author's note: Light was caught; someone burned the Note to keep it from being found. The consequences weren't quite considered.

Light is scared of dying.

He came to this realization after a week alone in his four by five foot cell that he can see even with his eyes closed now. So far, there has been nothing but the waiting. But he knew it would be worse soon. They – no, he – were just wearing him down first, letting his own mind work against him.

It's working.

No one knew that he's here. No human rights groups would protest to see the conditions of his imprisonment. No government agency would be held responsible for damage sustained in captivity. No, this is L, and L alone.

And L, he knew, had only the loosest respect for international laws. Does that include torture? The walls around him, he imagined, were thick, solid concrete. He could howl until his throat bled and no one would ever hear.

And he was so frightened of dying.

A door clanged, somewhere above his head, and he looked up sharply, breathing quickening. He knew why this room, windowless, near soundless, full of echoes. So he won't know what's going on, where he is, when someone is coming. It takes away his control. And L knows how important that control is.

He could feel the adrenaline starting to pump into his veins. They could use that against him. There is nothing they couldn't use against him. And perhaps nothing they won't.

He dropped his chin to his chest and tried to breathe, to think. There's a thin, distracting whine in his ears and he couldn't tell if it was only in his mind or quite deliberate, to keep his thoughts scattered and fragmented…

"Yagami." A metallic voice, but not L. Watari? Or is it L? He didn't lift his head, even if his neck was starting to ache in this position. "Do you know why you are here?"

"I know why," he said. "But I don't understand-"

"Silence. Is there anything you wish to say?"

Light licked his lips. They felt dry, chapped; they cracked under his tongue. "I'm thirsty."

"Is that all?" L sounded disappointed. Light fought to think of what more he could possibly want.

"That's all," he said, "Can I please-"

The voice cut out with an audible buzz of static. He waited for several long minutes, but it didn't come back, and no one brought him water. He laid down on the concrete floor and tried to go to sleep, only to toss and turn for the whine drilling through his head, boring into his brain.

I'm innocent. He clung to that. I'm innocent.

And he was. He had to be. No matter what L said, he knew that.

Didn't he?

Light woke up again to the buzz of the intercom. His mouth was dry and felt like it was full of sawdust. "How did you kill them?" the distorted voice asked. "Do you remember, now?"

"I didn't kill anyone," Light said, desperately. "L – is that you, L-"

"L is dead," the voice said tonelessly, and he was struck utterly dumb, a scream welling up in his throat. L, dead? Who killed – not him. Not him, he knew that, but they would never believe him…

"Please," he said, desperately, "You have to believe me. It wasn't me. I didn't do anything."

"Where were you two weeks ago at 4 o'clock in the afternoon?"

"I don't remember," Light said, and heard how much it sounded like a lie. "No, really – I don't remember, I don't – maybe I was asleep -I don't know! I wouldn't kill L – Ryuzaki. He's my-"

"Unless you were Kira. If you are Kira, then everything you say is probably a lie. Goodnight, Yagami. Consider what you have done."

"I haven't done anything!" He yelled, but the intercom had already clicked closed, and he lowered his face into his knees, nearly crying with frustration. He had nothing to give, no way to prove himself. They could keep him here forever.

He woke again to a foot nudging his back, toes curling over his shoulder blade and shaking his body back and forth. He started, opening his eyes, and looked up in confusion. "They said you were dead."

"I lied," L said, pulling his foot away and looking down with no expression in his black eyes, hands in his pockets. "It's easy; you and I do it hundreds of times a day." He tilted his head. "So. How do you kill them?"

"I didn't kill anyone," he insisted, and L frowned at him. "I didn't! I never would-"

"Shut up, Kira-kun." He lowered his mouth to his wrist, murmured something into the watch, then looked back up. "Watari will get you some water. I think we should talk."

He thought frantically, fast. "If you're going to interrogate me on – suspicion - I need a lawyer, I have a right to-"

L reached out and slapped him casually across the face. Light was struck dumb by surprise and stared at him, blinking. "That's where you're wrong," Ryuzaki said, calmly. "You don't have any rights, Light Yagami. You gave them up with your humanity. Besides, two days ago the 17 most powerful nations in the world agreed to the treatment of Kira, when he was caught, as an international terrorist and not a criminal. No lawyer."

Light could feel his heart beat faster, hopefully. "If you said-"

"If," I asked them. "When. They were happy to grant it, as a preemptive measure. They have no idea that Kira is even in my hands. Answer my question, Yagami. How did you kill them?"

"I'm not Kira," Light insisted, the hope withering. "Please – however I can convince you, if confinement-"

"The killings stopped the day you were confined."

"It might be someone else, another member of the force who knows-"

"None of them know."

"For god's sake, it could be you-" L was shaking his head and Light closed his mouth hard. Ryuzaki extended one slender hand out, took Light's hand, folded his other on top of it.

And then seized and broke one of the fingers on his right hand, his writing hand, with a sickening crack. Light screamed and tried to yank away, but that only hurt more, his vision blurring with the pain for a moment, white and sharp as knives.

"Oops," L said coolly, "I'm sorry," and jerked the broken bone back into place. Light's body spasmed again at the new pain but only made a ragged sound in his throat. L relinquished his hand. "Tell me," he said, and it was frightening, eerie, how his voice and demeanor hadn't changed at all, even when he snapped…

"Please," Light begged. "I don't know anything. Please believe me."

"You are right handed, aren't you? I remember that." Another finger. Crack. Light screamed again, could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and hated himself, hated L for making them be there. "Tell me."

"If I could, I would tell you! I don't know, I don't know how Kira-" L dropped his hand and stood, gliding in a slow circle before moving like a snake, fingers wrapping around Light's neck and shoving his face toward his knees.

"How you. How you killed them, Yagami. Just tell me that."

Spikes of pain shot up Light's spine and he could feel his body buck, protesting the forced and uncomfortable position. "Do you want me to lie? I don't know, I don't know anything, we're supposed to be working together-"

Ryuzaki's thumb ran down his spine, seeking a certain spot, slid right, pressed down. Light couldn't keep from howling again; it felt as though L's thumb stabbed right through his skin and twisted into internal organs. "Stop it," Light managed, breathless, "Stop it, please…"

L pulled away, straightened, and sat down on the floor, knees to his chest. "Are you ready to tell me, then?" His voice was soft, deep, eyes liquid and fathomless. Light drew a ragged breath.

"Why – are you doing this? Why do you…I don't understand."

"I need to know how you killed them, Kira."

"I didn't-"

L stood up again, and Light flinched, sharply, but he almost smiled. "Light-kun…I don't want to be here, doing this. You're my friend, after all…the only person I've ever thought of as an equal. I would sooner make this easy."

Light swallowed, thrown off by the sudden change in demeanor. "—how?"

"Just confess," L said, easily, "Tell me everything, and I can see to it you don't end up in prison, that there's no public trial to horrify your family, that you don't die."

Light looked away. "You say that like you – want me to lie to you."

"Light, you're my friend," L said again. "Please don't make me hurt you again." His fingers throbbed with agony, counterpoint to the pain in his back. At that moment, there was a knock at the door and L turned away. "Just think," he said, and went over to the door. Light watched his back, confused, trying to make out the murmurs.

If I move quickly, he thought, I might be able to kill myself now, and end it here.

A moment later he couldn't believe the thought had crossed his mind. It was only lack of sleep, and thirst, and L was already returning with a glass full of ice water. "Here," he said, kindly, "Drink this. You sound parched."

Light reached out for it, but L pulled it back. "No, keep your hands down. Let me. Just a precaution." Light lowered his arms to his sides and let L kneel next to him, hold the glass up to his lips and tip it gently back. Helpless, Light opened his mouth and sighed with pleasure as the water ran down his throat, swallowing fast to keep from choking, but not fast enough. Light gargled, choked, and coughed water, and L pulled it away, smiling slightly as Light gagged and spat water on the floor. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

Light stayed bent over, hating L again for putting him through this without any reason, without any proof. Then strong hands began rubbing in circles on his back. He stiffened, confused. "Better?" L asked, quietly.

"What are you doing?" Light asked, "I don't understand-"

L leaned down again, lips brushing just against the shell of Light's ear. "I want," he said, and paused, breathed out, and Light shivered and was uncertain why. It took him several moments to realize that he was holding his breath.

"You to confess, Raito-kun." He sounded so sad, so remorseful. "It would make everything easier. For both of us. I have an idea, but I need confirmation…"

Light took in a deep breath to clear his head. "If you want to execute me," he said, voice trembling, "Then you hardly need me to say anything. You can do whatever the hell you want, and it doesn't matter if I'm guilty or not."

"Are you guilty?"

"No," Light said, "I'm innocent!" And L lashed out, pressing his fingers into the pressure points on his neck.

"How did you kill them?" Light struggled to breathe, vision fading out to white under the pain. "Why didn't Misa need a name and a face?" He thrashed, trying to escape the grip on the back of his neck. "How many names did you write?"

"I don't know!" Light cried, body bucking, arching desperately. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know anything – please, let me go, let me go-"

L let him go, only to drag him to the wall, spread out his fingers against the concrete. "How did you kill them?" He demanded again, eyes boring into Light's as Light breathed fast and hard, sure that Ryuzaki had gone mad, that he was going to die, right now in this basement where no one knew-

"I didn't kill them," he cried, "I didn't-" And L's hand slammed down at the perfect angle, all the fingers on his right hand cracking neatly and perfectly and he was screaming in absolute pain until the world left and he was alone for one blissful moment.

And then he was back, slumped on the floor, cradling his hand while the tears rolled down his cheeks. "Damn you," he whispered. "What do you want from me? Do you really want lies that much?" A flash of anger passed over L's face ever so briefly, and was gone.

"No," L said, his eyes bottomless like the vacuum of space, devouring all light and air. "I will have a confession from you, Kira. I will bring you to justice."

"This isn't justice," Light cried. "L, you've gone mad-"

"You cannot change my mind," L intoned. "Justice is blind. She will not favor you."

"Please," Light begged, but L's eyes did not change. They never would. He cradled his hand more tightly to his chest and turned his tear-streaked face upward. "Please, you have to help me! Something's gone wrong-"

"No, Kira." L cut him off, turned around, looked him squarely in the eyes. "Something's finally going right."