The Visit of the Woman-Dwarf:
The Sequel to the Hobbit and the Prequel to the Lord of the Rings
By Claire Hsu
Bilbo stared out into the pouring rain. It had been raining for quite some time now. Not the light drizzle the Shire was accustomed to having, but a sort of downpour that you can't see your own furry toes in front of you.
Everyone was inside. Who wouldn't be? Bilbo was in fact having a most delightful time. He had turned on his kettle, began frying his fish, and sat down in an easy chair with his pipe smoking and his heart content. It had been only a few months since the Battle of the Five Armies, but Bilbo, at the moment, felt very Baggins-like as he smoked his pipe, stared out the window, and waited for his kettle to sing.
At the precise moment when he began to serve himself the fish, Bilbo heard a sharp rap on the door, startling him so badly he dropped the pipe, knocked over the table, and flipped the fish like it was a pancake.
He scrambled to his feet, placed the fish on the table, and dashed to the door. He was about to open it when a sudden memory popped into his head. A memory of opening the door: only to see the doorstep occupied by a most strange Dwarf. For a moment Bilbo turned quite pale, then the Tookish side won and he opened the door.
There WAS a Dwarf occupying his doorstep. He was not part of the company, or Bilbo would've recognized him.
If this were the Bilbo before the events of the journey, he would've shut the door and ran back inside. But this Bilbo said very courteously, "Good afternoon. What can I do for you, sir?"
The Dwarf gave a loud snort. "If this is what you call a good afternoon, then call me an Elf. I presume you are Mr. Boggins?"
"Baggins." Bilbo corrected automatically, his brain meanwhile trying to figure out whom this Dwarf was and why did he know his name. Out loud, he said, "Please come inside."
"Thank you." The Dwarf grumbled as he stepped inside the door, shook out his wet cloak, and hung it up on the pegs nearby.
The hood was sky blue.
"Am I wrong to assume you were acquainted with the late Thorin Oakenshield?" The Dwarf asked.
"No, my good sir. I was on…er…very good terms with him before." Bilbo stammered, wondering if he had to fetch Sting. This Dwarf looked dangerous.
"So they told me…" The stranger said thoughtfully. He then sat down with a thump on the easy chair Bilbo had just occupied moment ago and began to help himself to the fish. "I should really introduce myself. My name is Dis."
"At your service." Bilbo said politely.
"I am Thorin's sister." Dis added. Bilbo started in surprise.
"Oh, I apologize, Madam. I did not realize…"
"It's alright. I know of the difficulties in telling Dwarvish women and men apart, believe me. I came here to thank you for your service done to my brother." Dis paused and stared into space. When she was doing so, Bilbo could see that she was a woman, despite her beard and body armor.
"Thorin was always the impulsive one." Dis continued in a trance-like way. "When we were little he was rash and impulsive. That was before Smaug, curse his name, attacked. He became grim. But, well, you saw how he turned out."
"Yes." Bilbo said sadly. "He would've made a great king. Are you also Kili and Fili's mother?"
Dis looked thunderous. "Say 'were', boy. I WAS their mother. But I'm still proud of them. Was it true that they died protecting my brother?"
"It was true." Bilbo said solemnly.
Dis looked both relieved and sad. "Good. They had always adored their uncle so…" She suddenly stood up with a decided air. "Thank you, Mr. Boggins. Balin said you were the best burglar of the group. I suppose the old boy was right. Here…"
She dug around her large traveling bag, and pulled out a large, leather and red book. Dis handed it to him, saying, "I give this to you. It is blank inside, but I'm sure you can think of something to write in there. Perhaps even about Thorin. This is my gift to you for being the one to be my brother's burglar."
She left Bilbo standing there, still in slight shock, and trotted to the door. "Thank you for the talk, Mr. Boggins, and the marvelous fish. Balin always did praise the quality of your meals…" Her voice faded away as the Dwarf yanked on her hood, gave a little bow, and marched out the door.
Bilbo closed the door. He was still holding the large journal in his hands. He walked carefully to the easy chair and sat down, staring at the book. Then Dis' last words clicked into his head, and he sprang up in alarm.
Dis wasn't joking. She had eaten the entire fish and drank all the tea, in seven minutes flat. Bilbo sighed and collapsed into the chair. She may be a woman, but she was a Dwarf as well.
He needed to fry another fish.