So Sudden
A/N Based on true happenings.
Disclaimer: I don't own RENT.
I can't believe it. I simply can't.
Mark was always the strongest, healthiest of all of us. I don't even remember when he had a cold last time. I've always thought that he'll be the one who lives the longest. That one day, when we all will already gone, he'll get marry, have a family, and years later he'll tell stories about the times when he lived in East Village to his grandchildren. And now, he's gone.
It happened too quickly to understand. Lord, a week ago he seemed totally ok! Well, he was a little fatigable, but we said it was because he worked too much. We didn't care about it, and he didn't examine himself.
He even came to see my gig last Saturday. Back then, he seemed healthy. Later all the seven of us went to the Life, and had a few drinks. We stayed after midnight, joked and laughed. We didn't know that that was our last outing with Mark.
The Hell started on Wednesday morning. I knew something was wrong when Mimi and I emerged from our room. It wasn't early – we never get up early. Both of us work during the night, and get into bed in late hours. So Mark, who worked in daytime, always got up at least two hours before us. But on that morning, he was nowhere. There was no smell of coffee in the air, no newspaper on the table.
'Maybe he got a girl last night' I tried to joke to cover my fears. 'Stay here, I'll have a look what he is doing' I told Mimi. She nodded, and sat down to the old couch. I could see on her face that she also felt that something wasn't ok.
I went into Mark's room, covering my eyes. 'Hey, what if there's really a girl?' I thought.
'Marky, time to get up' I told him. 'The sun is shining, and you have to be at work in two hours…' I couldn't continue my sentence. He pulled the blanket off of his face, and looked at me. He was so pale.
'Rog, please, leave me alone' his voice was weakly 'I don't feel well. I think I'll call sick' He waved, and then I was them.
'Mark, how did get them on your arm?' I sat down to the edge of his bed, and grabbed his arm. There were bruises-like patches on that. He looked at them.
'I-I don't know' he looked confused. 'They weren't there last night.'
'Stay here' I ordered. 'I'll get a doctor for you. It's not ok.'
There's one good part of being infected with HIV: you know many doctors, and if you have some luck, you have something friendship-like thing with some of them. I called the doctor who treated us. He was there in less than an hour.
He looked at Mark, and referred him to the hospital immediately.
The next few hours were horrible. I called the others, and they got to the hospital in no time, for nothing. There was nothing to do. We just sat there, knowing absolutely nothing, just waiting.
Mark's doctor came to inform us a little bit after five o'clock. He looked rather grim.
I don't remember what he said exactly. Only one word echoed in my mind: leukemia.
I've learned later that Mark's blood count was terrible; he had much more white blood cell than normal. They started some kind of treatment on the very same day to make it a little bit better. The doctor said that they were going to start the chemo as soon as he gets a little better.
At first, I hoped. He even seemed a little bit better on Thursday, so I thought that he'll get through of it. He's strong, I used to tell myself. He'll be out in no time.
But it didn't happen.
I was visiting him with Mimi on Friday afternoon. At least, we wanted to. His doctor stopped us in the doorway.
'Mr. Cohen had stroke this morning' he said. I collapsed into a chair on the corridor. I felt as Mimi settled next to me. The doctor continued. 'With two diseases like those, he has a very slim chance of surviving. But not zero. He's in the CT now. I'll be back as soon as I can tell you some news. You can wait here' and with these, he left. I took my face into my hands. That was the time when I lost all my hopes.
'He'll be ok' Mimi murmured into my ear.
'We would need a miracle for that.'
'But miracles happen' she stroked my face. I knew she was just as hopeless as I was, but she knew that she had to be strong one that time. 'Just think about me. I should've died that night. But I'm here' I nodded in silence. That's right, miracles happen. But our little circle has already had its. I simply knew that we can't count with this opportunity in this case.
'Thanks for being encouraging' I said and hugged her. I knew that she wanted to help, but she couldn't.
We sat in silence for about ten minutes when the doctor showed up. I just had to look at him to know that we lost.
'I'm sorry' he started without any compassion. 'Mr. Cohen couldn't make it.'
Mimi was the one who started crying. I simply couldn't let my pain out.
The doctor sent us home, saying that we couldn't do anything right then. Mimi sobbed all way back to the loft.
At home I first called Mark's parents. I informed them about Mark's condition on Wednesday, but they couldn't get a plane ticket before next Monday. It was horrible to hear Mrs. Cohen scream into the receiver. That sound will haunt me until my dying day.
Later that night, when I informed everyone, and Mimi cried herself to sleep, I sat on our bed awake, with an old photo album in my hands. There were pictures in it from the time I met Mark. We were only five years old.
And only then, I was able to cry.
Arany Vilmos
1957-2008
a/n Thanks for reading!