Chappie 1: Death
A/N: Hey dudes and dudettes. This story was written by our authors, who will remain anonymous until we decide that we will reveal our names to everyone in the wide and blue world. Please review the story, because we assure you that we DO NOT BITE ANYONE'S HEADS OFF. That is of course, unless you try to bite our heads off, then we may try and bite yours. But that's self-defense. Totally legal in this world these days. Please read on the story below, and enjoy your stay at your computer seat. Thank you very much, and hope that you have a comfortable computer seat.
"YOU'RE LYING!"
"AM NOT!"
"AM TOO!"
"ARE TOO!"
"ARE NOT!"
It was a typical sight of two... typical girls yelling their heads off at each other out on the streets. Of course, being the considerate girls that they were, they had decided an argument at the hour of 7am was a perfect idea while taking their daily detour to school.
"I AM SO NOT LYING!" yelled back a ginger haired 15 year old girl named Amber. She pointed a wavering finger in the air dramatically at her similarly 15 year old friend named Kat.
"So you're telling the truth?" asked Kat who had long black hair. She blinked innocently at Amber who paused and strained her face as though she was thinking very hard.
"Maybe..."
"That does not work," stated Kat blandly, "Wasn't it a yes or no answer?"
"NO IT WASN'T!"
"YES IT WAS!"
"NO IT DOESN'T! DON'T CHALLENGE MY NON-EXISTANT LOGIC!"
"Do I have logic?" asked Kat out of the blue.
"Well... I dunno..."
"You're telling me I'm DUMB?" shrieked Kat.
"N-NO, I NEVER SAID THAT!" Amber's pointing finger which has been pointing ever since she started pointing it wavered and dropped, not from fright, but because her muscles in her fingers were getting tired.
"YES YOU DID!"
"NO I DIDN'T!"
"YES YOU DID!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"FINE! You're dumb," said Amber plainly, sighing.
"OK!" Kat grinned and danced around, "Oh yeah! I'm dum-!" she sang.
She stopped in the middle of saying dumb, there was that sound again. That distinctive sound. Without another word she tore across the street yelling back, "OH SWEET ICE CREAM!"
"HEY! I'M GONNA BE FIRST!" screeched Amber, racing down the streets too.
A hand murderously slammed on the ice cream van counter. A breathless but valiant looking Amber grinned at the ice cream man who was backing away from her slowly. "I WANT AN ICE CREAM!" she yelled at the ice cream man.
"NO FAIR!" shouted Kat, running towards her friend, "Just because you tripped me up and tricked me into thinking the giant teethed dog was a teddy bear doesn't mean you win! YOU CHEATER!" sulked Kat.
"It does, because I get to eat the ice cream first!" boasted Amber, deliberately licking the ice cream in front of Kat to torment her. It worked, obviously.
"ICE CREAM MAN! I WANT AN ICE CREAM NOOOOOW! NOW, YOU HEAR ME!" ordered Kat, glaring at the ice cream man who suddenly looked very worried and frightened.
"Sorry miss, but I've just ran out of ice cream..."
"WHAT?" exploded Kat, "WHAT SORT OF AN ICE CREAM VAN ARE YOU IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ICE CREAM?" She climbed in through the ice cream van counter angrily and began rifling through the ice cream compartments. Amber was happily slurping on her own ice cream outside, but being the curious girl that she was, she climbed in through the counter too and was greeted with the sight of Kat drooling and licking over an empty box of ice cream.
"I WANNA JOIN!" yelled Amber, quickly scooting next to Kat and licking the box.
Kat's eyes followed the ice cream cone in Amber's hand, she slyly looked at her friend and saw that she was preoccupied licking the ice cream box. Quickly yet silently, her tongue rolled over the ice cream, leaving a long slobbering trail.
Amber jumped back and took a defensive fighting stance to protect her precious and mightily rare ice cream, "THIS IS MINE! MINE! SO JUST GO AND LICK THE ICE CREAM MAN!" yelled Amber.
"Ok," agreed Kat cheerfully. She walked up to the ice cream man and gave him a small lick on his arm, "YOU TASTE OF ICE CREAM!"
The ice cream man looked at the two girls, giving them a calculating look. Finally he grinned, "SILENCE YOU TWO!" He walked closer to the girls and they... stood still and looked back at him.
"YOU'RE AN ICE CREAM MAN! You're not meant to be silencing us! Ice cream men are supposed to be too happy for their own good, and they have to lick children's shoes so that the children will like them and buy ice cream from his van!" said Amber wisely.
The ice cream man smiled sweetly, "But I'm not an ice cream man."
Amber and Kat looked the ice cream man up and down, "BUT YOU'RE WEARING AN APRON THAT SAYS 'ICE CREAM MAN' ON IT!" exclaimed Kat, prodding her finger at his apron.
"I'M NOT AN ICE CREAM MAN!" repeated the ice cream man, "Whoever has heard of an ice cream van opening at 7am?"
The girls looked at each other, they both simultaneously answered, "Us."
The ice cream man shrugged and ignored the girls' answer, he obviously did not want to waste time on trying to convince the girls that he was not an ice cream man. Oh, and the fact that he had spotted the girls this morning arguing on the streets and decided he wanted to – Amber's shouts jolted him from his thoughts.
"SPAWN OF SATAN! GO SCREW A HIPPIE!" shouted Amber, raising an eyebrow because she felt like it.
Kat looked at Amber, as Amber looked at Kat, they stared at each other until they finally realised, but the ice cream man gets to the conclusion before them, "You two...are hippies." He has an evil, mischievous grin on his face.
"AHHHH!" screamed both Amber and Kat, running around in circles waving their arms around. Unfortunately they ran into each other and crashed onto the floor rubbing their heads.
Taking his time because the girls were rather busy rubbing their own heads, the ice cream man advanced towards the girls, kneeling down, he surveys them with a raised eyebrow.
"BACK AWAY! YOU... ICE CREAM MAN!" ordered Amber.
"I'M NOT AN ICE CREAM MAN!" roared the ice cream man.
"You're a gasp a fake ice cream man!" said Kat, finally realising that he really was a fake ice cream man.
"Then... you... you're... a…" stuttered Amber and cowered out of the window, her arms above her head screaming all the way down the street, "PERVERT!"
"AHHHH! AMBER LEFT ME WITH A RAPIST WHO MIGHT RAPE ME AND DO PERVERTED THINGS LIKE THAT!" screeched Kat, jumping upwards, "AMBERRRRR!" she yelled. The 'ice cream man' pents his fingers together and stalks closer to Kat, a wild grin on his face.
Meanwhile, Amber was running around in circles, but as she hears the cry of her annoying but dearest, stupid best friend, she strikes a pose, the United Kingdom flag waves behind her as she screams, "ICE CREAM TO THE RESCUE." She runs down the street extremely fast, one arm out in front of her as though she where flying.
"AMBER! I'M GONNA BE RAPED! I'M TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX AND EVERYTHING LIKE THAT!" yelled Kat from the ice cream van.
On hearing her friend's words, Amber grips her ice cream cone in front of her, the United Kingdom flag still flapping above her head. "It's time..." she says dramatically "...for the ice cream cone to come to the rescue-"
"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Kat's screeches cutted into her dramatic opening speech.
Amber sighed and chucked the ice cream cone, the force from her throw somehow pushed her onto the floor, landing on her back. The cone went flying through the air, straight past the 'ice cream man's' ear and embedded itself into Kat.
Amber sweat dropped and snickered, "Even the ice cream cones don't like him... THATS WHY IT MISSED, yes..."
"WHO WERE YOU AIMING AT?" asked Kat glaring at Amber.
"Whomever the ice cream wanted to kill..." shrugged Amber.
"YOU WERE MEANT TO KILL THE PERSON WHO WAS ABOUT TO RAPE ME, NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND!" explained Kat, falling onto her side, and clutching her ice cream cone induced wound. Her eyes closed... she murmured her last words: "Ice cream man tastes of ice cream," before finally resting in peace.
Amber dropped to her knees, tears would be streaming down her face if she cared "NOOOOOOOO!" she looked up at the sky, "WHY? WHY?" she shrugged, stood up, turned around and slowly walked to school.
"ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE MY BODY TO ROT AND BE EATEN BY THE ICE CREAMS?" yelled back a rather familiar voice.
"Yes" said Amber automatically, she stopped suddenly and looked around "AHHHHHHHHHHH THE ICE CREAM IS TALKING TO ME!" with her arms waving around her, she bolted off down the street.
"Hey! I'm not an ice cream!" protested the familiar voice. Suddenly, something magically appeared in front of Amber who skidded and stopped in front of... a rather triumphant looking, and much paler, Kat.
"MY LAST WORDS WAS THAT I WAS GONNA HAUNT YOU FOREVER BUT I NEVER GOT TO SAY THAT! So now my last words sounds sick!" complained Kat, pouting her mouth slightly. Her friend nodded slowly pretending to understand.
"I saw from a movie that when someone died they have to haunt back whoever killed them. AND YOU KILLED ME!" accused Kat, wiping a fake tear from her eyes.
"Hey, hey... I never killed you, the ice cream cone just wanted to kill you!" protested Amber, backing away.
"THAT'S THE SAME THING!" exclaimed Kat.
"NO IT ISN'T!"
"YES IT IS!"
"No."
"Yes."
They both glared at each other. Sigh, things will always be the same whether one is dead or alive. They continued glaring at each other, and then walked to school quickly not saying a word to each other. One dead and one living girl walking in a huffy silence to school was certainly a sight to see.
As soon as they arrived at the grey bricked building that people named school, they both sighed together. The sight of the building was rather depressing. They walked down the path into the school area.
"OOF!" sounded Amber, looking at who had walked into her.
"Watch where you're going!" yelled the voice of whoever had walked into Amber.
Amber's eyes widened, the cheek of that boy, HE had walked into her, not the other way around! "Screw you hippie, you can't just go throwing yourself on me like that...might give people ideas... Twat." She glared at him for a while waiting for his rather lame comeback.
"HIPPIE? Like you can talk!" sneered the boy, "You're the hippies in our school." The snotty boy then turned his attention to the unusually pale and quiet Kat, "God, you're so pale, man. You look like a goth."
"Goths are...cool," Kat blinked for a while until Amber yelled, "I'M NOT A HIPPIE."
"YES YOU ARE! You have a flower pinned to your bag! Your clothes are too colourful! And you're wearing make up that's too bright!" listed the snotty boy.
"JUST BECAUSE I WEAR BRIGHT COLOURS AND I LIKE FLOWERS DOESN'T MAKE ME A HIPPY!" replied Amber.
Kat, during this, had disappeared conspicuously and was plotting revenge.
"Whatever, you have lame comebacks," commented the snotty boy snidely before turning around and walking down the path.
Amber stood there wordlessly. Lame comebacks? Chickening out and saying someone has lame comebacks when they don't WAS lame.
She sighed and decided to look around franticly for her best, dead friend. But it was a shock to her that she couldn't find Kat anywhere, she slowly sulked to class on her own - Bio, oh how fun! As she walks into the school building for Bio, she heard a loud shout and the sound of something heavy falling onto the concrete ground. Automatically swerving her head to the area of commotion, Amber spotted the same snotty boy, attempting to pick himself up from the floor, but it seemed something invisible was holding him down.
"Ha weakling," muttered Amber out loud.
The snotty boy glared at her and tried, yet again, to pull himself up but he failed miserably and gave up, his face appeared to be squashed against the floor.
Amber walked towards the snotty boy, "Look who has lame comebacks now! You... weakling! MWAHAHA!" She steps onto his back.
"AMBER SKILLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" called a strict voice from the school building. Amber froze and gulped, delicately stepping off the snotty boy's back, wiping an innocent expression onto her face.
"We... were... umm… playing… last hippie standing," she grins and laughs slightly, "I won..." She gave a quick shrug and ran off into the building.
She heard maniacal laughter following behind her, "HAHAHA! That was priceless!" laughed Kat appearing beside her friend. "That was like so easy, he couldn't see me and he thought that something was wrong with him! And HE LANDED IN POOP! Did you see that expression on his face?" She burst into laughter, "It was sooo priceless."
Later in bio class
"So class, today we are fortunate enough to have ordered ten laboratory frogs specially for your investigation," drawled the bio teacher called Mrs Reen, "Frogs are very interesting creatures. Unfortunately, there are not enough frogs for one each, so I want you to get in groups of threes. Today we will only be examining them, and I want a full set of notes by the end of this lesson on frogs and their habitats by the end of this lesson." The teacher yawned, and sank into her leather seat, already snoozing before her eyes had fallen shut.
Amber grabbed a glass case containing a single frog, and placed it onto the table. She poked at the glass, while Kat was staring at the quivering frog.
"Do you think it's poisonous?" asked Amber as she poked it in the stomach.
"Well... I don't know about that," answered Kat, staring at it's quivering stomach.
"E- Excuse me..." stuttered a small voice, Amber and Kat's heads both twirled at the speaker, the Snotty Boy.
"I-I'm on my own, s - so I'll have to work with you."
"Great," Amber rolled her eyes sarcastically and shoved the scaple into the boy's gross hands, "Go on then...Cut it..."
"You idiot!" said the boy triumphantly, "We're not meant to be cutting up the frog, we're only meant to be examining it!"
She sighed, "Damn…" She glared at the snotty boy and then sat down still cursing all the way through. Meanwhile, the boy took down pages and pages of notes.
"Do you think it's poisonous?" She whispered to him, leaning her head dead close to his, her nose almost in his ear. Without warning, she stuck her tongue out and slobbered all over his cheek and forehead.
The snotty boy shrugged Amber off and continued determinedly to take down notes. Both girls stared at the snotty boy's notes, their jaws dropping, "That's not natural, being able to write so fast," stated Kat, her eyes gleamed. Amber looked towards her friend but she had already disappeared mysteriously.
Suddenly, the snotty boy gave out a small yelp, "My work is disappearing!" and disappear it did, all his precious notes gone and eaten up into just a plain empty white paper. Amber snickered and she was sure she heard Kat's laughter close by.
"MISS! MISS!" shouted the snotty boy.
"WHAT IS IT BOY?" Mrs Reen awakens and grumpily glares at the pesky student who had so rudely woken her up, "NO SHOUTING IN CLASS!"
"But you're shouting..." pointed out the snotty boy.
"TEACHERS ARE EXEMPT FROM RULES!" The snotty boy sulked.
Amber snickered from her seat before her eyes popped out of her head and she slammed herself onto the floor with tears streaming down her face.
"But miss!" whined the snotty boy, "My work disappeared!"
The teacher walked towards him, and looked at his empty sheet of paper in front of him, her eyes widened, "YOUR WORK DISAPPEARED? YOU LAZY POO OF A BUG! MAKING LIES DOES NOT GET YOU AWAY FROM WORK!"
The teacher turned to Amber (who had quickly picked up her eyes and made sure they were where they were meant to be) her voice more sympathetic,
"Is this lazy bum making you upset, dear?"
Amber shook her head and muttered between sobs of laughter, "I... I... want...to...ddiiieeee."
The teacher raises an eyebrow and decided to ignore her suicidal comment, the snotty boy glared at Amber's laughing form and finally strung everything together, "IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER! SHE'S LAUGHING! SHE'S LAUGHING! SHE HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY WORK DISAPPEARING!"
"NO SHOUTING!" ordered the teacher, "You," she pointed at the snotty boy, "are going to be punished for lying, shouting and accusing innocent students! Detention! Tonight! Now don't disturb my sleep again!" The teacher quickly stalks to her leather chair and falls back to sleep.
Kat was beaming widely as she appeared next to her friend. "I got him in trouble! I got him in trouble!" she sang quietly so Mrs Reen couldn't hear her, "Haha, I got him into trouble! Ooh yeah, go me!"
"I WANT TO DIE...WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME?" Amber screamed from the floor, hitting her fists on the table leg and bashing her head.
Kat raised an eyebrow at her friend, and decided that having a seemingly suicidal friend was cool. "I'm going to erase all his work again!" said Kat, leaping up from her seat and shimmering into invisibility.
"I want to do that too!" wailed Amber, getting up and as stealthily as she could, crawled towards the snotty boy's seat.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" shouted the snotty boy at Amber, holding his paper back from her outreached hand.
"Umm...trying…to make the words come back...yeah...that's...right..." she grinned and started hitting the paper.
"You idiot! I bet it had something to do with you!" accused the snotty boy, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the girl. He didn't feel the freak gust of wind that blew just across the right of his face, he was too preoccupied with looking suspiciously at Amber who had sulked back to her seat.
"This is pooey. I want to be able to cause freak gusts of wind and be invisible too," said Amber out loud miserably.
"HEEHEE!" laughed Kat, appearing beside her unhappy friend, "Did you see his face? HAHA... He thought he was going mad when I whispered words into his ear."
"I want to do that..." She rested her head onto the table, and swayed slightly. She sighed...but then she saw the frog...
"You're cute, do you taste nice?" Amber squealed at the frog and picked it up, a large grin appeared on her face as she pulled the frog level with her wide- excited eyes. She gazed thoughtfully into the frog's eyes, and decided that life wasn't as good as death. She gave the frog a lick and screamed, falling dramatically from her chair making as much noise as possible.
Kat stared at her friend who was shivering and quivering on the floor, she poked Amber's ribs with her foot but didn't get any response apart from more quivering. She shrugged and decided to stare at the empty frog tank.
Her friend raised her hand, "The…frog has killed me... oh the poison...on my tongue…killing...I can see the reaper standing over me in her hippie glory...waiting...death...dead..." Of course, she didn't die...she remained quivering on the floor.
The teacher awoke yet again from the noise Amber was creating, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" She stormed towards Kat.
"My friend. She's dying," She explained shortly, offering no further details.
The teacher stared at Amber's quivering body, "Holy shit, what did she do?" she oggled as Amber quivered again.
"She licked a frog."
"WHO TOLD HER TO LICK A FROG?" asked Mrs Reene, panicking, her mind screaming that if a student died during her class she would be in trouble.
"Noone..." answered Kat, looking bored.
"THEN WHY DID SHE LICK IT?"
Kat shrugged yet again, "She wanted to."
"I'M DYING! DEATH! I AM AT ITS DOOR! Does death have a door?" wondered Amber out loud. She shook her head, shaking away the silly thoughts, "I'M DEAD!" Amber jumped up, all quivering gone from her body, and ran around the classroom with her arms waving around in a 'spooky' manner.
The teacher twitched her eye, "I can still see you." Everyone in the class sweat dropped.
"I don't think this frog is poisonous," said Kat, she gave the frog a lick herself, "Nope, I didn't die see?"
"You are already dead!" said Amber.
"BOTH OF YOU ARE NOT DEAD!" shouted the teacher.
Amber scowled at the teacher and yelled back, "WHEN I SAY I'M DEAD...THEN I AM DEAD!" She ran around the room again, licking random objects and throwing frogs into the air. "I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD!" she repeatedly sang, everyone in the class sweat dropped again.
"Let's get out of school. We're both dead, so we don't have to attend school anymore!" said Kat delightfully.
"Hell yeah!" agreed Amber.
Both of the girls jumped out of the window but because one was dead she survived it and because the other thought she was dead she didn't feel the painful landing. The class peered at the girls from their class window as they skipped through the school gates.
Kat's eyes gleamed as another wicked thought crossed her mind, "Let's trash the world."