This is my second fic for this site, once again a Balthier/Vaan pairing. Rated M for a good reason. Don't blame me you were warned! I don't own em', I just write about em'. Please review, it's only polite!

Sweat and Tears

Chapter one: The Desert

They had been trudging through the hot sand for so long that that Balthier's thoughts began to wonder. The group didn't talk much while they were on the move, focusing on fighting off any fiends that came too close, and everyone was too tired and hot to really want to talk anyway. Everyone except the boy. The pirate watched the blonde run ahead of the others, seeming unfazed by the heat. Of course he had grown up here; still Balthier could not imagine having so much energy. He didn't like the boy very much, he was too eager and innocent, and he always seemed to get himself (and the others) into trouble. Not to mention the fact that he never shut up. It annoyed him that he always seemed to be thinking about the boy, but it was just because he annoyed the pirate so…that's all.

At least that's what he thought right up until the moment he saw Vaan fall to the blow of a worgen. Something in his stomach clenched tightly at seeing the boy's limp figure hitting the sand. Confused by both Vaan's fall and his own emotions he made no move to raise the boy, but instead only stood there stock still, staring at the boy while the others fought on behind him. It was Basch who finally, with an aggravated look in the pirate's direction, slung a raise spell in the boy's direction. Balthier showed no emotion in his face, only in his eyes, and no one but Fran noticed it. Out of instinct he blocked a blow by one of the worgens, and rejoined the battle. He didn't dare look back in the boy's direction.

By the time they finally returned to the Strahl, the pirate was in a strange mood. He went straight to the shower, eager to wash away the day's sand, dust, and sweat. As he stood under the spray of hot water he tried to block the image of Vaan being KO'd from his mind. Again there was that strange, unwelcome feeling in the pit of his stomach. He braced his hands against the wall in front of him and closed his eyes. What the hell is wrong with me? He thought to himself. The image of Vaan's blonde hair hitting the sand, specks of blood and sand all through it rose in his mind again, and before he realized what he was doing his fist slammed into the tile four times. He turned off the water, now needing to go and cure his broken hand and wrist; he didn't stop to clean off the bloody broken tile. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked down the hall, not noticing the trail of blood droplets that marked a path to his room.

There were two showers aboard the ship, one for the girls and the other one shared by Balthier, Basch, and Vaan. They had developed a routine of shower use, which let the pirate claim the first shower as his, since it was after all; his ship and he did care more about being clean than the others did. Basch was next, since Vaan could have cared less whether he even got a shower or not. The pirate usually informed Basch when he had finished, but when after forty-five minutes he had not showed up in the main room the captain went to see for himself what in hell was taking the man so long to shower. He was a little annoyed to see that Balthier had left the shower, but had not bothered to inform him that he was finished. The captain was nearly finished with his shower when he noticed the broken wall tile, a little blood still clinging to it. It struck him as strange, and he assumed that it must have been Balthier who had broken it since he had been the last one in there, and the boy wouldn't have dared to even move anything aboard the ship he respected so much. The captain did not let his mind linger on the tile, he tried not to involve himself in his comrade's personal business, but the pirate had been acting different that day.

After curing his hand as much as his weak healing skills would allow him, Balthier pulled on his leather pants, he was pulling on a new crisp white shirt when he heard a knock on his door. Assuming it was his partner he opened the door without bothering to button the shirt. He was surprised to find that it was not the viera who now stood before him, but Vaan. "Um…Balthier…I was wondering…if…well…if," stammered the boy, looking at his feet. Balthier crossed his arms and waited for the boy to spit out whatever it was he was trying so desperately to say. "Are you…ok?" This question shocked the pirate a little, "Why in all Ivalice would I not be ok?" he snorted at the boy, taking his irritation out on him. "I don't know," the boy snapped back with more than a little sarcasm, "maybe because there's a trail of blood leading to your room?" The pirate looked down to see that there was in fact a trail of bloody drops coming in from the hall and up to the side of his bed. Unknowingly, he had moved over while examining the trail, granting Vaan unhindered sight of the blood covered towel lying in the floor by the pirate's bed. "Jesus, Balthier!" exclaimed the boy as he pushed past the pirate and picked up the towel, "What the hell happened?" Balthier did not answer him, but took the towel from him and threw it into the hamper, "Get out," he demanded softly but seriously. The look of concern in the boy's eyes did not escape him, and only made the strange feeling in his stomach return. After slamming the door in the boy's face, he collapsed on his bed, trying to ignore the emotions raging in his skull.

"You'd best see about Balthier," an angry Vaan told Fran as he walked past her on his way to his room, "he's bleeding." The viera nodded, wondering at the boy's angry tone, and headed off the master bedroom of the Strahl. She knocked, but did not wait for a reply before entering the pirate's room. "Are you injured?" she asked, knowing the answer by the trail of blood spotted earlier by Vaan. "It's nothing," he said closing his eyes, for it to be nothing it hurt an awful lot. "May I see it?" questioned the viera. Balthier reluctantly held out his arm for her to examine, he knew she wouldn't leave him alone until he let her look at it. "I did not notice this injury on the way back from the desert," said the viera, and the pirate knew it was leading to a question, "You were injured once we returned to the ship?" Ah, there it is he thought. "I punched a wall," he told her, his trademark smirk crossing his lips. Fran cast a few healing spells, more complex than the simple cure that the pirate had cast on himself. He winced as the bones in his hand and wrist knit back together and the broken skin across his knuckles healed. "It's the boy who has you in this state, is it not?" she asked. This annoyed him greatly, "Why in hell would you think that, Fran?" "I know you well, Balthier. I saw you in the desert when the boy fell. Apparently I have discovered your feeling toward him before you have." She was staring at him patiently. His mouth hung open in surprise, too shocked by her response to even yell at her. Was she implying that the leading man was gay? "I do not have any feelings toward that brat whatsoever," he explained angrily as he rose from the bed and stood with his back to her, "It doesn't matter to me if he dies or not." "You may tell yourself that, Balthier," she replied as she walked back over to open the door, "but you know that nothing is farther from the truth." When the pirate turned around she was gone. He ignored the feeling in his stomach and finished dressing, being in the pilot's chair of his ship would make him feel better.

But damnit all to hell if the boy wasn't in the cockpit when he arrived, his legs slung over the side of the co-pilot's chair. An aggravated sigh escaped his lips, but he said nothing as he slid into his seat and began to take the Strahl off autopilot. He almost yelled at Vaan and told him to leave, but that clenching feeling returned to his stomach when he thought of him leaving. He tried to concentrate on flying, but knew that the boy was watching him. When he finally cast a glance in the teen's direction the boy quickly looked away, telling the pirate that he had been staring at him, hoping that the pirate wouldn't notice, for some time. When Vaan looked back at him he saw that the older man was still staring at him, and their eyes met. Unspoken words hung between them, and the feeling in the pirate's stomach was raging at full force. Balthier swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat as he realized that Vaan's gaze had dropped to his lips. With one quick fluid motion he was grabbing the boy, pulling him into his lap and kissing him. They clawed at each other as if their lives depended on it, desperate to get closer to one another. Finally the pirate had to come up for air, "Go to my room, NOW!" he told the boy, who without saying anything disappeared from the cockpit. Balthier waited a moment, his thoughts and emotions raging. What in hell am I doing? He thought. I just kissed Vaan…gods! Why did I do that? But he knew he was about to do more…Fran had been right.

When he entered his room Vaan's back was to him, he spun the boy around and kissed him, wanting to devour the boy whole. "Bal…Balthier…" stammered the boy, causing the pirate to stop kissing the boy's neck and look up at him. Neither said anything for a moment, they just stood there panting for breath and looking each other in the eyes. Still staring at the blonde silently, Balthier removed his vest and began unbuttoning his shirt. He never got a chance to finish the task because Vaan lunged forward and ripped the shirt open, sending buttons flying in all directions. Balthier picked the boy up, Vaan's legs wrapping themselves around his waist. He slammed the boy's back into the wall and held him there, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth. When Vaan moaned the pirate's name it proved too much for him and he flung the boy onto the bed. He positioned himself over the boy, and any remaining clothes were soon on the floor. He gave Vaan a questioning look, silently asking him if he was sure, and no sooner had the boy nodded his consent did Balthier thrust himself into the boy with all the force he had. A cry of pain erupted from the blonde's lips that soon turned to the sound of pleasure. They were both so worked up that it didn't last long, and as he hit his moment of release Vaan screamed out the other man's name and the pirate's arm shot out to silence him, knocking a lamp to the floor with a crash. At the sound of the crash Basch, (whose room was right next to Balthier's) ran into the room, not expecting the scene before him, but Balthier couldn't stop as his climax came. He collapsed onto the boy and turned to face the shocked captain. "Is there a reason you're still here, Captain?" he asked, not able to suppress a grin. Basch said nothing as he closed the door.

"Did that just happen?" asked the dazed boy under him as Balthier rolled over onto his side. "I'm afraid so," said the pirate suddenly becoming serious. "What happens now?" questioned the boy, his nervousness obvious in his voice. "I don't know, Vaan," he said, wrapping a protective arm around the boy and pulling him close to him for another kiss. They laid there staring at each other, both wondering the same thing, I wonder if he loves me like I love him, but neither had the courage to ask.