The Things I Should Have Told You
Yes yes, another one-shot. Because I have very hard times writing multi-chapter stories.
Enjoy. Idea came from the first verse of Vanessa Carolton's Afterglow.
It was nearing wintertime again.
That time in the year when couples go ice-skating, walking around in each other's arms, and little things like that; the air filled with romance. For her, however, it was nolstalgia.
She once had a love like that. They were so in love; it was almost as if she would never feel sorrow again. They were even thinking of marriage. But he suddenly broke it off, not even bothering to tell her. She had to question his few friends to figure him out.
But he was long gone. Or rather, his love.
She still saw him. All the time. After all, when you work together, it's hard not to. It was quite the unexpected. She applied for the job, not even thinking that he would work there as well.
They still talked sometimes, often going to work together, since they lived nearby. They always have. But still she felt uncomfortable. She knew she shouldn't, but she did. It was always like that now.
He was a stoic man, always a calm face; smiles were few and far in between. As were his words which were always carefully chosen. She often wondered if she would ever see his smile again, or even a simple greeting. Things like that were rare, to say the least.
But she would trudge on.
"Good morning!" A cheerful greeting each morning was given.
"Same to you," was always the simple, monotone answer.
She still wondered if he thought of her at all. She wondered if he still had feelings for her.
Sometimes, she did. Sometimes, she did not. But in the end, the ending they had had much to be desired. Mostly being told directly, concisely, and briefly.
"I love you," she said, as if he already knew, nothing more than a restatement. She said it as if she might never see him again, to remind him not to ever forget.
"I know," he said simply. Nothing more, he never was one for words.
"I still do," she whisphered to him. "Do you really have nothing left for me?" She clung to his arm.
He didn't answer her; he rarely did anymore.
"You don't do you?" she asked, herself more than him. "You never did, did you?" She could have been hysterical right then, but she wasn't. She said it in a quiet voice, never wavering, just a quiet voice.
Still he did not reply; he could not even look at her.
"Forget this," she spat out bitterly. "There's no point staying here anymore. I thought if I stayed here, you'd come around. But you never will, will you?" She laughed bitterly. "No, no, never you!" She laughed again. "There's no point anymore, is there? I'm done here. I'm through with all this shit I have to put up with. I'm giving in my two weeks notice tomorrow. I'm moving in with my friend in New York. I should have done it in the first place."
She got up from her slumped position. "Have a nice afternoon. I won't be needing any more rides, thanks."
Two weeks passed as if it were nothing. He saw how she changed, always watching from afar. So was so happy again, so cheerful. It always did suit her.
The office was throwing her a party. The kind of party where everyone expected him to come, because they all thought that they were the best of friends because they'd known each other for over twenty years, ever since they were toddlers. But what they didn't know was that she never wanted to see him again. But he still did. He pined after her, but knowing that a relationship with him would only bring her more grief. He saw how happy she was without him. He wanted badly to preserve it. He wanted nothing more to see her happy.
He wanted nothing more than to see her.
He wanted nothing more than to...
"Speech! Speech!" They all shouted, pushing her onto a seat.
"Alright, alright," she laughed. "You guys are the best, the best! I'll really miss you all-"
"Then stay."
"Aoshi-wha...?"
"Stay here with me, Misao. We'll get married and everything. Like we should have done years ago."
She looked so happy. She ran to him, hugging him. "Of course I'll stay," she whisphered to him, "all you ever had to do was ask."
But that is what he would have liked to have said. The truth of it all is that she continued with her "speech."
"But it's time I move on. I've got a friend with an extra room for me. Come visit me all of you!"
And just like that, she was gone.
It was nearing springtime. She was long gone and the memory of her no longer lingered around the office. It was as if no one even remembered her.
But he did.
And that's why was where he was. Armed with nothing but the name of her friend. His name was quite familiar. He did, after all, grow up with them.
"Aoshi! What are you doing here?"
"Long time, no see, Sanosuke." He said quietly. "I'm here to see Misao."
"Misao? She's long gone. Hey-you got any place to stay?" When he shook his head, he replied, "You can stay in Misao's old room."
"Thanks, I will"
"So anyway, Misao. I haven't seen her for a good two weeks. One day, she just packed up and left. Only left me a note with some money for rent and some thanks."
"So you don't know where she went?"
"No, not at all. I figured that she moved back or something."
"Maybe..."
He didn't like this. Not one bit. He didn't like all the chasing. He didn't like not knowing where she was. He didn't like it one bit.
He knew he should have told her, but he didn't. He wanted to tell her that he did love her, that he wanted to take her for his wife, that the fight that made them separate was his fault, that he would do anything to have her back.
There were so many things he wanted to tell her. So many things he should have told her.
But that fact of the matter was that it was too late. Always too late.
It was nearing that time of year again. That time of the year when he lost her. He used to love it. He loved the snow and the serenity, the solace it gave him. He no longer found it to be comforting. It was nothing to be cherished anymore. Nothing at all.
He lived with Sanosuke now. Neither of them had heard from Misao. She just disappeared into the night, leaving and never coming back.
Sometimes he dared to hope. Dared to hope that she would return, thinking that she had worried them.
But she was not like that. Not at all.
But still he hoped. Hoped that one day he could say to her, "Oh, the things I should have told you."
A/N: I wrote this story that the names could be reversible and it would not neccessarily have to be fan fiction, it could also be a short story.
Aoshi James
Misao Sarah
Sanosuke Andrew
So, something kind of bittersweet, wistful. Hoped you liked it.