Title: The Third Wheel
Word count: 4052
Characters: Finn, Puck, Rachel, Quinn, Drizzle (sorta)
Rating: R - language and some sexual content (no actual sex this time, but I think I'm getting back on board the Finn/Rachel wagon)
Spoilers: AU from Preggers, but takes into account events from all aired episodes
Summary: Finn really believes that there's something going on there. He hasn't seen Puck throw Kurt or really anyone in the dumpster lately. The only slushy he has bought are the coke-flavoured ones that he drinks.
Author's Note: Written along side with my Puck/Rachel series (Strangely entitled "A series of events" because I am crappy at thinking up titles after the fact)... THERE! IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN.
Feedback is love! Please leave some! :)
Finn really believes that there's something going on there.
He hasn't seen Puck throw Kurt or really anyone in the dumpster lately. The only slushy he's bought are the coke-flavoured ones that he drinks.
His friend's attitude has changed. Like he's not really Puck anymore, but, like, some angel or something possessing Puck's body (Yeah, he's been watching a lot of "Supernatural," so what?).
Sometimes Finn thinks about asking him what's going on but he's known Puck since Puck's family moved from Texas to Ohio ten years earlier. Why the hell would anyone want to move from Texas, the most kickass place on Earth, to Ohio, the lamest, is beyond him. And if he asks, he's sure that Puck would tell him in very colourful language to stop being such a girl.
So he continues to stew quietly. Wondering what the fuck is up with his friend.
* * * * *
He sees Puck watching Rachel during one of the classes he attends – Puck isn't known for actually showing up to class – and he feels something. This churning in his stomach, but he doesn't understand why.
Rachel doesn't look back (at least).
When the bell rings to end class, Finn watches Puck's eyes slide up Rachel's legs pausing just below the point where her extremely short skirt meets her sweater. And the moment he realizes that he's staring at Rachel's ass he looks back to his best friend.
Puck has a sick looking smirk on his face that makes Finn want to punch him. Hard.
He's pretty sure that he should be thinking about Quinn. She is his girlfriend after all. But he finds himself thinking about Rachel a lot (and in the back of his mind he wonders if Puck is doing the same). Thinking about how his lips (and body) really had a mind of their own whenever she was around. How kissing her once wasn't enough (would never be enough), so he just had to kiss her again.
And with all the drama of Glee and Acafellas and everything, he's pretty stressed, and kissing Rachel would be a great stress reliever, but a lot like cheating and that's something he doesn't do (aside from that other time he kissed Rachel).
* * * * *
That day she tells Dakota what's-his-name to fuck off and he smiles at her. Can't help but smile at her. Because in her own way she's saying "damn the man" just like that movie his mom likes to watch sometimes that's about that record store.
And when she smiles back at him things just change. They just do.
It doesn't matter that Quinn is in the room (to be honest if Rachel looked at him like that all the time he probably wouldn't even notice Quinn).
* * * * *
His world explodes when Quinn tells him that she's pregnant.
* * * * *
After they win the football game and he's kissing Quinn on the sidelines, his hands drop down to her stomach. She flinches slightly, and it hurts his chest. He understands her not wanting anyone to know about the baby, but to not even let him touch her there is pretty messed up.
As he rushes back toward the locker room he notices that Puck's eyes never meet his. Puck's smile never reaches his eyes, and he's just pretending to be happy about their win.
The biggest shock is when Puck walks over to Kurt, slaps him on the shoulder in a nice kind way, and says something. He's not close enough to hear it, but from the smile on Kurt's face he can tell that it's not a usual Puck thing that's been said.
What the fuck is going on with his friend?
* * * * *
The day Puck walks with him into the rehearsal room is the day his brain has a melt-down.
This is the same guy who called Glee Club "homo-explosion," who made fun of Finn every chance he got because Finn admitted to liking music and performing.
And again, he wonders what's going on.
Puck brings reinforcements with him. Mike and Matt, two decent guys. Puck sends a small nod to Kurt, and scans his eyes over the rest of the club.
Mr. Schue seems happy. Genuinely happy. So he says nothing.
But as the opening chords of "Tonight" ring through his ears, he watches Rachel, the door slipping closed silently behind her, a distressed look on her face.
(He's not the only one who notices.)
* * * * *
It started the next day.
* * * * *
After football practice he walks down the hall, going to his locker to collect his things before heading home. Coach ran them hard today, but Kurt continues to perform.
His head is filled with plays and Quinn, and Glee and Quinn, and the baby, and Quinn, and Rachel, and the baby and did he mention Rachel? It actually hurts to be thinking as much as he is. Physically.
He hears something strange coming from one of the darkened classrooms. He hears the scratch of a desk against the hard floor and wonders if maybe one of the teachers is still there cleaning up or something. Teachers have a habit of doing that everyone once in a while. But the lights are off.
He almost knocks on the shut door, when his friend walks out of the room with a smirk on his face.
Gives him a nod and walks the opposite direction.
Finn continues on his way. And doesn't turn around when he hears the door open again (he's not sure that he wants to know who Puck's flavour of the week is).
* * * * *
It's early, but his body is so damn tired. Not just tired, but exhausted. Not just exhausted but completely drained.
9:30. Fuck, he never goes to bed this early.
When did he get so old?
All these days of worrying over Quinn () have been giving him stomach aches. Have been making his eyes slip shut in class (not something really new for him).
He doesn't even have the energy to pick up his Xbox controller.
As soon as his head touches the soft pillow on his bed, he sleeps.
* * * * *
With Glee and football and Quinn and the baby (and Rachel) all filling his head he walks away from the locker room again. Puck has been taking off abruptly lately (not that he ever used to hang around waiting for Finn so that they could hold each other's books or something, but he's been checking out of practice faster and faster.
As the door to the locker room swings shut behind him he sees Puck pulled into a room by ivory smooth arms with perfectly manicured fingers at the end of them.
(He wonders who it is this time.)
He wanders to stand by the closed door and hears them whispering to each other, clothes popping slightly and rustling. A chair scraping along the floor. Something hard hitting the wall.
A giggle.
Leaning his ear up to the door silently he listens.
"Did he ever kiss you like this?"
No response.
"Did you let him touch you? Like I'm touching you?"
A female moan. Followed by a slam, maybe of a chair against the wall, or possibly a body.
Gasping sounds.
"No. No one but you."
Fuck. He recognizes that voice.
He knows that voice.
Knows the exact frame of the person it belongs to. Can imagine every curl in her hair, every curve of her petite body.
He backs away from the door, careful to keep his position a secret. He backs into the room across the hall. The lights are off and the blinds are drawn, there's no way that they'll be able to see him through the closed door.
And he waits.
Because he has some kind of sick curiosity. Because he can't help himself. Because she matters (more than he would like).
They exit the room together, Puck's hands combing through those curls he's dreamed about. Puck's body pressing against hers.
Puck walks one way.
Rachel walks the other.
* * * * *
He doesn't remember driving home.
* * * * *
He goes to see Miss Pillsbury the next day. He needs to start thinking about his kid and how he'll provide for him or her. He needs a good job, so he needs to go to college. So he needs a scholarship and she tells him that Rachel is the way to get it (and his heart breaks just a little).
So he uses what he has. Tells Rachel that he wants to meet her after school (tries to block out the image of another boy touching her).
Takes her out to the bowling alley. Teaches her how to throw the ball.
With her back against his body, her eyes on the ball that's flying down the lane, heading straight for the center pin, he almost believes the moment is perfect. When all of the pins fall down and her arms wrap around his neck he forces himself to keep his lips off of hers (her lips belong to Puck now. For now).
When he drives her home he can't help the urge. He presses his lips to hers and it's just like the first time. His body is telling him to do it again. To keep kissing her. But he pulls away and drives home (thoughts of Puck and Quinn and the baby floating around in his head).
* * * * *
The next day he's on his way to the school nurse for ice (or some painkillers), the stain of Rachel's hand on his face still. A harsh sounding "How could you" running through his mind over and over like a record that won't turn off.
He watches her run into the room with Puck again.
He really does want to have a man-to-man talk with Puck about the stuff that's been going on. There's just so much in his brain, he feels like it's going to explode. Or implode, or whatever.
He almost knocks on the door without thinking before he hears the sigh from inside. Then a moan.
He steps back around the corner, into the shadows to wait.
Puck leaves first, clothes rumpled slightly.
When Rachel steps from the room a few seconds later, her lips are stained pink, and he wants so badly to kiss her, he can taste it all the way through his body.
And it burns.
******
He really wants to say something. Really wants to ask Puck what the fuck is going on. Wants to know why Rachel would do that to him (but he knows that he has no right to ask).
Now that Rachel has come back to Glee, he finds himself staring at her sometimes during rehearsals. Watching her sing. Feeling the tremors that roll up his spine whenever his eyes lock with hers.
But on this particular day, just as all the ones before, he says nothing.
Puck follows Rachel out of the rehearsal room, and he knows exactly where they're going and why.
He doesn't follow them today, but hangs back in the music room. Helping Mr. Schue by stacking the chairs, organizing the piles of music he finds on the floor. He must spend at least 15 minutes avoiding the confrontation he can feel is coming.
He waits until after Puck has passed by him before walking up to the door of the classroom.
She walks right into him.
He steps once, twice, three times and she backs up. When they're fully inside he closes the door behind them whispering, "Him?"
He doesn't really want to talk about it. Doesn't want to tell her how hurt he really is by what she's doing. But he can't help himself.
"Of all the people in this school, you chose him?" He sounds angry, even to his own ears. He has no right. "Why would you sneak around with him?" Why?
He doesn't even really hear her answer as her lips transform into a smile before she scrapes them with her teeth. He hears something about how neither of them are seeing anyone. And some of that anger forms words in his mouth.
"What do you call us?"
When Rachel goes on about wanting to have some fun, all he can do is watch as her mouth moves, a brilliantly used pink flush to the soft, soft skin he knows tastes like the strawberry lip gloss she applies constantly. Lips that he needs to kiss.
So he does.
His lips close over hers, tongue brushing softly, then his teeth scrape against it. Just like he remembered. Strawberry. He loves strawberries, always has.
When they break for air he speaks softly, "What do you call that?"
He watches her shut down, second by second. "Quinn."
Shit.
Quinn, and his baby, and Rachel and Puck. All meld into one big huge problem for him. One that he can't solve on his own. One that he can't figure out.
"This means something." He says it as she exits the room. And it's the truth. (And it hurts like the truth often does.)
******
He doesn't mean to tell. (Or so he tries to convince himself.) But it comes out like word vomit.
He's standing around, talking to the Mike and Matt after football practice. The guys are talking about Brittany and Santana and their plans for the weekend. He's trying his absolute hardest to keep the words down, even as come out.
"Well, did you hear about Puck and Rachel? Maybe you should invite them to go along with you on your double date."
"Dude, WHAT?"
"Yeah, Finn, what the fuck? Puck and Rachel?"
"Yeah, I saw them the other day, walking down the hall, hand in hand." He doesn't have the guts to tell them what he actually saw. What he heard through the door as he was creepishly stalking them both.
"Dude, why would Puck lie about that? The girl is HOT!" He works really fucking hard to not punch Mike in the face for that comment. Because Rachel is more than just that. She's sweet and kind and sticks up for him. Wants him to be something more than what he pretends to be at football practice or in the hallways. She's not just some piece of ass that Puck and Mike and Matt can talk about like that.
Mike and Matt continue their conversation even as he turns his head in disgust (with himself) and walks away.
******
Something changes after that.
When they're in the hallway (not that he's watching them in a stalker-y way at all) they're so… familiar. Like they share a special secret or something.
When Rachel looks at Puck – which is more often than he's like to admit – she has this softness about her. He doesn't like it. Not one bit.
It's more than that though.
When Puck looks back (not that he's really noticed) he has this half smirk on his face that might actually be a smile. And he doesn't spend all his time staring at Rachel's sweater, or at those ridiculously short skirts. Puck looks at her face more than anything else. With this super weird expression on his face. Like he can't believe this is happening to him.
So what is happening to him?
Yeah, he's a little out of it, but even his issues with Call of Duty and staying awake in class, he hasn't missed those secret glances.
He follows Puck's advice about the school nurse and pops those little blue pills.
******
He remembers everything except their performance on stage.
Like he walks on stage, grabs his microphone and then nothing until he steps off stage.
Rachel's eyes are wide, and when he and the boys go to celebrate he does notice that Puck doesn't follow them.
Come to think of it Puck disappears after that.
******
The girls' mash-up he does remember. He bops his head, worrying briefly about Quinn and the baby during all those hops. But more about Rachel and those damn hair flips. He hopes she doesn't break anything.
At the end, when she's bouncing up and down he watches her throw her arms around Mr. Schue, and is jealous (not for the first time) of another man that Rachel has touched.
******
When Puck actually attends Math that day (already something strange), he smells of sex and Rachel.
Finn asks to be excused, and ends up dry heaving in the bathroom.
******
After his heart-to-heart with Rachel (pushing hard at the image of Puck and Rachel being PuckandRachel, up against a wall in the janitor's closet, or on the floor in the rehearsal room, Puck hands skimming underneath Rachel's skirts touching something he's not supposed to be touching), Finn throws the blue pills in the garbage.
******
Everyone finds out about Quinn. Not that he's surprised. He was pretty sure that within a few months they were going to find out anyway.
He still can't believe that Rachel would give up a piece of herself to Jacob of all people (he's a bit of a perv). And all for Quinn.
Ms. Sylvester's words don't really affect him as much as they do Quinn. And what is he supposed to do? He sits there in the room and holds her hand. Trying hard not to stare at someone else in the room with intense brown eyes and an obsessive personality. Trying not to think about his lack of fascination with boobs and trying hard not to remember the feel of a different body under his.
Fuck.
Puck is quiet. He's never really had any love for Quinn. Finn remember when they first started dating Puck was pretty outspoken about the whole "bros before hos" thing. Maybe Puck thought that dating Quinn would cut into guy hang out time or something (which it did. Of course, it did).
When everyone leaves the room (even Puck followed closely by Rachel) he and Quinn sit, not saying a word, not even touching. Just staring off into the great unknown. Wondering what's going to happen next.
******
Later, at practice, as he sings a song with a girl he has feelings for, to a girl who's having his baby, his world slips just a bit.
His voice blends with Rachel's as they sing about holding on to something (someone), he wonders if he wants to hold on to Rachel or Quinn. He's pretty sure that he knows the answer even as his arms reach out for Quinn.
When Rachel's hand lands on his chest (and he feels her fingers spread and grip slightly to his shirt), his hand covers hers, and he thinks that maybe this is perfect. Maybe this is how things are supposed to be.
But as they spin around, Rachel's head looks down and she has this expression on her face. Like a part of her is broken and can't ever be fixed again. Like no amount of super glue or duct tape or whatever will ever be able to make her whole again.
He looks back to Quinn, telling her in song that everything will work out. That things will be fine.
His hands find hers (and Rachel's). One softly comforting, the other sparkling and new.
He wonders again if it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time.
******
He doesn't dream.
******
Contrary to popular belief, it's not Quinn who tells him the truth.
Ironically enough it's a youtube video he finds after googling himself one night. One about debunking (what the fuck does that mean anyway? Why can't people use just plain English?) myths about sex. The video says that it's practically impossible to get pregnant without actually having sex (if he's really honest, he kind of figured that before, but why would Quinn lie to him?).
Then he gets a text on his phone.
How is Jr. doing?
It doesn't take long to figure out the rest.
He's always wondered why Puck hated Quinn so much. Like the boy who plays with girls' pigtails or calls them names to get their attention. Puck hated Quinn because he didn't hate Quinn at all.
But they fucked.
And there's no excuse.
And there's no getting over that.
******
So they sit across from one another in the sick room, Puck with a cut above his eye, some bruises on his abs – because Finn's mom raised him right his lower extremities are still intact.
Finn's hands are killing him. His skin over his knuckles is broken in a number of places. And he doesn't feel any better.
In fact, he feels worse.
He's not sure if that's due to the image of his girlfriend fucking his former best friend, or the girl he secretly wants fucking his former best friend. Hell, it's both and he knows it.
When the door opens and Rachel walks in, he looks towards her, then through her. She's part of this betrayal, too.
He dismisses her attentions, too angry to think about the fact that she came to him first, before that other asshole. Sends her packing over to Sir Fuck's-a-lot.
And they fucking whisper to each other. She's not angry with him. In fact, it looks like she knew all along. It looks an awful lot like she lied to him, too. Kept the truth from him. The truth that his girlfriend is a whore and his best friend is a mother fucking bastard.
"Fuck this," he says to no one in particular (he already has detention for the rest of the week, but secretly believes that it was worth it), "I'm going back to class." And he leaves the two of them in the room.
Funny, how life works out, isn't it?
******
He knows what happens after that. He doesn't hear about it from them, or anyone else. But he knows just the same.
******
He goes to visit Quinn at her parent's house. Asks her to step outside because he'd rather do this in the cold, winter sun.
"I don't care when it happened, or why it happened. I don't care that he's been in love with you for a long time. I especially don't give a fuck how you feel about him." He takes a deep breath (wishing that he'd worn a scarf). "From this moment, we are no longer a couple. Officially broken up." He's making wild gestures with his hands, but his voice remains fairly calm. (This is better than all his trial runs in the mirror.) "But, I'm not going to desert this baby, regardless of who the father is. The baby deserves more than that. Maybe more than me, more than you, more than Puck. This baby deserves everything good and kind. And so that's what we're going to do."
He doesn't care that she has tears running down her cheeks. He's glad (extremely glad) that she's strong enough to keep her mouth shut, not offering any kind of excuse to him (because there is none).
"Things will never be the same. They will never go back to how they were. Do you understand?" She doesn't speak, only nods her head. "Okay. So when is your next ultrasound?" He says it softly now and her hand reaches out for his.
******
The next time Finn and Rachel sing together it's weeks later.
He thinks about her (a lot).
Maybe even dreams about her (in a completely non-creepy type way).
But now he watches and waits while she smiles at someone else, and laughs with someone else (and kisses someone else).
He wonders how Rachel survived feeling this way for so long (like he wants to pull Puck out of the rehearsal room and beat him to a pulp or take Rachel in his arms, against the wall, until she screams out his name – only his, no one else).
One day, when they touch – a simple piece of choreography during a song – he thinks he sees a flicker of something. Something that might be a memory. But to him, it looks a lot like hope.
And that's enough (for now).