Hmm what to say... this monologue or whatever you may call it was written a while ago so I decided since I was bored... to put it on here for the heck of it! So read, review, and flame whatever you choose
Summary: Was Captain Hook really as evil as everyone thought, or merely just an ordinary pirate misunderstood? His side of the story – one shot
"Keep away stupid crocodile SHOO! Oh am I on? Hello my name is Captain Hook. No no wait don't leave! Listen, I know you think I'm terrible, perhaps a bit strange and possibly that I hate Peter Pan but that is all wrong. Why you ask? Well no one ever asked me why it is all wrong. I suppose I could explain it to you... given the chance. I knew that would get your attention. Now where to begin? Just take a seat... yes I know it is rather dirty in this cave but I really don't have anywhere else to go. Well this is the way I see the events you so badly understood. I mean no not understood ha ha my dear listener you're very smart just were given the wrong information.
"Well me and oh wonder brat . . . oops silly me I meant me and Peter Pan, had a little falling out a while back. You see he grew up (well actually stayed the same, but well, you know) and he started thinking maybe he could visit the world. Not this world of course, but the world beyond Never land. Now mind you this is back when I had all my crew on board and that fabulous moustache. Peter was living with his lost boys and he took his little trip.
"The way I heard it from Tiny... I mean Tinkerbelle, he lost his shadow again. (You see those damn shadows never stay with you in the other world.) He came back very frustrated because... well wouldn't you be if you lost something that important? Yes I thought as much. So within the next few days he headed back to that strange place they call London and met a girl Dorothy. What's that you say? Oh right it was Wendy, sorry I often get my stories mixed up. Anyway she sewed his shadow back on for him. DAMN THAT CROCODILE! GO AWAY!
"Oh sorry about that, the blasted creature shows up everywhere ever since that monster Peter... I mean nice little boy accidentally fed him my hand. Ah well different story for a different time. Now where was I? Oh yes. Well, it turns out Wendy had two younger fools – I mean brothers that she took along. Their names were John and Michael. See Peter brought them all here (with a little help from Tiny – Tinkerbelle) to Never land. Now things are a little different here in Never land than how they are in the other world. Take for example, you never grow old. That's what I meant about Peter never growing up. He always stayed the little pain in the as—I mean angel he was.
"Well on with the story, as they were coming in through the clouds, I saw them. Now a while back, Peter had stolen a couple cannonballs from me. How he stored them throughout the trip to London is beyond me but as he was coming in he started throwing these cannonballs at me and my crew! See, I don't know about you but I had to try and stop him from ruining my wonderful ship! You would do the same if you were in my position. What you wouldn't? Well that's why I am a captain because I make hard decisions. So as he was doing that, the crew acted as if under attack. Naturally they started shooting (what cannons he didn't steal from us) back at him. Little did we know at the time he had three annoying... did I say annoying? I meant wonderful little guests with him. After seeing them through my telescope I shouted orders to have the crew stop shooting at them. Then Pan understood we only acted in self defense and left us alone.
"Hm let's see here, what happened next. . . Oh I remember. Peter introduced his new friends to the clueless idiots... I mean the Lost Boys. And you know how it goes, she tells stories, hangs around with the Indians ... oh right there was a rumor going around that I captured the Chief's daughter isn't there? Well that's poppycock that is. I merely invited her to one of my favorite spots off the coast of the island. It wasn't my fault that Peter showed up and thought I was trying to drown her, when she had simply fallen out of the boat. At any rate while they were with the Indians people seem to think I sent my first mate Smee to kidnap Tinkerbelle. Well that's not what happened at all. Smee only saw little Tinkerbelle watching them in the village, plainly feeling lonesome. They talked for a little bit and the little bit—I mean little fairy said she was cold. Naturally Smee was being polite and invited her to the ship to keep warm. Now to make sure she didn't freeze on the way there, he put her in his hat.
"When I saw she was there I told Smee, I said to him, 'You'd better put her right back where you found her! What would Peter think of this?' But Smee told me how cold she was and I let her stay out of the kindness in my heart. What is that laughter for? Dear listener try to keep the unkind rumors of my past out of your mind as you hear this. After all, I'm telling this to you so you will understand how wrong everyone has had me. Well Tinkerbelle wandered around the ship as I discussed the next day's schedule with Smee. Understand this, I found her stuck in a glass case a little while later and let her out, but not before I said goodbye. It was then Smee told me that Tinkerbelle had informed him of where the Lost Boys lived. So I decided to drop by with my crew and maybe meet the visitors I had heard of. Now after overhearing a little argument between Peter and Wendy, I decided I would try and cheer everyone up. Since I thought Peter wouldn't want to join because he was mad, I only took Wendy, John, Michael, and the Lost Boys back to my ship. I suggested we play a little game to make them happy and John thought 'Pirates and Indians' would be an entertaining pastime.
"Everyone warmed to the idea and nominated me and my crew as the Indians. We then tied the Lost boys, and Peter's guests to a pole on deck. As for the whole thing about me being mean and sending Peter a bomb wrapped as a present is completely absurd because I did nothing of the sort I assure you. It was then, Peter flew to my ship, bless his little imagination, and thought I was trying to hurt them! He started fighting me and my crew while having Tinkerbelle tell those poor adorable kids I was trying to kill them! God only knows what he did with my crew but he sent—OUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
crashing sounds come from beside him
"I can't believe the nerve of that beast! Stupid crocodile pushing a clock near me when he knows how much I dislike them. It's a good thing I have that hook or it might still be ticking! Nonetheless where was I? Right, Peter sent me off my ship after trying to kill me with his sword. And then this damned crocodile found me and chased me all the way here, where I've been hiding for the past few years.
"You see I am just misunderstood. How was I supposed to know the other world was crying for a hero and would believe the young hotshot and his wild imagination? Well that concludes my story. Ah yes I knew you would agree with me. Now promise me next time you hear a ridiculous story where the 'bad' person sounds outrageously aggressive, you will remember that there is always two sides to a story."