(The Griffins are watching My Name is Earl)
T.v. Announcer:" Now back to My name is Earl on TBS"
Earl:" Randy karma's telling me its time to do # 90875 on my list, tricking a dog into thinking I did throw the ball when I really didn't"
(To the Griffins)
Peter:" wow how dare him"
Lois:" Peter theres a big smudge on the T.v. I can barely see whats going on"
Peter:" alright I'll get it"
(Peter splashes the rest of his beer on the t.v. and it goes out, then the beer slides down the T.v. and gets on wires, that are plugged in the wall and the rest of the power shuts off)
Lois:" Peter!"
Peter:" Lois calm down go call the electric company and I'll tell the kids a story"
Lois:" alright"
Meg:" Dad tell us more about star wars"
Peter:" shut up Meg I'm thinking of a story...Ah ha! I got it I'll tell you more about star wars, this is the story of star wars episode 2"
FAMILY GUY
Episode 2
Attack of the Clones
There is unrest in the Galactic Senate, and more Damn paragraphs are in space,stuff has happened Blah Blah Blah...Count Dooku...Yaddi Yaddi Yaddi...Jedi Knights...Yoda speaks backwords...Words Words Words...Naboo...Two people...One Cup...on a ship...Jedi...Blu Blu Blah Blah, Overwelmed Jedi...
(the amber city planet of Coruscant. A yellow Naboo Fighter flies OVER CAMERA toward the planet, followed by a large Royal Cruiser and two more Fighters.)
(They get out of the ship)
James Woods(Captain Typho):" Well atleast the ship didn't explode and kill your decoy Senator"
(the ship explodes)
(Padme runs up to her Decoy,Corde"
Diane(Padme):" Corde..."
Corde:" I hate you all!"
(she then dies)
James(Typho):" wow what a bitch"
(inside)
Carl(Yoda):" This assanation attempt is worse then that crappy remake of the karate kid"
Diane(Padme):" I think Count Dooku is behind this"
Black Neil Golman(Mace Windu):" Count Dooku was once a Jedi so I don't think he would suddenly be a Douche"
(Obi Wan and Anakin arrive)
Brian(Jar Jar):" Hey wats up guys"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Nothin Much Jar Jar, I was just trying to start Anakin's SPECIAL force training, if you know what I mean"
Stewie(Anakin):" No more special training,you son of a douche bag humpin, little boy touchin, pedophile bitch...Hi Jar Jar"
(Padme walks up)
Diane(Padme):" Nice to see you Obi Wan"
Stewie(Anakin):" Hey Baby I'm not slave anymore, what do ya say we do it"
Diane(Padme):" Anakin you look the same after 10 years"
Stewie(Anakin):" Well, your Boobs haven't grown after 10 years either"
Brian(Jar Jar):" OH! He went there Bitch!"
(later that night)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" what are we doin here"
Stewie(Anakin):" Were protecting her while shes in her room"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" thats boring"
Stewie(Anakin):" But we can spy on her, doesn't that sound fun?"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" No it actually doesn't"
(then in the room a flying robot(Meg) puts centipedes in her room)
Cleaveland(R2-D2):" What the Hell"
Stewie(Anakin):" I heard R2 lets go"
(they both run in, Anakin brings out his lightsaber and kills the centipede and Obi Wan jumps out and grabs on to the robot, as it takes off flying)
(then the robot blows up, and Obi Wan starts falling, he lands in a speeder with Anakin in it)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Mmm...Glad your here!"
(they begin to chase a ship holding the person who sent the robot to kill the senater)
Stewie(Anakin):" That ship is moving fast so I'm gonna assume thats the person who sent the robot"
(The ship lands and then they land thier speeder too)
Stewie(Anakin):" She went into the club, I've never been in a club maybe I'll meet Captain Kirk or Niel Armstrong, Yay!"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Why do I have the feeling Your going to kill me in 22 years or so"
(They walk in the bar)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" I'm gonna go get a drink"
(he walks up to the Bar and a creature named Elan Sleazebaggano looks at him)
Elan:" Wanna Buy Some Death Sticks?"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" you don't want to sell me Death Sticks"
Elan:" I don't want to sell you death sticks"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" you want to go home and Beat your wife"
Elan:" I want to go home and beat my wife"
(then the person, Zam Wessel, who they were trying to find sneeks up behind Obi Wan, he turns around and cuts her arm off)
(Everybody looks at them as Anakin walks over to Obi Wan)
Stewie(Anakin):" Like you Haven't seen a Persons hand get cut off, stop looking at us or I will kill you!"
(They drag her outside)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Do you Know who it was you were trying to kill?"
Zam :" Of course what kind of question is that"
Stewie(Anakin):" who hired you?"
Zam:" Yo Mamma!"
Stewie(Anakin):" my mom is a slave, how do you feel now?"
(Then a dart shoots Zam in the neck and then she changes into and ugly creature, then they look back and see a man flying away)
(later)
Diane(Padme):" Jar Jar I'm leaving you in charge until I get back"
Brian(Jar Jar):" anything for you babe, anything else I can do, something that envolves...(He hand motions sex)"
Diane(Padme):" Oh God No!"
Brian(Jar Jar):" Fine Go Die Bitch"
(Padme walks over to Anakin)
Diane(Padme):" I Don't Like the Idea of Hiding"
Anakin:" and I don't like Obi Wan even though if he didn't train me I would be a slave again"
(Later They drop off Anakin,Padme and R2 off on Naboo)
Cleaveland(R2D2):" So you mean I Have to Follow you two around everywhere while you just talk, son of a bitch this sucks"
Anakin:" Where do we go?"
Padme:" Lets go to that Cafe"
Cleaveland(R2D2):" Oh so we go to the place where Droids arn't aloud, F**k You!"
(Later,Anakin and Padme are standing on a balcony)
Diane(Padme):" I used to roll in the sand with my friends"
Stewie(Anakin):" I hate sand even though I grew up in it"
(They then suddenly kiss)
Diane(Padme):" No!"
Stewie(Anakin):" All I Have to say is...SCORE!"
(Later, Obi Wan walks into a Diner, A robot Waitress named Hermione Bagwa is there)
Hermione:" Can I Help ya?"
Obi Wan:" I'm looking for a man called Dexter"
Hermione:" Someone here to see ya, Honey A jedi, By the looks of him"
(Dexter walks out of the kitchen)
Peter(Dexter):" Hey Check it out now I'm another Character No one cares about!(He then Trips and falls) Ah sss! Ah sss! Ah sss! Ah sss! Ah sss! Ah sss! Ah!"
(He gets up)
Peter(Dexter):" So Hows it goin Obi Wan"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" I need you to figure out where this dart came from"
Peter(Dexter):" let me see"
(he looks at it for one quick second)
Peter(Dexter):" Kamino!"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" What?"
Peter(Dexter):" What?"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" you said the name but I couldn't understand"
Peter(Dexter):" Name of What?"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Never mind I think I know what you said"
Peter(Dexter):" what who said?"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Nevermind"
(Back On Naboo, Anakin is asleep)
Stewie(Anakin):" No Mom No Mom No!Mom Don't Touch me there that is my no no square! R.A.P.E. rape is a fellony!"
(He wakes up)
(later, Padme wakes up and goes outside where Anakin is standing)
Diane(Padme):" you had a nightmare Didn't you?"
Stewie(Anakin):" I don't have Nightmares"
Diane(Padme):" I heard you"
Stewie(Anakin):" Maybe I was Masturbating did you ever think about that?"
Diane(Padme):" were you?"
Stewie(Anakin):" No, I'm just joshin ya I was having a nightmare, so I have to go to Tatooine to save my mom from death"
Diane(Padme):" Okay"
(On Coruscant)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Master Yoda can you help me find a planet"
Carl(Yoda):" I will not help you find the planet,Okay I'll help you find the planet"
(Obi Wan puts a small orb on a stand in the ground and a map of stars appear)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Its should be here but it isn't"
Carl(Yoda):" Well you shouldn't go find it, Okay you should go find it"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Can I take one of these little boys with me too?"
(Later we see Obi wan in his ship landing on Kamino, he walks inside and is greeted by a Kaminoan named Taun We)
Taun We:" Welcome to Tipoca City, we've been expecting you"
(they walk into a room where theres a window with a veiw of machines making clones)
Taun We:" we cloned a bounty hunter named Jango Fett to build the clone army for the republic, and guess what? all he asked for in return was a talking, oversized chicken"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Can I Meet him?"
Taun We:" Sure"
(On Tatooine)
Quagmire(C3P0):" Hey Anakin, hey I've never dated a Senator Alright Giggity"
Diane(Padme):" In your dreams"
Quagmire(C3P0):" I like where this is goin"
(Cliegg Lars, and his son Owen come out of the house, Owen is with his girl friend Beru)
Joe(Cliegg):" Your moms not here Anakin she got taken by sand people long ago"
Stewie(Anakin):" I'm Gonna Go find her"
(He rides off on a speeder bike)
(The Duel of fates song plays until a certain part and then Peter pops on the screen and finishes the song)
(Anakin arrives at the Tusken Raider Camp, he uses his lightsaber to cut a hole in the wall of the tent, then gets inside, he sees his mom tied up, he unties her and holds her in his arms)
Lois(Shmi):" Annie?"
Stewie(Anakin):" Are you gonna die or I gonna have to wait?"
(She then Dies)
Stewie(Anakin):" Finally!Now for fun I'll kill Tusken Raiders"
(Back on Kamino)
(Taun We rings the doorbell to the room of Jango Fett)
(A chicken Kid Named Boba Fett Answers the door)
Taun We:" Boba, is your father here?"
Giant Chicken(Boba):" Yea"
Taun We:" May we speak with him?"
Giant Chicken(Boba):" Sure, Dad! Taun We's here!"
(they walk in, and then Jango walks toward him)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Hi I'm Obi Wan, your army is impressive the little boy ones are the best"
Jango:" I'm Just a Simple Man Trying to make my way in the Galaxy"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" Ever been to coruscant?"
Jango:" once or twice"
Herbert(Obi Wan):" recently?"
Jango:" Possibly"
(Later Obi Wan tries to catch Jango in his ship by chasing Jango's ship)
(He follows the ship into a planet called Geonosis, he sneaks into a cave where the trade federation, Count Dooku, and Jango Fett are talking, when he gets caught)
(Back on Tatooine)
Stewie(Anakin):" I sense Obi Wan is in trouble on a planet called Geonosis, how do I know the name of the planet? don't ask me"
(they then take off, they arrive and run into the same cave Obi Wan was in before, and they get caught too)
(Later the are in an arena tied up)
Herbert(Obi Wan):" With you here, Anakin I'll always be happy"
(then 3 creatures are released to kill them, they all get free in very creative ways, and then trap them down)
(On the Balcony Mace Windu shows up and puts his lightsaber up to Jango Fett's neck, Count Dooku calls in droids, a ton o droids run in and begin to attack when Jedi hiding start thier lightsabers and attack the droids, and a huge battle begins)
(During the Battle Mace Windu Cuts Jango,s Head off)
(then the battle stops for a sec as a ship flies in with clones and Yoda on it)
Carl(Yoda):" don't Attack, Okay Attack!"
(They all attack as the ship lands and then the Jedi get in the gunship and they fly off)
Stewie(Anakin):" Hey wouldn't it be funny if randomly Padme fell off the ship"
(Then she randomly falls of the ship)
Stewie(Anakin):" Ha ha! I told you it be funny"
(They they land and run into a cave where Count Dooku went)
Carter(Dooku):" Alright you guys are gonna get killed and stuff"
(Dooku Then Cuts off Anakin's arm and slices cuts in Obi Wan's leg and arm)
Carter(Dooku):" That was easy"
(Then Yoda walks in, and pulls out his lightsaber they begin to fight)
(then Dooku brings down a pillar and yoda trys to stop it, and Dooku escapes)
(Later we see Anakin and Padme getting married, R2 and 3P0 watching them)
Quagmire(C3P0):" I hope we can watch the sex after"
Cleaveland(R2D2):" That would be nice"
(They then kiss, we see Anakins mechanical arm)
Peter:" The End!"
Lois:" The Eltric company guy will be done in 3 mins"
Chris:" YAY!"
Meg:" Great story dad!"
Peter:" Shut up Meg!"
(End Credits)