Santana sat perched atop a table in the empty classroom, filing her nails down, not really paying attention to Brittany and her chatter about her cat. She really didn't want to be in school anymore, she wanted to go home after rehearsal but Rachel through a hissy fit and begged everyone to come to some meeting.
When Santana heard the banging of the gavel and Rachel begin with some junk about the emergency meeting now being called into session; She was momentarily paying attention but soon got lost in thought again as Rachel continued on, talking so fast that you'd think she was on Speed.
She heard Finn's name and was immediately pulled back into the conversation. 'Intimate?' She thought. She was about to say some wise ass crack about Finn having to be high but then she remembered his dumbass claimed he was in love with her.
Rachel continued to go on about her little disaster date with Finn, making Santana want to nod off. She was proud though that Finn walked away. Last thing he needed was to be used for sex again.
Quinn went on about waiting and Santana almost gagged. But then she realized something, she didn't want Rachel touching Finn in that way ever.
"I also think you should wait." She quickly added, "Speaking from experience, Finn is terrible in bed." She knew if she didn't say something rude people would question her.
"That's not cool, Santana." Of course Tina would call her out.
She had to think of something quick, more insults. "Oh what? If Rachel wants my sloppy seconds, she at least know the truth." That he was amazing and his kisses driver her insane. No, she can't say that. "Look, it was like being smothered by a sweaty, out-of-breath bag of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray."
Santana could tell by the expression on Rachel's face that she was going to wait. Mission accomplished. Then Brittany said something about her first time being an Alien invasion which just scares the hell out of Santana. Was her best friend raped? She made a mental note to talk more about this with Brittany later.
Of course Tina had to open her big mouth and blab on about her first time being amazing. No, just no. She was not going to make Berry think it's going to be perfect because she loves Finn. She was not going to ruin what she just settled by talking about being in love with Mike.
Santana had half a mind to kick her in her throat. But that might lead to questions. So instead she said, "I'm bored." The she hopped off the table and left the room.
For the rest of the week, all of Santana's thoughts were about Rachel and Finn having sex. She knew it hadn't happened yet because Finn has been ignoring Rachel since her failed attempt before the stupid meeting they had. She hopes they break up for good after this latest problem.
It's opening night, Santana is freaking out but she does her best to act cool. She over hears Rachel telling Blaine that she failed and is still a virgin. Does she tell everyone her personal drama? Damn. Santana walks out to her car in her costume to get the yellow roses that she picked up for Artie from her and the rest of the cast. She sees Finn walking out of the locker room and toward the theatre.
"Hey." She says in passing.
He stops and stares at her for a second before giving her a small nod and then walking away. She really didn't like that and she could tell something was on his mind. But instead of telling him off for pretty much ignoring her, she just continues on her way to her car.
They give Artie the flowers and he makes some speech about appreciating everyone. She really had no idea Artie felt like that. Yea, he's in a wheelchair for the rest of his life but he always seemed so proud and confident. She never thought he felt like that. She vowed to be nicer to him from then on.
The show was a huge success. They even got a standing ovation after America. Santana never felt so happy in her life. Her parents were even there, cheering her on and they never come to school events. Everyone is backstage, getting undress, talking about Breadstix.
"You're coming, right?" Puck asks, standing behind her.
"When have I ever passed up a chance to go to Breadstix?" She replies, smiling a little at him through the mirror.
She finishes taking Brittany's hair out of the short hair style they put her in and walks to her make-up counter. Immediately she spots the little bouquet of red roses. She assumes they're from her parents so she ignores them at first, taking her hair down and wiping the make-up off her face.
Everyone else is pretty much gone by the time she's changed into her jeans and sweater. She turns off the little light, grabs her make up bag and the roses. On her way out to her car does she finally notice the little card attached to the ribbon that's holding the flowers together.
She opens it up and sees the familiar chicken scratch on the paper, telling her 'Congrats, Santana. –Finn Hudson."
She takes a deep breath and quickly gets into her car, driving toward Finn's house. She keeps trying to talk herself out of going but she just can't do that. She only knows where he lives because she and Kurt have been carpooling throughout all of the rehearsals.
She pulls up to the two-story white house with black shutters. '201' reads the little numbers above the door. She takes another deep breath, gets out of her car and heads up the narrow sidewalk with plants on either side. She looks up at the stupid, lion door knocker, choosing to ignore it and tap her fist on the wooden door instead.
Finn answers and looks a bit surprised to see her. "Hi." She says but gets no response. "I got your flowers." He gives her another small nod, much like back at the school. "They're beautiful."
"You were really good." Finally, some words from him.
"Can I come in?" She is silently yelling at herself for even being here, at his house, hoping he'd say yes.
"Yea," He answers, stepping aside, opening the door up a little more.
She walks inside and notices no one is here but him. "Where is everybody?"
"Kurt's out with Blaine and Burt and Carole left for Toledo right after the show." She thinks it's weird he called his mom by her name. She doesn't point that out though, just sits beside him on the couch. "They got some kind of meet and greet in the morning, so…spending the night."
She nods a little; he clasps his hands together and looks down at the floor. "Why did you send me those flowers?" She finally asks.
"I told you, you were really good." He's still looking down at the ground.
"So was Rachel, you remember her, right? Your girlfriend."
"I broke up with her." She's a little surprised by that. "I'm surprised she hasn't told everyone in the world about it."
"Why?"
"Because she tells personal inform—"
"No…why did you break up with her?" She can't help the joy in her tone. She just hopes he doesn't notice it too much.
"She wanted to have sex just to become a better actress and I said no. The next day she like went off on me saying it could have been special and I don't know…I just don't think we could have anything special knowing she only does things for her own personal gain."
"Oh." Her joy deflated a little, knowing that he probably thinks the same way about her. "Why didn't you go to Breadstix?" She wants to change the subject as soon as possible.
"I wasn't in the mood for celebrating."
"Is it because of the break up?"
"No." He finally looks at her. "Cooter…the college football scout…he picked Shane."
She understands why he seems so sad now. She knows that scholarship was his ticket out of Lima. "I'm sure there will be other—"
"No! There won't be others. I suck. I'm not good enough to get a football scholarship, or a singing scholarship. I'm not even good enough to have a girl want me without it having to benefit them in some way. I'm going to be stuck here in this crappy town for the rest of my life." He exploded on her.
She usually would have rolled her eyes, called him melodramatic and told him to grow a pair but she could really see how hurt he was. She was actually surprised he didn't find a chair to kick over. She scooted closer to him. "What's so wrong with staying in Lima?" She asked in a small voice.
"Only losers stay here."
"I guess I'm a loser then."
He gives her a confused expression. "You're staying here, in Lima?" She nods. "Why?"
"Believe it or not but I like it here. My family lives in Lima, my friends live in Lima. I don't plan on being some famous star after I graduate so I don't need to move to New York or California. I like it here. I mean…where else am I going to find Breadstix?"
He smiles a little. "What are your plans?"
She tucks some hair behind her ear, a little embarrassed to admit her plans to anyone. "Well, I've been thinking about becoming a Kindergarten teacher."
"You? Teaching kids?" He sounds surprised.
"Yea, I love kids and I think it would be a pretty fun job. Something I enjoy doing. Like…you like fixing cars, right?" He nods. "So, why not continue doing something you like to do?"
"But aren't we supposed to want to get out and get a new life."
"That's only when you don't enjoy your life." He doesn't look too convince, so Santana moves even closer to him. "Look, Finn…I know I'm not like the nicest person to you, or anyone for that matter. But you're more than good enough. You're an amazing singer, funny, sweet, a little goofy but just…really amazing. And if some douche named Cooter couldn't see that, then hell, it's his loss."
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Aren't we friends?"
"I don't know, are we?"
"I like to think so."
He chews on his bottom lip a little and stands up. "Want some apple cider?" She laughs and nods, takes his hand which he stretched out to her and follows him into some family room. She notices the fire going with some blankets and pillow on the floor in front of it. "The heat is messed up so I've been keeping warm this way." He says before she can ask.
She lets go of his hand and moves to sit on the floor in front of the fire. He goes into the kitchen and comes back out a few minutes later with two glasses of cider. "Thanks." She says after taking a sip.
"It's left over from…well…you know."
She nods and sets her glass down. He does the same after another sip and then leans back onto a pillow. "I'm sorry." She says in a low voice, looking into the fire.
"For what?"
"For being a horrible person." She looks at him, almost breaking when she does. "For using you. For making your first time a bad one." She can feel her eyes tearing up a little. "When I lost my virginity, it was awful. He…" She took a deep breath. "He pretended to love me and care about me for months and I finally gave into him. He was so mean and it hurt and I begged him to be gentle but he didn't listen. And afterwards, he broke up with me. I promised to never treat anyone badly on their first time and I broke that promise. I'm so sorry, Finn."
"You didn't treat me badly. And really, you didn't use me. Yea…you said it was to get captain but you didn't tell anyone until almost a year later. And whoever that guy was, didn't deserve you, Santana." He moved closer to her. "Hey…don't cry." She hadn't noticed the tears that spilled over.
"I just…I just really wish I could take that day back, Finn. So you could lose it to someone you love."
"Don't say that." He whispers, his hands cupping either side of her face, his thumbs wiping away her tears. He leans into her and captures her lips into his, kissing her gently.
Her eyes flutter shut and she grabs onto his forearms, kissing him back, melting into him. She can't help the little noise she makes as his tongue slips into her mouth. Finn lets go of her face, moving his hands to her waist. Santana's hands move from his forearms up to his shoulders. He turns them around, laying her back, her head landing on one of the pillows he has propped up.
He pulls away after a while and just looks down at her. "Truth is, Santana…I'm happy I lost my virginity to you in that hotel room. It might not have been idea but I would never want to change that night."
She smiles lightly at him and asks, "Why?"
"Because I was with you," He answers.
She slides her hands up around to the back of his neck and into his hair. She pulls him back down to her, kissing him again. He's lying on her, his hands resting on her hips, kissing her back. Deciding to take it to the next level she moves her hands down his back, grabbing hold of his sweater and pulling it off of him. The kiss is broken only to get his sweater off.
Her sweater is pulled off next, breaking the kiss yet again. She notices him looking down at her chest and she blushes a little, remembering that they had sex before she got her implants. He looks back up at her, she notices him gulping a little.
"Do you…not want me?" She asks sounding nervous.
"No." He says. She takes a deep breath and looks off into the fire. "I mean…No, I don't not want you." She looks back at him, looking a little confused. He looks confused himself. He looks back down to her and says, "I want you, Santana."
"You have me." She whispers to him.
She notices the little lopsided smile that always manages to make her knees weak begin to grace his lips. She snakes a hand up her body, stopping when she gets to the little clasp on the front of her bra. His smile falls and his eyes are back on her chest. She undoes the clasps and lets go, letting the bra fall open, revealing to him her bare chest.
He lies back on her, kissing her right under her jaw, one of his hands rests on her breast, his fingers massaging her. She closes her eyes, her fingers trailing up and down his spine. Every so often he grinds his hips into hers, causing her to let out a small moan.
He's kissing all over her neck now, his free hand moving between them, unzipping and unbuttoning her pants. As he pulls them down, his lips move over her collar bone and then to her chest, kissing pretty much every inch of her exposed skin.
She moves her hands quickly to the front of his pants, wanting to even out how much they are revealing to each other. She starts to unbutton his pants when he sits up. He looks down at her legs, laughing a little.
"Always take shoes off first." He says and she looks down at her legs to see what he's talking about. She laughs when she sees her pants stuck at her ankles, the little boots she has on not letting him take her jeans off completely. "You look good in purple." He comments as he pulls her boots off and the rest of her pants, tossing them to the side.
It takes her a second to understand the compliment, forgetting that she had been wearing her purple, lace bra and pantie set. She looks his body over and sees the green boxers sticking out of his pants and decides to comment on them. "You look good in green." She sits up, takes the rest of her bra off, tosses it to the side and goes back to unbuttoning his pants and then unzips them. He pulls them off of his body and tries to push her back again but she stops him, pushing a finger into the top of his boxers, pulling them off his hip slowly. "No more talking." She whispers as she continues to pull them down, her eyes fixed on his crotch.
She bites her bottom lip as she anticipates seeing him, all of him. She remembers him being big but she didn't actually see it the first time they had sex. She wasn't really trying to look. But now she was paying attention and when he finally came into view, she let out the breath that she hadn't realized she was holding in. She looks back up toward his face and sees him watching her. She feels him pulling on her own underwear so she lies back down and lifts her ass up off the ground for him.
He reaches over for his pants and pulls out his wallet. She watches him with questionable eyes and then sees the condom he pulls out from behind his i. d. Santana takes it out of his hand and quickly rips the wrapper open and rolls the condom onto him. She starts to stroke him, getting him harder. As she does that he moves his hand between her legs and starts to rub her clit, making her even wetter then she already was.
Her hand drops to the side, pulling up at the blanket they're lying on top of. She moans and closes her eyes, rolling her hips up against his hand. She's never liked being teased and she is pretty sure Finn wasn't trying to tease her but it sure felt like it.
After a while Santana felt his hand move away from her and then felt him enter her, causing her eyes to open back up, a loud moan escaping from her. Her hands flew up to his shoulders, gripping them tightly. He doesn't move until she tells him to. She thinks that's nice of him, waiting to make sure she was comfortable rather than just thrusting into her, not caring if she was hurting or not.
All of his touches are soft and gentle, his movements slow and sweet. She's never had sex like this before and she's not even sure if she could consider it sex. Because whatever this is, whatever it is they are doing, was so much better. She trails her fingers down one of his arms, taking his hand into hers, lacing their fingers together.
It's a small act given their circumstances but she can tell Finn liked it by the way his eyes flicker to their hands and the smile that appears on his face. They move together pretty perfectly, both of them moaning at the same time. Finn begins to thrust a little harder into her, which makes her fly toward the edge.
She feels her muscles begin to tense up, her back arches off the floor and her eyes snap shut. She pushes her knees into his sides, moaning out his name as she hits her orgasm. He continues his pace as she comes down from her high, lazily opening her eyes back up. He leans down and kisses her more passionately then she's ever been kissed before.
She wants to make him feel as good as he made her feel so she uses her other hand, the one that's not holding his, to push at his chest, rolling them over. She lowers herself down on top of him, rocking her hips over him, keeping her eyes on his.
She moves up and down on him, gasping and moaning since she was still sensitive from her own orgasm. He lets go after a while, moaning out her name as he does so. After he comes down from his high, she lies down on top of him, both of them catching their breaths.
Eventually she gets off of him and lets him get up and throw the condom away. She pulls on her panties and his sweater, lying back on the pillows again as she waits for him to come back. When he does, he pulls his boxers on and lies next to her, resting his hand on her hip and kissing her.
When the kiss is broken, Santana moves closer to him, cuddling up in his arms, her head resting on his chest. He pulls on the hem of his sweater and laughs a little. "Looks good on you," He comments.
"Thank you."
"So, do you always wear matching bra and underwear?" She nods in response. "Well, I look forward to seeing the other sets." He says before kissing her again.
She laughs a little against his lips and kisses him back, her hand moving up into his hair. After they've pulled away from each other, she rests her head back onto his chest, she plays with the little bit of hair behind his ear as they lie together in silence.
They fall asleep together in front of the fire. Santana only wakes up because she hears the front door open and close. She thinks about grabbing her clothes and hiding but by the time she gets out of Finn's hold, Kurt is staring at her. Her cheeks go red and he lets out an awkward laugh and walks toward the stairs.
"Finally someone that sweater looks good on." He says right before he walks up them.
She laughs a little and lies back down with Finn, pulling a blanket up over them. After a few minutes of trying to fall back to sleep she decides to just wake Finn up by "accidentally" elbowing him five times in the side.
She pretends that his waking up woke her up and pretends to be all cranky at first. After a few minutes of him saying sorry and kissing her, she tells him she's hungry. And without any more effort than that, he gets up to make her some pancakes.
Feeling a little bad about tricking him, she goes into the kitchen with him and keeps him company as he cooks; which really just consists of her distracting him from the skillet, causing him to burn four of the pancakes.
"Can we have bacon too?" She asks, looking inside his fridge, hoping he had some.
"I love that you're not a vegan."
She laughs a little and looks at him, not really sure what that has to do with anything. "Ok…?"
"Come here." He says, motioning for her to come to him with the spatula.
She walks over to him, wrapping her arms around his body, his arms going around hers. They stand in front of the oven, kissing each other for a minute or two before Santana smells something burning. She pulls away and tries to wave away the smoke as Finn flips the fifth burnt pancake out of the pan.
"Maybe I should wait in the living room."
"Good idea."
She stands up on the tips of her toes, kisses him on his cheek and then runs out of the kitchen to take her place back on the floor in front of the dwindling fire. Even though Finn doesn't wish they could change anything about their first time together, she still does. She just wishes that instead of it being with someone he loves that it was with her and it was like tonight.