The clock ticked slowly on and he watched it, hoping to make time go slower. In just a few minutes it would be exactly a year since it
happened, to the day, to the hour. He remembered the time clearly. These days time was irrelevant, it didn't matter to him anymore. Nothing mattered, with out them, except for her. He felt a touch on his shoulder and looked up to the smiling face of his beloved wife.
"You okay, sweetie?" She asked, knowing full well what the day was, what it meant to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine" He lied, trying to return hersmile. She brushed some curls from his face.
"You don't have to lie to me you know" She told him. sitting down next to him and placing an affectionate kiss on his cheek.
"You always could see right through me," He said, with a genuine smile this time. She had been his rock the past year, just being there for him when he needed her, just her presence comforted him more then anything in the world. He wondered what it would be like to live his life without her and then directly prayed he'd never have to find out. "Do you think they'll ever forgive me?" He asked.
"Oh baby. You're their brother. Just give them time" She replied. He flinched. There was that word again. Time. I didn't mean anything to him anymore.
"They've had a year" He replied.
"I know," She said. It broke her heart to see him that way. He hadn't been the same since the accident, never fully recovered, she wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to get over it. The glint had gone from his eyes and the mischievous smile had disappeared too, it had been so long since she'd seen them. It hurt her to know he was suffering, that he was in so much pain and there was nothing she could do to make it better. She would've given anything to be able to take all of his hurt away. He sighed.
"It was my fault we were running late in the first place. We were rushing. The wall came out of nowhere. I didn't have time to slam on the brakes" He said, "Why didn't I see it? I should've seen it. I should've been able to save him,"
"Oh baby, I wish you would stop doing this to yourself. It was an accident. You know that, the police know that and they know that. You read the report yourself, you know what it says. If he had been wearing a seatbelt there's a good chance he would've survived. It wasn't your fault." She insisted.
"They think it's my fault, they think I'm guilty, hell, even I think I'm guilty! He was our leader, the one who took care of us. I let them down, I let him down and now he's gone," He said. She sighed and placed a comforting hand on his knee. His eyes returned to the clock again.
"I miss him, too" She told him "You guys weren't the only ones he looked out for but it happened baby, and you can stare at that clock for the rest of your life, but it won't do any good, it won't turn back time. I wish you'd stop putting yourself through this. I'm sure he knows it was an accident, and now he'll be able to look down on you guys and take care for you forever. You have to try and move on." She told him.
"I know. I'm sorry" He looked at her and smiled again "I don't know what I'd do without you. I hope you know just how much I love you"
"I do and I love you so much" She told him and kissed him. He leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder. She kissed his head and
tangled her fingers in his curls. "It'll get better, I promise. They'll come back. They'll accept it was an accident. Just give them time."