Title:Swear to Me
Summary:Kurt and Blaine finally talk about what happened. Post-4.04
Spoilers:All fair game. Specifically 4x04
Warnings:None
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 1,508
Disclaimer: I own nothing, no profit being made blah blah blah…
A/N: 4.04 broke me. It broke me so much I had to write this to try to make myself feel a bit better… I hope this might help some of my fellow Klainers. Remember you guys; They are ENDGAME! Keep it in mind during these dark, dark times.
Kurt didn't even know why he was here. Well, that wasn't true; he knew exactly why he was here, he just didn't know if he should be.
Had it been him on the outside looking in, he would have told himself that he was being crazy but honestly, being on the inside was hurting too much. So much. He couldn't breathe for the pain most of the time.
So, here he was, sitting in the room that had made his high school experience mostly bearable, waiting for the boy who had stolen away with his heart to explain why he had stomped all over it when Kurt wasn't around to watch over him.
And god, he wished that wasn't the truth.
"Kurt?" came a quiet voice that set off the butterflies in his stomach. He really didn't want to have this conversation.
"You wanted to talk" he replied without turning to look at his boyfriend… ex-boyfriend? "So talk"
"Will you look at me?" Blaine asked sounding closer than when he first spoke.
"No. I don't think I can."
"Okay, that's fine just, please please listen to me. Please. I need to explain. Even if you don't forgive me, and honestly, I'm not really expecting you to. I mean, it's not like I deserve it, but please I need you to know this. Please."
"Just tell me what you have to say Blaine. I want to see my Dad for more than half an hour before I go back to New York." He knew he was being a little bit hard on Blaine, but he just wanted this over with. He wanted to let Blaine have his say and not break down and sob his heart out, and for that to happen he had to fully engage his bitch mode.
"Okay. I-uh- First, I'm sorry Kurt. So sorry. You don't know how sorry I am, I hate myself for it I really truly do and knowing that I just threw everything we had away for a- urgh- I don't even know. I just… I have no excuses. I know you hate me right now, and I understand that but Kurt- I hate myself so much more."
Blaine paused as if expecting Kurt to say something, but he couldn't speak now- he already felt the sharp pain in his throat from trying not to let his tears fall and if he attempted to say anything he knew his voice would be so broken.
Blaine let out a breath and Kurt heard him sitting down on the chair just behind him but Kurt kept his eyes stubbornly averted.
"Second, I need you to know what happened"
No "I don't need to know the sordid details" he was right; his voice was wrecked.
"It- I- Kurt it wasn't like that. I prom-"
"Don't promise me anything." Now he had started he couldn't stop "You don't get to do that anymore. What happened to 'talk to me', huh? What happened to 'tell me when you're unhappy'? Where did that go exactly?"
"I tried to talk to you!"
Kurt whirled around now unable to stop himself and damn Blaine looked terrible. "It's my fault then is it?"
"No! No I'm not- that's not-" Blaine ran a hand over his hair and grabbed the back of his neck frustrated.
"I didn't pick your call up so you slept with someone else?"
"What? No, Kurt I didn't sleep with him! I swear I didn't!"
This made Kurt pause "You said you were 'with someone', Blaine."
"Yes, I was but I never had sex with him. I swear to you I didn't, I swear."
"Tell me what happened then, but please don't give me a play by play. I honestly don't think I could handle it" Kurt said quietly, looking down at his hands but still turned towards Blaine.
Blaine shifted in his seat, and moved closer "Okay, he- uh- he added me on facebook ages ago, before I met you even, and a few weeks ago he messaged me and asked me if I would go over to his place and I said no. But he kept messaging me and poking me and I was missing you so much and he said we were just going to talk and I believed him, so I agreed to meet him. And he k-kissed me and I was really shocked and I didn't push him away right away but I did push him away, Kurt. I did. And I told him no several times, actually, and I told him that I love you and that I miss you and I wasn't the type of person to cheat on his boyfriend and then he said I just had and I felt so so guilty."
Kurt was watching Blaine closely, and saw the guilt etched plain as day on his face and damn if he didn't feel a little sorry for him. He kept quiet, though and listened intently.
"So I went home and booked the next flight out because I had to see you and I couldn't not tell you but I think I said it all wrong and everything got out of control and I was so crippled with guilt I couldn't make you see and then I broke everything. I broke us." Blaine looked up at Kurt and whispered "I threw away the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm so sorry, Kurt."
Kurt nodded and took a breath "You didn't have sex with him?" he had to be absolutely certain before they went any further.
"No, I promise on everything and anything I did not have sex with him. Please, Kurt you have to believe that. I didn't, I couldn't. The only person I ever could do that with is you. You and no one else, not ever."
"Do you still have him on your facebook?"
"No. I deleted and blocked him when I got back from New York. He'd uh- messaged me again and I might have lost it a bit… told him what I thought of him, then told him to never speak to me again and I blocked and deleted him"
Kurt nodded again and focused on Blaine's achingly hopeful face. "You hurt me, Blaine."
"I know, and I hate myself for that more than you know."
"You need to never do that again. You need to swear to me that you will never do it again."
"Oh God, Kurt I swear to you. I promise. I'll do anything to make you believe me. I swear."
"I don't think we can go back to how it was, Blaine. I- You've lost my trust and you need to earn it back"
"I will! I'll do anything, please Kurt, just give me the chance to prove to you how much I love you. I'll spend every day of my life proving how much I love you and how sorry I am, and when I'm missing you I promise I'll text you everything I want to say to you and I'll try to understand that you're busy and you don't always have time for me"
"I always have time for you, Blaine. I just- I got caught up with Vogue and New York and I got short sighted and single minded and I'm sorry for that. We both need to work harder. We knew it would be hard, but I don't think either of us really understood how hard"
Blaine nodded and stared at Kurt, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "Kurt, will you- please- please will you take me back?"
"We were never broken up, Blaine." Kurt sighed "I just had to decide what to do."
"Have you decided?"
"Yes. We're going to stay together" Blaine sucked in a sharp breath and crumpled down in obvious relief "but we're both going to have to work hard to make it work. And I swear to God, Blaine if you do anything like this again we are over and I mean it."
"I won't!" Blaine grabbed onto Kurt's hands without thinking and held them tightly.
"One more thing" Kurt said revelling in Blaine's hands around his own again and waited for Blaine to look up at him. "Kiss me."
Blaine sobbed out a breath and rushed forward to meet Kurt's lips in a needy kiss gasping out sobs of relief between kisses and clutching at Kurt tightly. He broke away and dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder and hugging him so closely he was sure he was more out of his seat than in it, and Kurt was struggling to breathe while Blaine babbled into his shirt "Oh god, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. I love you I love you so much you have no idea. So much, I love you."
"I love you too, Blaine" Kurt whispered even as he pulled back and cleared his throat, wiping his eyes.
"Now let's get out of here- I have a flight back to New York in the morning and I plan to use my time here very wisely."
Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading :) xx