hey guys, this is my lame excuse for being gone for like ever, life is hard. okay so school started and im so overwhelmed. but this is kind of like a redemption for it all. this is my first like kind of freeverse. it's to jonas brothers can't have you(: you know you love it. i love the song and i know i try to not write with jonas brothers songs because i don't think i can do it justice, but i kind of like this(:
Disclaimer; nope, never.
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I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I don't know if I'll get up.
She looks up at the ceiling as she feels a tear in the corner of her eye.
She wants to wipe it away and just fall asleep, but she can't.
She can't fall asleep because she's afraid of tomorrow.
She's afraid of never hearing his beautiful deep voice again.
She's just plain afraid of losing him forever.
She can recall everything he ever said to her.
She ruined it all, all of the love he gave her.
She threw it away with one simple action.
And she regrets everything she did.
She sits up and breaths rapidly, because her lungs aren't working anymore.
She sits up and blinks many times, making sure it's not just a horrible nightmare.
She proves it's not a nightmare because her tear stained cheeks are wet.
Her eyes are red and puffy and itchy.
Her sobs can be heard from miles away.
She'd rather it be a horrible nightmare, than a dark cold reality.
I don't wanna cause a scene
But I'm dying without your love
She walks out of her house like a zombie.
She feels as her feet drag along the street to the house three doors away.
She can see his room light on.
She smiles knowing he's on his bed listening to some new underground band.
But her smile quickly fades as she realizes she's standing outside of his house in tears.
She lost him, probably forever.
And she wants to just throw rocks at his window and cry out everything she's feeling.
But she won't cause a scene, it's unlike her.
She's dying slowly; she's dying for his love.
The love she no longer feels.
She messed it up.
She knows.
And that's what hurts the most.
Begging to hear your voice
Tell me you love me too
She longs to hear his voice.
Whether it's by the phone or on her doorstep.
She wants him to come down from his room and forgive her for everything.
But she knows that's unrealistic, it'll never happen.
She knows he's gonna hate her forever.
She knows he's never going to care again.
She knows it's over and there's nothing she can do again.
He won't ever say 'I love you' again.
He won't ever say any word to her, ever again.
It kills her, because she knows this.
She just knows that her life will be filled with pain because he won't be in it.
She wished she could take it back, she really does.
But it's impossible.
Cause I'd rather just be alone
If I know that I can't have you.
She finally decides it's done.
She'd rather be alone her whole entire life.
Because she knows she can't have him.
No matter how hard she tries, it'll never be the same.
He'll move on some day, and she will be a faint memory, if any memory at all.
While she sits and weeps in her small apartment eating ice cream every night as dinner.
Because that's who she is, she's the girl that destroyed her own world.
It wasn't his fault; it was hers and only hers.
She wants to smile and know it'll be okay, but it won't.
It will never be okay again.
Because he isn't with her.
He doesn't love her anymore.
And she's not okay.
Because they're not Lilly and Oliver anymore.
She's just Lilly and he's just Oliver.
And it's all her fault.
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like, no like?
i know it's not happy lollie. but i felt a bit ... sad?
i don't know just review please!
muchooo love.
ForeverV