The Official Fanfic
Ch. 1: Charlie Fucks it Up
"Boardwalk burgers, more like bored burgers, cause the burgers aren't having fun," Charlie said, the energy draining from his voice as the end of his joke approached. The crowd was silent, as usual. "It's a thinking man's joke you see, cause the burgers are just like dead ani-" Brendan Fraser hung up, bringing the much anticipated podcast to an abrupt halt.
"Good job Charlie," Jackson moaned, "We don't have enough time to do another podcast, what are we gonna do?"
"Yeah Charlie, I hate it when you fuck stuff up," Kaya complained, muttering a treasonous remark under his breath.
Andrew made an unfunny and uninsightful joke.
"Hey, I'm not the one who rambled about alimony for 10 minutes, and I'm definitely not the one challenged him to a game of worms in the middle of his crying fit. He's a broken man! And you know what happened the last time I didn't tell the joke, Andrew's peenie weenie still hasn't recovered!"
Andrew made an unfunny and uninsightful joke.
"Andrew's cum cannon isn't what's important right now Charlie, you just ruined our 69th podcast and there's no way the fans are going to accept late work." Jackson stood up, his computer chair audibly rolling away.
"Seriously, I hate it when the fans get angry at us, and you're putting all of our beanie babies at risk here, and I hate when my baby batter blaster master is at risk."
"Kaya, Jackson, it's not that big a deal, we still have the live event at adult expo on a few days, we'll make up for it there."
"That's dumb Charlie, I hate it when you say dumb things like that," Kaya said, gunshots faintly going off in the background, "The fans are ravenous beings that crave only for your bod, they want both, and won't just be happy with one." Jackson could be heard beating one of his slave children.
"Whatever guys, I'm going to bed, I'll meet you guys at the airport tomorrow." Charlie heard a complaint coming out of Kaya, cutting him off before he could finish. Charlie sighed, he didn't need all the bs after his idol and masterbatory savior had just hung up on him. He fell back in his bed, the only comfort as he drifted to sleep was the [lesbian porn star #1] and [lesbian porn star #2] poster hung above his bed.
Ch. 2 Charlie Fucks it Up
Charlie squirmed in his chair as he awaited the arrival of Jackson and Kaya. His head resting in his hand.
Andrew made an unfunny and uninsightful joke.
Finally, he heard the familiar voices of the two social pariahs he had come to know as friends
"Charlie," Jackson the Irate Aussie called out, "The hell, we've been her for 3 hours waiting on you, where the fuck have you been?"
"You told me to pick you up at 9!" Charlie pleaded.
"What are you on about you fucking idiot, we said 6!" Jackson said, almost shouting, as he pulled up his text history with Charlie.
"Oh," Charlie murmered under his breath
"Whatever, just get us to the hotel." Kaya said, pushing past Charlie towards the car.
Ch. 3 Charlie Fucks
As the gang filed into the hotel room, Charlie jokingly pushed Jackson onto the bed.
"What are we going to do on the bed Charlie-kun?" Jackson asked innocently, yet seductively.
"Um, what?" Charlie asked, legitimately confused. He turned his head and saw Kaya and Andrew undressing, their bodies oiled and toned
"It's the adult expo Charlie, we should have some fun beforehand.," Jackson said between sex labored breaths.
"You wanna go bowling? My dad can come,"
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE CHARLIE" Jackson and Kaya yelled simultaneously.
Andrew made an unfunny and uninsightful joke.