Disclaimer: I revoke any claims that I actually own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Not sure when I claimed that I did, but I guess I'd better put that on here. The title comes from Jack's Mannequin. That's all. I own pretty much everything else.
A/N: The fact that nothing's capitalized is stylistic (I actually know my grammar and spelling rules and all that jazz, thank you very much) because I think that it looks cool. *shrug* DemigodWithTheBread requested some Percy/Thalia, and I hope that you enjoy it dear. If you don't I can always write you another one, (maybe less angsty next time?). Many thanks to iscreamdrizzle for betaing this! I appreciate it very much. :)
This is kind of but not really an AU for Titan's Curse. I dunno. Reviews are appreciated and I hope that you all enjoy. (I also hope that the Percabeth fangirls don't kill me. I love Percabeth and Thuke too! This is a request ((and it was fun))!)
Memories Like Bullets
it's not going to work. she knows it and he knows it but neither of them really care. the two of them together are like a lightning bolt hitting a swimming pool; it's dangerous for everyone inside. but neither of them can get out no matter how hard they tried.
they're too alike. acid plus acid equals more melting and throbbing, more black charred messes left over in the morning. this thing, it's going to destroy them.
(but annabeth's dead and they both know it, they saw them take her, and she's the whole reason that they're even together anyway. his heart is annabeth's but the rest of him is thalia's and even though thalia knows that she decides to ignore it and thankfully grabs whatever he will give her.)
...
the only thing stronger than missing the girl that they both love is this.
she comes silently and he can never hear her feet make the snow crunch. she can get inside his cabin and then out again without alerting the harpies. no one ever catches her and it is only the ring that she forgot to pick up one time that lets him know that she's real and not a ghost that visits him nightly.
he knows that this isn't right. that just because annabeth's gone it doesn't mean that they can do this. she realizes that maybe her feelings aren't as clear as they should be. she loves luke, she has even when she was a tree, but he's not here and he's evil and percy's here and he's confused but sweet.
so every night she picks up her clothes and leaves as inaudibly as she can and he pretends that he doesn't feel guilty every night and that when he sees thalia he thinks annabeth.
sometimes only broken halves can make up a whole.
...
but then they get evidence that annabeth actually is alive and luke has her and is holding her hostage. chiron sends thalia and percy and grover on the quest together and neither thalia or percy can look each other in the eye.
grover pretends that he can't feel the conflicts that the two of them have underneath their skin and they both try to talk to each other normally but they can't do it.
(they all try and live behind the curtain because it's better than being bare and angry and broken.)
"you know," percy says on the second day of the quest to thalia, "i just want to say that i'm sorry."
"nothing to be sorry for," thalia replies, "i did it too, after all."
...
they meet the hunters on the fourth day of their quest and their lieutenant, zoe, just shakes her head at thalia.
thalia knows what she's thinking. it's the same exact thing that thalia thinks herself. pathetic. but she doesn't want to hear it from anyone, especially not a hunter of artemis. (they don't know what it's like to lie in the arms of a boy and know that he isn't thinking of you. they would never understand.)
when she and zoe are alone picking up firewood thalia tells her, "don't think that you're better than me. you're not."
"i know i'm not, but that boy does not love thee nor will he ever. don't delude yourself into thinking he will. thou has never been able to think when it comes to boys."
"you don't know anything."
"i know enough to tell thee that thee always love boys who will never love thee back. heroes will get nowhere with you, thalia. you'll always be alone."
...
they find annabeth and when she and percy reunite they hug with such force that it's all thalia can do not to turn around. it's kind of like a car crash, you know that you shouldn't look, that all the sight is going to do is make a piece of you die inside, but you can't tear your eyes off it.
this is how thalia feels looking at the two of them.
percy can't look her in the eye afterwards, but annabeth hugs thalia as soon as she's done enveloping percy in her arms and the guilt that makes thalia burn inside is almost lit into a fire. instead she hugs the girl that was betrayed back tightly, as if her tears of joy can wash away her sins.
they ride back to olympus together and thalia sits on her pegasus alone and wishes that her father would just smite her out the sky.
but he doesn't of course and she has to watch the gods decide whether or not to kill them. it's enough to make thalia cry. (percy&annabeth, the soul mates forever and ever and ever, hold hands and talk in hushed voices, not even thinking that maybe, just maybe, thalia'd like some comfort too.)
she goes to artemis after the party and she decides to pledge herself to the goddess.
(what's being rejected one more time?)
artemis just looks at her, because she knows that thalia's intentions are less than pure, but she accepts thalia's offer because in her sister she sees something that's most like herself.
(it's not the broken heart or the screwed up mind, but that special kind of strength that only the ones that have been irrevocably changed can have.)
...
thalia's sworn off of boys forever (good riddance and she's glad) and now no one can tell her that they don't want her anymore. let luke kill people in her name and percy to pretend that she never existed.
for once thalia is going to live for something bigger than her needs and her desires and the needs and desires of others.
sometimes the other hunters look at her (zoe especially, she looks at her with something like triumph in her eyes because she knew all alongbut thalia mostly ignores her) and she can see that they know that she's an exception to the rules that they've all chosen to live by.
(but thalia can deal with that, because it's nothing compared to the life that she left behind.)