Severus Snape's reactions and feelings when hears of Lily's death. Mild swearing.

My Love

I had asked Dumbledore to keep Lily and her family safe. Begged, I guess, not asked. He had promised they would be protected, hidden under the Fidelius Charm and everything. They trusted the wrong person as secret keeper though. Peter was the keeper and betrayed them.

Flashback

October 31, 1981

Dumbledore had called me up to his office. At the time, I thought he would give me another task as spy. I never though I would hear him say that she was dead. When he said Voldemort was gone my heart leaped. Without hesitation I asked if Lily could come out of hiding. He didn't say anything at first, and then I started worrying.

Then he said, "You will want to be sitting when I tell you this." Fearing the worst I, did, and he continued. "Earlier this evening Peter Pettigrew went to Voldemort, and as secret keeper was able to tell him where Lily and James were hiding. Voldemort acted on that information right away. At approximately 8:30pm he entered their house and killed James. Lily died shortly after."

At that point I didn't hear anything else Dumbledore said, I had started crying. I didn't give a shit about men being weak when they cried. My love was dead. She was what I lived for, and now she was gone. I managed to compose myself after a time.

"Her son lives. He has her eyes, her exact eyes. You remember the color and shape of Lily Evan's eyes don't you?"

He was goading me, and I snapped. "DON'T!" Starting to lose control again, I sobbed out, "She's gone … dead."

"Is this remorse Severus?"

He really knows how to make someone feel worthless with his goading. "I wish …" sob "…I wish I was dead."

In his coldest voice, "And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved her, truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

I couldn't comprehend what he said. "What - what do you mean?"

Answering softer than before, "You know how and why she died. Help me make sure she didn't die in vain. Help me to protect her son."

"He doesn't need it! The Dark Lord is gone-"

"The Dark Lord will return, and when he does Harry Potter will be in grave danger."

"Fine … whatever."

Present Day

October 31, 1982

Godric's Hollow Cemetery

Kneeling at Lily's grave, I think back. It was a year ago today, and not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I never told her I loved her, but it probably would have been unrequited anyway. My love, my life gone in a heartbeat. With one last look, I get up to leave.

Lily Evans-Potter

Born 30 January 1960

Died 31 October 1981

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

"Good-bye love."

"Your eyes,

As we said our good-byes,

Can't get them out of my mind

And I find I can't hide,

From your eyes

…

How'd I let you slip away

When I'm longing so to hold you?

Now I'd die for one more day

Cause there's something

I should have told you

…

When I looked into your eyes.

…

I should tell you, I should tell you,

I have always loved you,

You can see it in my eyes. "

RENT