Felicity was starting to get worried. She had told herself again and again that Oliver just needed some time to process things, that surely everything would get back to normal after a while. But the opposite seemed to be the case.
She was getting the distinct impression that Oliver had given up on sleeping all together. He was spending his days rebuilding the city as the CEO of Queen Consolidated and his nights fighting down the never-ending crime spree in the broken city. She knew he was barely scratching the tip of the iceberg.
Just now, she was telling him what she had dug up on one of the new crime lords who had taken over half the Glades since the earthquake.
"His base of operations seems to be in one of the few factories that are still standing over by..."
While talking, she had turned around with her chair to face him and saw that he was sitting on one of the drawers, his head leaned against the wall and his eyes closed. He didn't give any indication that he'd noticed that she had stopped talking. In fact, he seemed to be fast asleep.
Cautiously, Felicity walked over to him. She looked at his sleeping form and was taken aback by his beauty. He looked tired beyond belief, with huge circles under his eyes and yet he had something about him that just took her breath away. Very carefully, as if approaching a dangerous animal, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She was ready to jump back at any moment if it turned out that she had startled him.
Surprisingly, he just opened his eyes and looked around dazedly. She thought that this reaction to being woken up unexpectedly spoke volumes about his current condition.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that last part?"
He at least had the decency to look sheepish at this admission that he might have dozed off while she was talking. Felicity couldn't help but think that it was an adorable look on him, despite everything.
"Oliver." She somehow managed to say a lot of things in that one word.
"I'm fine."
Felicity arched an eyebrow.
"That's probably the least convincing lie you have ever told me. And that's saying quite a lot, considering some of the ludicrous things you've come up with."
Oliver sighed. Why was it always more difficult to keep his mask up with Felicity? She seemed to see right through him. Or maybe he just wasn't as careful hiding with her as he was with everybody else in his life.
He wasn't fine. He couldn't remember the last time he had a good night's sleep. He was doubting if he would be able to function in his day job or his night job if he continued like this. But he didn't really see another course than trying to pull himself together and see it through. Asking for help had never really been his thing.
He realized that Felicity had said something else while he was lost in thought.
"Sorry, what?"
Felicity gave him a glare that said "Fine, huh?" just as clearly as if she had actually said it.
"I was saying, for the second time, that the lair of this new crime lord wannabe is next to the crater over by..."
Oliver was losing track again. Since he started his crusade he had never really been plagued by self-doubt, but now he was wondering if there was any point to all of this. The task of rebuilding the Glades just seemed too big, the little they could do too small to make a difference. If only he weren't so damn tired, maybe it would all still make sense.
Felicity was in the middle of explaining the location for the third time when Oliver, still perched on top of the drawer, dropped his head to rest his forehead on her shoulder without any warning. Felicity was so surprised by his action that she almost jumped back. She wasn't really sure what to make of this. Oliver didn't offer any explanation, she could just hear him exhale a long breath. They remained frozen like that for a few minutes while Felicity pondered what to do.
Before the tragedy in the Glades, Oliver always seemed to her to be bursting with energy, every muscle ready to spring into action in a moment's notice. But now all the fight had left him, he appeared to be completely relaxed. Cautiously, Felicity put a hand on his head, still resting on her shoulder, and began to softly stroke his head. It felt like the right thing to do.
Oliver was just as surprised as Felicity by his action. He thought for a split second that this could lead down a dangerous road. He was loosing his steel grip on his emotions and he was very afraid of all the things that would come pouring out once he opened that door. But he just couldn't make himself care anymore. This felt right. It felt like he would finally be able to rest if he had Felicity by his side.
