A/N: This is a one-shot story I thought of after watching the eye contact
between Addison and Mark (real or imagined, I took it from there). There's
not really a ship here, it can be left open to the imagination.
When you try your best and you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in Reverse
"He deserves to know." Addison looked up from her chart at Alex Karev who was staring at her through hooded eyes. She closed the chart and pulled off her glasses and met his gaze with a questioning one of her own, "He deserve to know what?"
Alex moved the chart and said, "You thought I didn't catch that glance between you and Sloan. How long have you known?"
Addison exhaled softly as she realized her secret was out of the bag, "I've known since 2 days before prom. Never really had a chance to come clean now did I?"
Alex grimaced, "He's an ass but you are better than that Dr. Montgomery."
Addison chuckled, "Am I? And since you know my deepest secret you can call me Addison."
Alex grinned back and for a second Addison wished that things were different and that there was an actual chance that Derek Shepherd wouldn't be a factor in her life for time to come and she could move on with someone who could love her unconditionally.
Addison sat down at her desk and motioned for Alex to take the seat in front of her, "When I found out I was pregnant, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't use it to hold Derek to me. I mean, he has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want me and I'm not going to beg."
Alex nodded, "He's an ass but he's with someone who he deserves and you don't have to worry about them, you just have to worry about the child that you are carrying. He or she deserves the chance to know their ass of a father."
Addison choked on a sob and nodded, "Your right. I'll tell him but I guess I'm scared."
Alex rolled his eyes, "Dr. Montgomery scared of anything? That doesn't seem right to me."
Addison leaned forward, "In the space that it takes me to explain that I'm pregnant with his child, Derek has a choice to make. Does he want to be happy about this child or does he want to regret ever giving us a second chance and in turn regret this child and in that space my heart will be doing the talking. I can't handle it if he doesn't want this child. I can get past the fact that he doesn't want me but to not want our child…"
Alex leaned his hand over the desk, "He won't be that stupid and even if he is, you'll have a support system that no one here can touch."
Addison gripped it as she heard a throat clear. They both looked up into the eyes of Izzie Stevens who was staring at them with a sense of unease.
And the tears come streaming down your face &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home and ignite
Your bones and I will try to fix you
Izzie looked at Alex and said, "What was that about?"
Alex positioned his bag on his back and looked at her with a question in his eyes, "What was what about?"
Izzie snorted, "The intimacy I just walked in on between you and Montgomery."
Alex rolled his eyes, "She was my mentor and she was teaching me a lot and if I hadn't decided to follow the ass of Sloan I would still be learning from her. You should seriously consider going to work with her."
Izzie grimaced, "After what she did with the quints…"
Alex started walking, "You mean teaching you how to detach which you've learn surprisingly well…"
Izzie ran up to catch up with him, "Okay so maybe I didn't really give her a chance that doesn't mean I'm ready to have her back in my life and as my mentor."
Alex pushed the elevator button down, "Whatever, I was just saying she's not that bad. I did learn a lot from her and if the specialty of my choice wasn't Plastics I would still be with her. I learned a lot."
Izzie shrugged, "What were you two talking about anyway?"
Alex closed his eyes, "I can't betray a confidence but what you need to know is that Meredith is going to need her friends, now more than ever," after saying that he exited the elevators leaving Izzie staring after him in concern and disbelief. Did he feel something for Addison Montgomery?
High Up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
But if you never try you never know
Just what your worth
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lights will guide you home and ignite
Your bones and I will try to fix you
Addison stared at Derek from across the table. He was sporting a cocky grin that she was just itching to wipe off his face. She knew that Meredith was probably standing around somewhere ready so they could go off together. She had requested this dinner for the sole purpose of coming clean with the weight of her secret but as she looked him in the eyes she realized that he was no longer the man that she fell in love with. He was acting like a childish teenager and forasmuch as she loved him, she didn't know if she wanted her child around him.
"What do you need Addison?"
Addison looked into his eyes as she pulled out the papers and handed him the ultrasound as well as the pregnancy test from two days before the prom, "I'm pregnant and before you ask it's yours."
Derek looked at her in disbelief and Addison cut off his words, "I'm not asking you to leave Meredith. I'm not asking you to be a father to this child, I'm not even asking you to provide financially for this child because you know that I can do it all, I just wanted you to know."
Addison stood up and Derek cleared his throat, "You don't think I deserve a chance to speak?"
Addison sat down and crossed her arms over her chest prepared for whatever he had to throw at her, "Why didn't you come to me sooner?"
Addison smirked, "I was married to you for 12 years and during that time you had the power to make me the happiest woman on the face of this earth but you also had the power to break me. You did both and when I thought we were finally at a good place, a place of beginning over you slept with Meredith Grey at the prom and whether intentional or unintentional it happened and it helped tear me apart. I knew what it was to be broken by you for the second time and I don't want that…."
Addison stopped at this point as she felt the tears starting to fall, "I don't want that for my child. I don't know if I even planned on coming to you but a friend told me today that even though you were an ass and cheated on me that it didn't mean I needed to be one so there, I'm taking the high road and not being the ass, I'll leave that to you."
Tears stream down your face when you lose &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Something you cannot replace
Alex Karev walked into Seattle Grace early that next morning as he waited for news of his former mentor. Mark Sloan came up besides him, "Come on Karev, I need my coffee early this morning. We have a full surgery schedule today."
Alex was itching to wipe the grin off his face but held himself in check. He had a goal and it was too learn everything under this jerk so he could take it and be the best there was, "I'll go get it."
Derek came up beside the two of them, "Have you seen Addison? I don't see her car in the parking lot."
Miranda came up beside all of them, "Addison is taking a couple of days off." After stating that she walked off to call her interns into check and start morning rounds.
Mark looked up in concern but kept his opinion to himself but Alex couldn't hold back and turned to Derek, "Were you an ass to her?"
Derek looked at him in disbelief, "What are you talking about?"
Alex scowled, "You know what I mean, were you an ass to her when she came to you and told you the truth about the baby?"
Derek started to walk off, "I don't have to answer that." He ignored his presence as he stalked off.
Alex threw off his gloves and turned to Sloan, "I gotta go."
Mark ran up behind him and jerked him around, "What do you think you are doing?"
Alex spun around on him, "That ass couldn't even give her the benefit of being nice to her after she told him the truth, he had to screw it up again I'm going to check on Addison."
Mark growled and jerked his arm to his side, "What do you mean you are going to check on Addison? Since when do you call Dr. Montgomery Addison?"
Alex shrugged off the hold on his hand, "Since she became friends with me last night and told me her secret now let me go, I'm going to check on her."
Mark watched as Alex started running off, "If you leave here now then you are permanently off of Plastics, no more second chances you don't work under me ever again."
Alex turned around with a smirk, "Finally, I missed the Vagina Squad too much anyway."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face I promise you
I have learned from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I….I
She was a neonatal surgeon and at the top of her field but that didn't stop her from sitting in her bathrobe crying her eyes out. Derek hadn't been nice and he hadn't been mean, he had been worse than that he had been indifferent. As if it wasn't enough that she was no longer in his life, he had to show how much he didn't want her or their child by acting indifferent. She also knew she was sensitive due to the hormones but she didn't want to focus on her failed marriage or her relationship with her ex-husband she wanted to focus on the fact that she was about to become a mother.
A mother.
Something Derek had always wanted but she had been terrified. She saw too much in her job to not be uneasy at the idea that so many different things could go wrong.
She was pregnant with Derek Shepherd's child and she was a single mother.
The knock on the door came and she wondered who could be bothering her at this time, she knew it wasn't Derek as he was probably going to be avoiding her for days.
She exhaled softly and went to the door and asked, "Who is it?"
"Alex."
Addison pulled back from the door in shock as she undid the lock and opened the door. Alex walked in and saw the mountains of tissues that had been left in her latest crying jag.
Alex scowled, "That ass screwed up anyway didn't he?"
Addison smiled softly, "No he didn't screw up he just didn't care."
Alex pulled her into his arms, "It's going to be okay Addison. You can do this, you can do anything."
Addison nodded against his shoulder as she dried up her tears and said, "Thank you it means a lot that you came to see me and are trying to cheer me up."
Alex shrugged, "Hey what are friends for?"
Addison nodded, "To support each other? Thanks for coming out all this way and trying to piece what's left of me back together…."
Alex shook his head, "I wasn't trying to piece you back together Addison you are already in one piece. I was trying to fix you. We will work together and we will fix you."
Addison pulled back as she reached for another tissue, she believed him when he said he was going to be alright.
Lights will guide you home and ignite
Your bones and I will try to fix you
Thoughts please!