A/N: After too long it looks like it's time to finish this. Consider this back in progress, starting with a slight rewrite as of 21.10.18. Hope it's been worth the wait.

Prologue, Letters

It was another of their stupid jokes.

It had to be.

They knew how much she wanted it; he knew. And she had been stupid enough to tell him.

She read the letter again. She looked at the shiny badge in her hand. She read the letter again.

She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or spit.

That was the problem; the whole thing was horribly plausible.

It was too easy to forge a signature, and she was sure they could easily get hold of a badge. Yet, deep down, Lily had a feeling that it wasn't a joke. And she knew why.

She closed her eyes, swallowed and tried not to let the tears fall. The hardest thing to take was that it was her fault.

Of course it was her fault.

James looked at the piece of metal in his hand, 'Padfoot, you're a twat,' he called, lobbing it casually across the room and into the bin, followed by the crumpled piece of parchment that had enfolded it.

Sirius looked up, 'Huh?'

'That wasn't funny, not in the slightest,' James told him grimly, going back to staring out of the window.

'What?' Sirius asked again, curiosity pulling him towards the bin to see what James had thrown and why, 'Bloody hell, Prongs!'

James didn't so much as blink, 'Leave it, Padfoot.'

Sirius bent and picked the badge out of the scraps of parchment and sweet wrappers nestling in the bin.

'I said, leave it,' James ordered, anger rising in his voice, 'It wasn't funny,' he said tensely, through gritted teeth.

'Prongs, mate, I didn't send it: none of us would,' Sirius replied, concern breaking slowly across his face.

James' head turned slowly and he stood up, anger burning off him in waves; sparks shot out of his wand.

Sirius stared and slowly raised his hands placatingly, 'Merlin, Prongs! Look, I-'

'ENOUGH!' James yelled, his face darkening with fury, 'I've had ENOUGH!'

Sirius almost replied stonily that Remus had once said the same, but bit his tongue before he said something unforgivable, now wasn't the time to lose his temper. This wasn't about a piece of parchment and a shiny lump of metal anymore.

For a moment tears brimmed in seventeen year-old, hazel eyes, a mug of cold tea sitting on the table shattered, but James was already striding across the room, slamming the door behind him.

A large black dog clambered onto the sofa where it curled into a ball, ignoring the drip drip of cold tea soaking into the carpet.