Disclaimer: I do not own K project or any of the characters. I may as well put a trigger warning, there will be blood and self-harm in this piece of fiction. If you don't like, please don't read.

This is also just a short work to get into the mindset of Fushimi and Yata, primarily, in celebration of finishing the anime. 😊

Coming Undone

Saruhiko

Fushimi stared at the computer screen completely uninterested in the facts he was sorting through. If he were to be completely honest with himself, life had become boring since he joined with the blues. His left hand came up as he absentmindedly scratched at his chest. he started losing focus on the task at hand as he focused on what his hand was doing. Peeling away the protective healing skin from his scorched pride. The smell of blood made him smile. The strangest things brought him pleasure. Also as his thoughts progressed a certain face that haunted all his nightmares returned once more to the surface.

"...Misaki…" his voice sounded foreign and broken, he hadn't even meant to speak. His hand stilled and the numbness in his chest started pounding in time with his bleeding wound making it difficult to breath.

Fushimi started muttering trying to regain focus on the data before him. It seemed no matter how hard he tried, the red haired HOMURA punk kept pulling his attention away. His hand was back at the bloody wound on his chest, he frowned slightly as he realized there was blood on his uniform. No one would question. He knew most of his coworkers were afraid of him, and the ones that weren't, well, they didn't care as long as he performed well.

It was satisfying that he could be allowed to disfigure his flesh as he wished. However, a small piece of him longed for someone to give a damn. Yes, Fushimi Saruhiko didn't want to die, he just wanted to bleed. He only wanted his outsides to reflect his insides. For all the bravado that he displayed in his everyday life, Saruhiko was still a demented lonely boy who ran from his problems.

The red head flashed through his mind again emphasizing his feeling of loneliness. In a sudden act of rash anger, he jabbed his index finger into the shallow wound. The pain was wonderful and he inadvertently let out a cry, His breathing became momentarily haggard as he struggled to regain his composure,

Just then a knock came to his door. Saru gritted his teeth, of course someone would come at such an intimate personal moment.

"One second." He called out, his voice surprisingly steady. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself up, even if only a little, he looked at his left hand and frowned, no way to clean the blood stains off his fingertips. He sighed and shrugged rising from his seat shoving his hand in his uniform pocket as he did so. Stalking across the room he aggressively opened the door only to be greeted by the complacent Reisei Munakata.

Munakata stood patiently in the hall looking as regal as ever, "Good evening Saruhiko," his voice was like silk. Fushimi felt an involuntary shiver run like ice down his spine, and doubted that it went unnoticed by his superior.

Saru tried to keep his voice a respectful as possible, after all this was his king. "What can I do for you sir?" he asked his voice almost mockingly monotone.

"I just stopped by to see how you were doing with the task I assigned you." Munakata paused but a moment and frowned slightly as he took in Saruhiko's appearance, "May I come in?"

Fushimi had to restrain from rolling his eyes. Instead he kept his face blank and nodded slightly stepping aside returning to the computer where he was doing his research.

Munakata strode in regally closing the door behind himself sitting gracefully on the large leather chair that sat in the corner nearest to Fushimi 's desk. The dark-haired male wasn't sure why but he was uneasy, and for the first time that day he realized he had never turned on his office lights.

As if reading his thoughts Reisei spoke "Kinda dark in here, any particular reason you are working with the lights off?"

Saru glared at his computer screen deciding on how to answer the question, be honest or be sarcastic as fuck, he settled for somewhere in the middle. "I don't like the light, why else would I have left Homura for you?" he scrolled through pages of information pseudo reading as he waiting for his king's response.

"Now Saru that is a bit of a low blow, you know we care about you here. I'm sure by now you realize I am not here for your information that you aren't even focusing on." His voice was still uninhibited by emotion but he was now giving off a frenetic energy that had Fushimis hairs standing on end. The slighter male glanced up in surprise before schooling his facial features.

He knew! Munakata Knew! His heart started pounding in his chest and he couldn't help but look at his king. "What do you mean?" he questioned "I am doing my research, and if you aren't here for a status report then why else would you come by?" Fushimi asked, unable to stop the bitterness that crept into his tone.

Munakata locked his gaze with Fushimi's and held him there. Fushimi's lip began to curl into a snarl as he realized that his king was purposely hesitating. He wanted to tell him to get out, but a respect for the man in front of him, and a mild regard for the rules kept Saru pinned to his seat. He tried to swallow, but his throat felt like sandpaper and he almost choked he felt his heart sink in his chest with every passing moment. Perhaps his self-destructive behavior hadn't gone unnoticed like he thought. Suddenly hyper aware of the visible stain on his uniform, and the conclusions His King could glean from that alone made him want to disappear. His breath all but stopped and he felt light headed, what could he do? He was trapped and if Munakata confronted him here, there would be no way out for him, he would have to face himself.

"You are a smart man Fushimi," the deep velvety voice broke the room from the stillness and Saru felt a piece of him fracture, "Why do you do this to yourself?" Reisei's voice was soft and the concern was evident in his gentle tone. His king paused and Saru new he waited for his answer now. Despite himself he responded ignorantly, "I don't know what you mean…what I do— "

Reisei cut him off, lunging up from his chair and trapping Saru in his. He placed one hand on each arm rest and purposely invaded the younger male's space his face finally showing some sort of emotion. "Bullshit," He hissed," don't toy with me, I can see the blood on your uniform, I've seen the rags in your trash. I know who drives you to do this, if you miss him that much just go talk to him!" the low angry voice of his superior dove right into the heart of the matter and Saru could feel himself loosing grip rapidly.

His rationale no longer coherent he raised his voice to his superior, "It's none of your god dammed business!" he ground out between clenched teeth, "As long as I do my duty, it doesn't matter how I conduct my own affairs!" Fushimi growled jabbing a thumb at himself, "And I suggest you keep your nose out of my personal business!" he finished his knuckles white from strain and his chest heaving as he fought down unwanted tears a slight keening noise escaping from his throat.

His king backed up and stood before him silent for a moment but composed but cold as ever when he spoke, "You are on a week's probation and if you haven't even attempted to sort out this mess of, how did you put it? Ah yes, an affair you have with Yatagarasu I will have no choice but to extend your suspension."

Fushimi was shocked, "what do you mean-?"

"You heard me. You are dismissed and I do not want to see you for a week." He ordered coldly, stalking out of the room leaving a broken and confused Saruhiko behind him.

The two seconds after the door clicked shut, felt like hours to Saru. He stared blankly at the door, unawares of his trembling hands, unawares of the single tear that had managed to break through his tightly woven façade. How long he sat there frozen, barely able to breath or think but eventually he began to thaw. He saved his work and shut down the computer. He stood and walked numbly to the door, opening it, exiting the room, and letting it fall shut behind him. The final click felt like a shot to his flesh and Saru knew exactly what he was going to do when he got home.

It was winter and the snow was falling, he was losing feeling in his body and it made him smile bitterly. Now he was the same as the inside, numb. It was a sick way to look at it but to Saru, that made him happy. He reveled in the pain, the only thing that made him feel real. The only thing that connected him to his beloved red head. Pain. He sighed and deranged laughter bubbled from his lips the hot air of his breath dancing with the falling snow. the laughter dissolved into a sob, something already broken breaking even more and Saruhiko was surprised he made it home.

So~ Let me know if I did any good getting into Fushimi's head~ I hope you enjoyed, leave a comment if you wish!

~CGreyson~