There was once a boy I swore I loved.
He had red hair and intense, beautiful green eyes. Always so quiet. He kept to himself, and never spoke unless spoken to. But when he did speak he had a beautiful sense of humor, a wonderful way of making a place for himself without shoving it into someone's face.
Most people forgot about him.
I didn't.
I had spoken to him whenever I had the chance. I loved hearing him reply. He was the type of man I loved. The type that wouldn't mind letting me wear the pants in the family and never complain if I made some cold soup for him. He didn't need to stand out, in his world he was glad to meld into the shadows.
But then one day he changed.
One day he waltzed around town, showing off with his shadow tricks. A talking shadow he gave a voice and a name. He needed to suddenly show off, burn brighter than the rest. I don't know what happened to that quiet boy I loved. He had become something terrible. Something attention-seeking, unhappy with how he viewed himself and only wished to make others envy him.
He left town one day. And he was gone for a long, long time. But when he came back he had other women with him. So he had become that kind of person with a girl in each arm. It was becoming more and more disgusting to me. Yet he somehow kept that same blank expression. His sister had told me he's much happier now, and I believe it. He seems happy and repulsing. And he still does that ridiculous shadow trick.
That's all he is now. All shadows and tricks. I bet those women don't even know the real him. I bet they would never see him how I saw him. A quiet soul content with his place in life.
But now he's just disgusting.
Honestly I had never been more terrified than when I left.
Walking down that path out of Tenel, the town I grew up in, scared me. I was leaving behind my family, and really the only friend I had. But she started to hate me. I tried to explain to her that the talking shadow was no trick but she wouldn't hear anything about it.
It kind of hurt me. To know she'd instantly assume I was going for the worse thing she could imagine. Though really I had to sell my soul, against my will, to a King of Evil.
Yet somehow that King became more of a friend than she ever was. Yes, he's obnoxious. Yes, he's a jerk. Yes, he's annoying as hell- I already kind of said that, hadn't I?
But he taught me to not hide anymore. Not necessarily 'taught' yet rather forced me to. He pushed me out of the shadows and made me face the world.
And made the world face me.
And because of him I'm not afraid of the world anymore. I'm not terrified to speak to people like I was. I can speak up for myself. I can look someone in the eyes and tell them exactly what I think of them.
Though if he knew that he'd hold it over my head for an eternity.
Though it makes me wonder why she preferred me to stay hidden. Was she afraid of me? Offended? I assume I'll never know. And you know what? I don't care. I don't care anymore because now I have friends. Real friends, who like me despite my faults and complaints. Who don't mind me pushing my way to the foreground.
Who don't mind me saying 'Look at me exist World'.
And I hope she knows that now. I hope she knows that I'm happier now. No, I wouldn't say I hate her. I don't even dislike her. She just needs to know that I can be so much more than that kid who never talks to anyone and never speaks for himself.
And if she hates me for it so be it.
I know plenty of people who love me for it.