It was one of the week end nights that Greg had come to Nick's place to watch the game and right now they were slumped down on the couch, feet upon the small table that was littered with empty beer cans and cheese and onion chips packages. They cheered one last time and gave the television the thumbs-up. The Colts had won and they were in a good mood when Nick reached for the remote and switched off ESPN.
'Huhuh,' he sighed and fell back in his comfortable couch, 'great game.'
'Yeah,' Greg agreed, 'it really was.'
'So,' Nick said and he placed another empty beer can next to the others, 'you're leaving or you wanna hang out a bit longer?'
'I'll hang.' came Greg's answer, his had tilted back and his arms stretched out above his head.
His shirt got lifted a bit and underneath the brim a few inches of bare skin became visible. Nick's eyes were immediately drawn to it and his cheery mood vanished almost instantly when he saw the edge of the burn mark on Greg's back.
He pointed at it and asked, 'How's your back?'
It took Greg a few seconds to understand what Nick was talking about, then he quickly pulled down his shirt to cover the scars again and he shrugged. 'It's okay.'
An awkward silence fell and Greg got up, 'Maybe I should go after all.' But before he could even take one step towards the door, Nick had grabbed his arm and spun him around.
'Greg,' Nick said, 'don't do this. Come, sit.' His voice was breezy, but Greg could see in his eyes that his friend was serious.
So he sat back down and looked at Nick. 'What?' he asked a little irritated, but the tremble in his voice gave him away.
'It's been over a year now,' Nick said, 'and you still don't wanna talk about it? Greg,' he quickly continued when he noticed that the younger man was about to interrupt, 'I can't know what you're going through if you don't tell me. And I want to know, I really do. Because I like you.'
Greg's eyes shone with tears and when Nick placed his hand on Greg's leg, the latter started to cry. He tried to bury his face in his hands, but Nick took his friend's chin and made sure he faced him before he said, 'You can tell me, G. I'll be more than a friend to you. Okay?' Greg only nodded and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his chest. His legs pulled up on the couch and with his head resting on his knees, he slowly spoke.
'I'm scared, Nick. I don't want to sleep because I know what I'll be dreaming about. Every time I close my eyes the same recurring nightmare pops up in my head. I can still smell the burning plastic, Nick, and I still feel the heat…' His voice drowned in a sob and Nick shifted on the couch, moving closer to the man he loved.
He gently stroke Greg's hair and said, 'I'm sorry G. If I'd known this, there's no way I would've let you sleep alone one more night.' His voice hesitated for a moment, then he continued, 'Have you ever considered visiting a social worker? Maybe they can help y-'
But Greg shook his head frantically, 'No! They can't help me. I know that and so do you. The only one that can help me is me. But I'm too scared. Terrified, actually. I'm afraid I won't be able to ever forget this.' he sighed and Nick nodded, ruffling through Greg's spiked blond hair, 'I understand, but I don't think you should forget. I think you should give it a place somewhere in your heart. You're just gonna need to deal with the fact that it happened and somehow find a way to be able to live with that.'
Greg had stopped crying and was now staring at Nick with what appeared to be admiration. When he spoke next, his voice had regained some of its old strength. 'You really have an answer to everything, don't you Nicky?' he smiled weakly and Nick smiled back at him, 'No G, I actually don't. And I'm not sure I can help you, but I'll do whatever it takes to try.'
He took Greg's hand in his own and squeezed it softly. Greg nodded, 'Thanks.'
Nick checked his watch. 'Gosh, it's two am already.' He turned to Greg, 'You're not planning on going home anymore, I assume?'
Greg hesitated, but Nick didn't allow him to leave. 'It's late, you're not feeling too well and besides, I have a wonderful guestroom.'
'Okay,' Greg caved, 'I'll stay. But no pity! I'm actually feeling much better. I swear, this really helped.'
He glanced at Nick, who smiled, 'I'm glad.'
While Greg went to fetch his bag from the hall, Nick quickly threw out most of the beer cans and the empty chips bags. When he returned from the kitchen, Greg was looking rather uncomfortable and his eyes kept flashing back and forth to the bathroom.
'What?' Nick inquired.
'Can I take a shower?' Greg asked and Nick smiled, 'Of course you can.'
He showed Greg to the bathroom and provided him with a clean washing cloth and a towel. 'And if there's anything else you need…'
'I know, thanks.' Greg said and he went into the bathroom with his towel and a pair of clean briefs Nick had lend him.
He turned the lock and undressed. Meanwhile, Nick was still standing on the other side of the door until he could hear the water of Greg's shower running. Then he returned to the living room and lied down on the couch. For forty minutes he just lied there, staring at his ceiling and thinking about Greg and how he'd finally gotten the former lab tech to open up to him.
He wondered whether he could possibly suggest for Greg to come and sleep in his room. It would maybe be a little weird, but on the other hand he'd love to have Greg so close to him and he really wanted to help Greg with his sleeping problem.
A few more minutes he mused about this, then he realized what time it was and that Greg had been in the shower for nearly forty-five minutes now. He sprang back to his feet and ran towards the bathroom.
'Greg!' he yelled, banging on the door, 'Greg? You still in there?'
No one answered him and Nick started to feel a little anxious.
'Greg? I'm coming in, okay?' And with one more knock, he broke the old lock and opened the door.
Greg was still in the shower and he jumped when Nick entered. His eyes flashed downward and he quickly covered his crotch with his hands.
'Sorry.' Nick mumbled awkwardly and he looked away to not make Greg feel ashamed. He couldn't help but wonder why Greg didn't just turn around to hide his nakedness, but then he remembered how shocked Greg had been on the couch when Nick had seen his burns. Of course, he didn't want to turn around. He was probably even more ashamed to show Nick his burns than his privates.
Once again, Nick felt so sorry for the younger man that he had to go through all this. Today he'd finally understood how bad the lab explosion had affected Greg, both physically and emotionally.
He turned around, closing the bathroom door behind him. Greg used this moment to grab his towel, wrap it around his hips and turn off the shower.
Nick looked up to Greg and now noticed his tear stained face. 'Greg,' he asked, 'are you okay?'
Greg's lower lip trembled and he shook his head, 'No.'
Their eyes locked and suddenly Greg stepped out of the tub and walked over to Nick. Right in front of the Texan he turned around, giving Nick full view of his scarred back. Right from the top of his back, even a little bit on the back of his neck, down to his lower back there was a webbed scar. The skin had turned pink in some places, burned red in others and the once smooth surface now looked like a riverbed.
Nick slowly raised one hand and carefully reached out to touch Greg's mangled skin. Greg flinched at the first contact, but he didn't pull back. Nick trailed his finger along Greg's spine and he could feel the latter relax under his touch.
'Does it still hurt?' he asked. Greg only nodded and Nick could hear him sob.
With both hands he started to massage Greg's shoulders. Greg dropped his chin on his chest to give Nick more space and without speaking another word, Nick worked over his friend's entire neck and back, his hands exploring Greg's muscles and relaxing his burned and exhausted skin, until he noticed goose bumps on Greg's arms.
'Cold?' he asked and he wrapped his arms around Greg's waist when the latter nodded, pulling him close.
Nick still felt the tension in Greg's body and only after a few minutes, did the younger man calm down and he leaned back, resting his head against Nick's shoulder. They stood in silence for a while and Nick could tell Greg's breathing slowly went back to normal. Nick nuzzled against the scarred part of Greg's neck and opened his mouth, his hot breath smoothing Greg's mangled skin.
'You're still more than beautiful to me.' he whispered, then he pulled back his arms and exited the bathroom, leaving Greg shivering in the cold air.
Within seconds Greg followed Nick, still wearing nothing but the towel. He walked over to his bag and took out a small, white tube. He sat down on the couch, next to Nick and handed it to his friend.
'Ah,' Nick joked, 'lube?'
But Greg didn't laugh. His features were dead serious and he looked kind of hurt.
'Sorry.' Nick said and he read the small letters on the tube.
It contained burn cream and Nick immediately felt like a complete jerk. Of course it wasn't lubricant and what a distasteful joke it must have been from Greg's point of view, especially given the situation.
Nick wanted to make up for it and so he was extremely gentle and careful while he rubbed the lotion on Greg's burns. He made sure he didn't miss a spot and massaged the lab tech turned CSI once more while rubbing the cream onto his back.
All the time Greg didn't say a word and Nick started to feel like he'd really messed up. When he finally finished, he stood up and wanted to fetch Greg a fresh shirt, but Greg pulled him down, so he fell back on the couch.
'Come. Sit.' Greg said softly and when Nick saw the grin on Greg's face, he felt so relieved that he too couldn't help but smile.
'Thank you.' Greg said and, reaching over to take the burn cream from Nick, he lightly pushed his lips against the Texan's, 'Thank you.' Then he got up and left the living room.