A/N : The following is an attempt at a new style of writing for me. This story is likely just a one-shot. Please leave your comments and let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of it's characters.
In war there are no winners, only pain. The lucky ones die fast.
- Fatal
White.
All I see is white. A terrible overwhelming flash of light burns into my skull and forces me to the ground. I groan in discomfort and force my eyes closed in futility. My ears ring and I can't breath.
It hurts.
Oh how it hurts. I want to scream but it hurts too much to open my mouth.
White.
Why is it so white? I can't see my hands; all I see is white. All I feel is pain. All I hear is this horrific, never ending ringing.
It hurts!
My god how it hurts beyond anything I have felt before! In my eyes. In my head. In every part of my body. All I feel is pain – when felt the soft endless sea of earth just moments before.
Oh Earth! The same earth on which I was born. The same earth on which I grew. The same earth that protects me against this horrible pain. Oh father earth! On whom we have been born! How sorry I am, for causing you pain! How sorry I am for destroying your face! How sorry I am for robbing you of your blood! Please father! Forgive me! Protect me! Make me a bird and let me fly away from this madness, this sin.
The birds are singing.
I no longer hurt. I no longer see white. I no longer hear a thing. I just see the sky above me, and the birds flying, singing to one another without a care in the world. The beautiful clouds make magnificent shapes and the sun shines on my face. But all I see are the birds.
The birds are singing.
I feel myself begin to float upwards. Towards the deep blue. Towards oblivion. Father! You have heard my cry! Thank you! Please take me to the birds! Please let me be free!
The birds are singing.
I am with them. If I just reach out, I know I could touch them. I can't. My arms don't move. Neither do my legs, or my head, or any other body part. All I can do is watch the sky above me, and hear the birds sing.
The Birds Are Singing.
I wake up with a start. I scan my surroundings only to find my world pitch black. Where am I?
"Help…"
I whisper but there is no answer. How could there be? There is no life here, in this world of black. This shaking world of black.
Shaking?
Where am I!
"Help! Please…someone! Help me! Where am I?"
Still no reply, but I continue. My voice seems to comfort me. The panic in it calms me. A wonderful thing voice is.
"Shut up!" That single word had so much power, so much venom in it but how good it was to hear.
"God, you woke me up. Ugh damn…" Why is he so angry? In this endless void of darkness the best thing is sound! I yell at the top of my lungs, ignoring the pain in my chest. Sound is a wonderful thing
The Birds Are Singing.
"It's amazing how he managed to survive that blast. How he has so few injuries is beyond me."
I woke into darkness. Are my eyes open? I don't know. Am I still alive? Yes, the pain was a sure sign of that. Where am I? It smells so… clean. Too clean, like a new shoe that has yet to be broken into. I hear a soft beeping beside me. All of that and the distant voices every now and then give me a clue as to my whereabouts.
"Hey, how do you feel?"
I hear her voice. It is friendly and inviting but still cold and distant. All I can do is hear. I can only see darkness. Where is she? I want to see her! I want to see this woman with such a wonderful and kind voice! I hear her turning pages. I hear waves. Waves from an endless ocean full of life and beauty. Full of fish that comfort each other and swim in groups of thousands while birds fly overhead and sing their breathtaking songs over and over. Songs that thank their father Earth for his blood. His life.
The Birds Are Singing.
A phone rings in the distance. I am alone in this black abyss of never ending darkness. Footsteps pass my location and all I do is lay in my coffin. I feel tired.
I feel dead.
A door creaks open the soft padding of shoes on granite resonate throughout the room. They are too soft to be a man's steps. They stop next to me.
"Shinji… can you hear me?"
Who is this 'Shinji'? Who is she talking to. This voice full of fear and sadness. Is she talking to me? No… she can't be… I'm not Shinji.
Or am I?
Who am I?
"Shinji?" I feel her hand on my arm. Such warm, gentle hands. Like a mothers caress. My mother… I don't remember her. My father? No idea. I don't remember anything. Just the blinding white light, and the birds singing their soothing lullaby. She moves her hand. I hear her turning around. She is leaving!
No! Don't leave! Not here! Don't leave me to die alone! Come back! Come Back! COME BACK!
"COME BACK!"
The soft padding slows, then speeds up until it is next to me again.
"Shinji! Are you okay?" Yes… I'm Shinji. I will be whatever you want as long as you stay here next to me.
"Yes… just… please don't leave. Stay here with me!" I can't contain myself. I feel warmth on my cheek and know that I am crying. I don't care.
"Of course. I'm here, don't worry. It's okay." I feel so calm now. The darkness is nothing when there is someone next to you. Someone you can trust.
I feel tired. My head is heavy. My world suddenly become bright and full of colors. Blue, white, and yellow - the colors of the sky. I am floating in the air, with the breeze blowing by my face. In the distance I hear a wonderful tune rivaling the beauty of Mozart. Birds fly past me and give me gifts of sound.
The Birds Are Singing.
A/N: Thanks for reading and please leave a review. Flames are fine but constructive criticism is encouraged.
-Fatal