Chapter 1: Meeting
I am nowhere near perfect and I know it. You know in a group of friends there is this one person that everyone likes, that's so beautiful and popular? Well I am not that girl. There is also the perky one the cheerful cute one that you want to hug right? Well, I am not that one either. Or you think I am the smart one who is totally serious but still a total fun? I am not that girl either.
You might describe me of the oddball of the group, the person that always feels awkward around friends. The person that can't be classified except with a big fat DIFFERENT label on her back. I am the tomboy/nerdy girl you see the girl that seem to never fit in .The girl that hides something with her eyes but cover it up with a smile, and a couple of jokes so that people can laugh.
I believe in keeping people and arm-length distance away from me, so that I don't have to hurt them. Were still friends but the less they know about me the better they would be off. I hurt my friends even though I don't want to so that they don't stay really close to me. They don't get attached and they start to secretly hate my guts.
I've been staying like that for 3 years now. It hurts to be thought of as the evil one, the person that everyone hates, the person that has no feelings, the person's who heart doesn't beat, but I have to so I don't hurt does around me.
I can talk about how different I am, how bad I feel, how I never expect love… blablabla…. At least I know when to stop. I am here to talk to you about the time I fell in love.
You see school was about to start, and I came to school because I was suppose to orient the new kid. I cam in with my cousin, and you see I was not that happy. I was planning to pack my bags, and I was still in my silent state. In school I act like this brave, though girl while in real life I am super shy, and I can't talk to strangers. I didn't know who or how much students I was suppose to orient and I hope it would be quite a few so they could discuss between them while I just walk them around.
The day was ordinary, my cousin forced me to wear pink knowing pretty well I look horrible in pink, she was wearing a blue dress that was exactly the twin of my dress, and compared to her I look like a potato bag. So, I had breakfast in my mom's room and I could have lose control at anyone that got to close to me due to the fact I was getting my monthlies, and they always put me in a testy mood.
Trying my best not to think about the tiny speck of gore that was on my dress, which my mom and I wet the spot so it would not be seen, I climbed up the stairs to the library and looked for Ms. Conant my advisor. As usual the smell of the books always soothe my nerves even in their most moody moments. My cousin had wanted to come with me so that as usual I would just be a little dust in the wall, no one would realize I'm there but I was completely ok with it.
Ms. Susie spots me from the side of the room where I've pull one of my books and I had started reading completely forgetting that I had to orient a group of people, and tells me to come over. There is a guy standing near her, he looks totally obsessed with his phone. My cousin whispers that he is cute, but he seems arrogant. I don't say a word, because I never do.
The boy has an older woman with him, which I assume was his mother due to the fact that her hands were on his head. I got closer, and Ms. Susie presents the boy as Kevin. He looks up at the sound of his name and our gaze meet. My eyes lock themselves in his gaze daring him to continue looking at me, and he do. He seems to smile but he looks away after he says that he prefers being call K. I smile at that and I seem to be looking like a fool. I want to tell him my name is Beth and ask what he was listening to, but my sheepish attitude prevented me form doing it. He tries doing small talk, but all I can think of is how his eyes had held mine, and I wanted to just kill myself.
Even though it was supposed to be him and me only Ms. Susie and his mom didn't really let that happen, Ms. Susie followed us, and chatted the whole way so it was impossible for me to actually say stuff like, "Here is the canteen, Middle school eats outside, and high school inside." Which Ms. Susie said but ask me to explain, and all I could say was that the high school students are intimidating.
He smiles at this even though is not that funny, and Ms. Susie points out that I'm not usually that shy making everyone wonder why I'm sooooo shy. His eyes the colour of the sea in a storm look at me, and all I can do is shiver.