Through the Shards of the Looking Glass

By: Butterfly Thoughts

Part One

Standing before the fogged mirror in the bathroom stood Yugi. He was small in stature with black, crimson, and blond hair. He had huge soulful violet eyes that betrayed how tired he really was. He wiped at the mirror to look at himself. He took in his small frame with depressed bloodshot eyes. The boy noted how his ribs were quite visible through his thinning torso. He ran a languid hand down his chest and stomach, slightly feeling the hard bones of his ribcage with a grimace. He was loosing too much weight but try as he might, he could not bring himself to eat even enough to keep a bird alive lately. Stepping back a few steps, he took in the sight of his narrow hips. Again, the bone was quite announced through the skin. He ran his hand over his left hip, tracing the curve of the bone. He looked at his manhood, which laid in slumber, nestled in a patch of black curls. The boy then stepped back up to the mirror and took in his face. Dark, puffy circles were clear under his eyes, which were heavy lidded. The usual exuberant glint of his eyes, the ever present warm smile playing on his lips, the blatant look of curiosity of the boys face, all gone, replaced with shadows of deep seated fears that seemed to him to be coming to pass and the wears of way to much worrying was far to visible to deny. A yawn escaped the boy's lips. He had not slept well for the past few weeks now. 'Not since I had that argument with Yami and he left,' Yugi thought to himself as he wrapped a towel about his hips.

Yami was a part of him now thanks to the powers of the Millennium Puzzle, and could be his identical twin if he were the same age as Yugi. Yami had been an ancient pharaoh who had been entrapped in the puzzle. When Yugi came in possession of the puzzle and uncovered its mystery, Yami had been freed from its confines. He then had gone into Yugi where he had remained for a while, helping Yugi in many ways. Then somehow, somewhere down the road the puzzle had granted them the gift of separation. Yami then was capable of leaving Yugi's body in corporeal form. It was not long after that, that Yami took to staying separated from Yugi. That had been what the argument had been about, Yami staying separated to often for Yugi's liking. He felt so alone when the Pharaoh was not inside him. He had grown too dependent on having him with him all the time that when he was in his own form, Yugi felt empty inside, hallow.

Yugi walked out of the bathroom and walked down the corridor to his bedroom, deep in thoughts and memories of the argument. As soon as the boy entered his room and pushed the door shut, he let the towel fall from his hips to the floor. He walked across the room to the closet and peered inside. He took out a pair of pants and slipped them on. He did not fool with buttoning or zipping the pants, as he went to the bed. He sat down on the side heavily. A knock then sounded at the door, snapping the boy out of his thoughts.

"Come in" Yugi sighed out as he turned his head to see who it was.

He could not believe his eyes. There stood Yami leaning against the doorframe taking in the sight of him on the bed. Was it a joke his eyes were playing on him? Was it an illusion his tired mind had come up with or had he unwittingly fallen asleep and was dreaming? He sat there on the side of the bed silently for a moment watching the Pharaoh in turn, who seemed to be grinning. After a long moment of silence from both of them Yami moved to the bed and sat down next to Yugi.

"So, you have finally come back then?" Yugi asked in a low self-conscious and disheartened voice.

Instead of answering the question, Yami leaned back on his elbows and continued his silent observations of the other. He noted how thin the other one was becoming. The dark circles under his eyes and the fact that his eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed suggesting he had not been sleeping and he had been crying for quite a while, which made the Pharaoh's heart pang him terribly. He made a clicking noise with his tongue and sat back up. His grin became more visible as he leaned closer towards Yugi. He knew he had to keep a lighthearted face on for the boy's sake. The boy shifted slightly but made no attempt to move away, which pleased Yami. He leisurely reached up a hand and traced the protruding ribs.

This incited a small gasp from Yugi. The small gesture of the Pharaoh's touch made his heart skip a beat and he had no clue as to why. He saw Yami watch as chills ran through his skin, prickling it. Yugi stood up abruptly, suddenly all too aware of his half nakedness. He moved quickly back to the closet, grabbing a shirt and pulling it on hastily.

This reaction was not what Yami had hoped for but he would let it be and not push his luck any further for the moment. "Please Yugi, don't be mad at me. Bare in mind that, yes I like being with you, I just prefer to be with you as my own person. I detest having to act the parasite and you the host." Yami tried to speak softly to the other, for he knew exactly how fragile the other really was from the time he had been a part of him. He had grown to love the boy so completely since he had been freed from the puzzle. He wanted to be with his young counterpart as a lover, not as an inner part of him. He wanted and needed so much to show this to the younger one, but for all he was worth and all of the wisdom he held; he did not know how to show this to him. When they had argued about him staying separated for so much of the time it had sliced deeply at his heart. Why could he not make the boy understand how he felt about him? He had left only to try and figure out a way to do so, and now that he had a plan on how to go about showing the boy how he truly felt for him he had came back to put that plan in motion.

Yugi looked over to Yami and studied him for a moment. He weighed the words the Pharaoh spoke to him silently for a moment. With an extravagantly heavy sigh, Yugi went back to the bed and plopped down beside the older man. He brought shaking hands up to rub roughly at his face. "I know, and I more then understand that, Yami. Really, I do. It's just, when you're in your own form…" Yugi started then broke off as he looked down at his hands.

Yami skewed his head to the side and watched the other for a moment, waiting on him to finish his sentence. He noted how bad the other's hands shook and reached over. He entrapped the younger one's hands in one of his own and held them still. He brought his other free hand up to touch the side of the other's face softly. "Please, Yugi. I…I enjoy spending time with you like this, you as your own person and me as my own, it is the way it should really be, and deep down you know that. I also understand more than you know about how you feel when I am not inside you. You feel like half of you is missing. Can you truly not find solace in the fact that we can still be with each other when we are separated? Is it not even better, me being in my own form? We can do so much more together like this that we could not do merged."

Yugi looked down curiously at his small hands captured by just one of the Pharaohs. He felt the slight touch on his cheek and seemed to purr involuntarily. This confused him slightly but he did not dwell on it. He looked the Pharaoh in the eyes as he spoke to him. Tears welled up in the boys eyes. As the liquid ran its course down his cheeks, Yami wiped gently at them, his own eyes becoming dark with sadness. "I feel so alone when you're not inside me Yami. Like there is no life left in me. I miss the way I feel so full, so complete, when we are merged." Yugi's voice cracked slightly as he spoke this time, the pain all too apparent in him.

"I know, Yugi." Yami sat silently for a moment, caressing the others cheek softly, his one hand still encasing both of the young one's hands. "But there are other ways that we can be together, ways of me being with you with out being merged."

Yugi looked up at the Pharaoh with confused eyes. He truly did not know why he needed to feel the Pharaoh within him. Nor did he know why he was finding so much enjoyment in the small touches he was receiving from the older one. All Yugi knew is that he needed his friend in a way he could not yet understand. Yami smiled softly at him and without a word leaned forward. Ever so slightly, his lips grazed Yugi's before pressing against them softly. Yugi's breath caught in his throat as the Pharaoh's lips met his own. His eyes widened and then shut, as if on their own accord. Instinctively the boy began to return the kiss, uncertain what was happening between his friend and himself, but at the same time knowing he needed more of the ancient Pharaoh, perhaps more then he was willing to share. Just as quickly as the contact was made, the Pharaoh pulled away leaving the boy gasping softly. The Pharaoh looked at him for a moment and then smiled softly.

"See, Yugi, I can still make you feel the way you want to, even though I am not merged with you, only through a different type of connection and merger." Yami's voice was a full of unspoken emotion as he spoke.

Yugi's eyes slowly flittered open to look at the Pharaoh with curiosity and amazement. He could not believe that Yami had just kissed him. He could not believe that he had actually liked it either. As the boy's mind reeled, he slipped one of his hands free from the Pharaoh's and brought it up to touch the older man's face. Filled with wonderment, the boy leaned forward and kissed his friend again, experimenting with only one rational thought in his mind; he had to have as much of his friend as he could get.

Yami sat silently as the other initiated a second kiss. Inwardly he smiled as the boy began to experiment with his lips and mouth. The ancient Pharaoh purred as the young boy timidly deepened the kiss. He brought a hand up to cup the back of the other's head as the boy slowly and hesitantly snaked his tongue in to his mouth. Unable to sit silently and let the boy do all the work, Yami ran his free hand down the other's clothed torso. He began to return the kiss finally, taking up where Yugi's initiative fell short.

Yugi moaned in to the kiss as Yami deepened it further and took control. His head spun as the Pharaoh pressed him down on to the bed with his warm body, not once breaking the kiss. Yami allowed his kiss to become more demanding. Two small arms encircled him, pulling him closer. This was the sweetest feeling he had ever experienced and it was an honored reward. With one arm, the Pharaoh held himself up slightly away from the boy's small fragile form. He ran his free hand down the boy's chest and stomach again, this time allowing himself to find the undone waist of the other's pants.

Yugi slightly bucked his hips as the Pharaoh's hand found his open pants. As he felt the older man slip his hand into them, he gasped, breaking the kiss. He heard a small chuckle sound from Yami's throat as he became hard in his hand. A small illicit moan escaped him as Yami squeezed at his hardness slightly. He then felt the Pharaoh's lips on his throat and had to close his eyes against the dizzying effect Yami was having on him.

Unable to contain whatever it was that he felt, Yugi pulled Yami down on to him roughly. Yami chuckled lightly as he pulled his hand free from between them and playfully bit at the other's neck. Yugi let out a small gasping moan and Yami groaned as he began to leave a trail of small kisses and licks over the boy's throat and neck, only stopping long enough to tug off the boy's shirt. He smiled as he took note of how pliable and submissive the boy was being towards him. He then continued to kiss his way lower, making sure to stop and tease the other's nipples for a bit before he moved on.

Yugi arched his back slightly into Yami's attentions. The entire experience was strange yet comforting to him. His mind fuzzed and his body tingled as he was kissed and teased by the Pharaoh. All his disabled mind could think at this point was 'more, must have more.' His now all to hard manhood throbbed between their hips and each time Yami moved lower and his hips rubbed against the tender organ it lured a groan from his throat. None of it made any sense to him. He just knew that he needed more of the Pharaoh, needed for him to touch him more. He curled his fingers in to the older one's hair and brought his lips back up to his own, this time kissing him with force and a desire to have all the Pharaoh had to offer him. Insistently his tongue snaked its way back into the older one's mouth, demanding access. Yami submitted to the other one's desires and allowed him to take control of the situation. He was full of happiness that his counterpart obviously wanted him as he did him. Yugi then suddenly flipped the older one to his back and sat atop him. He leaned down and bit lightly at the Pharaoh's lower lip electing a growl from him, then began to kiss him again.

Yami reveled in Yugi's touches and demand. He had hoped he would be like this, full of fire. The boy seemed to enjoy the role of dominancy as Yami enjoyed every second at playing the submissive one. In the very recess of his mind, however, was a nagging feeling that the boy was only doing this to please him, to keep him from leaving again. He broke the kiss and held the boy's shoulders back for a moment looking at him. He then spoke softly and caringly to him. "Yugi, are you sure? We can stop if you wish not to go further."

Yugi smiled down at the Pharaoh and nodded. "I'm sure. I want more," he seemed to purr out.

Yami smiled with a nod and brought the boy's lips back to his own, kissing him as deeply as he could. In answer to this Yugi pressed himself against the Pharaoh's now apparent hardness and kissed him back as hard as he could. Then suddenly the roles changed again as Yami turned them back over so he was on top once more. Yugi laughed smally up at his friend, giving him a cattish grin. This was all Yami could take. He snagged his fingers in to the boy's hair and kissed him harshly causing the younger one to moan in to the kiss.

Yami was encouraged even further each time his younger counterpart writhed and made noises beneath his attentions. Slowly his lips moved lower until they met the open waist of Yugi's pants. The boy whimpered slightly which urged Yami further. He brought his hands up and carefully peeled the boy's pants off and tossed them to the floor. He knew from personal experience while he had been inside the boy that he wore no undergarments beneath his pants and would not find any this time either. He smiled as he seen he had been right. He then took in the sight of Yugi in his full glory and was astonished. This was the first time he had paid attention to what the boy looked like naked. He grinned and let out a soft whistle. "My, my, you are a big boy aren't you?" Yami teased.

Yugi blushed and squirmed slightly under the Pharaoh's eyes and words. No sooner then Yami said this he took Yugi's throbbing hardness in to his hand and began to stroke it lightly. He smirked as the boy whimpered and lowered his face to continue kissing his counterpart's stomach. More slowly then the first time he began to kiss his way back down to Yugi's organ. Then finally, when his lips met the root of the hardness Yami licked slowly up the length to the tip, which caused Yugi to buck harshly upward.

Yami was caught by surprise by this but allowed the organ to enter his mouth. He silently thanked his hand for being on the stiff flesh and keeping him from being choked by the sudden thrust. He then slowly and softly began to suckle the tip of Yugi's manhood as if he were an infant nursing on its mother's breast, all the while still stroking softly at the turgid flesh. A gasp sounded out followed by a groaning whimper from Yugi. Yami then removed his hand and took the length of the organ in to his mouth, suckling gently still as he did so.

"Oh Gods yes, Yami, please, don't stop." Yugi gasped out as his mind reeled even more. He was rapt with the sensations the Pharaoh was inducing in him. He clutched at the sheets below him and closed his eyes tightly. He had manipulated himself to release many times prior to this but never before had it felt so delicious and decadent.

Yami growled against the boy's hard organ in response and snaked his tongue around the tip teasingly. He then brought the entire length back in to his mouth and began to suckle harder at it as he moved up and down over the ample length. Yugi let out a long low moan and arched in to his friend's mouth further. Never had he known such pleasure in his life as he did in this moment. He let the scrunched sheet loose from one hand to bring it up and curl his fingers in the Pharaoh's hair once more, slightly pulling it in the process. This only caused Yami to suckle harder at the boy's organ. Suddenly as Yugi felt the familiar tightening in his lower stomach, he began to feel culpable. How could he have allowed this hedonistic act to go so far? As his release flooded out into the Pharaoh's mouth, his heart panged with shame.

Yami was surprised when Yugi's seed spilled in to his mouth so early. He did not retract his mouth though until he had caught every drop his counterpart had to offer him, purring at the salty-sweet taste of the boy. Finally, he pulled away and moved back up to the boy's throat. Once more, he began to kiss and lap at the other's neck. He then took notice of the difference in the boy's behavior. He had grown stiff, rigid beneath him and his advances. He moved back and looked down at the boy confused by the sudden change. He was devastated as the other pulled away and moved from his touch. He watched as the boy curled in to himself and began to shake with sobs. The Pharaoh's heart lurched in to his throat and fear seized his breath and mind. Had he been wrong? Had the boy not wanted this to happen? Had the boy not been ready for such an act to take place? Had the boy only said he wanted it to please him? Slowly he reached out a hand and touched the other's shaking shoulder lightly and tenderly only for him to jerk away from the touch. "Yugi, what's wrong?" The panic was thick in Yami's voice.

Yugi could not bear to look at his friend, or to be touched by him. He should not have allowed this to happen. He should have stopped it as soon as Yami had kissed him the first time. His loneliness was no excuse to allow such a degradation of his friend to occur. How had this happened? He then jolted up off the bed and ran to the bathroom. Yami jumped up and ran after the boy, afraid of what he might do. He was clearly in distress right now, though why he had no clue. Yugi ran in to the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and locked it as Yami knocked at the door and jiggled the knob. Slowly he came back to stand in front of the mirror as he blocked out the sound of the Pharaoh at the door calling to him to let him in. He looked over himself again, seeing nothing this time save for a stranger. Who was this looking back at him? It was not himself. He would have never used a friend to gratify himself, never allowed such a manipulation to take place. His eyes went dark and he balled his hands into fists. With a pain-ridden growl, he struck the mirror soundly with his right fist, shattering it. He watched as the shards of glass fell around his feet and in the sink. He looked at his fist. It was cut in many places, blood trickling from the wounds and dripping on to the bathroom floor and the mirror shards.

Yami heard the growl and jumped. He was seized with blinding fear as he heard the bathroom mirror shatter. He had to get in there to the boy. He knew that the door was locked so he could not just open the door and walk in. He would have to break the door in. Without another moment's hesitation, he threw his weight against the door and thankfully, it gave way under the impact on the first try. For a long moment, all he could do was stand there and stare at the broken pieces of glass all around Yugi. He then saw the blood on the boy's hand and on the floor. He finally snapped back to his-self and rushed to the boy. Coming up behind him, Yami hugged the other to himself tightly.

"Gods Yugi, why?" Yami waited for an answer and when none came, he panicked further. "Please Yugi, talk to me!" Tears began to flow down his face. He was terrified that he was loosing the boy just as he had finally received him the way he needed him.

Yugi just blinked numbly as he stared blankly at the shards of glass about him. Who had he become to use a friend to such a selfish end? His deadened mind slowly registered that Yami was behind him, hugging him. He was begging Yugi for something, what, his mind could not comprehend. He could not make since of it, it seemed all jumbled in his ears. He then saw Yami's face in one of the larger shards and saw tears streaming down the Pharaoh's face. 'How odd' he thought.

Not knowing what to do Yami turned Yugi around, seized his shoulders roughly, and shook him. "Snap out of it Yugi!"

Once more Yugi blinked absently. Recognition then finally started to seep slowly back in to his mind. He looked up at Yami for a minute. He then began to cry once more, this time clinging to his friend in fear that he would loose him forever over what he had done to him. He began to ramble through his sobs. "I am so sorry Yami. I just, I needed so much to feel connected to you the way I do when we are merged. Forgive me, Yami, please!" Yugi sobbed into the Pharaoh's chest.

Relief flooded in to Yami as the boy finally came to him self. He hugged the boy tighter as he heard his words. He knew then that the boy felt guilty for what had happened, that he had caused something to happen that not both had wanted. He would have to put a stop to this right here, right now. "Do you really think I would have done those things if I did not wish to Yugi? I wanted to, so do not dare start with the self-guilt trip. You did nothing wrong, we did nothing wrong. I love you, Yugi, and only want to be with you and make you happy" Yami replied carefully and softly.

Yugi sniffled as his mind slowly registered what the Pharaoh said. He looked up at him, tears running down his cheeks, just as they were his. 'How odd,' he thought. 'It's like we truly are mirror images.'He looked down at the shards of the broken mirror and saw something he never expected to see. He and Yami were separated, but at the same time, they were together. They had merged. He let a small gasp out as realization hit him in the gut. This is what Yami had meant. They were together, but through a different type of merger. He looked back up at Yami with awe in his eyes. "I love you too, Yami," Yugi finally replied as he hugged himself in to the Pharaoh further. He sighed happily when Yami's arms tightened about him as well. "I just wish I had realized it sooner."

Yami sighed and shifted, lifting Yugi up in his arms. He was alarmed somewhat by how light the boy was and planed on fixing that starting in the morning. For now, though, he was more concerned on nursing the boy in other ways. He carried the other to the bedroom and laid him down on the bed. Quietly he climbed in and laid down next to the boy, petting his small frame. Yugi made small pleasure noises that sounded a lot like purrs and mews in Yami's opinion. The Pharaoh leaned over and placed small kisses over his younger counterpart's jaw line and throat, all the while his hand exploring the boy's body softly and slowly. A few minutes later Yami noticed that the boy had fallen still and silent. He looked up and saw that Yugi had fallen asleep and smiled. 'He looks so innocent and sweet when he sleeps,' the Pharaoh thought to himself. Yami eased himself down in a comfortable position and sighed happily. He finally began to allow sleep to claim him as well. He was almost asleep when the young boy shifted and turned to his side, snuggling up to him and placing a small arm possessively about his waist. The Pharaoh placed his arm about the boy as well and hugged him to his-self, soon after finally falling to sleep as well.

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