Big Boss was about to defeat Metal Gear, the anticipation was high. The stakes were at an all time crisis mode deluxe supreme defcon 999999. He pulled out his RPG to finish off the deed as his whole crew cheered him on...
"WAKE UP!" Big Boss was hit ferociously by Eva. Or Tianna or Tittyanna Tanya bitch. "JOHN! STOP BEING A LAZY FUCK AND GO GET A JOB!' Eva SCREEEECHED in Big Boss's ear. "Ugh." Big Boss slithered out of his couch chair and fell on the floor. He slowly took out a cigar and smoked it. His life had slowly went down the drain. "You piece of shit mother fucker get the fuck off your fat lazy ass! I have THREE JOBS AND THREE KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF THANKS TO YOUR INCOMPETENCE." Eva yelled, as Big Boss's psyche drained. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" Eva yelled, as the camera zoomed in under her skirt to reveal her panties, since Big Boss is still lying on floor. Eva kicked Big Boss, scoffed, and went to go back in the kitchen, where all good wifeys belong. Big Boss let out another "ugh" as his three GREEAT kids came walking through the door. "Daddeh, will you play ball with me?" Liquid Snake asked in a britly accent. "No." Said Big Boss. Liquid pouted and walked off to the side. "Hey dad, do you want to go make cool robots with me?" Asked Solidus Snake. "No." Said Big Boss. Solidus Snake also pouted and walked off in the same direction as Liquid. "Uh..Boss? Do you maybe want to...go to the supermarket with me? Maybe you'll get a job." Solid Snake asked. "Ok." Said Big Boss. "IT'S NOT FAIR! DAD ALWAYS DOES STUFF WITH YOU BUT NOT ME! YOU'RE HIS FAVORITE!" Liquid angered, then smashed through a wall. Solidus didn't really care because he was too busy making a robot with a peace sign on it. Big Boss sighed and motioned for Solid Snake to follow him outside to walk to the supermarket. He wasn't allowed to drive Eva's motorcycle because she "only gets off it when she falls in love or dies" or some shit. He knew it was because of the insurance rates rising due to her shitty woman driving skills.