I slump against my locker, running my hand through my hair and sighing deeply. My phone rings in my pocket, vibrating against my leg, but I ignore it, leaving it buried in my pocket.
"You not gonna answer that?" My best friend asks from beside me, watching as I sigh again.
"It's probably just Trina, again." She's rang me five times today from her supposed sickbed, every time asking me to do something ridiculous even though I'm at school and she's at home. "I'll check it once it's done ringing." I don't look up from the ground when I answer, watching the toe of my converse scuff against the old linoleum lining the floor of the hallway and zoning out.
"…. So the penguin, get this, he says, "He's not a…"" Andre pauses what he's saying, nudging my shoulder. "Tori?"
"Huh?" I look up, pushing my hair off my face. "What?"
"What's wrong with you, girl? You've been moping all day!" He prods me in the cheek. "Birthday blues?"
"It's nothing." I tell him, sighing again. "I just…"
He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence. "So, Keeko and I have been dating for a while now, and I was thinking, you know, that I should get her something. Our six month is coming up, and I don't want us to end up like Beck and Jade did, fighting all the time and her being, you know, a pyscho… What do you think?"
"Don't say that about Jade." I tell him automatically, causing him to roll his eyes. "I think you should do what you think is best."
"You always do that." He sort of half grins at me.
"Do what?"
"Defend Jade. Whenever someone says something mean about her, you're the first to jump to her defense, but all she ever does is try to hurt you." He leans his shoulder up against the locker, raising an eyebrow at me.
"She's…" I pause for a second. "She's Jade. She's my friend. Even if I'm not hers. And I look out for my friends, even if they don't want me too. She's important… important to me."
Andre's eyebrow raises even higher, the other one shooting up to match it, but he doesn't push the issue, instead leaning his other shoulder back into the locker and remaining silent.
He never pushes the issue with Jade. He knows it's more than I let on, more than I tell him, but he stays quiet. I guess he knows that if I needed to talk about it, I would.
Honestly, I'm not even sure what I'd say. My feelings about Jade are muddled. Some days, I hate her so much I wanna smash her stupid perfect smirk up against a locker repeatedly, and then others, I just wanna reach out and touch her. Hold her, shield her from the world. Not that she needs it, Jade's always been stronger than the rest of us put together.
I don't know when I pushed past the line of wanting her to like me and wanting her to love me. Do I even want her to love me?
Just thinking about her is confusing.
The bell ring and I push the thoughts to the back of my head, reaching down to pick up my bag.
"Sikowitz?" Andre questions.
"Yep."
"So, mime artists use the power of body language…" I can't concentrate on what Sikowitz is saying, instead staring up at the stage where Jade stands with Cat, waiting patiently for our teacher to stop talking and let them begin the exercise.
Cat's been different lately, caught up in her babysitting business and that Sam girl. She's somehow less and more airheaded at the same time now. She pays more attention in class, especially in things like maths and English, but sometimes, when you talk to her, it's like she's not even there.
I don't blame her, senior year can be hard, and her family isn't even here anymore, her parents out in Idaho and her grandmother up at Elderly Acres, I can't imagine how it feels.
I feel another pair of eyes on me, and when I look at Jade she quickly looks away, instead staring at Sikowitz. Why was she looking at me? I'm suddenly paranoid about having something on my face and try to run my hand over it inconspicuously. I don't feel anything. Maybe she wasn't looking at me. Probably imagining things again.
I go back to frowning and staring at the floor, retreating into myself. My phone vibrates again but I ignore it.
I've been different, absent, almost, since my parents divorced earlier this year, but todays just been… I don't even know, horrible seems like too strong a word and not strong enough. I've barely seen my mom since she left, and she hasn't even called today. One of the most important days of my life and my dad's out of town, my sister is too self-absorbed and my friends are wrapped in their own little worlds. I'm 18, todays supposed to be one of the days I'll remember forever, and I just want it to end, I want to go home and get into bed to and just bury my head.
By the time the bell rings again, signalling the end of class, I've pretty much given up with the rest of day.
Jade shoots out of the room, not bothering to stick around. She rarely does these days, not since her and Beck split up again. It's like she can't stand being around us.
I leave the room soon after, waving halfheartedly toward my friends and heading to the parking lot. Finally having my own car has some pros, even if it's just Trina's hand-me-down.
I'm almost at the doors when my phone rings again. Not bothering to check it I pull it out of my pocket and answer immediately.
"What do you want now, Trina?"
"I want you to never call me Trina again, Vega." Is the answer, and I lift my phone away from my ear to look at the contact.
"Why are you calling me, Jade?" I ask, half embarrassed.
"Meet me by my car." She tells me, then disconnects the call. I frown at my phone before sticking it into my pocket and heading out into the parking lot.
"Where are we going?" I ask, looking out into the surrounds. We've been driving for a while now, and I'm beginning to become concerned. "This isn't like that time you drove me to school, right?"
"We're nearly there, stop whining." Comes the curt response. Jade's been quiet the entire car ride. Not the usual stoic, uneasy quiet that comes with Jade, but more like she doesn't know what to say. It's a tentative quiet, only interrupted by the soft hum of the radio, and it makes me curious. It's probably the only reason I haven't repeated the last time we were in a car alone and launched myself out of the door.
We pull up ten minutes later, and when I move to leave the car she stops me.
"Wait here, just for 10 minutes, please?" She asks, and something about the way she asks makes me agree. I sit patiently in the car, playing with the strap of the seat belt while she disappears into the cabin in front of us after taking a bag from the trunk.
I'm not entirely sure where we are. I think I might've been here when I was younger and my dad used to take me and Trina on hikes, but I'm not sure. It's pretty dark, although a soft light soon illuminates the front of the car, bleeding out through the windows of the cabin.
The light bounces off the closest trees, showing just how thick the forest that surrounds us is. She really could murder me out here and no one would be able to save me.
The door opens a few seconds later, Jade's silhouette outlined by the warm glow from inside the cabin and she beckons me over, stopping my morbid train of thought.
"What is this place?" I ask her, closing the door of the car and slowly making my way over.
"It's my dad's cabin. He used to use it for hunting but now he's so busy all the time he never comes out here, so I liberated the keys." She smirks at me, usual Jade façade falling into place. "Now get in here, it's freezing."
I walk into the cabin, half expecting to see a variety of weapons waiting for me but what I actually see makes me stop short.
"What is all this?" I ask, turning to look at her.
"It's your birthday." She tells me simply, slipping past me to stand in front of the fire.
"Yeah but…" I motion around the room with my hands. Lit candles are scattered around the room, resting on most of the surfaces, and a small banner reading "Happy Birthday" sits above the fireplace, corners tucked behind an old painting. "You hate me."
Jade sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I don't hate you." She looks upset. "I never hated you, Tori. You're…" She pauses, "You're infuriating. You're so perfect, beautiful and kind and smart and always willing to forgive the people that hurt you. Even me." She looks down at her feet. "I heard what you said to Andre earlier. At the lockers? I've spent so long punishing you for things that weren't your fault, and things that didn't even matter, all I've ever done is push you away when I wanted you closer."
"Jade…"
"No, let me finish." She closes her eyes, inhaling deeply as if to psych herself up. "You got under my skin. No one's ever done that, not even Beck. You're all I ever think about now. I couldn't… I couldn't stay with Beck, it wasn't fair to him. So I left him. And then I blamed you for it. Like it was your fault I felt this way. And you still kept trying.
It's too hard, trying to not care about you is exhausting. I don't want to do it anymore, I just want you. And I know, you're not gay, and I'm probably the last person on the planet that you'd even want to spend your birthday with but you just looked so defeated today, I had to do something." She stops, running out of steam.
"Jade…"
"Yeah, this was a stupid idea, I'll just take you home and we can forget that this…"
"Jade!" She stops fussing, turning to look at me. "You've spent two years practically torturing me. Alienating me, ridiculing me."
"I know, I…"
"Just let me talk, okay?" I push my hair back. "Two years, and all I've ever wanted from you was to hear that. If anyone here is infuriating, it's you. You're stubborn, and hot-headed, and the minute you don't get what you want you turn into a five year old." She laughs. "But I see you. Past that. I always have. I see the real you. The one that only appears when we're alone. You always put on this show to keep me at bay, but I know it's not you. You're vulnerable, and gentle, and so sweet, and the fact you've done this." I motion to the room again. "It just proves it.
And you're right, I'm not gay." Her face falls slightly. "At least, I don't think I am, I've only ever had feelings for one girl. And now she's standing in front of me, with the most romantic gesture I think I've ever seen anyone do and all I want to do is kiss her."
"So do it."
I cross the room, stopping in front of her and gingerly placing my hands on her waist. She doesn't hesitate, hand snaking up to brush across my cheek as she presses her lips to mine.
It's different, soft and warm and I feel butterflies explode in my stomach like I've never felt before. My hands slide up and rest around her shoulders as she presses her body flush against mine. It's perfect. She's perfect. She fits against me like she wasn't ever supposed to be anywhere else.
She pulls back, hand slipping down to rest on my hip, the other one wrapped around my waist. Smiling softly, she leans up, pressing a kiss against my forehead.
"So…" I start, grinning at her. "Did you get me a cake?"
Idea that's been buzzing around the ole' noggin for a while, finally managed to get it on paper.
Sort of ties in with my other one-shot, "Last Night" which is up on my profile, and is also set after this so if you wanted to bounce over and read that, it would be cool.
Still got some ideas for this, so I might continue it, if you guys really like it. And if you like things that are Jori, you might like my other other story, "Run" which I just finished. It's long, and it's AU, but I guess it's okay.
Also, it's my birthday today, yay me!
So if you liked this, and you want to give me a present, the perfect present would be a review and and a favourite/follow. Let me know what you think!
