AN: So on my old account, this was the very first story I posted. Well, not really, it was the first non-OC story I posted. And the original version of this story was 200 words and mostly script format. And then I rewrote it, and that was the version that was on my old account until recently. (I took it down, because reposts pretty much borderline the no-duplicate-rules thing)

And now, I'm editing it again. To make it actually decent. So, uh...enjoy my Take 3 of a dumb idea 11 year old me had. It turned out pretty well, mainly because it's only vaguely similar to my other two tries at this, and I had a lot of fun writing it.

Also, there is literally no canon in this thing. Roughly OoT. So roughly. Sandpaper rough. Fight me I wanted to write this. Of course they have gum in Hyrule what are you talking about.

Disclaimer: I don't own things that are copyrighted because I am not a billionaire.

Ganondorf, King of Evil and self-proclaimed Ruler of Hyrule, was having a lovely day. Which is quite unusual, as he should really be dead after that whole "taking over Hyrule and then defeated by Link" thing.

Anyway, he was having a splendid time walking around, because maybe he finds that really enjoyable or something, I don't know. He was sure nothing could ever ruin his day.

As you know, whenever someone thinks this something goes wrong. It's horribly cliche, but that's not the point.

As he was strolling, he was so immersed in his evil, plot-making thoughts that he failed to notice he was about to step on something. Something being gum. A weirdly large amount of it, the Giant Goron must have been eating it. What a jerk, leaving that much gum behind. People could get hurt.

People being Ganondorf.

Ganondorf was never fond of gum. The other Gerudos loved it, but Ganondorf just found it to be pointless and stupid. It has no flavor, and if it's one of the flavored ones it loses flavor after 10 minutes. It's not even food, you can't swallow it. Well, you can, but that's pretty much taboo in the bubble gum world. I mean, stepping on gum (especially that much, Giant Goron, you jerk) would suck for anyone, but that's why it sucked especially for Ganondorf.

He was stopped in his tracks quickly as he realized lifting his feet was a lot harder then it normally was. He realized his predicament, and angrily tried to pull it off with his gloves. That wasn't the brightest idea, but he didn't exactly have the Triforce of Wisdom. He had the Power one, so maybe he thought he was powerful enough to remove it that way. Not that it worked.

Ganondorf, now with pink substance on his gloves, pulled out his sword and tried to scrape off the gum with that. Which is really poor judgement. A sword? Really? You could cut off your foot or something! And if it succeeds, you then have to deal with the sword being covered in gum. So not only was that horribly unsafe, it didn't work in the slightest, it only caused the gum to spread. Now there was gum on his sword, too.

He, by some lucky spin of the metaphorical wheel of fate, was standing very close to Lake Hylia. So he decided to jump in the water and see if that would work. That wasn't even remotely close to a good idea, because if the Zoras caught him in his territory, he was screwed. Defeating many Zoras with magic was simple, defeating many angry Zoras when he was covered in gum was not.

And of course jumping into the lake isn't doing to work. Gum doesn't work that way. You can't just hop into water and hope all your troubles will wash away, probably to poison some fish. You have to work for it. The result of this was that not only was he covered in a light layer of gum, he was soaking wet. So he decided to sit on a rock for a little bit and ponder his options. Even if he did get stuck to the rock, it would be more comfortable then standing. He really wished someone who didn't hate him would come and help him. Nearly anyone, really. Anyone except for...

Link was returning from a lovely visit with Princess Ruto. She was really pleasant when she wasn't trying to force you to marry her. He wanted to check up on his hip buddy, the scarecrow, and in doing so stumbled across Ganondorf.

Link really wished he had a picto box because this was it. This was the reward he got for putting up with all those quests. What were the chances he would find Ganondorf covered in gum?

"Ganondorf? Is that you?" Link asked, just to be sure, stifling a laugh.

"Yes. Go away." Ganondorf grumbled. Of course, his one enemy that he hated more then all of the others had to find him. These lucky hairpins were a rip-off. The two off them remained motionless in silence for a bit.

"Ya know, peanut butter will take care of that..." Link said, breaking the silence.

"Really?!" Ganondorf jumped up in excitement at this.

"Uh...yeah..." Was Ganondorf showing emotions such as "happiness"? Link didn't know he was capable of emotions other then "rage against the fool" and "evil laugh combined with evil sneer".

"OH YEAH!" Ganondorf yelled, teleporting back to his home in the desert, leaving Link standing in confusion without so much as a thank you.

See, Ganondorf really liked peanut butter. No one really knew why. But because of this, he had jars of peanut butter stacked in his cupboards. So many jars. It was unnatural. No one was quite sure where he got it all from.

Alas, due to a new beauty method that his guards were trying, he returned home to see an abundance of peanut butter jars lying empty on the floor. He picked one up in vain, only to have it stick to him. His rage grew as the looked at the mess around him, clenching his fist around the jar that was now stuck to him.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"