Literally the quickest fanfic I've written in my life lmao. Takes place in an alternate universe, where Kabuto and Sasuke deal drugs (because that's what they would be doing if they weren't ninja) It's their real-world equivalent.

I really hated Kabuto at first. *AT FIRST* Now I think he's just a sad man with nowhere to go.

ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS/QUOTES FROM THE MANGA THAT I REMEMBERED KINDA

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Every morning it was 'Kabuto's a fucking bastard!' 'Kabuto hurry up you slow idiot!' 'Kabuto this,' and 'Kabuto that,' and nobody ever gave him a break, because nobody loved him, not even once.

Actually that was a lie, he thought. He was loved once, by his adopted mother, and perhaps maybe even twice, before he was found discarded on the outskirts of a village.

He slipped on his black baggy pants, and black t-shirt, and black shoes, getting ready for another bleak day. There were a few clouds in the sky, nothing too dark, but it was extremely grey out.

He turned the key of his apartment and locked the door of his small home. It wasn't really a home—not really. It was a motel, on the edge of Konoha. It was just a temporary home.

'You're late for the dealing.' Sasuke said, appearing beside him suddenly.

'I had a rough night…but I'm here now.' He replied.

He was still the same boy despite his more masculine and prominent features. His hair was still white, and he still wore the same glasses he had when he was a child. And he was still a child at heart, but it was concealed beautifully by his drug deals and murder schemes.

Sasuke grew angry at him and shoved a pistol at his abdomen. He felt a familiar cold touch of metal hit his skin, and he began to fidget away from his grasp.

'Don't be late tomorrow.' He threatened. 'It's bad enough you don't ever seem to make deals past 9… your little bedtime shit is starting to get annoying.'

He should have known better than upset the Uchiha so early in the morning.

'Whatever,' He replied, 'Let's deliver before Orochimaru shows up. I've got to go work today.' He brushed past him and they continued down the parking lot.

'Fuck your job, this is your job.' Sasuke replied, as they rushed down towards his car. 'This shit pays, not some part time job at McDonalds.'

Kabuto shrugged and slipped into his car. He was right, he probably wouldn't even show up at work. He'd probably stay at home crying again because he needed it. He needed time to recharge after interacting with people. That was who he was—like a little rechargeable engergizer bunny.

People at work hated him because he broke the rules, and he stole money. But he couldn't help it. He just couldn't—he was just like Sasuke. They were all just lost boys following the captains orders.

'Where's the drugs?' Kabuto asked. 'You better have put them in the trunk. We can't mess up this deal Uchiha, we're dead if we do.'

Sasuke replied with a grunt.

'Uchiha! Did you put them in the trunk?' He asked angrily.

'Yes! And keep your god damn mouth shut before we get arrested.'

It was a big delivery today; crystals, and green plants, and spoonfuls of love— it was all sitting on their trunk, waiting to be used by people like him.

They pulled up slowly on a gravel pathway, the sun behind grey clouds, and the dirt road crunching beneath rubber wires. The telephone wires hung low above their heads, and the angry storm was threatening to move by and eat them up.

'That's them? The Mist right?' He said, pointing towards an idle black car.

Sasuke nodded and jerked the wheel towards them. 'We should have known better than to do Orichimarus dirty work. If he doesn't like our cooking he'll rip us apart.'

Kabuto eyed the idle black car. It was surrounded by two other men with side riffles. To them, Kabuto and Sasuke probably looked like street rat dealers with no good meth or heroin, but Orochimaru and himself spent hours on end perfecting labs.

'I hear he's a fucking psycho.' Kabuto said, eyeing one of the gun men. 'Heard he killed one of his men cause they joked about his shoes.'

'Just keep quiet, there's nothing we can do now.'

'Whatever, as long as I get home before 9.'

Sasuke scoffed. 'What's this before 9 shit you always pull anyway, huh? Why do you always gotta be home before nine?'

Kabuto closed his eyes and placed his glasses down for a second. Sasuke was draining him, and all he wanted was to go home and take hits on hits to ease the pain. But from the back of his mind, he couldn't pull away from his first memories as a child—his adopted mother giving him kisses and telling him to go to bed.

After all, she was the one who gave him his name. She was the only person who had ever loved him in his entire life, until that day she was killed.

Nono. And he said her name every night like a prayer.

How could he possibly forget the name of the woman who cared for him?

'It's a long story.'

Sasuke laughed. 'You better tell it now. It could be your last.'

Kabuto looked out into the distance towards the dark black car. 'My life was hell. I had no one… what can I say?'

'It seems a little irrelevant.' Sasuke replied. 'No wonder you ended up in a hell like this.'

'Whatever,' Kabuto said. 'Let's just get this shit done with.'

The two of them stepped out of the car, lugging over a large crate of the drugs. A tall man, with black glasses and a bright yellow tie came out from the vehicle. He strode over and tossed them a case.

'Ten grand.' He said, snapping his fingers. His two gun men associates lifted the crate, but Sasuke scowled, and put his foot on the crate preventing them from taking it.

'You said fifteen.'

The yellow tied man turned around and started to laugh. 'Hey, don't worry. I'll send you the five if the goods satisfy.'

'The goods satisfy regardless. We need the other five.'

Kabuto interjected, 'Sasuke, let's just go, we don't need the five…' He said, sensing the tension. Trouble was awaiting them from the corner of the bend.

Sasuke whispered harshly towards him. 'I need the five… I've got a life too Kabuto. Maybe even a family… a family of my own. So I need the five.'

The man from the mist laughed again. 'Oh! Temper temper my little boy.. don't be getting hasty.' He skipped over towards them, revealing a stern grin and one ear that had blood splatter all over it. FAN

'We made a deal.' Sasuke growled.

'Well that obvious you little rascal. ' he teased, walking over to Kabuto. His fingers landed on his neck, and the hairs stood up straight.

'How about we make another deal?'

Sasuke spat. 'I'm not that stupid.'

He froze.

'Ya callin' me stupid?'

'Sasuke, let's leave… come on… I'll give you some of my share.'

'Like hell I'm making another deal with you.' He spat again.

'Sasuke!'

'Kabuto, shut up! Just wait in the car okay?'

'No..no, I won't.'

'Just go!'