Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Every right belongs to Marvel.
Pairing: Clint/Coulson, mentioned Steve/Tony, Natasha/Bruce
Warning: not a death fic
A./N.: It's the third story I wrote for this fandom. I started a story at the same time I started Talking at cross purposes but it kinda got out of hand and is not finished yet but I will publish it soon.
So I thought I write a little story while you have to wait. The idea ghosted around in my head for months, so it was time to write it down. I hope it's a good story.
I borrowed the title "Wherever I go" from Buckcherry, it's one of the songs on the album "Avengers Assemble"
Have fun :)
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High upon a cliff, not too far from Tony Stark's mansion, was where he liked it best. He could see the sea, hear the gulls and fitting to his mood this day even the rage of mother nature.
His lover showed him the place when they first started dating.
And the loss of said lover was what brought him back there.
Their third wedding anniversary was rolling around and they used to come out here.
Normally they spent their time with talking and eating their favorite meals, from their favorite restaurant. Holding each other, watching the scenery, making out sometimes.
All the little things couples do to vow their undying love.
Life seemed like such a farce right now.
Living to protect people who do not appreciate to be saved. Ungrateful was a word he constantly associated with the human race. Ungrateful and hypocritical.
Oh they weren't all ungrateful, they were thankful for saving their loved ones but society in general was not.
His lover went out to save a village from harm, somewhere where corruption was thriving and help far away, and they left him there, all alone.
Fighting about politics, regulations and how far they could go interfering with South America's affairs just to get an Agent back, while he fought for his life.
At the time they found a solution, or more Fury gave a fuck and went on, it was already too late.
They couldn't find a body but they brought his gun and bloody shirt back home.
DNA tests gave the dreaded evidence that it was indeed his lover's blood, he had hoped for days that it wasn't Phil's blood. That it was someone else's blood but deep down he'd known the chance was vanishingly low.
Even though they couldn't prove his demise they changed his MIA status to KIA.
His body probably rotting in a ditch.
Clint remembered how they ordered him into HQ and gave him Phil's belongings.
They said they were sorry and then they left.
They left him all alone in the middle of a conference room, with Phil's blood soaked shirt and gun, and his bitter thoughts.
He couldn't believe in what they said. He couldn't believe that his husband was gone.
Clint never hated himself as much for following orders as he did since that day.
Phil would have wanted him to follow their orders, because that was what a good Agent did.
He should have given in to the urge to look for him on his own, he came to the conclusion that Phil would have done that too. The mission was classified but he would have been able to get the information nonetheless.
Yesterday they buried him, an empty coffin just filled with the memory of an great Agent, husband and friend.
Captain America and his team had been there, he could see that they were truly sad.
Phil had been one of their handlers for months, since Loki and his minions attacked, and even before that he supervised missions which involved Stark or Rogers.
Clint couldn't show his emotions during the funeral, he just stood there, staring at the grave through his sunglasses. Natasha stood close to him, whispering to him once in a while to coax out a reaction but he couldn't react. He was too scared to break if he did.
Therefore he cried and raged after he got home, their home. The apartment smelled like Phil, his things were everywhere, wherever he went Phil's memory was there too. The second toothbrush, the cologne, pictures, favorite coffee mug...
"Clint we have to go," Natasha said softly from behind him.
He nodded and whispered a, "Goodbye Phil," into the wind, in hope the wind would carry his words to wherever Phil might be.
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"Good morning Agent Barton, nice of you to join us," Fury glared as they entered the room. The Avenger's were already there, waiting for them.
"We had to attend an urgent matter, sir." Natasha apologized while Clint remained silent.
Nick gave her a nod before he continued, "Like I said, we decided to extend the Avenger project."
"Who will join us?" Cap wasn't sure he liked the idea.
"Just Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton will transfer to you." Fury ignored Clint's angry glare.
"No," the younger man hissed.
"Have I given anyone the impression that it's up for negotiation?" he looked around. "Can't remember it either."
"Why them?" Tony asked, eying Clint suspiciously.
"You worked well during Loki's attack and there is more work out there than you three can handle," it wasn't an offence.
"I have enough work with black ops, sir," Barton gritted out, he felt like Fury degraded him.
"Look at it as a promotion." Nick's eyes softened a little.
"We will gladly join them." Natasha hoped that Clint would come around and accept the fact that Phil wasn't there anymore and Nick tried to keep him safe. As safe as they could be in their line of work.
Clint nodded and remained silent, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"It would be nice, Mr. Stark, if they could move into the Avenger's mansion with you," Nick wanted to bring them closer together. Barton needed people who cared for others and who was better suited to keep the boy safe than Captain America and his bunch of softies. They would deny it but he knew better, under all the macho attitudes lay hearts of gold.
"Of course," Tony smirked. "Two bedrooms, or just one?"
Fury put a hand on Clint's shoulder to keep him in his seat. "Two rooms would be nice Mr. Stark."
Clint took a deep breath and tried to relax, if not for Nick he would have punched Tony.
"Little firecracker, are you?" Tony covered his surprise.
Hawkeye bit his lower lip to keep his mouth shut, he hated them.
He hated everything they represented.
Phil's beliefs and idealism got him killed and the Avengers represented everything Phil believed in.
"I will not tolerate your behavior Mr. Barton, normally I do not interfere but I will if your behavior threatens to endanger our team. Do you understand, son?"
"Sir, yes sir. And with all due respect sir, I'm no one's son." Clint stated, his tone was hard and left no room for an argument.
"All right, Agent." Cap nodded, not liking the kid.
"Can we leave now?" Clint asked Fury.
"Are you two joined at the hip, or why is it always we?" Tony wondered out loud.
"We are a team Mr. Stark," Natasha replied, "by far longer than you guys."
"0900 tomorrow morning, in the gym," Cap said before Nick could put an end to their meeting.
"You can go now, Clint I want to talk," Nick ordered.
"What do you want?" he leaned against the table, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Don't do that to yourself."
"I don't want that, Nick. I don't need them," he lowered his gaze.
"I think you do." Fury settled down on top of the table next to Clint, "You need a purpose and people who care."
"Everything I need is him."
"But he isn't here anymore," Fury stated, his heart arched at the thought of his old friend.
"Hmpf," Barton grunted, he knew Nick was Phil's best friend and that the older man hurt, too, but it didn't help one bit.
"I would offer you a few weeks off but I don't think it would help."
"No, sir. It wouldn't," he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.
"You can talk to me whenever you need to."
"I know." Clint smiled sadly, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate what you did for him."
"He was my friend."
"He loved you very much, Nick. You were his best friend and he treasured your friendship." Clint left the table and walked to the door.
"It means a lot to me," it did indeed. "Be careful okay? He'd never forgive me if I fail you, too."
"You didn't fail him," Barton said before he left.
"It doesn't feel that way," Fury sighed and returned to his duties.
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"Let's take a look at your skills," Cap eyed his new comrades. "Who wants to be first?"
Natasha took a step towards Steve, granting Clint some time for himself. "I want."
Steve nodded and got ready.
Natasha fought as fast and graceful as ever. "She would have handed you your ass if you weren't Captain America," Tony laughed as her left hook connected with Steve's jaw.
"That's enough for today Agent Romanoff," Steve grinned at Tony's comment. He was right the girl was great at hand to hand combat.
"Your turn," he motioned at Clint.
"Yes, sir," Steve rolled his eyes at the reply. "Stop calling me that."
"No, sir." Barton took a swing at Cap but the older man dodged him effortlessly.
After fifteen minutes Cap ended their sparing session. Clint panted heavily, his jaw was bruised and his lip split. Steve had a gash above his right eye where Clint's elbow connected with his face. The boy was good he had to give him credit for that but he seemed to be unfocused at times and that could cost him his life, or the lives of one of the others. "You need to work on your concentration, son."
Clint ignored his statement. "How's your side Nat?"
"Fine," she stated, both of them seemed rather chilly. "Your jaw?"
The archer snorted, "Had worse."
"You can move in tomorrow if you want to." Tony observed their behavior and came to the conclusion that they gave a damn about Cap or the Avengers.
"Great." Nat faked a smile while she put a hand on Clint's shoulder to offer some comfort, "I'll help you when you help me, deal?"
Clint grinned at her appreciating her try to sooth his pain. "You can ask your big guy," he said slyly.
"What?" her eyes widened.
"I'm sure Bruce will help you, right Dr. Banner?" he looked at the silent man who sat in a corner of the room, with a book in hand.
"I'd be glad to," he blushed faintly, therefore Nat blushed even more. "You don't have to," she would have stuttered if she weren't trained not to.
"I don't need your help Nat," he gave her an ungentle push in Bruce's direction before he grabbed his bag and left.
"He's such a sweety," Tony spat.
"Be careful what you say," Natasha threatened. "Leave him be."
"Why is that?"
"Give him time, that's all I'll say and it's all I'll ever ask you for," she folded her towel and put it back into her bag. "Would you like to join me for some coffee?" Nat invited Bruce.
"Yes," he said enthusiastically before he coughed and banned the childish happiness that bubbled in his chest.
"I don't understand him," Cap hated it.
"Me neither but we should give him more time, she must have a reason to ask for it so we should grant it," Tony said thoughtful.
"You're right," he looked around before he placed a soft kiss behind Tony's ear. "Who had thought that you're such a connoisseur of human nature."
"Big words for someone like you, Mr. I believe no one is evil by nature," he leaned into the kiss. Cap chuckled and the vibration against Tony's neck sent a wave of joy through his system.