In Love With Him
She didn't want him to leave. He said she could call him while he was away, but she didn't want him to leave.It was a feeling she had deep inside herself, that this would be the last time she ever saw him.
"Please stay" she pleaded, looking up into her boyfriend's blue mako-infused eyes. "I don't want you to go again. "
"I know Aerith." Zack told her.
It bothered him too, only being able to spend time with her between missions, which wasn't much with all that was going on lately.
"But I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise. "
He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek, then turned to leave, but Aerith suddenly grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Please. " she said again, "You don't have to leave until the morning right, can't you stay one more night?"
He bit his lip as he considered it His heart told him to stay with her, to forget the mission with Sephiroth but logic intervened.He knew he had to get this mission done, it was his duty as a SOLDIER, and he couldn't afford to be distracted from it.
"Won't you're mom mind?" he asked.
He had met Elmyra once when they had officially began dating, and while he knew she liked and approved of him, but him staying over implied that various things might happen. Aerith frowned when she realized that he did indeed have a good point, but smiled sweetly at him.
"Please? We can around it"
He still wasn't fully convinced that it was a great idea, but he always had such a hard time saying "no" to that angelic face deep green eyes of hers. She had him wrapped around her finger, but he didn't really mind.
"Alright" he said finally giving in making her smile brighten. "But how am I gonna get past your mom?"
"I'll leave my window open" she assured him.
So they put their little plan into action, and that night they made love for the first time. She fell asleep in his arms to the sound of his soft breathing and his beating heart, but not before she heard three little words from him: "I love you".
"I love you too Zack," She whispered as she rested her head on his bare chest. "I always will."
He left for Nibelheim the next morning, never to return to Midgar.
"I love you" Cloud told her.
The silence in the room was awkward for both of them. In reality only a few seconds had passed, but to Cloud Strife it felt like an eternity. He had made a mistake, he could tell by her expression. When he told her how he felt moments ago she seemed rather shocked and surprised, but that quickly changed into an expression of pain. She lowered her head to hide unbidden tears.
She didn't want to look at him, especially into his eyes. His mako infused eyes reminded her too much of Zack. From the moment he fell through the roof of the church, she kept seeing Zack. Even though she reminded herself that Zack was dead, she never fully convinced herself. She tried to start life anew, look past their similarities to find the real Cloud, but it didn't work. These differences were never more apparent then when he said that he was in love with her; it just hurt.
She had known that Zack was gone for a while now, and she even told Cloud that she had moved on, but when she heard those three words again she realized she really hadn't.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, making his face fall. "But I'm still in love with Zack, even though he's gone. "
She didn't want to hurt him like this, but she had to be truthful with him.
"I'm sorry, " she said again before she ran out of the room crying.
That was when his heart began aching.
"Cloud. . . "
It was that voice again, the one he kept hearing in his head. The first time was right before he helped blow up a mako reactor with Barret, and again when he fell into the church in the Sector 5 slums. There had been a time or two after that, but he hadn't heard it in a while.
The voice came again, "Cloud"
"Who are you?" he asked, curious.
He heard a deep sigh, then a dark figure enrobed in light appeared, a stark contrast to the white backdrop of his dream. This dark figure was a bit taller than him with black spiky hair that was slicked back with only one lock that refused to stay. Immediately, Cloud recognized the black SOLDIER First Class uniform that the man was wearing.
"You really don't remember, do you?" he said calmly, but also sounded hurt.
Cloud couldn't really make sense what this man was saying. Before Cloud could ask what he meant, he spoke again.
"I'm Zack."
It was a bit clearer now, this was Aerith's first love that she told him about, but why did this dark-haired man insist on talking to him?
"I saw what you said to her earlier, " Zack told him.
Cloud frowned. Was he here to tell him to back off and leave her alone?
"You really do love her don't you?"
"Yes" he answered truthfully, wishing that she could love him back.
"Then I have a bit of a favor to ask."he said calmly. "Protect her for me," Zack told him. "I can't anymore, so I'm counting on you"
That certainly wasn't what Cloud had been expecting, but he nodded, knowing he would try.
Cloud blamed himself for why she distanced herself from him after that. He wasn't sure if any of their other friends traveling with them noticed it, but if they did none of them asked about it. At first he didn't mind, he knew that she was only trying to stay away so things wouldn't be more hurtful to each other, or just plain awkward, but when she left them entirely to go summon Holy he blamed himself, and knew that he never should have confessed his feelings. It just made everything worse.
He had failed to protect her when she needed it most; she died because he wasn't there in time. Sephiroth had killed her, and it was all his fault. He didn't cry as he waded out into the lake carrying Aerith's corpse, and he just stood there silently as he watched her slowly sink down to the bottom. He just felt so empty. So alone. So weak. A failure. He never should've met her in the first place, then she would be alive and safe in Midgar, and he never would have had his heart broken.
"I'm sorry, " he whispered.
He had failed to keep his promise to Zack, he failed to protect the one they both loved.
"It's alright,"he heard Zack say. "I'll take care of her now"
Not once did Zack blame him for anything, but when Cloud recovered his full memory, he just felt guiltier for not being able to keep one of the promises he made to his old friend, or even remember what he told him before he died, even though he promised not to forget.
His guilt would haunt him for a long time.
Author's Notes
I actually wrote this a while ago, just never got around to finish editing it. Anyway this is my first Clerith fic, and I am planning to write some more but it will be more of the Zerith-Clerith love triangle (I just can't seem to find enough of that to satisfy me). A big thank you to Chibipinkbunny for bettaing this for me!