Breaking the Habit

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Nor do I own the song 'Breaking the Habit' by Linkin Park.

Memories consume, like opening the wound, I'm picking me apart again.

I try not to think about it, but it always comes back to haunt me. The pain never really goes away, no matter how hard I try.

You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, unless I try to start again.

Everyone thinks I got over it, but I really didn't. Sometimes I still cry about it at night; in my room, where no one can see.

I don't want to be the one; the battles always choose.

It wasn't supposed to end up like this. He was just trying to protect me. Why did he have to go?

'Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused

My memories from that time are still jumbled together. The only thing I knew for sure was that he wasn't coming back.

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream.

Was it really worth it to protect me? He could have saved himself, and prevented so much suffering.

I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean.

After he left, I grew cold. I let my sorrow consume me, and pushed everyone else away.

I don't know how I got this way; I know it's not alright.

I thought I could be strong, but in the end it was obvious: I couldn't handle it.

So I'm breaking the habit… I'm breaking the habit tonight.

Maybe tonight I'll finally get over it. Maybe.

Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door; I try to catch my breath again.

I check every now and again, to see if the static has disappeared. In the end it's hopeless, as it's always there.

I hurt much more, than any time before; I had no options left again.

It got to me this time. I hurled it against the wall and broke down. I couldn't stop crying.

I don't want to be the one; the battles always choose.

I never really wanted to fight; I just wanted to help out my friends.

'Cause inside I realize, that I'm the one confused

Even though everything else is blurry, the one thing that remains vivid is his death.

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream.

Was it really worth it to protect me? He could have saved himself, and prevented so much suffering.

I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean.

After he left, I grew cold. I let my sorrow consume me, and pushed everyone else away.

I don't know how I got this way; I'll never be alright.

I thought I was strong, but in the end it's still obvious: I can't handle it

So I'm breaking the habit… I'm breaking the habit tonight.

Maybe tonight I'll finally get over it. Maybe.

I'll paint it on the walls! 'Cause I'm the one at fault!

It's all my fault; I just wasn't strong enough.

I'll never fight again! And this is how it ends…

He's never going to come back; there's nothing I can do. It's all over.

I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream.

Was it really worth it to protect me? He could have saved himself, and prevented so much suffering.

But now I have some clarity, to show you what I mean.

My friends have been trying to show me the way, but I'm still not sure

I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright.

I thought I was strong, but in the end it's still obvious: I can't handle it

So I'm breaking the habit. I'm breaking the habit…I'm breaking the habit tonight.

Maybe tonight I'll finally get over it. Maybe, just maybe.

Author's Notes: Dedicated to the memory of Leomon. I heard this song again recently, and thought is worked really well for Jeri after the loss of Leomon. This is my first songfic, and I would love to hear what people think. All constructive criticism is most welcome.