AN: To my old readers Hello again and welcome to the new ones.
I'm glad to be back with the Sequel to Nemo Est Soleus: No One is Alone. Warning: This will be a slight Torchwood Crossover but not enough to really ruin anything for you at this point… maybe later I might change that but for now… you're just going to meet some characters.
For those of you who didn't read it or for those of you who want a bit of a refresher I am going to give you the fastest summary that I think I can give of a 200k+ fic.
Rebecca, a 17 year old girl from a negligent home gets an internship through Oxford University on the recommendation of her professor River Song to study at an archaeological dig site. There, using her brains to help the Doctor defeat the Mantodea, she is invited about the TARDIS and the two then meet Rose. They continue their travels through time and space until she receives a call from home saying her father has died.
Upon his death, her mother tells her once the funeral is over to get her things out of the house and not to come back. Finding some boxes in the attic to pack with, Rebecca discovers she's adopted and along with all the adoption papers, she finds a pocket watch that seems broken but she keeps anyway as one of the only keys to her past. Once back aboard the TARDIS, the three continue traveling and Rebecca meets Jack Harkness and the two immediately hit it off and fall in love.
On satellite 5 in the Parting of Ways, Rebecca and Jack confess their love for each other only for Jack to be shot and killed by a Dalek, not before Rebecca holds him and sings a lullaby to him before he 'passes on'. Rose, the now regenerating Doctor and Rebecca leave to go back to London for Christmas.
Soon after the start of series 2 right after New Earth and Rebecca being flirted with by the Face of Boe. Rebecca rediscovers her pocket watch and shows the Doctor who makes her open it and shows her that she is really a Time Lady, the daughter of Rassilon. The three continue traveling and Rose and the Doctor get together, eventually getting engaged after discovering Rose wasn't aging anymore, thanks to the help of BAD WOLF.
However, nothing good seems to last and Rebecca hits her head during the events of Doomsday and Army of Ghosts as well as being shot by a Dalek and her regeneration cycle seems to not be working properly so the Doctor transforms her back into a Human using the Chameleon Arc. Not long after he and Rose are separated, a whole universe apart and that leads us to here.
Without further ado, Here is the First Chapter of Finding Your Way Back Home:
Chapter One: Always Starting Over
The carillon at Oxford rang out, proclaiming the time was nine a.m. that cool September morning when Rebecca found herself in a strange bed. She untangled herself from the throw blanket she was wrapped in and looked around at the blank cream walls that made up the room she was in. She sat up and rolled her shoulders back before stretching out her tight muscles. She saw her phone and her journal on the end table as well as her art supplies in the corner of the room, stacked neatly in a crate. This definitely wasn't Rose's flat and it definitely wasn't the TARDIS
"What the hell?" she muttered getting out of bed and padding over to the window where she drew the curtains back to reveal the quiet bustle of Oxford. She blinked a few times to make sure she was seeing it correctly before picking up her journal and seeing a note fall out.
She quickly picked up the note and began scanning it.
Read from New Year's forward. I'm so, so sorry.
"Sorry for what?" she asked herself before plopping back on the bed with her journal and starting where the Doctor had instructed her to begin. She tore through the pages of her journal, seeing her own life as if it were someone else's story. She sat there staring at the pages desperate to understand why she couldn't remember any of this. Then she arrived at the last entry which was written in someone else's hand. The Doctors.
She read an explanation of all the events that had happened at Canary Wharf from his perspective although he seemed a bit unclear on quite a few things having not been there himself to experience. But he deducted what he could and told her the story of how he and Rose were two star-crossed lovers now separated by a universe and how he once more was the last of the Time Lords.
I have the watch. I'll return it to you should our paths ever cross again. But being a time lord is a curse Rebecca. You watch everyone you love die until there's nothing and no one left…
Several tear-stained pages later, Rebecca read his final notes on what he had done.
Welcome to Oxford where your timeline would've always lead you eventually. I've gotten you set up with everything you need. Welcome to your new flat. Rent is taken care of for well… until you decide you want to move. Your timetable of classes is on your desk with all of your books, a laptop and keys to your TARDIS blue mini, the car you always wanted. There's a bank card and a credit card and there's a number for Kate Stewart, a researcher for UNIT. You know you're gonna be bored with just classes. Give her a ring. The position is already available for you. All you need to do is call. And if you don't within the next month, UNIT will come looking for you because they'll think you've gone into a depressive funk.
Be fantastic Rebecca. I know you will be. Prove me right.
Her eyes brimming with tears, Rebecca set the book down and took a few deep breaths before she struggled to fight back the tears. It only took a few minutes until her resolve broke and the tears came streaming down her cheeks, mascara smudging, leaving a sorrowful black trail behind it.
Rebecca had felt alone many times before in her life… but she had never felt quite as lonely as she did those first few days at Oxford. That first night she laid in bed restless, tossing and turning, jumping with every creak, the tick of the clock haunting her. She must've double checked that she locked the flat's door a dozen times, that all the windows were closed and locked, the blinds drawn that she would be safe. Something she hadn't had to worry about in a while.
The next few days passed slow as molasses. She moved from place to place silently without much interest, picking up groceries, eating meals in the silence of her empty flat. She explored the libraries at Oxford and brought her textbooks along for the ride, she would read and outline for hours that week before classes began.
The first day of classes, Rebecca stared at herself in the mirror for a few minutes and marveled at how defined her cheekbones had become, how sunken in her features and how dull her eyes looked. She found a box with all of her cosmetics in it and caked foundation onto her face and outlined her eyes in the fifty-first century eye liner she and Rose loved.
Just thinking of her best friend made the tears an eminent threat once more. She brushed back the tears with her pointer finger and stared at herself in the mirror for another moment.
Wake up Rebecca. You can't mope over them forever. Not Jack, Not Rose and Not Doc. Put on some make up and get ready to face the world. Put on your personal war paint. She reached into her closet and forced herself to look past all the black that she wanted to wear to show her mourning and picked out a cranberry blouse and a navy cardigan, a pair of jeans, and a pair of boots. She put on some lipstick and forced herself to smile in the mirror.
God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light."
She prayed, grabbing her books and her timetable, slinging her tote-bag over her shoulder and headed out the door of her flat and down to her first class; Introduction to World Archaeology.
Her class was small only containing twenty people or so. The same twenty people she'd have in all of her classes due to the small exclusivity of the program. It was a surprise however when Professor Anthony Williams was not the one who showed up but instead, Professor River Song took over.
"Sorry sweeties, Professor Williams is ill today so I'm just here to be going over the syllabus with you." Rebecca stared jaw dropped for a moment before quickly settling into taking notes on the syllabus River had handed her.
"Professor, fancy seeing you here," Rebecca said at the end of the class once everyone else had left.
"How many times do I need to tell you it's River?" she said before bringing the younger girl into a hug. "It's good to see you sweetie. You look better than I expected."
"What are you expecting?"
"A bit more tired, less bright eyed, more mournful you."
"You almost did see that, I put on enough makeup to cover the models at fashion week this morning and purposely decided against black."
"Good choice. The boy three seats behind you thought you looked hot." Rebecca let out a small laugh, the first time she'd laughed in weeks.
"Doesn't matter, not interested."
"He's not your type anyway. Too skinny, and sounds like his balls haven't dropped yet." Rebecca fought back a laugh but let it escape.
"That's the Rebecca I like to see… the happy one. It's a good look on you sweetie."
"Enough about me… what about you? How are you doing?"
"Can't complain. I'm just helping out my little brother with his classes and I'm here to give you your new timetable. It's a bit cramped I'm sorry." River handed her a new sheet of paper with a list of times on it.
"This can't be right, all my classes on Mondays?"
"UNIT contacted the school and under special circumstances separate sections of the classes have been added so you can do all your classes one day a week and work for them the rest of it."
"I haven't even called UNIT yet for my job. Who says I even want it?"
"You will sweetie. It may not seem like the greatest of jobs but trust me when I say that your path would not be nearly as good without it."
"You can see timelines?" Rebecca asked surprised. "I just assumed that you were from my future."
"Bit of both… Spoilers. Tell you what, come round for some wine to my place tomorrow night after your first day of work."
"I haven't even talked to UNIT I don't have a job yet River."
"Soon sweetie… I'd give it twenty seconds." And as if on cue Rebecca's cellphone began to ring.
"You've got to be kidding me," Rebecca said as she grabbed the phone from her purse and answered.
"Rebecca Goodman."
"Hello, this is Kate Stewart from the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce research division. We-"
"I know who you are; the Doctor mentioned that I'd be hearing from you soon if I didn't get in contact with you guys first. I just assumed that when he said within a month, I'd actually have a month before I'd have to start over again."
"I'm sorry, the Doctor left me specific instructions to call you today at this time."
"Figures," Rebecca said with a roll of her eyes. "This is a research position? What kind of research am I expected to do?"
"It's a lot of reverse engineering from fallen pieces of technology. See why and how it failed. But of course there are ways of expansion. We have an unfinished sonic technology project that we were told you could possibly shed some light on. We'd love to have you come in as soon as possible."
"How does tomorrow sound?" Rebecca asked with a sigh.
"Absolutely perfect. Professor Song has all the information with her. Thank you so much Ms. Goodman! I'll see you tomorrow morning at the Tower."
"Tower?" Rebecca went to ask but discovered she had been hung up on.
"Kate's office is in the Tower of London sweetie."
"London? But that's what, two hours away?"
"About. The train would get you there only a few minutes faster. I'd just drive."
"I'm still not that used to driving on the left side of the road. Y'all are weird. The rest of the world goes to the right side."
"It's tradition." River said with an eye-roll. "Did you not pay attention during cultural anthropology?" She teased.
"Maybe I would have if my teacher were competent." She teased back. She smiled sadly, remembering her old life and River pulled her into a hug.
"Everything's gonna be okay sweetie. Now as promised, information on the new job and my address so we can pour ourselves some Pinot tomorrow."
"I'll drink to that," she said, glancing down at her watch. "Crap, now I have to get to class."
"Here, spinach salad, strawberries, sliced chicken, almonds, mango in a ginger vinaigrette."
"You're giving me your lunch?"
"No, I knew this would happen so I obviously got myself some mac and cheese in a pick two combo at the café down the street. So off you pop. Tomorrow, wine my flat."
"See you River!"
"See you sweetie." Rebecca rushed off to her next three classes and returned later to her flat exhausted and read over the information about her new job at UNIT thoroughly before showering and heading to bed for a night of fitful sleep.
She awoke early and pulled out some more professional looking clothes, grabbing a black dress, a blazer and a pair of pumps, putting on some makeup and grabbing a briefcase from the closet. She slung the bag over her shoulder and trekked to her car at six thirty that morning to make sure she was at her job by nine.
Her two hour car ride was made only slightly better by the recording of an Opera she had seen back in Paris, the same opera she had seen with Jack for her eighteenth birthday when they discovered the Phantom of the Opera. She let out a sigh and sang the mournful laments of the leading lady in the heavy rush hour traffic.
She arrived at the address and pulled up to a set of gates.
"Badge," a soldier said.
"Sorry, I-I don't have one yet. Today is my first day."
"Name."
"Rebecca Goodman," she said. The soldier checked her name off a clipboard and allowed her in. She parked her mini-cooper and shut off the ignition glancing at herself in the mirror and allowing herself a few deep breaths. She reapplied her lipstick and then stepped out of the car with her briefcase and walked toward the building.
She pushed opened the door and listened as her heels clicked against the tiled floors contrasting against the nearly silent steps of the soldiers in their shoes. She stopped at the front desk.
"Hi, I'm here to see Kate Stewart."
"Take a seat," the young woman at the desk told her.
"Don't bother! Good morning Rebecca!" Kate said coming up beside her dressed in a suit. Kate quickly began to show Rebecca around the building, getting her an Identification badge, and showing her the various training facilities.
"Why do you have so many military personnel here?" Rebecca asked her. "There can't possibly be that much alien activity going around central London."
"If it even resembles alien in any way we have to send troops out and you'd be surprised how many times we have to. My father used to run this place. He worked with the Doctor many times."
"The Doctor never mentioned that but the Doctor never mentioned much about his past." Rebecca said thinking about her best friend.
"Speaking of the Doctor, unless you want to get your ear talked off and be bombarded with questions about him, do not mention the fact that you know him in front of Malcolm."
"Malcolm?"
"Dr. Malcolm Taylor, brilliant researcher, a tad eccentric, and a fan boy of the Doctor's. Can't wait to meet him. I'm sure it'll happen one day but until then he just bothers everyone who does know him or has met him with questions."
"Lovely," Rebecca said a bit sarcastically and Kate laughed.
"You do need to meet him though. He'll be working in the lab with you quite frequently."
"Alright then, anything else?"
"He's named measurements after himself…."
"He… he what?"
"I don't quite understand it but, Malcolm has named this wave parcel thing after himself calling it a Malcolm."
"Oh lord. Alright, this'll be an interesting experience." Rebecca pushed her door open into the lab to discover a middle aged Welshman reading a case file.
"Hello, Dr. Taylor. I'm Rebecca Goodman and I'm going to be working with you."
"Hello! Ms. Goodman it is an honor to work with any of the companions of the Doctor. It is a complete privilege."
"Who told you?"
"No one, I read the file about the incident on Downing Street."
"I'm in the records?"
"Of course, so is Rose Tyler, Harriet Jones, and Indra Ga-"
"Oh… of course," Rebecca stopped him. "I'm only human like you Malcolm." Partial lie. "Just an average nineteen year old girl." Also partial lie. "No need to get so excited."
"Wait, why do we have a child working in the lab Kate? What are her qualifications?" Malcolm asked.
"Nineteen is legally an adult. I can vote, get married and in this country I can have a drink. So please don't call me a child."
"She comes with recommendations from the Doctor himself." Malcolm shook his head a bit and walked over to a piece of metal.
"Any idea what that is, Malcolm?" Kate asked.
"Looks a bit like a fuel injector."
"It's an instrument." Rebecca told them, having seen the same one inside of Henry Van Statten's museum in 2012.
"How'd you know that?"
"I've played it before. Here," she picked it up and started playing her lullaby.
"How much technology can you identify?" Malcolm asked her.
"A fair amount, I certainly haven't see everything."
"Can we put her in the archives then? We have so many things that she could identify!" Malcolm said excitedly.
"Oh now I'm wanted?" Rebecca murmured and Kate shot her a look.
"Yes, but that is not what she was hired for. She was hired to continue Toshiko's work on the sonic modulator."
"I have to confess Kate, I know much of the theory behind sonic technology but I've never actually worked with its engineering." Rebecca told her uneasily.
"Well most of the engineering is done for you, it just needs some tweaking." Kate explained. "Malcolm, show her station, remind her that she does have a lunch break and under no circumstances, are you to ask about the Doctor!"
"But-"
"No buts, Malcolm. Leave the girl alone. She's been through enough." Rebecca sighed at that. It was very true and starting over here less than a week after her life had been uprooted and turned on its head, wasn't exactly comforting.
"So here is your lab station… if you need more room or anything… feel free to move around and take anything you need. The stuff for the sonic modulator is in the back. If you need anything just ask…and we normally take lunch around oneish if that's alright. I'll show you the cafeteria or I could a recommend a few places down the road."
"Thanks… Malcolm." She said setting her briefcase down on a desk and grabbing a labcoat off the hook, pulling it on before grabbing a spare clipboard and taking notes on her findings and examining the work her predecessor had left behind.
"Malcolm? I have a question." She asked calling him over. "Toshiko wrote in shorthand that I'm not familiar with. Do you understand it?"
"No, I'm afraid I don't. I can see if Kate can authorize a trip for you to see her though. This is all very classified. Can't talk about it over the phone."
"The UN doesn't have secure phone lines or video chats?"
"We thought it was secure until your friend easily hacked our system from a home computer with no specific hacking training."
"Ah… fair point. I'll talk to her about it." Rebecca continued her research and found that she actually enjoyed getting her hands on some alien tech, if only to serve as a distraction. She took her lunch break with Malcolm who she could tell was struggling to not ask any questions about the Doctor so she instead pestered him with questions about his work and the so called famous unit he had named after himself which he explained in great detail.
After a full day of work she retired to River's well decorated flat that overlooked the whole university where the two gossiped and indulged in a bottle of Pinot and some good Chinese takeout. When she sure that she was clear headed enough to drive, Rebecca retired back to her flat and repeated her day at UNIT working there, Tuesday through Saturday, Sunday being her own personal day of rest and schoolwork and then Monday was her day at Oxford.
Rebecca soon fell into a routine, School, work, work, work, work, work, homework only to return to school the next day. Before she knew it, Rebecca was nearly finished with her first semester of university.
"Do you need time off to study for exams Rebecca? I could arrange that." Kate asked her.
"One day wouldn't be bad, but I think that I'm going to do fine. I've managed perfect scores the whole semester without having more than a day to do all my work."
"That's our girl. After finals do you want to switch to a Monday through Friday schedule?"
"Is that okay?"
"Anything is fine. Hell, if you told me you wanted to work for 72 hours straight once a week I'd probably let you."
"I'm only human Kate, I do need some sleep at some point." Rebecca said sadly. She was only human. That was never a bad thing. Humans were brilliant, but it wasn't what Rebecca was. She was Time Lord and to her it wasn't superiority that made her want to be a Time Lord. There was nothing superior about them, just differences. No it was the fact that she felt uncomfortable in her own skin with who she had reverted to being.
"Speaking of being only human, I'm so sorry that it's taken nearly four months for me to get your trip to Cardiff approved."
"It's been approved?"
"Finally, yes. It'll be in about a month at the start of the New Year. It's easier than trying to cram it into the end of year report. We booked you a hotel and you'll be compensated for meals and transportation, whether you chose to fly, take the train or drive."
"I'll think about it. Thanks Kate. I'll see you Tuesday."
"No, you have off Tuesday to celebrate the fact that you're done with your first semester in university. Do something you've been putting off like shopping or sight-seeing or reading that book on your shelf."
"You're sure?"
"I'll call you in if I need you. Go have fun. Good luck on your exams." Rebecca left with a smile and when Monday came she took all of her exams on by the horns and was free from school work for a while. She decided with her free day to go Christmas Shopping and to finally see the one site in London she had been completely avoiding. The Canary Wharf Memorial. It had gone up not long after she had arrived at Oxford but she never had time or enough will power to go…
So how she found herself three blocks away at a florist picking up a bouquet of pink and yellow roses in December's chill, came as a surprise to her. She walked down to the memorial, her heels clicking in time and she stood in front of the gray expanse of marble in front of her, hundreds of names etched into it and she found Rose and Jackie's names and she could feel the tears threatening to fall. She traced the letters of their names with her bare finger tips, feeling the biting cold of the marble. She felt like she had to say something, a goodbye of sorts. She was at a loss for words and then suddenly a poem she had once heard came to mind.
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
Rebecca realized she was no longer talking about Rose or the Doctor but about Jack. In her mind it had only been about six months, in reality about a year and a half and it stung to know that she would never get see his smiling face again.
"That was beautiful," a Welshman said coming up behind her, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
"W.H. Auden, Funeral Blues." She answered turning to face him. "It felt fitting."
"It is. I feel the same. The world kept spinning even they were gone and you wish it had stopped…"
"Exactly. I mean for me… my whole life was uprooted and I had to start all over and had to learn to fall asleep alone, silence the ticking of clocks instead of the beat of someone's heart, to pull the shades at night and to make sure my door was locked so I felt safe again."
"And you had to learn to speak calmly like everything was okay when you just wanted to scream and shout and make it known that they were gone and that it wasn't okay!" The man agreed.
"And everything is different and you learn to appreciate those little quiet wins, when you can have a day with no unprompted tears and you stop counting the seconds and minutes and hours and days that you're alone as they go by and they fade into years. And before I had always been so independent, but with them, I felt…strong too. Like I could take on the world at any time and they would have my back… now it's just… just me."
"You can still take on the world I'm sure," the man told her and she smiled sadly at him. "I mean you kept going. You started over like you said and not everyone can cope. They cling on."
"It's true. But you… you just learn to live without. It's not like you ever achieve closure… you just learn to live with love and loss." Suddenly a shiver ripped through her.
"You're freezing. C'mon let's go get you warmed up. Coffee yeah?" Rebecca nodded and followed the man to a local coffee shop where they ordered their drinks.
"Can I get your name love?" the Barista asked her.
"Rebecca." She told him
"And your's mate?" the barista nodded to the man.
"Ianto." He said simply.
"Nice to put a name to the face," Rebecca said.
"Likewise." The two sat down with their coffees and then looked at each other and Rebecca giggled.
"What's funny?" Ianto asked her and she shrugged.
"We know so much about each other's feelings of darkness but nothing about anything else. Like what do you do for a living or where you're from?"
"Well I work for the government in Cardiff and I grew up in the Welsh countryside. You're obviously from America."
"Not necessarily I was adopted but I was raised in America… I currently live in Oxford and work in London."
"One hell of a commute I'll say."
"It's a pain…yes…but my flat's paid up so I'm not seeing a point in moving. I attend school in Oxford too so it's nice to be right there by the library and such."
"Sounds nice… I'm practically married to my job… not that there's anything wrong with it… it's just… a year ago I'd probably picture myself as possibly marrying someone and not being married to being a personal assistant a good portion of the time."
"I understand completely…" Rebecca nodded. "It's a miracle I come home most days, always working." And then suddenly her phone rang. She glanced at it. Kate Stewart
"Speaking of which…" she murmured. "It's my boss. Just a sec'" She clicked accept and brought her cell to her ear.
"Goodman."
"Rebecca, its Kate. We've had a small accident in the lab. I'm not sure what Malcolm's done to himself and I think that you would have a better idea than I would as to what's wrong. Are you anywhere close to London?"
"I'm at Canary Wharf. I'll be there soon." She sighed. She turned to Ianto and smiled at him sadly. "I hate to cut this short but apparently my lab director was in an accident and no one seems to know what he's working on so I have to go check it out. You said you live in Cardiff right?"
"Yes, I do."
"Well I'm actually visiting next month for business. Maybe we could do dinner and catch up…" she suggested, before slapping herself in the forehead. "That sounded really forward. I'm sorry… I'm not coming onto you…not that you aren't worthy or something because you seem like a very nice bloke and you're very attractive and if situations were different I'd probably be very interested in you but I'm gonna shut up now because I'm babbling."
Ianto let out a small laugh and just pulled a business card from the inner pocket of his suit and handed it to her. "Yes, that'd be lovely. That's my direct line so you'll get me."
"Good. Wait… here's my number." She pulled a piece of paper out of her bag and scribbled her cell phone number on it and her name with a smiley face.
"Great. We'll talk and plan. It was a pleasure meeting you."
"Likewise Ianto. Farewell." And with a final wave, Rebecca ran out into the street and back towards her Mini Cooper, which she fondly nicknamed Allonso for some odd reason.
She soon found herself in the UNIT Parking lot with a soldier immediately escorting her to the labs.
"Any idea of what happened to Malcolm?"
"No ma'am, he's apparently unconscious." The soldier told her as the navigated the halls.
"How long has he been out?"
"Thirty seven minutes." Kate told her coming out of the door of the lab. "Security saw him collapse and sent help." Rebecca nodded and went over to Malcolm's work station and saw the sonic modulator.
"Kate, I thought there was a strict Malcom doesn't touch the sonic stuff rule because he doesn't understand it."
"Yes, but you're usually here to enforce it." She said with a raised eyebrow. Rebecca put on a pair of thick flame retardant gloves and looked at the modulator.
"Is he really that thick?" she said after a moment examining it. Kate raised an eyebrow. Rebecca pulled her gloves off. "Nevermind this is Malcolm we're talking about. He knocked himself out. Put himself to sleep. The setting he has is used to induce Delta Waves which occur during stage 3 and 4 of the sleep cycle, so he's not unconscious… he's actually asleep. He should be up in about an hour"
"How'd you know what setting does what?"
"I…I don't know. I just do."
"Well, whatever it was, I'm glad we figured it out. Sorry to interrupt you on your day off."
"It's all right Kate. If you don't mind, I'd like to go home and get some rest," Rebecca said. Kate nodded at her and gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
"I know where you were and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your losses. I realize that this must be very hard for you. If you ever need someone to talk to or a friend just know that I am here for you."
"Thanks Kate. I'm glad to know I'm not alone." Rebecca sighed, wishing Kate had offered this aid earlier on but thankful none the less. She grabbed her bag and went back to her car, driving up to Oxford to settle in for a quiet night at home. She drove back and had settled in for the night when suddenly her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Ianto from before… I got back up to work to grab some things and then my co-worker said that when a girl gives you her number, you're supposed to call it and make sure it's not a fake."
"Sounds like he gets turned down a lot. Also why would I give you a fake number when I'm the one who asked you for dinner?"
"That's what my boss said. Owen's just a bit pessimistic when it comes to women I suppose. Some days I think he's the world's largest playboy and then others I think he couldn't get a girl if he tried."
"It happens, we all have our off days."
"Not my boss. Biggest flirt in the universe."
"I knew someone like that." Rebecca said sadly thinking of Jack.
"Was everything alright at work? You seemed to be rushed before."
"My lab manager knocked himself out working with some equipment. He slept it off, he'll be fine other than having hell to pay when I yell at him for touching equipment he's not allowed to and for ruining my first real day off in the past four months."
"I'd be very afraid if I were him."
"Nah, I'm not that scary when I'm angry." She told him and the two continued chattering on later into the night before saying goodbye.
Christmas was on her before she knew it and Rebecca spent her Christmas eve in her lab pensive, staring off into space, lost in memories.
"Rebecca?" Kate called out. "I think we've spotted him."
"Spotted who?"
"The Doctor. Well, spotted isn't the best term but we've reports of a flying blue police box and killer robotic Christmas trees."
"He's definitely involved. Is there anything we can do?"
"The reports are from differing areas. Last time the TARDIS was spotted was near Peckham though. Anything of importance there?"
"Rose's flat was there." Rebecca said sadly, thinking back to her last Christmas which had been spent there. "But she's gone now."
"I'll keep you updated if anything else is brought to my attention."
"Thanks Kate." Rebecca said gathering her lab materials together.
"You're out of it. Go home early. It's Christmas eve."
"It's not like I have anyone to really spend it with. All I really have are memories."
"Then think of the times of old, before things went wrong. But do not dwell."
"Thanks Kate." Rebecca grabbed her things and drove back to Oxford, only stopping at a bakery to pick up a cupcake.
"Happy Birthday Doc." She whispered when she got back to her place with the Banana cupcake. "I hope that wherever you are you're happy and you're safe. I know you're doing something crazy right now but it would be my Christmas wish if you came back. I just… I just want my best friends back."
She played some Christmas music on the upright piano she had purchased for the small flat and then played her lullaby thinking of Jack when her phone rang.
"I'm not quite sure what he's done but he's dried up the Thames. We also had to shoot down a ship." Kate told her.
"Imagine the explanation we're going to have to come up with for that." Rebecca said with a groan. "Yes, the Thames was dried up in the middle of December because of a solar flare, at night, on Christmas Eve. Last Christmas we had blood control, this year it was only a space ship that was blown up over London. Yes it'll go over splendidly."
"Actually the Thames emptying we can explain with these pipes we have to prevent floods, we can say the flood draining tunnels were accidentally opened, which is what we're going to assume the Doctor had something to do with. You're going to have a field day with the space ship parts once they're salvaged later this week."
"Malcolm's gonna wet his pants with excitement."
"That's not far from the truth." Kate laughed. "Alright I'm going to go spend Christmas with my children. I'll see you when you come in next on Boxing Day."
"No, I'm actually working tomorrow. Someone's needed in the laboratory every day. Since Malcolm actually has a family I told him I'd take the Christmas Shift, especially since I'm going to Cardiff right after the New Year and he's gonna have to work an extra day since I'll be gone on one of my shifts where I'm by myself."
"You're a good person Rebecca, never change. I'll see you in two days! Have fun sifting through debris."
"Oh I will." Rebecca said sarcastically before hanging up her phone. She stared at it and began looking through her contacts wondering if she should call her mother and wish her a merry Christmas before she went to mass. She was scrolling through her contacts when she passed 'Doctor'.
"I wonder…" She stared at the call button for a moment before deciding to do it, hitting the green button and holding it to her ear.
It rang, which in itself gave her hope because it meant that he hadn't disconnected her completely. But after six rings it went to voicemail.
"You've reached the Doctor…."
"AND TEAM TARDIS!" She heard Rose laugh in the background after her outburst.
"And team TARDIS," he amended. "Please leave your name, emergency, location and date and we'll try and get to you as soon as possible." And then suddenly it beeped.
"Doc, it's… It's me. Happy Christmas and Happy Birthday. I'm sitting alone in my flat, wondering how on Earth you drained the Thames but am slightly in awe of it…. I miss you… and traveling. I'm working for UNIT and being Fantastic like you told me to be… but it's not the same… come back and don't travel alone, okay? You need someone… and I'm available if you'll take me back… Love you Doc…" and she hung up with tears in her eyes.
A few minutes later she gathered the strength to call her adopted mother and wish her well despite several poison like remarks being shot back at her throughout the call. She however maintained her composure and held her tongue. She hung up the phone and then wondered…Jack…
But she couldn't bring herself to hit the call button for him. He was dead. And if by some miracle he did answer, she had no idea what she could say. It's been two years and I still miss you every day. The pain of losing you never went away, it just got a little easier to deal with and is no longer constantly crippling and maybe at some point I'll be able to move on but I still love all of you. It didn't quite roll off the tongue so she settled in with a cup of egg nog and a book called "Game of Thrones" and spent her night alone.
Christmas Day was much the same with UNIT being nearly empty for the holiday and just sifting through debris like Kate had warned her. Her most interesting finding was an abundant amount of spider silk which she found odd but not incredibly surprising if it were of Alien origin since she had met the empress of the Mantodea.
After eating her bagged lunch, she called River and wished her a Happy Christmas.
"What are your plans for the holiday River?"
"Christmas Dinner with my parents, grandparents, Tony, the husband, his brother and his wife… the whole gang. I'd invite you but… it's a bit complicated."
"Sounds crowded and besides Christmas is family time. I wouldn't want to take you away from yours."
"What're you doing?"
"Investigating the space ship blown up over London last night…"
"Ah… the Racnoss ship."
"So that's the type of Alien they are? Thanks. Racnoss as in
'rac'… as in Arachnid? That would explain all the spider silk."
"Yeah that'd be it. Just wait for next Christmas… It's sure to be interesting. I can give you that." Rebecca smiled.
"Don't suppose you can tell me where I'll be in my life by next Christmas?"
"Happy. A lot happier than you are now… and not alone." River said.
"Sounds wonderful." She sighed with a smile. "Just thought I'd call and say hello. Merry Christmas River."
"You too sweetie." With that she hung up and decided… Ianto was spending his first Christmas without his loved one… and it would be hard and he'd probably need the comfort.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Ianto? It's Rebecca…from Canary Wharf… I just… I know today's your first Christmas without her… and I figured it'd be hard. I know mine was granted it had only been a day but… still I just wanted to call and check on you… see if you needed a friend."
"I'm… I'm doing okay actually… I'm working... Sad isn't it?"
"I am too. Gave the people with families a chance to spend it with them. I've got no one here so it worked out well for everyone else."
"I could've gone to my sisters… but we're not very close. Didn't really want to be there with my brother-in-law… he's a bit of a wanker." Rebecca giggled. "But he's family. What can you do? You have any siblings?"
"I'm adopted and don't get along with my adopted mother. She hated me from the start. I was sort of a replacement since their own children died and I didn't fill the void in the way they hoped… but their negligence made me who I am today… guess it's not too bad."
"That's a good way to look at it I suppose… not the best life but you make the most of it"
"I'd drink to that." Rebecca said causing Ianto to laugh.
A
"Well we'll drink to it when you come visit Cardiff for your trip next month. I'm excited to see you again."
"Me too, It'll be such a nice change of scene."
"Week and a half right?"
"Yeah my trip is on the second and I'll be arriving mid-morning. My consultation appointment is at 11:45 that morning."
"I'd suggest we grab lunch but I have an appointment at that time as well."
"Dinner'll have to do. Besides I prefer dinner to lunch any day."
"Why? Drinking is acceptable at dinner?"
"Well that's not my reasoning for it but I just prefer foods that you tend to eat at dinner. I love pasta and its more acceptable at Dinner for some reason. I like evening anyway. More to talk about as in what happened throughout the day."
"All valid reasons. I'm quite fond of brunch. I love breakfast food."
"I'm not big on breakfast food. Probably because I ate it a lot growing up. I cooked for myself a lot and I didn't know how to make much when I was younger so I made a lot of eggs and cereal. I can cook a wide variety of food now but I don't think I knew how to cook anything other than those two things until I was maybe twelve."
"Didn't your adopted parents worry about you burning yourself?"
"They didn't care about me much at all. Which is whatever. Self sufficient is my middle name." Ianto laughed a little when suddenly the call seemed interrupted.
"Rebecca? I have to go something came up at work and I'm needed. Happy Christmas. I'll call you later in the week so we can work out the details for dinner."
"Of course Ianto. Happy Christmas, Be Well."
And suddenly the rest of her week began to fly by, days filled with work and nights filled with attempts to decipher notes on the sonic modulator and reading.
New Year's Eve she spent alone in her flat with a bottle of Champagne and her journal and the thought of forming a New Year's Resolution to keep moving forward and not get stuck living in the past.
"To Always Starting Over." She said to herself before drinking her champagne and ringing in the New Year with thoughts of Jack and a song playing on her iPod from 2014 played and the lyrics fit perfectly.
And my love our life is over
But love I'll make you one last vow.
To start over and over somehow.
My new life starts right now.
AN: No Jack yet But soon. Very soon. Polyvore is updated for those of you who remember it exists. I do. I update it frequently. And um… yeah… I hope you all enjoyed it and that you review, favorite and follow.
Happy Holidays!
Emma