So it's time for everyone's favorite thing: Jade's Annual V-day Fanfic(s). WOOOOO! Anyways, I wanted to do something really different this year so I made Teresa give me a challenge. So she gave me this premise. I was intrigued…definitely intrigued. So, here goes!
NOTE: Okay…so…they are at Hogwarts and everything but…er, I don't know, Voldemort just was killed or something, awhile ago. Like in their (HHR) fourth year, so all is well in Hogwarts…and so being that there was no sixth year Voldemort catastrophes…that whole Lavender/Ron thing never happened. Okay? Just roll with the punches.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Warnings: Wacky hijinks…some mild swearing.
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Valentine's Day According To Lavender
"She's the sort of woman who lives for others—you can always tell the others by their hunted expressions."
—C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
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Valentine's Day is supposed to be the most romantic, most wonderful time of the year—especially for a very attractive female—namely me. It's supposed to be all roses, chocolates, and those cute little singing teddy bears that you can get at Honeydukes that Parvati and I spent twenty minutes sighing over.
But this year, things weren't right at all.
First of all, Parvati and I did not have valentines. Or boyfriends. Or boys who were potentially boyfriends and/or valentines. Here we were, three days from V-day and nothing. Not even two boys we could pass off as valentines for a day.
"It's not fair!" Parvati was sitting on a bench next to me, which overlooked part of the grounds. "You'd think someone would ask!" It was before class was starting and everyone had pretty much finished eating breakfast.
"It's not my fault." I scuffed the ground with the toe of my shoe. I tried to think of something that would cheer us both up. "I heard Millicent Bulstrode's going to ask Blaise Zabini to be her valentine."
"She is not!" Parvati looked up in excitement. "I thought Zabini was gay!'
"Not to mention that she's so much bigger than he is." I giggled. "Can you even imagine? Zabini'd be crushed!"
"Oooh, well, Ginny Weasley is secretly dating someone and no one can find out who!" Parvati commented as the red-haired sixth year girl walked past us. "Who do you think it is?"
"Potter's a possibility." I ticked off boys on my fingers. "I know she had a crush on him a few years back. Maybe Seamus…I mean, she already dated Dean."
"Who says it's a Gryffindor?" Parvati speculated. "I mean, Ginny would only date someone really good looking, everyone knows that…maybe it's Zacharias Smith."
"Ew." I wrinkled my nose. "You think he's cute?"
"A little." Parvati shrugged. "But think of how it would look. Smith hates the Gryffindor Quidditch team because we always win." She said this as though it were a personal accomplishment of hers. Parvati usually thought that if a Gryffindor did it, it was her accomplishment.
"That would be a good reason to keep it under wraps." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. Then I grinned deviously at her. "I'm going to tell Smith that you think he's cute."
"Oh, don't!" Parvati wailed, even though she knew I was joking. "It's my seventh year—I don't want to be remembered as 'the girl who was dating Smith'!"
"You would date him?" I leaned away from her.
"No! But…" Parvati looked like she was considering something. "I might not have a choice. Valentine's Day is only three days away!"
We sat there, thinking about that little fact in misery. It was our last year at school. Where were the secret admirers? The boys who only fancied older girls? The boys who only fancied girls their age? The guys who love Parvati's hair? The guys who think I'm as cute as a button? That fancied English girls? That fancied Indian girls? Girls whose entire name was made up of colors?
Then I watched the field and students were going to and fro, talking to each other, even though it was cold. Ginny Weasley stopped to say something to Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley. As I watched them, Ginny said something and then walked off. Ron said something to Hermione who shook her head and then it looked like they got into some argument that made them look like they were both thirty and married even though they were never going to get together. There was even a betting pool on it. (The most popular bet was never and Hermione would marry someone really smart and rich. (An incredibly small portion of those bets mentioned that it would probably be Draco Malfoy—weird! I mean star-crossed love is one thing but that's like parallel universe crossed love.))
Then Draco Malfoy walked up to them to say something snarky. Didn't he have anything better to do than follow Harry around all day? Bother him at mealtimes? Send him little messages in class? Flick things at him in Potions? I swear if Potter was a girl I would think…
I would think…
"Parvati." I turned towards her slowly. "Do you think Malfoy has like…a thing for Harry Potter?"
"What?" She blinked at me several times. "Hmm…well…"
"It's just that, you know, he's always right wherever Harry is. Then he acts like a little kid who's in love on the playground. You know, pushing the object of his affection into mud puddles and all that?" I watched her expression go from confused, to enlightened in just a few seconds.
"But you know…Harry kind of does it too…I mean sure, Malfoy's the instigator and all that, but Harry doesn't just ignore him either." Parvati pointed out in her practical tone.
"Then that whole group is riddled with potential couples who are never going to get together. Ron and Hermione, Harry and Malfoy…" I leaved forward so that I could prop my elbow on my knee and rest my chin in it.
There was a moment of silence and then it was like the clouds had cleared away and the sun had come out.
Parvati and I often come up with the same kind of ideas. Even though Padma is her twin sister, it feels like we're the twins. (Not in a highly suspicious Fred and George Weasley "are they…?" kind of way.) We even finish each other's sentences and all that.
"Omigod!" We both exclaimed at once and then turned to look at each other.
"We could get them together!" I suggested at once.
"It'll be better than having a valentine!" Parvati and I jumped up and clasped our hands together, jumping excitedly. "It'll be so much fun!"
"So much!" I agreed. "And it's in the spirit of the holiday!"
And so, Parvati and I set off to help two couples to the happiness that they couldn't have gotten if left to their own devices.
Also, we went to put down twenty galleons that Hermione and Ron would be together by the end of Valentine's Day.
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First off, you have to know that matchmaking isn't easy—it's really hard. In some cases it's like trying to get a mountain to go have a swim. You better have a lot of heavy duty equipment on hand. So, first we went to get supplies.
Although it was not a Hogsmeade weekend, there were ways of getting special permission to do a little shopping in Hogsmeade. You will need the following:
1 bottle of sherry
1 really great set of acting skills
6 daffodils
2 made up premonitions
1 Professor Trelawney
First, take sherry from house elves and say that you want to bring it up to her yourselves. Then acquire daffodils (not the honky ones that Sprout grows in her greenhouse—they're ugly). Go up to the Divination classroom.
Next give sherry and daffodils to Professor Trelawney. Now, gently take your made up premonitions and fold in your acting skills—don't stir.
"So the thing is, Parvati and I both had these horrible visions of what would happen to us if we didn't go to Hogsmeade!" I pleaded. We were Trelawney's favorite students by far. Hermione Granger may be the favorite of the Deputy Headmistress, but we were smart enough to be the favorites of someone really gullible. Try sneaking this one past ole' McGonagall!
"Yes, I have seen this too." Professor Trelawney agreed and Parvati had to pretend to cough to keep from giggling. "Let me write you a note. You'll be excused from afternoon classes."
Bake until Lavender Brown.
We came back from Hogsmeade with sacks bulging with V-day stuff. We looked like Cupid must on the most romantic day of the year. (Oh! I wish we could wear little wings around! But I guess we shouldn't…we're trying to be sneaky.)
We got back in plenty of time for Potions. Now, normally, Parvati and I would love an excuse to blow off Potions (I don't know how I tested into the N.E.W.T.'s class but my mom said I absolutely had to take it and since Parvati and I did everything together…) but today we had a mission.
Our bags were full of our special equipment and so all we needed was some kind of opening. Snape seemed to be keeping a special eye on us which is unfair, because usually he's watching Harry, to try and find a way to give him detention. He must have some kind of spoiling-everybody's-fun radar.
Luckily (for us), Snape actually got called out of his classroom by Dumbledore for something. (Who cares? The important part is that he left.) He told us all that if he got back and found us not working we'd all have a week's worth of detention. (Blah, blah, blah. How does he expect to be taken seriously as a Potions professor when it's obvious he is completely inept at hair potions? He could at least whip up a de-greaser.)
It was time for Lavender and Parvati's Super Special Valentine's Day Surprise! (We hadn't really had time to name it.)
"Hey, Harry." I scuttled over to where he was trying to make his potion turn green (his was purple—I think Dumbledore let a lot of people into Potions who really shouldn't have been there) and trying to get Hermione to help him.
"Um, hi." He looked at me, looking a little surprised.
"Look, I have to tell you something." I peered around, making it obvious that I didn't want Hermione to hear.
"What?" Harry followed me a little ways away from Hermione, who was looking at us curiously but clearly couldn't hear anything because Snape might have said no talking, but to a classroom full of teenagers, that's more of a suggestion than a rule.
I tried to look a little uneasy. I put on my best 'I know something you don't know' face. "Sorry, it's really hard to say. I don't even know why he wants me to tell you. I guess since we're both Gryffindors…I'm sure he wanted Ron or Hermione to tell you for him but you three are always together so it's pretty hard to get out around you…"
"Who?" Harry hazarded a guess as to what he was supposed to ask about.
"Draco." I waved a flippant hand. "He told me to tell you that he has a crush on you."
"What?" Harry stared at me as though I had grown three heads. You would think that this wouldn't have shocked him at all. I mean, isn't it obvious? Parvati and I figured it out just by watching them. Of course, we are way more attune to people's emotions. We took the 'How Emotionally Savvy Are You?' quiz in Witch Weekly and both got perfect scores.
"Yeah, it was shocking for me too." I watched his face carefully and it turned an odd shade of purple before he slowly turned his head to glance at Draco, who, because Cupid was giving me and Parvati the thumbs-up, was looking at Harry. "Well, toodles!" And I walked back to where Parvati was.
"How did it go?" Parvati asked as soon as I was in devious whispering range.
"Perfectly!" I had to resist the urge to high five her because I think that would have given the game away. We both looked up to see Harry still sending Draco incredulous looks—which was just plain confusing the blonde-haired boy. Hermione kept nudging Harry and looked like she was trying to ask him if anything was wrong.
"So, what are we going to do about Ron and Hermione?" Parvati murmured as the talking ceased because Snape had entered the classroom.
"Easy." I poured some powdered spine fish into my cauldron. "Remember when Hermione went with Viktor Krum to the Yule Ball?" Parvati nodded eagerly. "I heard they got into a horrendous fight over it—which means Ron gets jealous easily. All we need is a secret admirer."
"We'll get some of this stuff together and I'll deliver it to Hermione at dinner." Parvati whispered and then we both went quiet because Snape was walking past, looking at us rather suspiciously. (Maybe he suspects we know how to wash our hair—it's called shampoo, Professor.)
We'd have to wait patiently until then—although in the meantime, I needed help from someone. Someone small, who could get into places we couldn't, or at least places that would attract attention to us if we went. Someone good at keeping secrets…someone who seem to be able to pop up anywhere.
In short, we needed Colin Creevey.
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I took the best seat I possibly could for dinner that night, that way I could enjoy the show, without looking like I deliberately was trying not to be noticed. Across the table from where I (and Parvati shortly) was sitting were Dean and Seamus. On Seamus' left was Harry, who was sitting next to Ron Weasley.
On my right, was Hermione. This seems awfully close you may say, but I was like a fly on the wall, you just didn't notice me until it was too late. And by too late, I mean, you were hopelessly on your way to a much better and exciting love life.
I should do this for a living! Parvati could be my partner and co-founder of the whole thing, and we could get couples together and give advice…oooooh, and then I bet we'd get on the cover of Witch Weekly because we'd be so famous. But that was for the future, now was now.
"Hermione," Parvati had put together a beautiful basket of Valentine's Day treats (arrangement is everything) with a lovely ribbon on top and a card. (It was a little girly looking, but Hermione would use her clever mind and guess that her secret admirer, being a boy (Not all boys are Draco Malfoy, they don't know how to put their outfits together correctly, let alone a valentine!) had to get a girl to do it.) "I was asked to deliver this to you." Parvati very carefully didn't look at me; instead she was looking at Hermione, beaming curiosity.
"Oh!" Hermione's head was turned away but knowing her, she went pink. She sounded flustered. "Who…who's it from?"
"I've been sworn to secrecy." Parvati lied and looked like she was willing to defend her oath to the death. "There's a card, maybe it'll help!" She watched (because it would have been very suspicious if she wasn't being nosy) Hermione open the card.
"It's not signed…" Hermione looked a little disappointed. "But it's got a little thing written here... 'Regularly, I realize that I love you.'"
"Someone's got a secret admirer!" Parvati sing-songed happily. Hermione turned back towards her two best friends, who couldn't be any help in this department because, well, they were definitely not the most sensitive of blokes.
"That's nice parchment." Harry offered before taking a bite of his steak.
Now, you may be wondering what Ron Weasley's reaction was. Thankfully, I could see the whole thing, so here goes: First, he looked confused because Hermione wasn't the kind of girl who got mysterious gifts. But then, he got over that and was glaring at the card in Hermione's hand as though it had called him names.
"I think the parchment is stupid." Ron muttered—but somehow, not very quietly because I could hear him. "Besides, it's not a secret admirer."
"How do you know?" Hermione's voice was wavering on challenging.
"Come on! It's you! It's probably some prank cooked up by the Slytherins." Ron made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Parvati and I both winced. He was jealous—but he was also near to ruining everything.
(What would he do without us? Probably end up alone and feel really stupid every time he came to a reunion and saw Hermione with her rich, intelligent husband. (Not to mention that we'd be in the hole on the betting tables…))
"So it couldn't possibly be that someone has a crush on me?" Hermione's lips pursed. "It has to be a joke?"
"Yes!" Ron didn't see that he was in dangerous waters. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, 'Regularly, I realize that I love you.'" There's no need to be mean…we had lots of way better ideas but we had to keep it simple. "What an idiot! The Slytherins are probably all having a good laugh. No one actually says things like that." Yeah, I'd say no one wears those horrible shoes with those ugly pants, but like you and your assumptions, Weasley, I'd be wrong!
It's worth mentioning that every time that Ron mentioned the house of bad reputations, Harry looked over at the Slytherin table. My little plan was working so well. Simplicity is the key to success!
"Even if it is the Slytherins, they're a thousand times more considerate than you, Ron!" Hermione threw the card huffily in the middle of the sweets. "I guess you wouldn't understand that, Mr. 'I-Didn't-Know-You-Were-A-Girl-Until-Fourth-Year'!" With that, she grabbed her bag and the basket (probably going to drown her sorrows in sweets—just because she's the smartest girl in school, doesn't mean she doesn't do some of the same things we do) before stomping out of the Great Hall.
Parvati slid into the seat on my left but although we were both looking at our plates, our ears were tuned into Ron and Harry's conversation.
"So…" Harry began in a very careful tone. "You think the Slytherins are playing Valentine's Day pranks?"
Oh no! Ron, don't you dare plant the seed of doubt or I swear I'll throttle you like you've never been throttled before.
"They aren't." Colin Creevey popped up to my right, as though he had been there all along. "They're currently working on a plan to do something involving badgers to the Hufflepuff common room."
The two boys looked up at him.
"Oh." Harry tried to look nonchalant. "I just…was asking. Because of Hermione's secret admirer."
Ooooooh, he's worried that it might not be true what I said today.
And it wasn't. Well, not exactly. Little white lies are perfectly okay if it's for everyone's benefit. And ending that godawful 'I can't say I like you so I'm going to yank your pigtails and other stupid little kid stuff' back and forth feud was going to benefit everyone.
Parvati and I squealed in unison at the mention of the secret admirer.
"I don't know who it could be!" I looked over at Seamus and Dean (who can be just as much of a gossip as Parvati and I any day…) "Although, Hermione did get Viktor Krum's attention in our fourth year…"
"Oh! Do you think it's him? Sending her things all the way from Bulgaria? That's so romantic!" Parvati put a hand to her heart.
"It's not Viktor-bloody-Krum." Ron swore, looking as though he were going to burn down the entire country of Bulgaria the first chance he got. "He would have signed his name. Although," He smirked a little. "The person who wrote that note obviously isn't very good at writing in English."
Yeah, well, you can't dress yourself properly, Weasley.
"So, it's not the Slytherins then?" Harry tried to confirm.
"Why?" Ron looked at his friend for a moment.
"I was just…" Harry looked down at his plate. He was flustered, soooo adorable! "I was just asking."
He didn't say anything else and soon him and Ron got up from the table. Most of the people had gone by this time, including Seamus and Dean. I turned to Colin Creevey, who was eating his dinner.
"I could hug you." I told him. "Thank god you came in when you did! Ron could have un-done all my hard work so far!"
"I go where I'm needed." Colin grinned. "I did what you asked. No one was up there because everyone was down here eating…"
"Perfect!" Parvati and I exclaimed at the exact same time.
"I'm confused though." Colin scrubbed a hand through his brown, almost ginger-colored hair. "Can't Hermione just do that charm that reveals who the writer is?"
"Oh, please." Parvati rolled her eyes. "Like we didn't think of that. It just so happens that we are the masters of a little charm that makes it impossible to identify the writer, it even changes the handwriting. Not even Granger could get through it—which would be awfully unromantic of her."
"Unlike Viktor Krum—nice mention of the fourth year fiasco." I congratulated her.
"I know, I'm an artist." Parvati sighed and stretched her hands above her head lazily.
"I've got a little thing that might interest you." Colin reached inside his robes and pulled out a few photographs. "Some photos of Ginny Weasley going into a broom closet…I don't know who she was meeting in there because Neville Longbottom showed up and wanted to know what I was doing. I had to pretend that it was a photography project I was working on…"
"Yeah, he's kind of gullible." I agreed. The photos were indeed of Ginny going into a closet, but they weren't terribly interesting besides that.
We'll solve that mystery later…
But now, it was time to talk to a certain Slytherin.
This would be much harder than talking to Harry, because Harry was in the same house I was. Not in an enemy house that's home to dumpy Pansy Parkinson.
Pansy Parkinson. Where do I begin? All the money in the world couldn't fix that mess. She thinks she knows more about what's going on in this school than anyone else—how delusional. I think the fact that she's been chasing Draco all these years and never noticed the Potter obsession speaks for itself. Yeah, she knows how to be dumpier than anyone else, that's for sure.
So when I stopped to try and talk to Draco, I found myself face-to-face with her ugly upturned piggy nose and her squinty, dull brown eyes.
(Some might say it's mean but I'm trying to give an objective description of someone. If that someone happens to look like a jack-o-lantern that was left out until Christmas, then that's their problem.)
"What do you want?" She questioned me, glaring. Although it's hard to tell—once again, squinty eyes.
"I have a message for Malfoy." I drew myself up, looking important. Parvati was still at the table but keeping her eyes on me. If I made the slightest motion, she'd be there to help me. (We wouldn't fight! We aren't boys. We don't have to compare wands. We would tag-team dissect her clothes—including those awful brown shoes. Like her feet don't look big enough on their own.)
"Step aside, Pansy." Draco motioned for her to move and Pansy set her mouth in a line before stepping to the side. "What is it, Brown? Do you need a cure for those unsightly blemishes?"
"I haven't got unsightly blemishes." I gave him a dirty look and maturely ignored Pansy laughing—if you can call that ear-splitting shrieking noise laughter. "Maybe I won't tell you what Potter said."
This had the desired effect. Draco held up a hand and Pansy desisted at once. I gave her a smug look and tossed my hair over my shoulder.
"What did he say?" Draco pretended to be bored.
"I'm not supposed to say it where just anyone could hear it." I looked pointedly at Pansy.
"If you can't say it in front of me—" Pansy began, expecting Slytherin loyalty to kick in.
"Then she'll go away." Pansy should have remembered that loyalty is a Hufflepuff thing. It must be so hard to be so dim-witted. She shot me once last mean look before stalking off towards the Slytherin common room.
"Spit it out." Draco didn't look in the least bit patient.
"No need to be rude. It's almost Valentine's Day." I smoothed my skirt. "That's probably why he wanted to finally tell you. I don't know why he asked me, probably because we're in the same house, and Pansy Parkinson never would have delivered the message."
"What message? What are you talking about?" Draco looked like he might start shaking me (or cursing me) if I didn't start talking soon.
"Harry says that he has a crush on you." I rolled my eyes, as though it didn't matter one bit to me. "Honestly though, we're seventeen, you would think he could do it himself but noooo. I guess with Hermione and Ron always being right there, it is kinda hard."
Draco was just standing there. He wasn't smirking. He wasn't doing anything. He was just looking at me. I raised my eyebrows, hoping for a response.
"He…what?" Draco finally managed. Honestly! How can this be a surprise?! How dense are these two?!
"He has a crush on you." I reiterated, speaking slowly. "Well, I have to go—toodles!"
I saw his face, which was suddenly looking like he was thinking really hard. His brow was crinkled and he walked away, frowning. I don't know if that was a good reaction or not. At least, until he suddenly groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"What does that mean?" He asked himself out loud.
Sweet dreams, Malfoy. If you can sleep with all the wondering you're going to be doing.
Don't worry too hard though; I hear it can cause those unsightly blemishes you seem to know so much about.
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There's a question that you may be asking right now. And I know what it is. What did Colin do for us while everyone was eating dinner?
He slipped into the seventh year boys' room in Gryffindor tower and planted a sheet of parchment.
What purpose could that serve?
Allow me to take us back to the dinner conversation.
"That's nice parchment." Harry offered before taking a bite of his steak.
And he was right. It was nice. And expensive. (We figured we'd be reimbursed by the Ron/Hermione betting pool. (Currently, everyone thought the smart money was betting against us!)) And very distinctive.
This was what Parvati and I thought would happen:
Harry 'No-Good-With-Hair' Potter would find the parchment, where it was placed, looking like it had fallen out of a bag or something, between Ron and his beds. He would put two and two together and think that Ron was the secret admirer. He could help steer Hermione in that direction.
But that isn't what happened.
According to Colin, Harry must have found the paper but, he had the wrong idea. (We should have known! Left to their own devices they don't get anything right!) As Colin was passing through the hallways (Look, it isn't eavesdropping if the door is open, then it's just that you walked by and happened to witness something. And hey, if that thing you witnessed happens to be a whole conversation, so be it.)
You see, Neville came back into the room all of a sudden and saw the parchment and…well, he thought it was his. That has to be the worst coincidence in the world. So now, Harry Potter thought that Neville was the secret admirer. Colin wasn't so sure that the situation could be fixed.
But it could. If Harry was distracted, then he wouldn't be much help in the secret admirer area. Plus, he probably already didn't want to get involved as it was. So, this is all fine, right?
Wrong.
It gets much worse.
See, Harry puts down the piece of parchment quite absent-mindedly on his own bed. (Colin was pretending to tie his shoe.) Then he wanders off. Neville apparently wasn't too concerned with his parchment because he seemed to have forgotten all about it. (Colin says he was reading another piece of parchment…not sure what it said but Neville was smiling—must remember to investigate that.)
How can this be a bad thing? How can one little piece of parchment go so wrong?
Because Ron had forgotten his book for Care of Magical Creatures. (Colin was organizing papers he'd dropped.) So here comes Ron 'Big Nosed' Weasley, into the room, looking for his book and what does he spot?
Yep, the parchment on Harry's bed. That he recognizes from the night before.
Woe is me and Parvati.
To say the least, our Care of Magical Creatures class was interesting. Parvati and I were hanging near the back so we could whisper (and because it's much safer in the back) and watch the goings on. (Colin had filled us in right before class.)
Unfortunately, we already arranged an owl to come by and deliver a letter; otherwise we wouldn't have because that was just the spark that lit the fuse.
Right before the owl swooped down, Ron was sending Harry highly suspicious looks, which the green-eyed boy wasn't noticing because he was too busy sending Draco guarded looks—who in turn was glaring suspiciously back. Hermione looked really confused but seemed to be trying to listen to what Hagrid was saying. (All this tension in the air and she's able to ignore it so she can learn? Sometimes Hermione can be really boring…)
The owl flew by, dropping an envelope in front of Hermione. She looked startled and apologetic but Hagrid just waved a hand. (Blatant favoritism—he told off Parvati and I last week for the same thing—granted it was a faked note to get us out of class but still…)
She opened the note and went all pink.
Ron saw the look on her face and the parchment, which in turn caused him to send Harry an extremely dirty look. Argh! I can't believe Ron actually thinks its Harry. Why? Because of all the buckets of love and attention he was showering on her before? I don't think so…
"What does it say?" Harry nudged her.
"'Only your smile helps me through the day.'" Hermione read the card, trying to look dignified.
"That's just as mushy as the last one." Ron snatched it out of her hand.
"Hey!" Hermione frowned at him. "That's mine."
"Why do you even want it?" Ron questioned her suspiciously. "You don't even know who it is! It could be anyone! Some stupid guy…"
"I don't know, he could be a nice guy…" Harry spoke thoughtfully while obviously considering Neville. I hit my forehead with my hand.
"Well, he's a lousy friend!" Ron threw the note down fiercely and Harry looked taken aback. (They were messing it all up!)
"What…?" Hermione's eyebrows were knit together in concern.
"Oh, he knows what." Ron glared in accusation at his best friend. (Or soon to be ex-best friend…)
"So, suddenly it's not the Slytherins playing a prank? Now it could actually be a guy who's interested in me?" Hermione had picked up the note and looked ready to do battle with Ron.
But…well, someone interrupted them. It didn't make it a prettier scene.
"What prank?" Draco suddenly asked—looking a little surprised that he had asked the question outloud. The three turned to him and Harry's mouth snapped shut immediately.
"Hermione's secret admirer." Ron spat the last two words.
"That's a stupid idea for a prank." Draco rolled his eyes. "Fake secret admirers are so passé…" (Oh, but spending all night organizing mass sing-a-longs is so incredibly in!)
"That is a stupid idea for a prank." Harry suddenly stepped forward. Everyone looked a little surprised that they had agreed with one another and Hagrid had stopped teaching the class because, hello, something more interesting and less likely to devour us all was taking place.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco challenged his arch-nemesis. (And soon to be boyfriend if I have anything to say about it!)
"I think you know what it means." Harry said pointedly. If Parvati and I could have started crying into each other's arms without attracting attention, we would have.
"Oh, do I?" Draco smoothed his hair with one hand, in just such a way that he looked both bored and like he wasn't about to back down. "Well, just so you know, Potter, I'm onto you."
"I could say the same to you!" Harry came back with.
"What's going on?" Hermione ventured bravely.
"I'm…confused." Ron spoke slowly. He looked as though he had temporarily forgotten about Hermione's secret admirer. Thank goodness for the small miracles.
"'Same to me?' That makes no sense, Potter." Draco informed him.
"It makes about as much sense as you having a crush on me!" Harry shot back and Parvati and I openly flinched. The odds that we would suddenly get dragged into this and be revealed for the devious (beautiful, intelligent) matchmakers we are were rising every minute.
"What?" An entire class—including the teacher chorused. (We joined in. No need to stick out right now.)
"That's funny." Draco laughed in a superior fashion—although there was something on edge about it. "I'm pretty sure it's you with the crush on me."
"They're going to figure us out!" Parvati hissed in my ear.
"Shhhh, just stay calm." I said in a steadying voice. "They aren't clever enough to put it all together, just relax."
"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Hermione interrupted the two boys, who looked as though they were trying to stare each other down. "Ron's looking faint…"
Ron did look a little nauseous. If all else failed, we'd have an easy out volunteering to take Weasley up to see Madam Pomfrey. Some people aren't cut out for dealing with romance.
"Why would I have a crush on you?" Harry pointed at Draco accusingly.
"Are you kidding?" Draco looked haughty. "I'm good-looking, rich, and talented. You're just a famous orphan with a bad haircut!"
No! Don't start arguing like this! Realize that you've always loved each other! Do it now!
"Oooooh, you guys would be so cute together!" Parvati suddenly squealed next to me. I turned to look at her incredulously (as did almost everyone else) but I caught her eye and she gave me an almost invisible wink. That was my cue.
"You would!" I agreed with her, clasping my hands together. "You two argue all the time but it's so obvious that it's just because you like each other!"
"They do argue a lot…" Blaise Zabini (who is incredibly good-looking…although, once more, we're pretty sure he's gay.) suddenly rubbed his chin.
"Ron, are you okay?" Ron was gaping like a fish at the scene taking place and Hermione was trying to feel his forehead.
"What the hell?" He finally managed. "How long has this been going on?" Ron strode forward so that he was suddenly in between Harry and Draco.
"Oh, ages." Blaise volunteered. Parvati and I very discretely high-fived. We just needed to get someone else to notice it and then before you knew it, everyone would be talking about it. "Ever since first year…"
"Ages?" Ron blinked.
"No!" Harry denied quickly. "No, it's not like that. See—"
"He started it—!" (That was Captain Maturity a.k.a. Draco Malfoy, by the way.)
"Did not, it was all you—!" (And that's Harry.)
"I was in that robe shop first!"
"That's not what I was talking about!"
"We're talking about your first pangs of love for me—so I'm pretty sure that robe shop's the place to start." Draco snapped at Harry.
"I did not have pangs of love for you in that robe shop!" Harry's voice was raising. "Those robes were huge—probably to fit your fat head!"
"I do not have a fat head you…you…" Draco was infuriated. "It's not like I fell in love with you in that stupid store! You were short…and poor."
"You were the one all over me about who your family was and how great you were at Quidditch and wanting to know what house I wanted to be in!" Harry threw his hands in the air. Ron had stopped trying to get an explanation and Hermione's eyes were the size of saucers and kept going back and forth like she was watching a tennis match.
"I felt sorry for you." Draco stuck his nose in the air.
"You felt so sorry for me that on the train here you told me to ditch Ron and be bestest friends with you?" Harry shot back.
"Oh, is that it?" Draco looked triumphant. "I knew you'd regret saying no! You thought you were so noble, sticking up for Weasley but now you realize the truth! I'm the superior friend! You could have had it all, Potter—popularity, good grades in Potions, and my company but no, you gave it all up for Freckles, here." He gestured towards Ron.
"I didn't know he offered to be friends with him." Dumpy—I mean, Pansy stage-whispered to Blaise. Oh, imagine that, Pansy 'Piggy-Wiggy-Nose' Parkinson didn't know something! Parvati and I looked smug in our small victory.
"I don't regret it!" Harry snapped at the blonde-haired boy. "And if you think that I'm going to go out with you just because of some dumb crush you have on me just because it's Valentine's Day, you're wrong!"
"I'm not wrong!" Draco looked furious. "You're wrong! I'm not going to go out with you!"
"No, you're wrong!" Harry insisted.
"No, you are!" Draco had pushed past Ron and now the two boys were eye to eye, only a foot apart. Harry went forward, I think he was either going to shove him or hit him…it doesn't matter. What matters is what I did because I'm a genius.
I tripped Potter.
This was hard to orchestrate and still make it look like an accident, but I did it. Harry fell over, taking his rival down with him. So there they were, sprawled out on the grass, Draco on his back and Harry lying on top of him. They had completely frozen. They were staring at each other and not saying a word.
Ron fainted.
Had he waited like two seconds, I'm pretty sure the two boys on the ground would have kissed, but Ron has no sense of timing. When he fainted, it ruined the whole moment and Harry turned to see what was wrong with his friend. (Though he didn't get up off of Draco—that's something interesting to note.)
"Get off of me." Draco's voice was faintly annoyed.
I heard a funny clicking noise coming from the bushes.
With the right potion, Creevey would be selling photos of the event in an hour's time.
--------------------
With that little fiasco behind us, Parvati and I decided the best thing to do was to lay low for the day. (Except for Hermione's cards, they were terribly important!) Harry and Draco were both seen storming around the castle, having to endure taunts about their fight in Care of Magical Creatures.
(It didn't help that Creevey had t-shirts made. But isn't that so clever of him? He's so adorably devious! With people taunting them, they were likely to get into another passionate argument—one could only hope it ended with the two in a position similar to the one they were in at the end of their last argument.)
Ron had recovered from his fainting spell and just seemed confused by the whole thing. Harry could be heard muttering about how he didn't like Malfoy, that it was all the Slytherin's boy fault, but luckily, we kept Ron's attention somewhat off of Harry and onto Hermione.
At the beginning of History of Magic, there was a card waiting at her usual seat.
"'Now you'll know my feelings.'" Hermione read outloud quietly to Ron and Harry.
Ron had absolutely nothing nice to say about it which just meant that our whole scheme was working perfectly. Ron and Harry weren't around (neither were we, but we got reports about it from insiders (or, people who take that class)) for the note that Hermione got during Arithmancy.
When I see you, I wonder if you feel the same.
We were incredibly busy devising a perfect plan to get Harry and Draco together (now that they had their fight, we had to do some overhaul). We got told off in two classes for talking. (You know, McGonagall, there's a world outside of Transfiguration. Just because you're an old maid, doesn't mean the rest of us are doomed. (What? She's an old maid—unless you believe those rumors about Dumbledore…))
The main part of our plan would take place that night. Colin Creevey had to do some extra good sneaking around—I'm telling you, there's no place one can hide from Creevey—not even other houses' common rooms!
We would have loved to put the last note of the day on Hermione's pillow (So romantic!) but that would have been highly suspicious considering that only girls could get up the stairs.
So Colin had to deliver it to her during dinner, also claiming that he couldn't tell. (Even when Harry pressed him—which confused Ron, who, for some odd reason still thought that Harry was the secret admirer. Wasn't that big scene between Harry and Draco obvious enough? Some people are so thick…) Hermione read that one too. ("'Every moment is wasted when you're not around.'")
It wasn't until midnight that the plan actually kicked off, but preparations had to be done well in advanced. At eleven, Parvati and I (and several butterbeers and a thing of cakes from the kitchens) snuck up to the Astronomy Tower. There's this perfect little niche where you can see everything that's going on in the room but are incredibly hard to see yourself. Since it was dark, I figured there'd be even less chance of that.
You see, when Harry Potter went to bed that night, he found a note on his pillow. The note read as follows:
About what happened today—I think we need to discuss it. Will you meet me in the Astronomy Tower at midnight tonight?
-Draco Malfoy
You don't need to tell us that we're geniuses, we already know. As you might be able to guess, Draco found a similar note on his own pillow (Good job Colin!). Colin wanted to join us in the tower but we said he'd have to leave his camera behind because we really, really didn't want to get caught. Colin said he couldn't bear to witness something he couldn't get photographic evidence of and so stayed in bed. (Though he expected us to tell him everything in the morning—like we wouldn't! We don't have anyone else to tell and Parvati and I were nearly bursting with stuff to say as it was!)
By midnight, we were giggling over the newest issue of Witch Weekly (which we always read together) when we heard the door open. Instantly, we stopped giggling and put the magazine down. (Parvati had her wand lit but uttered 'nox!' at the exact second that the door began to creak, so thankfully no harm done.)
"Hello?" A voice called out. Harry's. Parvati and I were watching him enter the room. He was wearing his pajamas and a bathrobe. (Couldn't he spiff up a little for his secret midnight rendezvous? Boys.)
He walked further into the room and went over to one of the windows. The stars were all out that night and we couldn't have wished for a better setting for this romantic meeting of the minds. Fate was still smiling down on us and our good deeds.
The door opened a second time and Harry ducked into the shadows, so that he was much harder to see. It was Draco. His hair practically gleamed in the darkness. Harry stepped back out of the shadows when he saw who it was. (Who was he expecting? Although, the Astronomy Tower is really popular…come V-day and it would be hard to find an empty dark corner to snog in.)
"Malfoy?" Harry spoke questioningly even though it was screamingly obvious to all those in the room.
"Potter?" Draco used a similar tone. There was a moment of silence as Draco walked over to the window that Potter was standing at.
"I thought…er," Harry looked embarrassed. "That you weren't actually going to come. Kind of like…our first year. You know, the duel?"
What duel? There wasn't a duel during our first year…was there? Parvati and I swapped a look but I could tell she had no answers for me in this department. And there's no way Creevey'd know anything about it—he wasn't even at school then.
"Ah, yes." Draco looked smug. "When I challenged you to a midnight duel and then turned around and tipped off Filch?"
"That'd be the one." Harry didn't sound too amused.
"You really should have seen that coming." Draco smirked. There was a moment of completely awkward silence.
Come on, say something! We took all this time to arrange this…
Okay, so it took us ten minutes to decide to do this but still! It's the thought that counts, right?
"About today…" Harry began bravely but just trailed off.
"Yes, that was a bit embarrassing." Draco commented euphemistically. "The Slytherins didn't let me hear the end of it. During our…disagreement, some facts about our first meeting didn't come out quite right."
"Which part?" Harry looked a little confused.
"Those who were listening might have misconstrued my offer of friendship." Draco went on.
"How?" Harry quirked an eyebrow. The suspense was killing Parvati and me. If we could have thrown cakes at them and told them to get on with it, we would have. "That's what happened. You said, 'I can help you there.' And then I told you I could figure out the wrong sort for myself, thanks."
"Yes, and that was very adorably independent of you." Draco looked annoyed. "But you've got to face the facts, Potter—without me, you're school life would be a dull existence of spending time with Granger and Weasley. You should just accept the truth; you did want to be friends with me."
"No, I didn't." Harry corrected him. "You were being an obnoxious git. Next time you want to make friends, try a little less sneering at other people in the train compartment."
"I was provoked." Draco drew himself up in a defensive manner.
"How?" Harry was beginning to look amused.
"Weasley laughed at my name." Draco pointed out.
This just gets juicier and juicier, doesn't it? So, Harry rejected Draco's friendship because Draco made fun of Ron? No wonder Malfoy and Weasley don't get along! Draco's probably insanely jealous of the fact that Ron and Harry are best friends…oh, this is better than television!
"Draco Malfoy's a funny name." Harry shrugged his shoulders. "You still could have been a little less mean about his family."
"Enough about the stupid train ride." Draco huffed. "There was also that thing at Madam Malkin's."
We were really eager to hear more about this. Surely, fate had meant for these two to meet and fall in love, even when they were just eleven. That's just too adorable to think about!
"I wasn't going out of my way to impress you or anything." Draco continued on. "I was just trying to make conversation."
"It might have worked better if you hadn't made fun of Hagrid." Harry crossed his arms.
"I didn't know you were with him!" Draco stomped his foot and Parvati and I had to smother our giggles with our hands.
"Every time you tried to make friends with me, you ended up making an ass out of yourself." Harry pointed out. "I bet all these years, every time you do something stupid, it's really because of that, isn't it?"
"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" Draco's mouth twisted into a little frown. Talk about the pot and the kettle! "Like I'd go that far out of my way to be friends with someone."
"Then why are you always going out of your way?" Harry questioned him. He paused for a moment. "Or…is that…?"
"Is it what?" Draco's voice was short.
"You…er, liking me?" Harry finished, looking at the ground.
"What about you?" Draco suddenly turned on the dark-haired boy. "Isn't all this about how you like me?" Harry's eyes widened and he didn't say anything for a moment.
"Hey…I asked first!" He put in lamely. Parvati and I had to sigh internally but we shared a pained look.
"You're the one who tackled me to the ground today." Draco poked Harry in the chest with his index finger. "So, either say something or I'm going to bed."
"You say something or I'm going to bed." Harry countered triumphantly. They were definitely a match for each other. A match made in Immature and Petty Heaven. The urge to throw things at them and shout a bit gripped me like never before, but I held strong.
"That's it, I'm going to bed." Draco rolled his eyes and started to walk away.
And that's when the seemingly impossible took place. Harry reached out a hand to stop him, tugging on Draco's sleeve which caused the blonde-haired boy to turn. I don't know if it was the stars twinkling down at them through the window, or the fact that a secret rendezvous in the Astronomy Tower at midnight could only really end one way…but it still happened. Their eyes met and it was like something you only read about in the kind of novels that Parvati and I have stashes of under our beds.
They kissed.
------------------------
Mission accomplished. I mean, what more could we possibly have to do with those two? They kissed, right? So everything's fine and dandy, let's all date and share toast at breakfast and walk to class together, right?
Not where those two are concerned. We should have known they wouldn't be able to just surrender to the romance and be swept away by passion. They have to make things difficult; they have to do things the hard way…
After the brief, very cute (Parvati and I had to hold in squeals of delight—which is extremely hard to do—Colin would have died if he could have gotten a picture.) kiss, the two parted and said good-night to each other and went off to bed. Parvati and I began giggling like crazy as soon as we were sure it was safe.
We gathered up our stuff and were toasting each other with butterbeer all the way back up to the Gryffindor common room.
"And to my dear friend Parvati, who I never could have accomplished any of this without." I waved the bottle above my head.
"Shhh, we're so going to get caught by Filch." Parvati shushed me in a rather loud voice. "But yes, to me!"
When we got into the common room, an irate Creevey was waiting for us. He'd been hiding so that Harry wouldn't see him when he came back into the common room. (Although according to Colin, Harry probably wouldn't have noticed him if he'd been standing on a table and doing a dance with a big pink feathered boa.)
We had to tell him every last little detail (sometimes I worry about Colin's somewhat obsessive cataloging of all things Potter related…) and Colin looked positively envious over the fact that we had witnessed the kiss and he hadn't.
We went to bed and then woke up the next morning, giggling and falling all over ourselves to get to breakfast, where Hermione would receive another love owl. ("Always is how long I've loved you.")
While Ron fumed about this, Hermione was examining her other notes and frowning. I think she was trying to figure out who they were from. Of course, it was only going to make sense when they were altogether but Hermione's a really smart girl and I wondered if she'd figure it out sooner. It didn't really matter since it wasn't that big of a deal if she figured it out…but for the sake of romance I think she needed to put her brain on hold.
Harry was a different story. He seemed about a thousand miles away and was currently dumping ketchup on his toast.
"Hey, Harry, when did you start eating your toast like that?" Ginny Weasley, who was beaming like a woman in love (Who was she dating? I saw Blaise Zabini looking over at her…did that mean anything?), asked Harry who turned to her in a daze as ketchup oozed out of the bottle and overflowed off his plate and onto the table.
"What?" Harry asked her.
"You've drowned your toast." Ginny pointed out. Harry looked over at his hand as though it were a foreign object and slowly stopped pouring ketchup.
"Hmm." He stared at the mess he made.
"You look weird." Ron told him. "Are you going to eat your breakfast?"
"No." Harry gave the plate a lackluster shove towards Ron. Ron quickly fished out the ketchup covered toast and began putting sausages on it. Everyone flinched when he began eating his horrible creation.
Ew. I feel so bad for setting up him and Hermione now.
"Is something wrong?" Hermione was putting away her collection of love notes.
"No." Harry looked slightly uncomfortable. "Nothing's wrong."
Is something spectacularly right?
"Hey, look, there's Draco Malfoy!" Parvati couldn't help pointing out. Draco looked worse than Harry. Whereas Harry always looked like he got dressed with his eyes closed and clearly had never heard of a) a mirror, or b) a comb, Draco Malfoy usually came out looking like he'd used starch on himself.
This morning though, a piece of hair was in his face and he wasn't bothering to push it out of his eyes. His tie was crooked, his collar twisted, and his robes looked like he slept in them.
There was a murmur from the other Slytherins and Pansy tried to touch his collar, which only caused Draco to jump about a foot and try to hit her away. She looked so miserable. Parvati and I shared victorious looks.
Harry looked up and Draco looked over at him. The two stared at each other and then, instead of acting like two adults and admitting that they loved each other forever and ever, they did what they had so much practice at before.
"What are you looking at, Scar Head?" Draco asked in an accusatory tone.
"Just a spoiled brat." Harry shot back. They proceeded to glare at each other before Draco went to sit at the Slytherin table.
No. No. NO!
What is wrong with you two? Seriously, do Parvati and I have to do everything? How much do two poor Gryffindor girls have to take? They kissed! In the Astronomy Tower! Didn't that mean anything? Was nothing sacred anymore?
How could we possibly get those two together? Was it too hard, even for the greatest matchmakers who'd ever lived? There had to be something…something…something.
"I heard you made out with Draco Malfoy in the Astronomy Tower."
Now, I'm not going to say that I panicked. This was clearly a good move. Sure, Parvati looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head, Hermione was staring at me like I just told her she failed her N.E.W.T.'s, and Harry looked like he might faint, but look on the bright side, at least I was making Harry face his feelings.
"You made out with Malfoy in the Astronomy Tower?" Ron immediately accused Hermione.
"Um, what?" Hermione looked confused. "No, I didn't."
"I meant Harry." I explained. "I heard Harry made out with Draco Malfoy in the Astronomy Tower."
"Why did you just immediately assume she meant me?" Hermione asked Ron.
"Well, you're the one who's getting love notes all the time." Ron countered, which probably would have looked more dignified if he'd wiped the ketchup off his face.
"Two days. I've been getting notes for two days." Hermione buried her face in her hands. "I don't see why you're so jumped up about it."
"I…" Ron went red in the face. "That's none of your business and if you can't figure it out then I'm not going to explain it to you!" And with that, Ron huffed out of the Great Hall, clearly having forgotten the actual topic of conversation.
"How?" Harry looked horrified. "How did you hear that?"
"Potter, please, I do not reveal my sources." Parvati was nudging me like she thought I knew Morse code.
"Wait," Hermione looked at Harry suspiciously. "Don't you mean, 'What are you talking about? I would never make out with Draco Malfoy in the Astronomy Tower!'?"
"We didn't make out!" Harry exclaimed, clearly having lost his head. "It was one kiss, that doesn't mean making out!"
My work here was done.
Harry looked both horrified and embarrassed and Parvati and I disappeared like we were last season's shoes.
"What did you do?" Parvati hissed as we ran out of the hall.
"The only thing I could think of." I confessed. "Look, we can't let them settle down into their little game of pretending to hate each other. They could waste years doing that! We have to get them together tomorrow."
"That might help Harry, but definitely not Draco." Parvati pulled on her braided pigtails in frustration. "How are we going to get him riled up?"
"Ginny Weasley was there and I think she's secretly dating Blaise Zabini." I theorized. "So, if she goes to Blaise and tells him what she just heard…"
"Not to mention you said it loudly enough…" Parvati looked thoughtful. "Creevey could get it around the school…"
"I heard someone say my name." Colin seemed to appear out of nowhere. His camera was at the ready. He noticed me glancing at it. "Hey, if they kiss again, I'm not missing it. I'll be able to sell the pictures to Witch Weekly and make a killing."
"That's just wrong Colin. You can't make money off of people's romance." I informed the younger boy with my hands on my hips.
"Says the girl who has a small fortune bet on Hermione and Ron getting together." Colin tapped my nose with his index finger before winking. "I was thinking about it last night and those two can't just get together. I've been watching Harry for years, I know how he thinks."
"Good, tell everyone you can think of that you heard from me that those two made out in the Astronomy Tower and be quick about it." I ordered. "If they don't hear the end of it, they can't bury it."
"I'll do one better." Colin grinned. "Yesterday should be a very interesting Valentine's Day…"
"What are you going to do?" I asked tentatively. Could we trust Colin Creevey to bring the same sensitivity and genius to this whole thing as we did? Part of me didn't think so.
"It's a surprise." Colin raised his camera to his face. "Smile."
Colin Creevey will probably always have a picture of me looking confused and Parvati trying to smooth her hair with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth because she was concentrating so hard.
----------------------------
Just when everything seemed like it might just fall apart on us because the plan wasn't going according to plan at all, we got a great idea. It took real cunning and a reliance on all the most predictable behavior.
Ron was already upset because Hermione found another note in her bag as the three were walking down the hallway together.
"'Seeing you makes my heart stop'." Hermione read out loud. "But I wonder when anyone had time to slip this in my bag…"
"Look at that! He's clearly a crazy stalker! What was he going through your bag for?" Ron questioned.
"Ron…sometimes, I really don't know what to say to you." Hermione shook her head.
They were easily distracted and so we left the two to argue. They'd stopped to have a small, very complicated argument, which was usually only reserved for couples and Harry kept walking, his head down.
Had he been looking where he was going, he might have noticed that there was an open trunk coming up on his left side. It was a fairly large trunk, which was funny, because Dennis Creevey was such a small kid, he could have fit like five of himself in it. What did that boy pack?
Getting back to the point, the Creevey brothers suddenly ran past Ron and Hermione, while holding Hermione's cat.
(By the way, Crookshanks is a demon cat. That cat nearly killed me when I tried to catch it for our coup. Besides all the times that I've been scratched by that evil thing. Hermione should thank me for finding something useful for that cat to do. We fed it a Sleeping Potion, which was the only reason that it hadn't sunk its claws into the Creevey boys.)
Hermione ran after them, Ron following right after.
Harry was all alone.
Parvati stunned him from behind.
Harry dropped to the floor, knocked unconscious. Harry looked really skinny, but guess what? He wasn't. It took forever to heave him into the trunk and the whole time we were hoping no one would suddenly come down the corridor before we finished. When we finally slammed the trunk shut, Parvati and I sat on it, resting for a few moments.
"I thought Seeker's were supposed to be light. He obviously weighs a thousand pounds." Parvati declared.
"What's the spell for bewitching something to be light again?" I tried to remember.
"Let's ask someone." Parvati suggested. Around the corner, as though on cue, was Professor McGonagall. She wanted to know what we were doing. We explained that we'd been reviewing for N.E.W.T.'s and we'd been using the trunk for different spells, and could McGonagall review how to make things feather light for us?
McGonagall thought we really were studying and so told us how, performing the spell flawlessly. We thanked her, grabbed the trunk on either side and ran out of there before she could question us further.
The second part of the plan was a little bit slippery. There they were, five Slytherins.
Draco Malfoy was in the middle, with his back against a tree. Pansy Parkinson was on his right, Blaise Zabini on his left. Theodore Nott was hanging back a bit and Millicent Bulstrode was tying her bootlaces.
We looked at them, we looked at the trunk. This might be harder than we expected. We put the trunk down, partially disguised behind some bushes and went over to the Slytherins.
"Professor McGonagall wants to see Zabini, Nott, Bulstrode, and Parkinson." Parvati told them in an important voice. Zabini rolled his eyes, Nott scowled, and Bulstrode straightened up before they all walked off, muttering and whispering about what they might be in trouble for.
Pansy Parkinson hadn't budged.
"Didn't you hear Parvati? Or can you not lift your feet in those huge clunky shoes?" I asked in a voice full of mock sweetness.
"You've been hanging around an awful lot." Pansy glared at me.
"And where do you even buy socks that awful?" Parvati went on.
"You two—!" began Pansy but Draco cut her off.
"Pansy, go to McGonagall's office." Draco waved her away. As we waved good-bye to her and her shoes (They were really horrible. Do Ron and her get their footwear at the same store?), I wondered what could make Draco Malfoy suddenly turn on his personal assistant. I didn't have to wait long for the answer. "Do you have a message for me?"
"A message?" Parvati tilted her head to one side and we looked at each other.
"From Potter." Draco elaborated. "Look, you show up and suddenly McGonagall wants to see all four of them for some unspoken reason. Granted, they could have all been in on something, but if they were, I'd be involved and chances are that if McGonagall suspected one of us, she'd suspect all of us. You want me alone. So either you both have decided to declare your love for me or you have a message from Potter."
"Yes, he wants to talk but he doesn't know where." I made up immediately. "But we thought that if he went into one of the supply closets on the first floor, it would be a good place for you two to meet in secret."
"He's waiting on the first door to your left." Parvati elaborated. Draco rushed past us and we quietly followed. He went into the closet, closing the door behind him, although not all the way.
I went inside.
A moment later there was a loud thump noise and Parvati ran to go get our still bewitched trunk. When she got back, we used the spell that McGonagall had demonstrated (see, we sometimes pay attention when she's talking) and got Draco Malfoy into our trunk.
The Creevey boys took over from there and we walked off, feeling pretty good about what we'd done that day. Yeah, we locked those two boys in a trunk, but you were about to see why that plan was nothing but sheer genius.
So, while Hermione late that afternoon wondered how "Longing for the time I can reveal everything." fit in with the rest of her notes, the two boys were trapped in a very small space.
Granted, we didn't know what the boys were going to do with it. Colin said he'd put it in a very good place. Assuming he meant somewhere quiet that no one was going to be quick to discover them, I hadn't questioned him very much.
When we got into the Great Hall for dinner, we found out what Colin Creevey thought was a good place to put a trunk that had two seventh year boys in it.
In the middle of the Great Hall.
Of course the teachers were gathering around the trunk with about half the student body doing everything to get a better view, including standing on tables.
The trunk started to admit a thudding noise and Parvati and I sank down very low. If Draco and Harry communicated, they might put together that Parvati and I were the ones who put them in the trunk in the first place. I wonder how they'd feel about that…?
They should really be thanking us.
They opened the trunk and Draco and Harry crawled out.
I would have given anything to know what happened in that trunk. From the way they were heavily disheveled, there had obviously been lots of moving around.
"And just what were you two doing?" Professor McGonagall questioned them.
"Oh! Professor!" Blaise Zabini was hopping up and down in what looked like a hilarious imitation of Hermione Granger, waving his hand about. "If you need someone to explain the birds and the bees to you, I can do it."
After McGonagall took ten points from Slytherin, she questioned Harry and Draco, who could only give vague stories about how they suddenly woke up together in the trunk.
"Hey, Weasley," Blaise sidled up to Ginny Weasley, who was standing in the front. "I wouldn't mind being locked in a trunk with you."
"Keep dreaming." Ginny rolled her eyes and walked off.
"Okay, I don't think Blaise is her secret boyfriend." I whispered to Parvati.
"Noted." Parvati nodded.
"And did either of you think to use your wands to open the trunk?" McGonagall asked them. "Both of you seem to have your wands…"
"I…well…it was dark…" Harry muttered sheepishly.
"So very dark." Draco agreed. They were very carefully not meeting anyone's eyes.
"Stop the inquisition!" Pansy declared, jumping down from a table and next to Draco. "He's been stuck in some foul, cramped space, with a Gryffindor. He could need medical attention!"
"Maybe if Draco had something…" Ginny sniggered.
"I'm perfectly healthy, thank you very much." Draco looked deeply offended by the mere suggestion.
"What's going on?" Ron had suddenly appeared in the crowd and was probably mostly just disturbed because valuable eating time had been interrupted. "Why is there a trunk?"
"I think the popular theory is that Draco and Harry were making out in the trunk." Ginny explained to her brother.
"Shut up. Don't say things like that." Ron warned her. "Harry was not making out with Malfoy in a trunk. That's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
"I heard Hermione's in love with a secret admirer whose name isn't Ron Weasley." Parvati voiced to distract Ron.
"She isn't in love with a secret admirer!" Ron protested.
"'Even though I'm so close, I want to be closer.'" Hermione read out loud as she made her way through the crowd so she was next to Ron. "What's going on?"
"That's what I'd like to know." Professor McGonagall tapped her foot impatiently.
"We're victims. We were thrown in a trunk. I fully intend to write a letter to the Ministry—to Magical Law Enforcement in particular." Draco told her before straightening his collar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my room now."
"Another note? How many does he plan to give to you?" Ron grabbed the note from Hermione, who snatched it right back.
"I've got to study." Hermione looked at the trunk and then at Harry who was watching Draco leave glumly. "I'm not sure I want to know."
"Wait, will you help me with my Potions homework?" Ron started after her.
All we needed was one last shove but our plans were almost complete. With very little time to go, we still hadn't gotten the two couples completely together, but it was only a matter of time.
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Although we were in the sad state of having no valentines of our own, Parvati and I had never woken up more excited on February 14th in our entire lives.
The best part of the morning was that we got a big surprise when we opened the portrait hole and were getting out of the Gryffindor common room. Standing by a window were Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. They were rather busy trying to stare the other down so we quickly hide behind a suit of armor.
"So…I guess we like each other now." Harry pointed out the obvious.
"I guess you're right." Draco nodded in agreement.
"What now?" Harry asked unsurely.
"I wouldn't be opposed to snogging." Draco shrugged. The two boys held hands as they made their way to breakfast.
Okay, so it wasn't the most romantic get together but we were willing to work with it. I mean, they were both boys. We could tell they were deeply and passionately in love. That's the most important thing.
Parvati and I were shaking hands on our way to breakfast. There was just one other couple we had to get together.
Our financial futures depended on it.
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Severus Snape did not approve of notes. He also didn't approve of bubblegum, fun, laughter, or apparently robes that were made later than the 1700s.
When Hermione received her last note, she quickly opened it and then Snape caught her with it. He made her stand up and read it to the class.
"'You can meet me today at 3 o'clock behind Greenhouse 3.'" Hermione recited easily. Snape looked heavily disappointed that she wasn't getting embarrassing notes. Instead, he said she had to stay after class, of course making her miss the most important meeting of her life.
Hermione looked a little downcast but she quickly moved her book bag so she could sort out the notes and try to figure them out.
"Snape's going to give you detention for a week." Harry whispered to her.
"I feel like there's a clue here though, to who's been sending them to me." Hermione was studying the notes with the same concentration she reserved for N.E.W.T.s. "I'm not going to meet them without knowing who it is…"
"How are you going to meet them? Snape's keeping you after class." Harry reminded her.
"I don't know yet." Hermione looked annoyed as she flicked some hair out of her face.
Parvati and I hadn't planned for a distraction so we were trying to think of something. We didn't want to get stuck in detention—otherwise we'd miss the whole thing.
Then Hermione gasped. "Why didn't I notice before?"
"Notice what?" Harry peered at the notes.
"The letters! I have to get out of staying after class!" Hermione looked panicked as she hissed this to her best friend.
Parvati and I hadn't planned anything and we couldn't let Snape ruin Valentine's Day and our shot at winning the entire pool. What were we going to do? What could we possibly do?
That's when the blackboard started its cartoon.
Two stick figures were walking around and holding hands, while hearts and little winged stick figures danced around them. Parvati and I looked at each other, wondering what on earth was going on. A David Bowie song, 'Golden Years', started to play as well. (Hey, just because we aren't Muggles, doesn't mean we don't have good taste in music.)
Snape was furiously trying to erase the romantic cartoon that kept on going, oblivious to his attempts to stop it.
"Who did this?" He demanded to know. "Who charmed this blackboard?"
As he attacked the blackboard, it was also the end of class. Hermione ducked down and rushed out the door while Snape tried to keep students from leaving while desperately trying to erase the black board. At the end, it said 'Happy Valentine's Day, Draco and Harry'.
Those two got serious detention, even though I think I know who actually did it. He did promise a surprise. Imagine having the courage to charm Severus Snape's blackboard. Colin Creevey probably would have been patted on the back by such godly pranksters as the Weasley twins.
We didn't have a lot of time for the rest of our plan.
We quickly found Ron, whom we staged a very loud conversation about how Hermione was meeting her secret admirer behind Greenhouse 3 within his hearing. Ron quickly ran off and we went to go hide in some bushes.
You see, Hermione figured out our clues. It was actually quite simple. Let me demonstrate!
Regularly I realize that I love you.
Only your smile helps me through the day.
Now you'll know my feelings.
When I see you, I wonder if you feel the same.
Every moment is wasted when you're not around.
Always is how long I've loved you.
Seeing you makes my heart stop.
Longing for the time I can reveal everything.
Even though I'm so close, I want to be closer.
You can meet me today at three o'clock behind Greenhouse 3.
Look really closely at the first letter of each note.
When we're good. We're good. Crouched in the bushes, we saw Hermione standing there, looking anxious. Ron quickly came around the corner and as soon as he did, Hermione dropped her book bag and threw her arms around him.
"I figured it out!" Hermione declared. "They spelled out your name! I didn't even think it could be you…you'd never write notes or…or anything…and you were really mad whenever I got one…"
"What?" Ron was bewildered, not only because he obviously had no idea what Hermione was talking about, but also because she was hugging him so exuberantly.
"I wasn't going to meet the secret admirer…but then I found out it was you. You're who I wanted it to be." Hermione pulled away, smiling.
"I was?" Ron looked shocked.
"Didn't you know?" Hermione took a step closer to him, so her face was only inches from his.
"You like me?" Ron was still in a daze.
"Yes, Ron." Hermione sighed. "I do like you. Not like you. I'm in love with you."
"Oh, that's good then." Ron grinned. "Would you…?"
"I'd be happy to." Hermione stood on her tiptoes and kissed Ron on the lips, who obviously wasn't expecting it but soon got very used to the idea. When they pulled apart, Ron looked extremely happy.
"I was just going to ask if you'd be my valentine." Ron commented. "But that was better."
Click, click, click.
Parvati and I turned to see that Colin Creevey was also sitting in the bushes now with us and was frantically taking pictures.
"You won." Colin turned towards us. "You two got Hermione and Ron together. And Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter."
"We did, didn't we?" Parvati and I posed for a victory picture that Colin snapped.
"Oh! I promised Padma I'd help her with her hair." Parvati remembered. "I'm late, she's going to be mad…"
"Hurry off." I shooed her away as the three of us crawled out of the bushes and started back towards the castle. Parvati, my fellow romantic mastermind, waved as she ran off. It was just me and Creevey now.
"That was a brilliant cartoon." I told him proudly. "We were panicking."
"It's impossible to remove. It'll come off by itself in a week." Colin grinned. "I really hope Snape doesn't figure out it was me."
"Currently he's punishing Harry and Malfoy." I informed him. Then I had a sudden sad feeling as I realized that Parvati and I had gotten two couples together but still didn't have valentines.
"What's wrong?" Colin noticed my mood change.
"Oh, well, we did all this because we didn't have valentines. Now that we aren't busy getting them together, the rest of Valentine's Day is going to be kind of dull." I nudged a rock in the path with the toe of my shoe.
"I wouldn't say that."
I turned towards Colin, who was holding a red rose out towards me. Did Colin fancy me? Did he fancy older girls? Did he think I'm cute as a button? Did he fancy English girls? Girls whose entire name was made up of colors?
Who cared? I had a valentine!
Oh! Wait until Parvati found out who it was! I bet none of us saw this coming, especially because Colin has such a weird preoccupation with Harry Potter, but that was okay.
"And as an extra valentine," Colin went on as I smelled the rose and we held hands. "I found out who Ginny Weasley is secretly dating."
"Who?" I couldn't contain my curiosity.
"Neville Longbottom."
"Really?" My jaw dropped.
"I got photos of them snogging in a closet." Colin waved his camera around with his free hand.
"How did you get those?" I inquired.
"Patience." Colin shrugged. "Want to go collect your money?"
"Are you kidding? Of course. Before anyone can try and say we cheated because we got them together." I picked up the pace.
It might interest you to know that Parvati and I did not spend all the money. We invested it in our dating agency because you can't stay in school forever and we didn't want boring jobs like being an Auror or a Curse Breaker.
So, if you're a witch or wizard in dire need when it comes to your love life, stop by for a spell! (Isn't that just too cute?)
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The end.
Thank god, that took forever. It was really fun though. In case you didn't catch it, Teresa's challenge was writing a story from Lavender Brown's POV. It was kind of fun to do a background character. Thanks for reading!