Inspired by 'If This Was a Movie' and 'Ours' by Taylor Swift

A sigh escaped my lips as I watched the clock tick by the seconds…minutes…hours. I ran a shaky hand through my hair as I stood up slowly, another day gone by and you're still not home. Somewhere, deep in my mind I knew that you never would, that I would never hold your hand; that you would never step through our door again.

I blindly washed the dish that I used and put away your unused one. The one I set out even though you're no longer here. Maybe I've been going back too much lately…I slowly walked down the dull hall to our room, tracing my finger over the pictures of us, where you were still here, my hand lingering on our wedding picture. I closed my eyes, lips pressing together, reminiscing on old memories. A stray tear slipped down my face and I let it slip down my face. I heard it hit the floor, your laugh no longer filling the silence that you left.

The bed was stiff and cold without you warming the space beside me. My hand swept over your old spot and more tears spilled out. It was so hard getting the fact through my head. You were gone. Forever. But if this was a movie you'd be here.

My dreams were filled with your smile, your laugh. You. Just you, and that hurt the most. I know that these happen, but life seems to have stopped the minute you left. I still remember that day as if it happened yesterday, the memory is so clear it's like I'm reliving it every time I think of it. I remember, dropping you off at the airport, you're last words were, "Nothing's going to change, not for me and you." He placed a soft kiss on my lips. I kissed him back as if it were our last. If only I knew that it was.

"Just come back to me, Fang," I whispered, closing my eyes a little, remembering your rare smile, the one that meant the most, and the one that you had to earn. It took me nine months to earn that smile. I stopped in the living room, looking at your smiling picture. You were in your uniform, the American flag folded in a triangle resting next to it and your star buttons that were always placed perfectly rested in a box, shining proudly. I'd give this all away just to have you back, just to hug you again, and to never let you go.

I went to the kitchen and started making coffee, just the way you liked it: strong. I looked out the window, the only sound was my shallow breathing and the coffee maker bubbling to life. I stared at the sky, as if you would magically drop from it. I looked at the driveway once, and then turned away, the pain too much. Your truck was still there, half finished. You always needed to be working on something, so you bought the truck, I was with you, and you chose the rustiest one saying that it was the color of my eyes. I would shove him with my shoulder and smile, laughing, but we bought it anyway. Now I just want to see your dark eyes again.

I went back to the living room, the coffee maker bubbling in the distance. I fingered the letter that sent all the bad news; I read it a million times but each time was like the first, a fresh stab of pain always came. The ink ran from my tears, but I could still make out each and every painful word.

I slowly picked it up, opening the envelope flap. I cautiously took out the letter like it might explode.

I took a deep breath before unfolding it and began reading it.

Dear Ms. Max Walker,

The Department of the Army deeply regrets to inform you that your husband Nicholas Walker of the U.S. Army was lost in action in the performance of his duty and in the service of his country.

The department extends to you its sincerest sympathy in your great loss.

Sincerely,

General James K. Wilson

Chief of Army Personnel

I let out a sharp gasp and the tears threatened to spill, I forced them to stay at bay. I slowly refolded the letter, swallowing the tears. "If you're out there, Fang…" I whispered, eyes still closed. "If you're somewhere…" I sighed, placing the letter back in its spot where it rested for the past six years.

"I just want to see you back at my front door…" I sighed. Lost in action. Another way to say he's gone forever.I couldn't face another damned day without him. I still remember each and every day we spent together.

I especially remember the day we got into a fight, the day before he got sent out. He didn't even yell. He just took it and waited for it to end.

"WHY?" I shouted at him, turning away from his face. He told me the day before he had to leave that he would be gone for ten years. I knew he'd be leaving, but not for that long.

"Max…please don't do this," He pleaded, following me into the living room. He grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him. His eyes were sincere, showing his pain that he would miss me, that it was just as hard on him as it was on me.

"YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME!" I shouted, holding back the tears, but something like this is hard to pretend everything is okay. I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head and turning away from him. But he grabbed my other arm, making me look him in the eye.

"Max, I-" I looked down, as if cutting him off. He shut up and waited for me to move, to do something. The tears were silently slipping down my cheeks. "I love you." That wasn't the first time I'd heard those words escape his mouth, but it was the first time that it had this much meaning. It was almost as if he knew he wouldn't come home.

I looked up at him. I wanted to return those words, but something else was plaguing my mind, "Then why are you leaving me?" I croaked out, quieter than a whisper. His eyes looked pained. I knew he had no choice, but I just wanted to know that he would come home, that I wouldn't be left alone forever. Because I could never love anyone the way I loved him.

He shook his head sadly, "I-I have no choice. I don't want to go…" I shook my head. I didn't want to hear this, but I never wanted to know the truth, I'd always just wanted what would put me to peace.

I pulled away from him, shaking my head. I didn't look at him as I exited the room, and for once he didn't follow. For some reason, he slept on the couch that night, giving me time to cool down, but I wanted him there in the bed just once more before we had no more time left. The next day came too fast. I easily forgave him, not wanting him to leave on a bad note.

I missed his warmth. I missed the way that he made my heart skip a beat. I missed him. But maybe it's not the end, a small part of me, the part that still believed he was alive, said. I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned against the wall.

A small beep broke through the silence, signaling that the coffee was done. I had always hated the way he liked his coffee, but now that's all that I had to look forward to. It's the small part of him that's still with me.

I fingered the simple silver ring on my finger. My friends thought it was too simple that he didn't care enough to go all out on it. But I told them all to shove it, that it was a beautiful ring. It described me, simple yet beautiful. If I were actually beautiful. I had always questioned my beauty but he had always told me that I was more beautiful than Aphrodite herself. That made me laugh, and I teased him on how cheesy he was, but inside my heart soared.

I twisted it on my finger while retrieving two cups. I stopped halfway, remembering that he wasn't sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. I gulped, turning my head to see the table, my hope dropping ten more times. It is so hard to forget someone so quiet. But that's what I loved about him, he understood everything, and every word that came out of his mouth was meaningful.

I put away his black cat mug, the one I made him for our three month anniversary; he got me the ring that resigned on my left hand.

I closed my eyes, listening intently, as if I would hear the gravel crackle under his boots as he walked up the driveway. But that's what I heard.

Crunch! Crunch!

My eyes flew open to see a familiar figure walking past the rusty truck that was missing two wheels and half the engine. My breath caught in my throat and somewhere in the world a cup fell to the floor and shattered. He still looked awkward in the green suit, black being his usual, but it was so familiar, so comforting. I felt the tears burst as I ran out the front door. I stopped on the porch as if I were dreaming, but there he was, broken and scarred, but still there in the flesh. My breath hitched in my throat and I felt like someone jump started my heart. He looked up and met my watery eyes. A shaky smile was plastered on my lips as I ran to him. He dropped his duffel bag, catching me as I jumped in to his arms. I was crying, holding him tightly. He spun me a little, never letting me go, and I knew that he shed a few tears too.

Once my feet were planted on the floor I pulled away from him, curling my lips inward, holding back a sob of happiness. I waited for this dream to end, but it kept going and going. He came home.

He pulled me into a kiss, the one that I've missed so much, and I kissed him back. I felt electricity everywhere we touched and the whole world seemed to fade away. It was just him and me, together forever.

We pulled away, and I rested my forehead on his, knocking his hat to the ground, letting his now short black hair free. He looked funny with short hair, but now I could see his eyes, dark obsidian with little hazel flecks in them. "You came home," I whispered, scared to break this trance, scared to wake up from this dream.

He smiled a little, "I promised I would." Then I broke down crying again, and he pulled me into a hug. He rubbed circles in my back and that made me cry harder. I missed him so much… I was a zombie without him, and only with him will I be alive. How long until he leaves again? I couldn't push the thought away; it just hurt too much knowing that this was only temporary.

I pulled out of the hug, furiously wiping away the tears. He smiled at me, smiled at my weakness. He always said that it was a relief to see me cry, because he feared that I had been replaced by a robot. He liked knowing that I cared too. A bubble of laughter floated out of me and he smiled wider. I hadn't laughed since six years ago, it felt good.

He sensed my distress and shook his head, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I hugged him again, and he whispered into my ear, "I'll never leave you Max, never again."

And I smiled, a real one, one that only he knows. It was ours.

A/N: Oh, I have to admit this embarrassing thing... I cried when I wrote this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm emotional, deal with it! anyway tell me what you think. It's a one-shot from some Taylor Swift songs. I was inspired by them and yes I used some of the lyrics, some italicized words are lyrics to 'If This Was a Movie' by her. So I must give her credit. The last line I wrote, yes it was all me. It was not from Ours by Taylor Swift, just inspired by that song. If it was then... Look down.

Disclaimer: Yes I am a little late, but I need to put this down. I don't own anything that Taylor Swift wrote or anything that JP wrote, which is none of this story, well he wrote the characters... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

!R&R!

Dream Beyond Infinity

~.*People throw rocks at things that shine*.~

Taylor Swift