To a child unknown
Miss Parker discovers a letter written to a child a mother doesn't even know.
To my beautiful child,
I write this before I even know you or myself. I will be your mother but as of yet I don't even know who you are.
I'm thirteen years old and I sit at my desk staring out into a dark starry night, my father is gone and my baby sitter yet again asleep in a drunken stupor.
I write this out of fear… I lost my mother when I was young, but I know I will never leave. Once you're in my arms I will never let you go.
I our life planned out, I will finish schooling and become a teacher like my mother wanted to become. Your father will come home to us each night and embrace us both before you two will play until I scold you both with a grin.
You will take no notice and your father will tickle me until I relent and we collapse on the floor tired from playing and laughter. I will watch as you sleep and dream about your day before your father drags me away with a playful smile knowing that each night I will do this until your old enough to tell me to go away.
Our love will be enough, you will never go without our love and you will be grateful for it even when you declare that we cramp your style.
I say this because as much as I know my father loves me… he has a greater love, for his work. I know only small parts about it but I know it's important, you will wonder why I know this…I tell you now in this letter how I know because his work is the reason you will be born. Because this is how I met your father, we were friends as young children and I knew that I would always love him.
Sometimes he annoys me but I love your father and he loves me and he will love you, because we made you. But I will tell you all about when you're old enough to understand… even the part on how I and your father created you.
My only fear… the fear that made me write this to you my precious child, is because I fear sometimes that I might not be apart of the dream life I dreamt. I look to my own father and sometimes I see a future that worries me.
But for now all I need to know of this letter is that I will love you always… even if I don't see you grow I will always love you as does my mother, I feel her love wherever I go.
You may wonder how I knew you would be apart of my life at the age of thirteen, because you have not even been conceived…you won't be for many years but I felt the need to write to you- even though I might not be able to give this to you- I won't you to understand that even though your not even yet growing inside of me I think of you. I see you as you will be, from the first moment I lay my eyes on until the day you have grown.
My darling child, my beautiful baby… you will exist and I will be proud to know that I helped create such a perfect and wonderful creature, so until the day I hold you in my arms I speak these words in the hopes that when you are created you know that I love you dearly.
I loved you my child before you even existed, I will love you when you grow inside me and I will love you until I no longer exist.
Your loving mother.
Years later
Miss Parker slammed her front door shut and growled when she stalked over to her drink cabinet, another near miss. Jarod was within her grasp but yet again it seemed the fates were against her and he slipped away into the crowd leaving Parker growling and disappointing her father once more.
Parker grabbed her bottle of whiskey and went to pour herself a drink when she saw it, a white envelope addressed to her. Parker frowned when she saw it was addressed to her but it read 'a thirteen year old Parker'.
Smirking Parker ripped the letter open knowing that it was another taunt from Jarod; he had a way of always getting the last word in.
Parker unfolded the letter a skimmed the first few lines, and that was as far as she got for she managed to slump back into a chair with a hand covering her mouth.
The letter to be to her child that she had pictured when she was thirteen year old; it was a letter of promises and hopes.
Tears prickled at her eyes as she smiled reading her own words that seemed to have been written in another lifetime in a distance land. Parker couldn't help but smile sadly as she remembered the man she had wanted to spend her life with, the one she had imagined would hold their first boy beaming with pride and love to both his baby and her.
She reflected on how her life had turned out and how wrong her younger self was; but she was bitter, she didn't laugh instead she mourned. How she wished she could go back, not to warn her self to give up all these dreams instead to warn her to hold on to them, hold on to them with such tightness that she shouldn't see anything else.
The shrill from the black cordless phone pierced her bubble forcing Parker to stare at the phone a little startled… instead of growling she only smiled more. Jarod and his taunts was a part of their routine, and this taunt didn't annoy her.
"Hello Jarod" Parker greeted once she held the phone to her ear, she looked back to the letter and lent back into her chair.
"I take you found your surprise" Jarod questioned lightly, she knew he was smiling like he no doubt knew she was smiling.
"It's called breaking an entry" Parker sniped lightly and she received a laugh from Jarod.
"I thought you might like to get in touch with your self" Jarod offered gaining a light chuckle from Parker. She shook her head and stared at the letter, he had read the letter and she didn't care.
"Where" she trailed off shifting her attention to her window to stare out into the night.
"Does it matter how I came across that letter… all that should matter is that you have it" Jarod questioned, Parker nodded leaning her head back and closing her eyes dreaming of the dreams she had dreamt so many years ago.
"No it doesn't matter… I bet you were surprised to read it" Parker asked with a grin, hoping she had surprised him like he surprised her.
Jarod laughed and she could hear people chatting in the background, no doubt his next Pretence.
"Miss Parker… it's only fair that I know everything about you just like you know everything about me" Jarod chimed causing Parker to smirk. She opened her eyes lazily and wondered if it could have been different.
"Do you think it's a shame that she doesn't exist anymore… the girl who wrote the letter" Parker asked frowning, she was met with silence and she wondered if Jarod had slipped away.
"I don't think she's gone…I think she's being held prisoner and once this over she be able to get out. What happens to her after that is up to you Miss Parker" Jarod assured causing Parker to smile reassured holding the letter to her chest.
"I think it's time for us to go Miss Parker…you seem more like that thirteen year old tonight. I like her better, she doesn't bite" Jarod joked causing Parker to groan then sit up but she didn't lose her smile instead she soften.
"Goodnight Jarod" Parker declared before she held her breath. She waited a few moments before she hanged up, placing the phone beside her bottle of whiskey she pondered if she needed help forcing the dreams away. But she simply smiled and held the letter closer to her knowing the only dreams she was going to have was the ones of her, her husband and their child.
Even if they didn't exist yet she would dream about them… the man she loved did exist and proved that fate didn't always play by the rules. There was hope for them yet.
Jarod smiled at the phone, he hit stop on the tape player and silenced the background noises.
"I was never surprised Parker… a man should never be surprised by the woman he loves" Jarod spoke aloud, hoping that somehow Parker was still listening to him.
Jarod however put the phone down and picked up a piece of paper and smiled, re-reading a letter he had written as a nine year old; it wasn't to his unknown child… it was to the woman he would marry.
He never gave it to her, she still had four years to figure it out but he knew that she would and he would give her this letter after their first date.
Be mine forever, for I will love you until the day we die and beyond.
Miss Parker, I shall always be yours.
Jarod.
He settled into his bed and smiled, picturing the woman he loved in reality clutching the letter of a past girl tightly to her and dreaming of life she had yet to claim.
Both dreaming of the child that would change everything… for ever.
The end
Ok this is my second Pretender Fic and i hope it was ok... please review and hope you enjoy this little sweet nothing, i got the idea after reading Barbara Davies The Russian lieutenant's Woman.