[For all my new Jyler Family/Cult friends. Someone feel free to throw this up on the Tumblr page to spread the love! Random, but special thanks to the movie Blade Runner and Rutger Hauer's ending monologue* for being an odd starting point for inspiration. Like tears...in rain.]
Like everyone else, Jeremy has his bad days. Though, they can be very bad. Brutal at some junctures. He often feels like he has no mouth, yet all he wants to do is scream. The only thing worse than how he feels is how good he is at hiding it all.
He had accepted the fact that he was forever to be labeled as 'damaged goods'. A sort of oddly accurate misnomer.
One week, when he's off school for the week for some odd reason, it's especially bad since everyone who is normally in the house is gone. Elena and Stefan are off doing something couples-ish. He's still too afraid to text Damon [He never texts first, he merely responds]. And everyone else? Well, they're dead.
And he hits the wall.
It comes and goes, really. One moment he's slowly accepting of the fact that a strange and staggering amount of death surrounds him, and the next it's like the Universe itself has punched him in the gut. He scarcely knows what to do, until he knows exactly what to do.
He picks up from the weather channel that a massive thunderstorm is on the way. At least it's well-timed. With headphones blaring in his ear, Jeremy waits until the dark clouds roll in, bringing with them rain. From his window, he waits until the cascading droplets from the sky truly began to fall, disrupting his view from the window. He shrugs off his hoodie, shirt, shoes and socks, leaving only his jeans still on. He rolls his neck, trying to relieve some of the years of grief that has turned to chronic stress. Jeremy exits through the backdoor and into the maelstrom of falling water. It's a little chilly, he first thinks, but quickly acclimates to it.
Finding a suitable spot in the backyard, he nearly collapses to the ground under the weight of his own problems, the problems he can hide but never really outrun. He brings his knees up and positions his head forward.
And he cries.
It's the kind of weeping that would easily get you an Academy Award if it was ever to be captured on camera. It's beyond real. It's almost primal in nature. Jeremy is fairly certain no one knows he does this. Hell, he's barely certain of what's happening around him once his body starts to heave with the force of repressed emotions. His mental faculties quickly mesh with the raindrops on his scalp that are slowly pasting his hair down. He's barely started and already he has no clue where he is, or even why he's so wet. A very small part of him knows he needs to talk to people about how he feels, but he thinks that would be wrong. So many people around him are so much happier and in healthy relationships. It would be wrong of him to make them listen to his issues.
And so, he leaves his problems and fears to the rain. It doesn't judge him or say cruel things behind his back. It merely cascades upon him at its leisure, drowning the sounds of his sobs in clouds and thunder.
"Gilbert!" A howl louder than the latest thunderclap. "Jeremy!"
He only partially hears it. By now, his emotions have gotten the complete better of him and he's almost completely off the emotional map. He couldn't move if he wanted to, which he doesn't.
He barely registers when a pair of arms essentially drag his limp and emotionally lifeless body inside. The timing is such that most of his tears are gone. A few errant droplets emerge from his eyes and quickly fall. His vision is blurred completely. He can hear only a voice.
"Dude...are-are you okay?"
He couldn't even begin to answer that question. It was laughable how ill-prepared he was to answer that dangeroulsy simple inquiry. After either a few seconds or a few hours, he's finally ready to talk again. "I'm fine." He says.
"Bullshit," says Tyler Lockwood, who looks genuinely frightened of whatever situation he has found himself in. Tyler had come over to ask Elena about something, but instead had discovered Jeremy doing...whatever it was Jeremy was doing. "You aren't fine."
Jeremy looked up at the face he was supposed to hate but really didn't. It was the exact opposite, really.
"Seriously, Gilbert. What the Hell where you doing?" Tyler asks again.
"You don't want to know and I don't want to say." Jeremy responds, standing up slowly and fetching a towel from the kitchen. With shaking hands he padded himself dry. He's surprised Tyler is still here. It's not like Lockwood to actually involve himself in complicated emotional issues. "You sure you want to know?"
Tyler cocked an eyebrow, for a second considering the offer. "Yeah." He answered.
Jeremy padded his hair with the towel as he found his feet and balance. "It's raining, right? Well, when it rains like this, I go outside and cry."
"...Why?" Was the logical response that Tyler mustered.
"Because...because," Jeremy stammered, suddenly confronted with his own emotions again. His husky voice poorly masked a tremble. "Because if there's enough rain, then I can't see the tears."
The Universal gutpunch that was normally only deserved for Jeremy found its way to Tyler. That was easily the saddest thing he had ever heard. Largely because it was real. Jeremy wasn't putting up some fake front like most of the people he knew. He was completely and utterly open and exposed. Tyler didn't know what to say, what to do. He stood speechless as Jeremy was about to move past him. For whatever reason, Tyler Lockwood, a guy who was sometimes described as emotionally stunted, found himself hugging Jeremy Gilbert.
Jeremy, without even a flinch, melted into Tyler's arms. Neither knew what was happening. Nothing about the situation lent itself to an overriding sense of sanity. On Tyler's end, this wasn't some loose hug, this was firm and completely with feeling. Feelings Tyler didn't know he had.
Their embrace remained unbroken for several very long minutes. Jeremy actually pulled back first. "Well... I'll let you get back." He said.
"I'm not leaving," Tyler responded instantly, something deep inside of him, deep in stomach, deep in heart, was suddenly very territorial. It felt like it was growling commands at his brain. "I'm not leaving you."
Jeremy nodded a bit dumbly. Tyler quickly spoke again, this time firmly drapping a hand around Jeremy's chin.
"If you ever, ever feel like that again, I don't give a shit where or when or why, you call me," Tyler commanded. "Got it, Gilbert?"
Jeremy nodded. This felt like it should have been more poetic somehow. "Why did you stay? Why are you still here?" He asked.
"Tears may leave you alone in the rain," Tyler said. "I don't."
[* I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears... in rain.]