Bluebirds and Bloodstains
Anna was a well-seasoned angel - not entirely old, but not entirely young. She was an angel who was pure of heart. Her grace was built of sunlight and warmth. She had consistently rose in ranks since the beginning of her existence and had finally made it to the top of her game – a general. As a general it was her job, no, her duty to watch over her garrison. She had to train them, prepare them for any possible scenario that could happen in the future. Her subordinates were to listen to her every order and not question it. She was not to be challenged. Though, Anna secretly encouraged such behavior, no one really did it. Except for a special little angel that Anna sometimes swore she wanted to punch and then sometimes just wanted to hug him as tightly as she could and tell him never to be so stupid again. That special little angel had been her younger brother, Castiel. Anna was well aware of his capabilities. He showed more promise than many of his brothers, but it didn't stop her from overshadowing his every move. Even from the shadows. His promise, though mind-bogglingly brilliant in most areas, was also frightening. His views, his mind, his heart – a heart that he should not have – his everything was creating him to be something that Heaven would not take kindly to.
This had become painstakingly apparent to Anna when Castiel was a fledgling and she had just been promoted to the tasks of pulling innocent souls from Hell and dutifully bringing them to Heaven where they belonged. It really didn't happen much – but when it did, it was a very big deal. The kind that people talked about for months on end. The kind that lower-ranked angels became jealous over. Anna remembered that somehow she had to take care of a dying bird. A baby Blue Bird, to be exact. Anna had taken the younger Castiel with her due to his insistent pleads for her to take him because he didn't want to be left with Gabriel. Anna had regretted it too. Castiel sniffling over the Bluebird was torture.
"Why's he got to die, Anna?" Castiel had asked her. The innocence in his voice had hurt. He was genuinely upset by the thought of this single bird dying and he wasn't the only one there becoming distressed.
"Because it is Father's will."
"Why's Father want him dead, Anna? He's just a baby bird." Anna had lowered to her knees and pulled the crying Cas close to her as they sat on the shoreline of a lake. Her bare feet buried into the warm sand as Castiel continued to cry and sniffle.
"Because this little baby bird is suffering." She said, looking down to him. "And he needs to go home."
"But he doesn't deserve to die, Anna. What did he do?" Anna remembered the frustrated sigh she had given to her brother and how she had only twitched her fingers to rub his shoulder and arm. Her eyes had wandered out to stare at the lake before them, the sunlight refracting off the dark blue in sparkles.
"He didn't do a thing, Cas." She had told him. "It's just his time." And Castiel wasn't having it.
"Anna we can't let him die. I can heal him!" Anna remembered the fear he had instilled into her in those few words. His eyes were determined and his little features had scrunched up and his eyes had squinted into a slant at her. His lower lips had been pouted out pathetically at his older sister as if that would get her to budge. Those words were words that could get him killed. Words that could set off a revolution if one wasn't careful.
"Cas, lemme hold the bird. I will heal him." Anna remembered the feelings that had swarmed her when she had said those words. She had been lying to his face and Castiel being the trusting brother he was was going to listen to her and she knew it. Castiel's features had softened. Little eyes widened and a small smile crossed his face.
"You'd really do that, Anna?" Anna had only nodded, though her stomach twisted sharply. He had gingerly placed the suffering bird into her hands and she remembered staring down at it as Cas peered down to her hands eagerly. She made it seem like a mistake, that the bird, by pre-determined fate was going to die no matter what she had tried but Castiel was sharp. He was extremely intelligent as all other angels were and he knew what she had done.
"Anna!" The hurt tone in his voice had only solidified her wrong in her mind, but she couldn't do anything more about it. Had she disobeyed both she and Cas would've been punished. It was worth gaining Castiel's temporary hate.
"I am sorry, Castiel. The bird's time had come."
"You are horrible!"
"I am sorry."
"You cannot apologize for killing the bird, Anna!" Anna had flinched and frowned to her brother then, but had hardened up.
"Yes, well. It was what Father wanted. And you would do good to follow by Father's orders." Her words had been more snappish than needed but she had to get her point across. The thought of losing Castiel to Heaven's tyrannical ways scared her. Someone as pure as he was didn't deserve that. He had fallen silent and didn't dare question her for the rest of their time on Earth before she had dragged him back to Heaven where she could begin her duties again.
That was the thing, though. She watched over her whole garrison. The garrison was full of angels she had known since fledgling-hood. Castiel, Uriel, you name them, she knew them. She had led them into various battles and fought alongside them all but there was always a special spot for the younger Castiel. Even since the beginning. He, like her, was different. As always. Anna had always known that one angel had heart due to past altercations with him when he was younger. She also knew it'd be the death of him. That actually frightened Anna. Castiel had something angels shouldn't have – angels were designed to not feel they weren't supposed to care. They didn't have the equipment, but somehow, some way, Castiel had the equipment and if his attention focused well-enough on something he couldn't be deterred easily. Angels like him were not welcome in Heaven and Anna was well aware of that. Any signs of rebellion and H.I.(Heaven Intelligence) would shut it down just as fast as it had started. Anna had done her best not to feed the flame but somehow it continued to grow – and it was out of her hands. Somehow, though, she had managed to convince herself otherwise. That maybe Castiel was good at hiding his emotions. But she had been wrong.
Terribly, terribly wrong.
And the only thing that had brought that to light was the day that Balthazar came to disturb her from her daily rituals to inform her that Castiel had been taken into H.I.'S offices – but it wasn't taken. He had been dragged. Anna remembered dropping whatever she had been holding on the floor of her Heaven and hadn't wasted any time in making her way to the offices. She knew she was going to face her worst fear in that office. She just wasn't so sure she wanted to admit it to herself as she burst through the glass doors.
Crimson red glimmered in stark contrast on the pristine white tiles. Anna's stomach was twisting and churning, a bile rising in her throat slowly. She could hear heavy breathing. The breaths were raspy and shaky – a sure sign of extreme pain. Her hands trembled with fear as she stepped closer to the chair. She could hear the distinct dripping of blood. Her eyes wandered over to the table beside the chair that restrained a fellow angel. She could see the hilt of the drill that had been used many times before in the practice of resetting angels and she knew what waited on the other side of that drill. The drill bit would be covered in crimson red, a sight Anna wasn't sure she could handle. She knew they had taken Castiel in custody. Balthazar had been to one to come and tell her. He might've acted like he hadn't cared but Anna knew just why he had come to tell her. Castiel's best interest was what they were both after and it seemed as if they had failed in doing that much.
She was now right on the chair. Her breathing was shaky and her hands continued to tremble by her side. She was a General. She shouldn't be afraid of this. She was a Warrior of God, for goodness sake! She should be able to stare down anything without feeling like she was going to vomit. Admittedly, this was one point in time Anna wished she hadn't been different. A time where she had wished she were just as blank as the rest of the angels. A time where she had wished so wholly she didn't give a good God damn about her little brother but she did and it was going to destroy her just like his feelings were destroying him. She sucked in a deep breath and stepped around the chair to find Castiel had been released. The angel did a movement to heal his bleeding wrists. There wasn't even a noise from the healing like there usually was. He took it without even so much as a flinch. He seemed alright. At least until he faced his sister. When he looked up Anna made a little noise. Blood. That's all her eyes could see. Her eyes could see beyond the physical surface of her brother and what stared back at her was so grotesque she was afraid she were going to be sick like a human would.
His Grace was twisted in a form she had never witnessed before. It were almost as if someone had blended glass and feathers together and expected it to be beautiful. The bright light that usually stood for his Grace had been dimmed considerably. Hospital florescent had turned into ratty motel dark and it made her ache somewhere deep in her chest. This wasn't Castiel. This wasn't her baby brother. Naomi had twisted him to her whim just because he had "dangerous" thoughts and had apparently disobeyed an important order. Anna would never have proof of the last one but the first one she did know had happened. Castiel had views just like her and sometimes she even blamed herself for him adopting them. Maybe if she had shoved him toward one of his more complacent brothers he wouldn't be in this predicament. Maybe he'd have been saved the pain of that drill tearing through his Grace and causing fiery pain.
Anna continued to stare at Castiel as he laid there for a few moments. Almost as if he were still processing things. Maybe he didn't know what he was supposed to do now. Maybe they had reset him so much he had to have orders just to react. There were so many things they could've done to him and each one only made Anna even more infuriated. Mourning was turning into unbearable anger. She was becoming blood thirsty for revenge – desperate to protect Castiel from how Heaven was controlling their Angels.
"Cas?" Anna questioned softly, taking a few cautious steps forward as she reached out for one his hands.
"Castiel." His voice was empty and his eyes hadn't even flickered to her when she had spoke.
And it was in that moment all of Anna's worst fears had been confirmed. It was as if everything around her came crashing down in that instant. A horrified look crossed her face as her brother rose to his feet and exited the office without so much as another glance to her. Anna took in a deep, shaking breath again and her arms folded as she tucked them to her. Her bottom lip trembled as she fought off the tears that threatened to fall. Her mind raced and the gears in her head whirred. She knew what was coming for Castiel. After this it was nothing but rough sailing from here and she knew it. The first time was only the onset of many others to come. This had been the first time they had done it and he cracked well.
Too well.
He's done for.