had barely glimpsed each other before Ritchie scurried back into a dark corner, turning his back on Virgil. Virgil himself dejectedly took up residence on the opposite side of the cavern and just… waited.
For a long moment -—easily the longest ever of Virgil's life so far-— no one spoke a word. If absolute silence was ever to be defined, this was it. Not a bird sang nor cricket chirped anywhere, the wind was perfectly still without rustling any leaves, and both boys remained unmoving for quite some time.
But eventually it came that time when somebody had to say something. The tension between the two was humming, nearly palpable, and if no one broke it soon he was fairly sure the entire cave would collapse around them in protest.
"Why are you here?" Ritchie's voice was low and accusatory; Virgil flinched as if the dully spoken words actually were a blow… and he wasn't so certain they weren't meant to be just that.
"I had to come, Rich," Virgil watched his friend cautiously for any kind of reaction to the nickname and it was disheartening when Ritchie flinched… Virgil tried his hardest not to lose composure. "I mean, what was I supposed to do? Leave you here to rot? Who else would be crazy enough to organize a search party and scale a moutain any time soon?"
This wasn't helping; the rhetorical questions backfired… he could see it in Ritchie's now burning eyes as his gaze hurled daggers at him… he was just driving Ritchie further away…
He could already sense the widening distance.
All meticulously thought out words during the day were forgotten, all plans of action crumbled, in that one crucial moment.
"Look, Rich, please just listen… I don't know what went on today… really I don't… I mean I know she kissed me… But I don't understand why you reacted that way… I don't understand why I feel as bad as I do about it… or even what I'm supposed to do now. I've been thinking things through ever since I left Dakota this morning and I still don't have any answers… I just don't get it! I liked it. It was Daisy. So what's the big deal? And yet… God damn, they say walking's supposed to clear the mind! I'm so confused!"
At this Ritchie glanced over his shoulder dubiously, curious enough to pry -—albeit flatly—- "You mean you walked the whole way here? Why? Why not just fly?" He stared blankly as though this were obvious… either that or he thought Virgil had gone insane… or at least wasn't thinking straight…
Which wasn't the farthest thing from the truth…
Virgil, feeling the tingle of a blush creeping up on him, stuttered. "Cause… I just… I needed the time to consider is all, and I did think on it too…"
"Don't hurt yourself," the cutting, offhanded remark was meant to be sarcastic, was tossed to and fro between them all the time, but somehow it came out as a bite, sounding even cruel.
Virgil cringed, "Yeah I thought…about a lot of things… about us… and… and…"
His mind went blank and shut down; he was at a total loss for words, left speechless.
And this old returning, yet somehow newfound, silence did not bode well.
"Why are you even here?" was the broken-down mumble, again.
And Virgil winced, again, crushed, before settling down with a sigh, "I… I dunno."
Both paused, it was awhile before Virgil found his nerves. Even then, he still couldn't face him.
"I had to come, Ritchie," he stressed at last, very glad to get that bit off his chest. For some reason it had seemed significant, felt hard to say… and he had had to say it!
Another delicate, difficult moment arose between them… these were getting old fast.
"How'd you know I'd be here anyways?"
Virgil shrugged, "Lucky guess. How'd you catch me like that?"
The slighter mimic of Virgil's shoulder movement and a wry half-smile ensued, the blessed first.
It was also his real answer.
"Reflex."
It was a start.
"Why can't we get ourselves
in hand?
And admit to one another,
We're no good without each
other…"
Neither one could figure quite what to say…
Instinctively, they knew their friendship, partnership -—everything they shared together—- was hanging precariously… off-balanced and on edge… incidentally, unable to be ignored any longer.
But if at any time this turned into another shouting match between them, it was all over.
Ritchie continued to stare listlessly outside at the scenery while Virgil, becoming a little braver, shifted closer.
"Look at me," he finally pleaded, when Ritchie flat out refused to do so of his own accord.
Yet he got unexpected, miraculous compliance… however, he was unsure as if he was truly prepared for it.
The blue eyes had darkened to hard cobalt, cold and calculating and… scared perhaps? Was that really just the barest hint of fear hidden in there? Or was Ritchie as ready to burst with it as he was?
He should never feel that way around him.
Ritchie even flinched, was he afraid he'd hit him?
Virgil swallowed. With every passing second his throat became increasingly drier -—since when did talking to his best friend get so hard?—- taking a deep breath he delved…cautious and constantly alert… searching for a signal, a sign…
"I don't understand a lot of things nowadays," he began almost warily; frequently searching Ritchie's eyes for some kind of response or clue… of which there was none. "School's completely eluded me, family life is and has always been whacked, and now you… you…"
The pressure mounted, and he was finding it harder and harder to maintain contact; those intense, fiery blue orbs burned ice into him, spurning him on impatiently… enough to bring sweat to anyone's brow, this exacting scrutiny…
"Ritchie, you used to make sense… You were family and school and super heroism all combined! The only thing I ever understood -—or at least pretended to I guess—- was you… but lately? Now I don't…"
Reluctantly, chocolate depths dropped. It finally hit Virgil. It hit him hard.
"I guess I really don't…"
They were precisely back where they started.
Which always lead to…?
What exactly?
At last, some sign of movement, as it was Ritchie's turn to fidget nervously, "Look V, I'm sorry about the way I acted when she… I mean…"
"I don't care about that! I care about why… Why did you run away like that?"
"I guess I just didn't want to get in the way is all…"
The irony in this statement was unbearable, Virgil cracked.
"Oh yeah, that plan worked out real well… I mean, you know, it's not just Daisy anymore… my pops is gonna kill me now too!" He retorted harshly before catching himself.
"You didn't have to come after me you know," Ritchie replied, somehow still seeming to remain stubbornly indifferent about the whole thing.
Virgil exhaled in aggravation, rubbing his temples to soothe a now-imaginary-but-soon-to-be-real-enough headache.
Ritchie knew just how to push his buttons all right…
"For the last time Ritchie yes, yes I did. Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend and sidekick... Ritchie, we've been through so much already… we're tight you and I. So how… how could you even think that I wouldn't after…?"
The whole thing was becoming, if it wasn't already, laughable… in a bad way. It was dissolving into fits and bouts of biting wit…
"Are we close V? Are we really? Cause sometimes… sometimes I wonder you know… I really wonder…"
Ritchie was still off in his own little world, probably not realizing the full impact of what he had said, but it left Virgil flabbergasted and rueful.
"You really don't… that know much, about me."
It took a few minutes to pick his mouth off the floor and to get his jaw working again…
"What the…? Why Rich? We've been through literal and figurative torture together, okay? Doesn't that mean anything to you? Adults don't have to deal with half the crap of what we find; and you seriously think I could do it alone? How…? I need you Ritchie!"
Ritchie just shook his head sadly at what he saw as the quirkiness of fate… and for what Virgil was mistaking for something else entirely.
"Things are gonna change though Virg. We head off to college in a year; you've got yourself a new girlfriend… as we always expected you would. Everything's changing, everything's different…"
"And… so what…? You've never broken on me like this before…"
Silence.
"…You don't honestly believe any of that matters do you?"
Rich just continued his languid observation of the surrounding countryside.
"You just don't see it Virgil… you can't imagine when… every day… I have to…"
"I don't want to hear it Rich!"
"…no… no, of course you don't…" Ritchie's fists balled unconsciously at the painful happenstance…
Virgil was at a complete and irate loss, his friend was obviously set on believing the impossible, not acknowledging their continued future together, and it angered him. After all they'd been through, after all this time, how could Ritchie even think… consider… that he'd abandon him because of this…
It wasn't feasible…
Ritchie just couldn't accept that as truth…
Ritchie couldn't be the one between them to give up…
…could he?
One thing was certain, and that was that Ritchie was right.
Virgil apparently didn't know him as well as he thought…
"Take the
best and make it better,
Find a way to stick together…"
Embittered, Virgil was the one who felt betrayed now… though he knew he had no definite reason to…
But after all they'd been through together…
It all came down to this.
And he had to try, just once more…
"Can't you just not feel that way about me?"
Ritchie shook his head in an empathetical 'no', looking ashamed and embarassed and just generally wanting to sink into the floor…
…after all, Ritchie was the one who had promised in the first place…
…it wasn't supposed to come between them like this…
"I'm sorry you feel that way Rich, I truly am…" He kept his voice even, sincere, albeit leaving much to be pondered… but most of all hiding his…
Was it confusion, pain, sadness? Or was it something more… the truth perhaps? His truth? His only truth?
Ritchie started, looking at him questioningly, perplexed with his sudden apology…
"And I'm sorry I obviously haven't proved to you enough that I… I'm sorry that you can't see that I don't care… that I can't make you… "
"Virg, please don't… I can't change…"
Virgil just shook his head; in all honesty he knew that he couldn't change Ritchie's mindset -—he couldn't force him to accept what he didn't believe—- and he couldn't make Ritchie something other than what he was, he didn't think he'd want to, but still… there just had to be a way…
"Rich, its okay man, really… no matter what either of us thinks, it doesn't make a difference… I'm going to be there for you Ritchie… forever and always…whether you believe me or not… it's true… I know it… and that's enough. No matter what."
Ritchie just stared, after awhile settling back down again with another sigh…
"Just who are you trying to convince? I know -—I thought the same once too-— but I've become all the wiser… You can't predict the future V, everything changes eventually. Even us. Especially us. We won't always be friends."
Virgil shrugged, heavily dismissing, "Nope, doesn't matter what you say. We will."
At first Ritchie looked harsh, fuming over his lack of consideration, and then fearful of something or another… then terrifically bemused… the emotions flickering across his face faster than Virgil could distinguish, but finally… with a disbelieving, pained shake of the head…
"Oi veh… you are a pain and a half bro…"
Virgil just chuckled in response, knowing full well Ritchie was just as much …if not more of… a grief himself.
"We'll make it Rich, if I have to believe in something… anything… I have to believe in that… in us. No girl, nothing's gonna come between us…"
"If you say so V-man…" Ritchie sustained dubiously.
"I do... I spent an entire mountain figuring it out… for God's sake… I do…" Virgil stood firm, Virgil remained firm for one reason only…
Those memories… if anything else… if nothing else… they prove it… and he could try reminding Ritchie of them… he had to try…
"Just once,
Can we find a way to
finally make it right?
Make the magic last for more than just one
night…
Hours later:
"Right… those were some good times V, I'll treasure them always."
Virgil couldn't believe this, even after all that… all he'd said, done, did… there was still resentment in the air over… something…
Where had he gone wrong?
Ritchie smiled whimsically at him knowing… and somewhat assenting… but not entirely…
It would have to do; Virgil decided with a tired sigh, there was just nothing more for it…
"But yeah… what would I do without you anyways?"
Not everything had cleared away though… even he started to doubt if it ever would…
There was a rift between them now; anyway you looked at it… and only time could tell if it could ever mend or be a permanent version of their Grand Canyon…
Virgil just groaned as he crept over the rest of the way to him, sinking low into Ritchie's chest and arms… safety… a last ditch attempt…
To show him that he wasn't afraid.
"You'd be a hermit, living here all by your lonesome… exactly who else would bother climbing all the way up this far every time you throw a hissy fit?"
"Hey… I resent that! Besides your temper tantrums are so much worse…"
Virgil gasped audibly, "How dare…?"
Their hearts weren't in the act… but perhaps it's the effort that mattered… that despite everything, they still tried.
But it just wasn't as natural as it should be.
It was hard to look indignant while being so comfortable but Virgil pulled it off; even if Ritchie couldn't actually see… he probably heard the small sniff of disdain.
"Are not…" he finally muttered, there just had to be some way to salvage his pride…
"Oh, are too… remember that time when…?"
And any integrity left intact crumbled by evoked memories… the much more pleasurable ones left between them… those that count.
But for how much longer?
Neither knew.
"I
know we could breakthrough it,
If we could just get to it…
Just
once…"
"Ritchie, I like Daisy, I really do…" Virgil whimpered at length.
A rush of air exhaled from above him and a steady hand landed to smooth through his hair gently. "I know you do buddy, I know it…"
Ritchie glanced up longingly at the sky, where the sun was just setting, and the first spec of light --Venus, the Evening and Morning Star-- hung over the horizon. He sighed sorrowfully… and in an assured whisper…
"But we can't be friends anymore."
It's not always our decisions to make… and besides Virgil, you already chose which one of us you'll keep…
We both know it.
But you and I… we would be damned for the admittance of it…
So, if only I… if only you could… if only by chance…
If only just once…
Oh, if only…
"We can
get to it,
Just once…
They were hanging on by just a thread now…
Or more… perhaps.
The End
You can run to me, This might come as quite a shock, I've taken all I can, And
I can't be accused, I hope you
understand, And it's killing me to know
you, You can run to
me, So baby now
it's up to you, Well take me as I am, And
it's killing me to know you, You can run to me, And it's killing me to know you, You can run to me,
You can laugh at
me,
Or you can walk right out that door,
But I can't be your
friend anymore.
But I've
given it a lot of thought,
This thing that's come between us
can't be ignored.
This is where
it's got to end,
Cause I can't be your friend anymore.
Of not being there for you,
How many
nights have you shown up at my door?
That this wasn't in my plans,
But I can't be
your friend anymore.
Without having a chance to hold you,
And all I want to do
is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that
door,
But I can't be your friend anymore.
Do I win or do I lose?
Will my heart fly or
lie broken on the floor?
Cause I want
you to be my man,
But I can't be your friend anymore.
Without having a chance to hold
you,
And all I want to do is show you,
How I really feel
inside.
You can laugh at me,
Or you
can walk right out that door,
But I can't be your friend
anymore.
Without having
a chance to hold you,
And all I want to do is show you,
How I
really feel inside.
You can laugh at
me,
Or you can walk right out that door,
But I can't be just
friends anymore.
DHT, "I Can't Be Your Friend"
Help Central:
If you're still confused as to what went on, here's my source of inspiration and a wonderful explanation (Angelgear helped to straighten me out, the ending was extremely hard):
"Well, I think that a person going through something like that might want to play it off as less than what it is. I think Ritchie really senses that's it's something big, and Virgil, in his heart, knows it is, but because he's in denial and doesn't want to confront it, he might just treat it as something that can be smoothed over and things can return to normal... you know, just burying it, but not really confronting and resolving it…
"And I think that since Ritchie realizes the gravity of it, he resents that Virgil is apparently not going to confront it, which makes him realize also that he's not ready to confront it…
"Sometimes, that's how it is with friends who are so close... Sometimes they just know what the other is feeling... And I think that's the case here, like they almost don't need words with each other... but then, there's the problem. Because even though they might not talk about it, it is just there glaring at them, and trying to ignore it just makes it worse, because they have that unspoken connection that is stronger and louder than anything they say to each other..."
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words of wisdom and encouragement! huggles
Review replies for "A Simple Conversation":
X-parrot- You're my first reviewer and for it you'll always hold a special place in my heart! I'm glad it was sweet, that's what I was going for! "Richie being worried about failing his friend…" Yep, I've always perceived Ritchie as a bit overly sensitive and Virgil the exact opposite, a bit more…oblivious. Yes, more in this category would be great! Go write some yourself, I'll be sure to read! There'd be happy endings? Most definitely! And yes, go see the future episode; it was very good (minus a fat Gear, which was mean of them…)!
And OMG everyone, X-parrot wrote these two stories "Of Heroes and Villains and Partners (Static Shock) and "Achilles' heel" (Smallville) which are just incredible! I am total serious, these stories I admire so much and are what I practically live for! They're smart, funny, and creative! I am so jealous! People, the full weight and content of these stories is indescribable, you just have to go and read for yourselves!
Oh, and a note on the names…you asked why I use Ritchie instead of Richie—actually many people did—so I'll satisfy your curiosity. See, in "Back to Africa", Ritchie states that his family's genealogy is from Ireland/Scotland/British Isles … so I go off and do my research. I found that not only is Ritchie the most commonly used form for the name; it's also the most prevalent for that area and heritage. So I say, hmm, and dig a little further… turns out that Ritchie's name is Rick in the comics (thanks to Angelgear for the info) and both of those—along with Richie, Ricky, and every other form you could imagine—wind down to the basic Richard (Old German "strong ruler"). So you see, I just figure, what the heck! My spell checker prefers Ritchie and I'm too lazy to reset it, I've written so many stories now it doesn't matter, and I prefer the hard 't' to make it stronger… so just use 'suspended disbelief' for now. But thanks for the point out!
Angelgear- is my newest friend yay! I love talking to you over AIM and the encouragement you give is so very much appreciated! I'm glad this story, my very first, was so tasty to you! "Nicely written, very thoughtful, pensive… you stay true to the characters, and I think that's severely lacking in many fanfics." Blushes Well I'm glad you think so and I agree, characterization is so important… especially when they're just confused, hormone raging teenagers. Their friendship and happiness is the most important aspect of this, I'm glad you caught that. Yes, V/R is the best and I'm glad this conversation kept you guessing. bows
He has a new fic out called "Decisions and Distractions" that I betaed for so go read everyone! Go! Shoo! Seriously, it's great, so very well written, and probably even better than mine! And cute, and funny!
Shadow-Spider- I'm glad this made you laugh, I've always valued a good sense of humor!
Feline-Feral- Thank you for the compliment and I hope this add-on was satisfactory. There are low amounts of Static stories, I honestly don't know why though, and I'm working to fix that… but you should help me out!
I'm just me- Okay, here's your sequel master and I'm expecting you to keep your promises of a) loving me forever and b) keep on reviewing because they help me so much and keep me going! Virgil/Ritchie forever!
evafreak- Well here's that sequel you insisted upon, up to standards? Sorry I couldn't stick them together just yet, heck if this writing and love thing were that simple I would've tripped them into a closet and thrown away the key ages ago… but I can't. So please just be patient, come will come… and Dido is awesome, don't forget to check out this song though… I just adore song fics!
Angel Reid- yes, I agree, we need to create a Ritchie fans support group and demand attention! I'll get the t-shirts and posters, we'll protest for fair treatment!
Ellie ET- You liked it? You really liked it? Aww…hugs Personalities were great? You flatter me… And I'm trying to get to the slash…I really am! Patience is virtuous people (but you're welcome to wind me back up whenever you feel I'm slacking).
Queen-Of-Demon-Dragons- …was it really that good? If you say so… and here's the more, hope you enjoyed this as much…
Moonie- Yes that was the point! Glad you caught it! LOL, if you're sad from just liking them then I'm certainly in trouble… Good work will keep up! I promise!
BKJ's Sorceress- V's a guy and we can't always blame guys for their foolhardiness…can we? Just kidding, I know a few girls that are even thicker… But heck, it's lucky for me, cause then I get to do so much more with the story… And hooked huh? Well hopefully I'll keep you caught… thanks for reviewing! You're one of my most faithful ones and quite uplifting!
SilverKitsune1- Wow…you reviewed! Everybody, here is my absolute idol for the Static Shock fandom! worships The 88 constellations came from her own idea of using symbolism with stars and credit also goes to her for the woodlands as a place of "refuge". I'm sorry you didn't like the song in the middle so much but I thought it expressed a lot that I was afraid I missed… though I suppose I could've trimmed it down a bit, I must admit. I hope you like this format a little better, because I absolutely love using lyrics… I figure if they've already said it better, than by all means use such resources… Thank you so much for answering my e-mail too, you made me feel so special and gave me the confidence to write to others and compliment them too! I'm so happy there are such nice people!
Anyone here want a real treat? Go read the one, the only, the original "The Best Laid Plans" (hehe, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry")… this story is so well described and action packed! If you're looking for a laugh then "Just When You Thought You'd Seen Everything" is a must… puts the fear of World History and oddly styled hair in all of us! Lastly, "Into the Woods" is the original Static Shock favorite… the fluffiness, the aches and pains, the bug bites… absolutely perfect in capturing that summer hiking spirit! So go read!
Kazima Kuwabara- (I love Yuyu Hakusho!) And I totally agree they should get together, and they will…eventually…
Angelic-Dragon-Wings- Can't tell if you're being sarcastic, my apologizes, but if you didn't really know there was a way to review then I'm glad you know now so you can review to this one! blushes
Mystic-fox- bows Thank you, thank you very much!
Ivy Adrena- I'm sorry the review button was so mean! I'll try to make it behave better but it really has a mind of its own sometimes…and there's only so much I can do since I still need it to partially like me… Here's the sequel you wanted so badly! …And you don't have to kill anyone really, just give them a good talking to…then beat down…
And my appreciation to anyone else who reviews as well! Kudos to you all! Always and forever!